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kajirah{C/EKV}-{CWTF} Owned slavegirl
(Update- In order for this one to access message boards an additional account was created- Hiskajirah)
"Do not try to force me to be what you want me to be! Rather accept me for what I want to be, and am!—one who knows she belongs at the feet of men!—and desires to be at the feet of men!—their slave!!—their loving slave!” ~Witness of Gor.
Devoted, loyal, acquiescent, passive, altruistic, playful, wild, sometimes shy, passionate and compassionate slave-wife Property of Clamperius(EKV). Per his decision, she also serves under Master Digenes{CWTF}
she's also known as:
ellaj{C}, ella{CWTF} and twinkle{EKV}. *La pagar kajira
However weak our hearts may be, we are not that weak we cannot stand the pain, and, however strong we may be, we are not so strong that pain can't touch us!
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Have not written an entry on this account for several months. This account will not go to message boards/forums and she has never understood why. In order to access forums, she frequents the Gorean Philo's board, she was forced to use a secondary name. That name is very similar to this one, but it is.. Hiskajirah instead. Her blog is at: http://elysianreveries.blogspot.com
She is diverse. She reveals offline serving, survival and honest to God living and learning as it is for her and around her. From her Master's perspective to her own personal feelings and thoughts. We follow the path of the Gorean ethos. Whether we are accepted or not hardly matters. It is our character that defines us.... Even in marriage.
She has been kept by the same man for nearly 23 years. Since a young girl of 17.
Sometimes she's 17 again...
but regardless of labels.. she's forever been a slave.
Simply slave
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Am getting a new tattoo next week. It's the Comedy and Tragedy Masks and for those that know this girl or who have been apart of her life for years...... will understand exactly what it will mean to her.
This is going to be very special. Very very special.
The pain will be worse than any of the other 3 tattoo's that she already has, but she will endure it, somehow someway and without any regrets.... even when the tears begin to fall. |
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Pain is universal...
... but so is hope. |
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Wishing you all ...
A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year where hopes and dreams come true.
Please be as well as you can be...
~k |
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I really love to Debate!!!
*beg *beg *beg
... Bring it! |
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Have been so tired lately, sleeping for 30 hours at a time and then during awake times working hard on one specific website for now. She's going to start home schooling again soon until she can manage to attend personally. Working on a Diploma in Corporate Publishing and over half way there.
Always better late than never and while she'll with no doubt be late, she'll get it at some point. That's all that matters. ~smiles
Pain is the only proof that we really exist, that we are truly alive. Feeling it is a constant reminder... and sometimes we need reminding.
So with that I'm cruely blessed with feeling alive every moment that I live.. in each drink of air I take in and in every breath that I let out.
jirah is happy that she's meeting a few here and she's even happier that a few from her past have come back into her life.
We belong near one another, it's why we crossed paths and made pieces of history in the first place... that's why it's called destiny.
Destiny isn't over yet...
... Some of it has only just begun.
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Happy to have gotten one of her websites re-built since being offline for a few weeks while changing servers. It's strong again and will get more informative daily.
~smiles |
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“I leaned forward a little, and reached out with my lips for the whip. In ecstasy, I kissed it. I kissed it lovingly and lingeringly. I think that I had never been so happy, or so fulfilled, as in those moments. Then, with my tongue, again and again, softly, tenderly, lovingly, I licked it. I could taste the leather. I feared only the moment when it would be taken from me."
~Witness of Gor, page 32~ |
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Sooo...
Did jirah freak ya'll out when she threw her fit the other day which was noted in her last entry? ~nibbles her lip
(am probably going to get billed for the destruction of that coat rack atleast. ~lowers dark raven eyes with an almost silent sigh then raises them a moment later, oh my god what a rush!!)
Hey, life is tough, full of love, giving, living and dying. We all have our hills and valleys, our winding roads, the streets we'll never make it to the end of, the stars we grab for and almost catch, right there within our reach, so very close. So very close!
Have had many here tell a girl how intriguing she is, how mysterious, how they would love to get to know her, how beautiful her eyes are, succulent lips. Reminds a wench of many other similar comments and compliments- "fuck me eyes and suck me lips". ~winks with a soft smile.
Am open to possible LTR's, discussing alternative ways of living, Gorean philosophy, our lifestyle and growing community, world philosophy, psychology, neurology, alternative medicines, sexuality, sensuality, M/s, D/s, and BDSM, am very diverse. Am an avid researcher, love to learn, am educated, quite bright, love to teach, crave tons of subjects which only few would have any sexual relation, and love to debate respectfully, but as friendship's only. Even in friendship will always maintain her nature as slavegirl, but if you are a sub/slave male remember she does not submit to you in anyway, nor will you call her Mistress, and don't ever expect her to dominate you in anyway. Have received messages from some of you that while jirah is clearly a slave and you know it, a few of you um... think you're going to get from her something you never will. If by chance you have an overwhelming urge to have this girl"tell you what to do?" she would be pleased at that point to tell you to kiss her calico ass, deprive you of it and then have you place her on ignore as you will put on hers as well ~shudders.
She is otherwise interested and open to converse with all intelligent Masters, Mistresses, Dominants, Domme's, slavegirls, femsub's and boys. jirah's lifestyle looks down upon men who have given up their freedom, since men by birthright are born Master's. If you are truly true to yourself and this is your nature, she will make no further judgements. Am not interested in role playing, players, or fakes.
Am willing to help anyone who is sincere with their questions and honest in wanting to learn as long as time and availability permits her.
"nuff said"
girl needs to beg for a good rough spankin', she knows she needs it and probably deserves it, but...
she's too chicken, see---> Bawk! Bawk!
(already grabs her ass just in thought, whimpers)
Did she mention she loves to bite? she's such a cock cannibal... (knows ya'll are in deep thought now)
Knowing jirah is an adventure in itself!
Trust her in this...
... she won't blow your drawers, but she'll undoubtably blow your mind!
~laughs softly
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Dangling on the edge of no return...
My Master caught me when I fell yesterday, when I hit rock bottom, he brought me up and lifted my chin high. He restrained me after I tore a doctor's office apart in pain and tears and he understood why as his own life, our childrens lives, even our young grandsons life has also been affected by my own continuous deterioration. He wrapped his arms around me as I felt I was a bad reflection on him. He was not displeased with me.
While my actions were unbecoming a slave girl.. they were justified.
The doctor, a QME, appointed by WC defense, broke my spirit and stole all my hope.
It's too late to save my life, but it wasn't too late to show what they have done to me, what they've made me along the way... a fighter!
~lowers dark blackwine colored eyes
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"A woman can only respect a man who can reduce her to utter defeat" ~Nomads |
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"When you come to the edge of all that you know, you must believe in one of two things... There will be earth upon which to stand or you will be given wings to fly."
kajirah's mind in mellow, pain is moderately controlled at the moment. She's been reflecting on yesterday and wondering about tomorrow. The presence is worrisome.
Perhaps in time she'll share the reasons why. Slave girls are to always remain pleasing and not make excuses for their errors, but accept and learn by them. To reveal may seem to seek pity or cause some to become soft on her, she doesn't need soft, she needs strength. She needs compassion, a bit of patience and understanding, but not special treatment.
She accepts discipline, correction and direction.
She visited Gor/Black Tarn last night. She danced when commanded to do so. she was nervous, her belly fluttered as she sat with legs wrapped around her laptop. Her fingers shook, the emotions were real as they always are whether serving online or even off.
She let out a sigh of relief when she was praised for being pleasing. Isn't praise what we all strive for? ~smiles warmly
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Life is a bit too complicated to go into. Perhaps as time moves forward so will my fingers to reveal some of it.
My Master(s) treat me well.
It's oneself who's dangling in the no-no zone.
A common state of being.
Live it or leave it and leaving it is another subject entirely.
hm
Am a strong girl.. and will hang on as long as she can. ~smiles
Just hope someone is there to catch me when I fall.
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Am not having a good day, infact, slept nearly all of it away.
I'm reminded that not nearly enough people accept the consequences for their actions and rather shift the blame to others without regard to how it makes others feel or even thinking about how it makes themselves look in the long run. Pretty pathetic and untrustworthy to say the least.
It's easier to look past the truth than it is to acknowledge it. It's easier to toss away worth than it is to hold onto it.
.. But ultimately you never know what you've got or what you had until it's gone. ... And sometimes it's gone forever. |
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5.6-7 moderate earth quake 7 miles east of Milpidas near San Jose! The Bay Area of California.
The quake occurred at approximately 8:00 pm Tuesday, October 30th, lasting 20-25 seconds.
It's 8:39 p.m now |
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Turned 39- 4 days ago.
She just loves the Sac 6 Drive-In movies!
~smiles |
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Praying endlessly for the Southern part of her State! |
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Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone. ~Morrie Schwartz |
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The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire! ~Ferdinand Foch |
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Back online after having been away nearly 6 weeks. Have lots of catching up to do.
Where to start.... |
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Moving and will be offline for an undetermined amount of time. Will answer messages upon return.
Please be as well as you can be.
~kajirah/ella
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She hasn't been back in chat since her previous entry. Have been very busy and in the process of making several changes. Pain keeps her at a distance from people. Sometimes she wonders why she does it, or lets it happen, but really deep down inside she knows. In addition to the changes that are about to occur, she's spent the bit of free time she has collected up to important projects. One of the Groups that she leads (my Master let me have them) continues to make great progress as does the website and it's mirror site of the same name(s).
Off to play with herself now...
~winks playfully |
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Last night was her second visit to CollarMe Chat. Per the invitation of 2 relatively close long time free men she trusts, she entered Gor/Black-Tarn Inn. While learning the unfamiliar environment, she was granted permission to observe by the room owner. She did greet and take part in conversation as allowed. She is happy to be afforded this opportunity to meet people again. While she was once the first girl of GCI (Golden Collar Inn) a long standing Yahoo and GCN room of several years, and was privilaged with both the _GC(I) collar and the personal collar of it's owner _J, Master Jaguarous, in early June of 2006, over two years later it came to an abrupt halt. She stepped back, eyes wide open yet blindly at the exact same time and eventually crawled away. A mess was yet to come.
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Nothing ventured, nothing gained. A diversion to survival. Perhaps a place to meet new people or cross paths with memories of old. Do we ever know with precise certainty what tomorrow will bring? |
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| Age: 19 |
| Rockisland,
Illinois |
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