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i am a GWM sub with a newly discovered streak of alpha. not looking for anything entirely serious from a relationship perspective. looking to expand my experience at being a sub with someone who is dominate, stern, grounded while at the same time patient, caring and compassionate.
looking for an experienced Master/Mentor/Teacher to broaden my horizons and make me the best sub i can be. i am not looking for someone that is abusive and who has complete disregard for aftercare. i need this person to be relatively local and i am not looking to relocate. if something more serious were to develop i wouldn't necessarily oppose it but that is not my intention at this point.
interests:
bondage
submission
humiliation
mansmells
short term chastity
TT
CBT
watersports
sensory deprivation
spanking
paddling
flogging
throating
sounding
heavy ass play
fisting (top)
wax play
curious about:
ball stretching
breath control
fisting (bottom)
hard limits:
no animals
no children
no women
no blood
no permanent marks
no breaking of the skin
--baptism of conscience--
there is an ache within my spirit,
deep down in the depths of my soul.
i can feel it run down my spine,
and well up through my being,
exiting as pools of tears.
this is not sadness so much as a need,
a longing, a cry for release.
my soul needs to be set free.
not in death, but in surrender.
the only relief i can get from this war inside of me,
is of a superficial nature that leaves me longing for more.
it is only a band-aid,
a way to get through one more moment of agony.
it is all i have. it is my only escape.
my spirit feels as if it is being tortured.
these ostensible encounters give me only a glimpse,
a mere taste of relief that leaves me thirsty for more.
i liken these feelings to those of a cutter,
lacerating their flesh for release.
the difference being i’m not in the throws of melancholia,
but i imagine the feeling must be much the same.
i want so badly to surrender, to submit,
and have my soul transcend my body,
to float just above the surface,
to co-exist with my physical self on a heightened plane.
though i am not a religious person,
i long for this religious experience.
this baptism of my conscience.
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