Have you ever been in a relationship, had a lover or an erotic encounter where at the end of the day you noticed you were thinking “that was good but my inner needs and desires were not really being fulfilled?" Sure, chemistry is important in the classroom but it is essential in sensuality. Vanilla is a spice that is better left in the kitchen and spice better if brought in the bedroom. Work with me for a second. I am confident you will agree that the four corner posts of any sensual relationship or encounter whether it be D/S or vanilla are founded in communication, respect, trust, and desire.
Things that make the RCA dog cock his head and say what is a Dom doing talking about communication, respect, trust and desire? A real Dom respects the difference between being confident and being cocky. Confidence and a take charge persona is a turn on where arrogance and being cocky is a turn off. As a sub there is an innate desire to please and follow good leadership and as a Dom it is my job to respect that submission is a gift. Are we not all tired of "want to be Dom’s"? When a sub or slave submits by saying I trust you; that really puts the burden of responsibility on the Dom to provide and protect. My responsibility is to protect your boundaries, and your emotions yet push your boundaries and teach. If I provide a safe erotic environment where all your deepest darkest desires can be met, you let your hair down and slutty side out. You will have a desire to grow, to where your erotic desires will become unbridled. My job is to provide that safe harbor where your submissive side flourishes and to protect your emotions where after an incredible erotic encounter you are left with a feeling of wanting more. Trust me that knowledge matters. It is not the actual act trust me it is the mind, we will get there.
Communication, yes I am very verbal and more than good at role play. Imagine you were running late for our date and when we met I gently put fingers in your hair as I pull your head back putting your ear right next to my mouth as I whisper you are late asking if you are looking forward to being disciplined. You notice that I continually ask you questions making you communicate and engage your mind. With my hand still in your hair I put you on your knees as I bend you over with your ass in the air and ask if you desire to have your skirt pulled up exposing your ass. Because you hesitate enjoying the dialog, you feel the smack of my hand on your ass and begin to understand I have engaged your mind to where my asking you questions draws out your slutty side. This encourages your submissive communication and you respect that being late will not be acceptable. You look forward to the erotic journey to come. Hummmm respect communication, trust and desire?
Desire is the wild card. We can earn each other’s mutual respect. I can respect your gift of submission and you respect my dominant eroticism. We can communicate our wants well but without having the desire to make it happen it does not work. You have to ask yourself do you have the desire to submit, the desire to please and learn? Do I have the desire to keep it fresh with words that end in Y. You know kinky classy nasty, sexy, and fun. Ok fun does not end in Y but I am pretty darn fun and yes I have the desire to keep it that way.
If I did not capture your mind, I did not do my job. It is the mind that is the most erotic organ in the body. Capture the mind and the rest will follow. It is the mind that can create those erotic scenarios that bridge sex into eroticism. Think back and be honest; when you have seen, imagined or partaken in a steamy sexy scenario it was your mind that was captured. It was your mind and thought process that had you captivated. It is that nasty, kinky mind that when captured says I got ya. It is the mind being captured that makes a D/S encounter way past steamy past hot, and into being erotic. Some are good at it some are not. No I am not cocky, but very confident in this arena. I invite you to stick a toe in the water and test the temperature.