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SteamPhyst's Journals

Journal Entries by SteamPhyst:
3/26/2015 12:10:40 PM
Damn, what is it with Russian Cindy?  She is admiring my profile every other day

6/21/2014 8:37:25 PM
There once was a guy who pretended to be a lesbian woman online, and he attracted anther male pretending to be a lesbian.  They fell in love and lived online happily ever after

6/12/2013 1:13:40 PM

21 year old Doms and Dommes, with five years experience, really?  What, did you take a class in high school?


8/19/2012 1:00:58 AM
I'll take a book whore over a mindless greedy cunt every day of the week.

8/11/2012 3:28:44 AM

Instead of wasting energy complaining about the quality of the users on CM, why not raise the bar by being positive, authentic and striving to stand out instead?


8/1/2012 2:14:41 AM

The Truth is the only thing you never have to be afraid of.


7/30/2012 2:00:08 AM

Its a Spiritual Appreciation, not a Sexual Fetish.  Or, Why Feet are My Thing

 

Some of the things I miss most from my first life are directly related to my feet.  Hot dry sand on a midsummer day or fresh mowed grass, playing footsies or toe wrestling, running cross country in high school because it was one of the only times where it was safe for my mind to race freely once the body fell into its rhythmic groove.  I also did a lot of back country hiking/camping and would love the way my feet ached at the end of the trip, in some masochistic part of my brain.  Feet in motion, going, doing...  Wear and tear, use and abuse. 

 

How amazing is the foot?  Have you ever taken a moment to consider the hundreds, thousands of miles your feet travel through the course of a lifetime?  How much force; pounds per square inch, do the soles of your feet endure on a daily basis?  Take a minute and think about it, I'll wait...  The stories a foot can tell, the burdens carried, calloused and scared, sometimes sore.  Palm reading in one thing, I'm more of a foot reader.

 

Since the age of nineteen, my feet have skimmed three inches above the earth, securely held aloft by the footplate of my wheelchair.  I was injured in an auto wreck back in '85 and received a T-5 spinal cord injury, resulting in no controlled movement or sensation from the fifth thoracic vertebrae down (layman's terms: right about my nipple line)  And while my hands have taken on an unexpected, brilliant life of their own, the price was watching my legs and feet atrophy and whither.

 

Early into my chair, within the first few years, I noticed a change in my hands.  I mean aside from the usual building up calluses and extreme dislike for dog shit and gum on the sidewalks in summer, which always ends up on said hands.  As my hands grew stronger, my legs started thinning as they lost tone, it was as if an energy shift was taking place.  A transfer of what?  Call it Mana if you will, as if all sensation left my lower extremities and doubled up in my hands.  It started migrating twenty seven years ago and grows stronger every day, these hands have developed an almost shaman like healing power. ~ There you have it, back-story.

 

I love feet!  I miss mine and live vicariously through the feet of others.  Body laid on the couch, calves resting on the arm and feet dangling over my lap as I sit beside.  Taking foot in hand, touching, exploring, flexing and stretching, begin to know the foot and get to a place where I can fully listen and return.  Give to me your aching arches and leather thick soles, show me your barefoot hippy feet and barking dogs of the real working man, let me prove to you what I mean.

 

This energy I speak of, coming to my hands via my legs, is circular and recharges only when I use it.  To sit down with a pair of feet, getting acquainted, checking on tender areas or other Pedi-issues, and then falling into a comfortable flow.  Feeling the foot starting to relax, picking up the light whimpers and moans from the far end of the couch as knowing fingers find stress and tension, mixed with pains of the day.  Fifteen minutes a foot and you are so toast.  No charge, my gift, however there is a tip jar by the door

 

And this is what it really comes down to for me.  My feet don't tread, my tires do, this is my opportunity to make a small footprint beside my already monumental tire track.

 

 

 

*disclaimer, working draft posted, will edit when more than half awake, I wanted to put it out there

 

 


6/19/2012 1:56:19 PM

Extra Ticket, Roger Waters The Wall at Fenway, July 1


1/22/2012 6:34:07 PM

I've always thought the greatest name for a dog would be Bumper Sticker. Then every time we went for a walk, it would be kind of like tempting fate...


1/21/2012 2:59:12 PM

After reading countless journal entries, discussing the rude, hateful, sometimes downright distasteful emails some of the women around here have received, I wonder...  And I find myself fighting the urge to create a 'female sub' profile so I don't feel like I'm missing out on all this special kinda pathetic entertainment.

 

Then I open up a can of Do Right, and the moment passes.


1/4/2012 3:04:17 PM

I find myself missing the barbs and jabs that come with a good round of intelligent verbal banter


12/26/2011 2:54:10 AM

As 2011 comes to a close I look back at the growth and struggles over the year, always cognizant that it was a dream of something better that carried me through the darkest months.  The year ends with me sitting happily in Better, looking forward to building on it in 2012.  Waiting is filled!


12/24/2011 12:48:22 PM

I like when a football player offers a hand to an opposing player on the ground after a big play.  Good Football!


12/24/2011 12:45:28 PM

It makes me smile when a football player offers a hand to an opposing player on the ground after a big play.  Good Football!


12/22/2011 7:33:49 PM

Some baked Mac & Cheese between two slices of bread, now that is a Sandwich!


12/1/2011 12:33:09 PM

I think the senseless debate of 'seat up' or 'seat down' should be put to rest once and for all.  Keep the damn lid closed, no one wants to see the bowl anyways.


11/22/2011 6:41:24 PM

The increase of cute animal pictures and stupid captions in 'txt speak,' with no regard for grammar, makes me wonder if we aren't witnessing the decline of a once great and intelligent civilization.


11/20/2011 11:31:50 AM

We are all a little weird, and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it Love ~ Dr. Seuss


11/16/2011 1:00:10 AM

Just saw 'Eating Raoul' for the first time since it was released in 1982, OMG!  Too damn funny, Doris the Dominatrix...


11/10/2011 1:41:14 PM

*Feels the Monster stir within, checks the Lunar Calender*  Coincidence I'm sure


11/8/2011 8:43:05 PM

Confident, Happy and at Peace...


10/31/2011 12:44:03 PM

Truth & Nail Polish

 

                Having been a wheelchair user for the last many years, I have a special fondness and appreciation for my hands.  They mean mobility, are the outlet for my creative energy, independence and my life.  I thank the Universe on a daily basis for them, and having friends with limited use of their hands, only feeds my gratitude.

 

                I remember when I was newly injured and in the hospital, having a conversation with my roommate, who was a quad.  At the time I was struggling with a form of survivors guilt, having become such good friends with him and witnessed his struggle to adapt to life without fine motor skills in his hands.  I told him at times I felt uncomfortable having full use of my hands when I saw what he goes through.

 

                He replied, "Shit, I thank God for you and your hands.  Do you realize all the things you do for me during the course of a day?  Fuck, two quads in this room would be worse than two bulls in a china shop."

 

                I never felt guilt over my hands from that moment on.

 

                And as most people tend to develop a walk, or stride, over the years I fell into a groove and found my stroll in a wheelchair.  'When one must do, one does with grace', has somewhat become my mantra, and rolling through life has transformed into a dance of sorts, with my hands having a lot of flair. 

 

                The hand, what an incredible appendage, four fingers and a thumb, how cool is that thumb?  The one digit that separates us from all other species of animal life, our opposable thumb.  I love my thumbs!

 

                And it was in this spirit, to celebrate my hands that I recently have taken to painting my thumb nails.  So far I have collected three wonderful colors.  The first is a pearl blend of a greenish/blue, depending on how the light hits it, the second was a neat gunmetal and then my favorite, a bright purple that pops off the nail.  That color always draws comments during  transactions with cashiers.

 

                I don't think I was expecting so many comments and questions as I have received.  And when asked, "What's up with the nail polish?", I'd reply along the lines how wonderful the hand is and this was my way of showing my appreciation for it, which was then met with a look of puzzlement or disbelief.

 

                And then I remembered something I had read.  In Cannery Row, Mr. Steinbeck writes of Doc - A man with a beard is always a little suspect anyway.  You couldn't say you wore a beard because you liked a beard.  People didn't like you for telling the truth.  You had to say you had a scar and couldn't shave.  Once when Doc was at the University of Chicago he had love trouble and he had worked too hard.  He thought it would be nice to take a long walk.  He put on a knapsack and walked through Indiana and Kentucky and North Carolina and Georgia clear to Florida.  He walked among farmers and mountain people, among the swamp people and the fishermen.  And everywhere people asked him why he was walking through the country.

 

                Because he loved true things, he tried to explain.  He said he was nervous and besides he wanted to see the country, smell the ground and look at the grass and birds and trees, to savor the country, and there was no other way to do that save on foot.  And people didn't like him for telling the truth.  They scowled, or shook and tapped their heads, they laughed as though they knew it was a lie and they appreciated a liar.  And some, afraid for their daughters or their pigs, told him to move on, to get going, just not to stop near their place if he knew what was good for him.

 

                And so he stopped trying to tell the truth.  He said he was doing it on a bet - that he stood to win a hundred dollars.  Everyone liked him then and believed him.  They asked him in to dinner and gave him a bed and they put lunches up for him and wished him good luck and thought he was a hell of a fine fellow.  Doc still loved true things but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress.

 

                And thanks to Doc, sometimes; as much as I love true things, the best answer to give is, "My PCA's four year old daughter painted my thumbs."


10/26/2011 1:08:33 PM

Life is Good


10/21/2011 8:50:18 PM

Anticipation builds...


10/8/2011 12:00:32 AM

It's the journey, not the destination.  And I'm planning on taking many stops along the way...


10/7/2011 9:06:53 PM

Is there a politically correct way, in the vanilla dating world, to ask woman how well she takes a punch?  I'm thinking not.


9/28/2011 5:46:20 PM

Time to turn the page, pick up the pen and start writing the next chapter.


9/26/2011 9:28:20 AM

Skin on Skin by the The Boomtown Rats 

 

Skin on Skin - Nothing more or less than
Skin on skin - I want to lick the sweat off
Skin on skin - But don't talk to me about right or wrong

Skin on skin - I want to cut in deep in
Skin on skin - I need to sink my teeth in
Skin on skin - But don't talk to me about right or wrong

Skin on skin - I want to crush your mouth
And skin on skin - I want to bruise your lips
Tell me what do you know about right or wrong

Skin on skin - I want to scratch your flesh
And skin on skin - I need to scrape the bones of
Skin on skin - You can't teach me a thing about right or wrong

London stops
And everything's sweet
You look out of your window
But there's no street
The cars are gone
The night is dead
And the dogs have lost their growl
And the air seems stale
Cos the lions caged
It whimpers low
but the beast has been tamed
So where's the riot
It's much too quiet
And my breath taste like
Rotten feet
There's chatter from my window
But it seems so dead
And there's no one talking
But some talking heads
Yes, tonight we go to sleep
With the lullaby sound of buildings falling down

Hey d'ya hear the scratch of skin on skin
Hey d'ya feel the scrape of bone on bone

Things get tight, close to the bone
We feel fragile tonight
We don't like us much
But we can stay warm at least for an hour or two

Skin on skin -I need to scratch and bleed it
Skin on skin - Just the touch and feel of
Skin on skin - We don't talk anymore about right or wrong

Skin on skin - I want to smell the stink of
Skin on skin - Hot in the summer heat and
Skin on skin - I never open my mouth about right or wrong


9/25/2011 6:24:00 PM

Using the formula: First dog's name, street you grew up on, my porn name would be: Alphie Bliss


9/23/2011 7:13:22 PM

Do you ask for Honesty, yet cover your ears when someone speaks their Truth?


9/16/2011 6:06:40 PM

After the hurt wears off, it's all good...


9/13/2011 9:44:04 PM

For as long as I can remember, the way a person kisses has always held a place of high esteem on My list of wants.  It was almost to the point of being a hard limit, but I wasn't able to put all of the pieces together in My own head in order to grok the Kiss, and explain the reasoning behind it.  Meanwhile I'd settle without the Kiss for a while, eventually kissing sometimes seems like a chore.  Then I return back to miserable and longing for more.  What am I actually seeking on the far side of that kiss?  Once I know what I'm looking for I might realize what it means.

 

Doggy style, or kitty cat style (similar to doggy only with much more biting and scratching) can be great at times, however I have recognized a pattern.  If she doesn't have the Kiss, this becomes My comfortable position.  Constantly mounting her from behind, shoving her face into the pillow, thrusting My body against her back or taking her with My fingers, all the while biting the back, neck and shoulders.  Why?  So I don't have to kiss her.

 

The kiss is many things, however there are a few things it is not.  It is not flat, lifeless, or lame.  The kiss is inquisitive, playful, gentle, knowing.  probing, rhythmic, distant, hungry, lustful, brutal, sometimes violent.   It is authentic, evolving,  hypnotic and intense.  Eventually it takes on a force of its own and from there the possibilities are limitless.

 

Face to face, mouth to mouth, feeling, smelling and tasting each other's breathe, the whispering secret words.  Eye to eye.  And there it is!  Without the kiss there is no possibility for face to face connection, and eye contact.  And without that visual lock, witnessing  the experience while looking deep into the eyes of a partner, a spiritual connection is missed.  As I gaze into your eyes, I want to make sure you know I am there with you one hundred percent, can you see it in My eyes?  It becomes almost a soulful bond.  With the Kiss, it is "growing closer", without it, it is just sex.

 

The lesson here is: If she doesn't have the Kiss, keep searching.  I can't bring her where I want to go.


9/13/2011 9:04:50 PM

Buying Me a present when you've misbehaved is a waste of money, in My opinion.


9/7/2011 9:20:55 AM

Have Y/you ever really paused to appreciate how far the mind can wander, during the brief eternity of a four minute song? 


9/6/2011 9:38:16 PM

I think many people forget sex is mostly mental, too busy thinking with peni or clitori


9/5/2011 10:29:08 PM

At least I won't have to touch that damn age ticker for another year


9/5/2011 12:23:39 PM

Why be so hard on yourself when you can find a Sadist for that.


9/2/2011 7:53:53 AM

Nothing is so strong as gentleness and nothing is so gentle as real strength - Ralph W. Sockman


9/2/2011 12:36:45 AM

Spent the past few days getting new pictures and mixed them in.  Hurricane Irene (#7) and for snickers & chuckles, how may snakes can you see in #11?

 

 


8/29/2011 11:25:52 PM

Common sense can't be faked


8/27/2011 12:03:52 AM

I make it a point to sit and think a few times a week, some might call it meditation, others spacing out.  However you look at it, it helps to keep me sane.  Over the past few weeks, in my head has been a nice place to be, kinda comfy in here.


8/24/2011 8:19:21 PM

A good haiku is like a cane strike, short, sharp, leaves a lasting impression when finished


8/19/2011 2:23:01 PM

Just because someone doesn't approve of my way of doing something doesn't make it wrong.


8/14/2011 5:04:18 PM

Is 1950's Household really just secret code for "Yeah, I don't have to get a job"?


8/8/2011 7:08:43 PM

This evening I went to my local (insert favorite chain name here) convenience store to trade in some singles for a five, since they like them more than I do.  I'm in line at the right hand register where a customer ahead of me is cashing in a winning lottery ticket, so I tell the cashier I have bills for her and not to close the drawer.  The lucky man receives his money, pockets the booty and walks out the door as I hear another man asking the other cashier, "Are you a natural blonde?"

 

She ignored his tacky remark, handed him his change and concluded the transaction with a smile and, "Have a good evening." 

 

He walked to the door and asked her again, "Well are you?"

 

She looked my direction, our eyes met, we shared that knowing glance.  Yes, this really was happening right before us.  And some people have the gall call themselves adults.

 

Cynthia tactfully replied, "I'm whatever you think I am."  To which he sniveled something about not being an answer.

 

At which point I had no choice but to step in and with my "dispatch" voice said, "I think that is all the information she is willing to give you at this point."

 

Holding the door open while air conditioning the outside he pouted, "But I want to know", then he  turned to me, and oblivious that I'm on the side of respect and manners , continued with, "Don't you want to know?"

 

I've had enough by this point, as I'm she had too, to which I said, "That is none of your business and right now the best thing for you to do is to leave the store and continue your evening elsewhere."

 

Prior to my entering , (I later found out) the cashiers had been discussing store nick names and Cynthia hasn't been there long enough to get one, to which the fore-mentioned  customer had tossed out one failure of an idea before suggesting "Blondie ".  This is about where I roll onto the scene.

 

Are there really that many uncouth  assholes out there?


8/7/2011 9:04:48 PM

Soulmate - The one who challenges you, in all ways.


8/3/2011 7:47:48 PM

I don't believe in marriage, I think it takes a village or a nest. 


7/31/2011 10:07:16 PM

I've realized something about Myself this weekend.  While I have always been fascinated and appreciate the human body and amazed by the variety, I have always been personally attracted to women with some meat on their bones over skinny ones. 

 

I have been spending a lot of time with a female friend who is going through a very difficult time.  Right now at this point in her life she needs a friend more than anything else.  She is very athletic and in great shape for being 39 yrs old and having had three kids.  She is always getting approached by guys and I even had one guy give Me the "thumbs up" because he assumed I was tapping that ass.  I have to say, on many levels I wish I was too.

 

 And the funny thing is while I find her visually exciting, when we hug or cuddle, nothing.  She is too skinny for Me.  Reminds Me of a saying I heard years ago when you see a tall skinny woman.  "That one's built for speed, not comfort."  Yeah, I like My comfort. 

 

So I guess it is official, I do have a type.  Being in a chair, I like short women.  Nice to look at near eye level while hugs and other forms of physical affection aren't as awkward as with taller people.  And the contrast between My 6'3" in bed can be fun too.  So around 5 feet is good, +/- three or four inches.  Of course the search engine doesn't help, Max weight and max distance, min hight.  Some good that does Me. 

 

Short & curvy, My new It girl.  Are you out there?


7/31/2011 7:57:44 PM

Well, it has been over three months since my last cigarette, I say that makes me an official non-smoker.


7/28/2011 11:39:33 PM

Are Yyou ready for some Football?


7/26/2011 12:41:26 AM

When My mind is racing & My body is tired; My mind almost always wins


7/25/2011 10:10:37 PM

Are there any W/waterbrothers out there?


7/21/2011 10:54:53 PM

This evenings adventure was a cross between a treasure hunt and my version of the stimulus program.  I have a large jar of old silver quarters that have been in my family for years.  No high value coins, mostly early 60s and older worn ones with barely legible dates.  My serious coins reside in a more secure location.  So I grabbed a few dollars worth and headed down to the corner market with the intent of getting them back into circulation.  Bills come out of the drawers, quarters go into the drawer along with a few extra pieces of silver to the cashier for carrying out My simple instructions.  Give these quarters out as change and no customer receives more than one.  He then played with his stipend, commenting how his father jingled change in his pocket when he was a kid.  How different the coins sounded when there was silver in the mix, that unmistakable high pitch "tink". 

 

Tonight four different people eventually are going to "hear" those quarters,  realize what they have and experience a better than normal moment.  "Better than Normal" sounds like a good place to be.  And I don't need to see this to get My joy, knowing is enough. 


7/19/2011 1:04:32 PM

I have gotten the biggest kick from the emails subs have posted from "doms".  Some of them are outright hysterical. 

 

And in that spirit, on a possitive note is this opening line I recently received in an email. 

 

"My mind wants to get fucked by you." 

 

I can't even begin to express how refereshing that was.  Physical attraction is one thing, I'm holding out for My other brain...  And once in a while I find proof she might be out there.


7/12/2011 7:52:35 PM

You don't need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.


7/1/2011 10:26:58 PM

Sun warms the land as woodland critters start to venture from the nests.  This morning's offering at the foot of My ramp was a baby bird, last week it was a rabbit.  There are few acts as devoted and personal as a cat presenting its kill to his/her chosen Human.  These silly "tributes" I read about in some profiles crack me up.  you want to prove your worth to Me, bring Me a squirrel.


6/22/2011 12:48:47 PM

Looking to find S/someone with some photoshop expereice to help me with a silly side project I have tumbling around in My head.  This is an unpaid gig, I can however offer an opportunity to get in-touch with Y/your "inner creative" and help another human being with something near and dear.

 

 

 

I look forward to hearing back from the right person.


6/13/2011 9:49:51 PM

Someone once told Me that My use of "Please" & "Thank you" was being submissive.  I just stopped to make sure I heard that right and break down what he was really saying.  Manners and respect are a submissive characteristic?   REALLY?!  So that would mean a Dominant should be rude and demanding?  Well, that does seem to be the case for some of the profiles here, doesn't it.  I guess that makes me one of those silly Gentleman Doms.


6/9/2011 11:42:06 PM

Don't confuse mind blowing sex for love


6/6/2011 10:29:24 PM

The evening hours seem to be the hardest.  Still going strong, now working on week four tobacco free. 


6/3/2011 8:48:10 AM

Nothing is so strong as gentleness and nothing is so gentle as real strength - Ralph W Sockman


    

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