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9/26/14 -- UPDATE
I am an AMAZINGLY creative, enigmatic, complex critter. Not a Hawt mess or a beautiful mess or even a mess at all I am just me..and THAT IS TRULY AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL !! Some people refer to me as "badass." I prefer "yoda with a twist."
I identify as a poly-hearted (polyamorous) sadistic masochist however, I don't engage for the sake of just giving or receiving pain, and while I love many, I do not NEED relationships with many to experience joy, happiness or feel fulfilled ...just like I don't (despite my nympho-ish tendencies) fuck, suck, sweat (some of my favorite things) n swing from the ceiling fan for the sake of doing so. EVERYTHING I do is an intricate dance of spirit, flesh, n soul between myself and whoever I am with, ebbing and flowing with rhythm and energy, shared within and without, with a language all it's own and if you and I don't speak the same language, no magic...no dance.
I also identify as a being of leather, having answered the call of my slaveheart over 20 years ago. This is my life, not a cozy robe I can take on and off to suit the needs and comfort levels of others. PURE FORM, THIS IS ME, OEM AND DIRECT FROM THE MANUFACTURER.
I am quiet & introverted. I am mistaken as meek n shy. Not so.
I have many friends and acquaintances, cosmically blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends, many of which are my chosen family. They "see" me as I am, accept my imperfect perfection and flaws as is, and I find myself in a constant state of humility as a result. MY intent and hope is that I somehow add to, enrich, and positively contribute to their lives as much as they do mine.
I am excruciatingly self aware, choosing to to live consciously and fully present in the now, THIS MOMENT. The past no longer is, the future doesn't exist, leaving this very moment.
That aside...I am an emotional critter tho not drama. I have discovered an allergy to drama, and handle it like I do my other allergies: I medicate or I stay away from them.
I am more observant than I seem, far more loving and affectionate than I appear, and far more intelligent than I let on.
BEYOND that...if you really want to know more, ask.
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I am a little bit on the "wu" side of things. This is a term that refers to the collective spiritual/metaphysical path some embrace and travel. I am a "tree hugging drood."
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I am evolving and working on myself. I am me. I fail... a lot. I succeed...most of the time. No matter what, I keep breathing, knowing I am perfectly imperfect and that I AM FLAWED. I no longer judge myself and no longer place any value or believe others' judgments of me. Those precious few who truly matter to me, well...their opinions, if I agree with them, matter to me in the vein of growth, love, and harmony. Beyond that, everyone is entitled to their perspective. Just remember your reality isn't mine. We are but characters in one another's lives and like the role our characters play, we evolve, change, and grow according to the story of the originator. Nothing more, unless our stories overlap...then for just that moment, we become one. That moment could be a blink or it could be oceans of lifetimes. It is what it is and will be what it is meant to be according to Universal design and guidance.
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Having witnessed death and experienced my own type of death, I do my best to embrace and live my life moment to moment, releasing attachments and those lacking honor and integrity who dismiss the value and power in the word. I do not do well with lies (i.e. illusion) or deception, mine or others. I don't play games. I am a poly woman (though if that alpha male�comes into my orbit and rocks my universe, that could change)�and currentlydo not subscribe to monogamy in any form outside of sexual monogamy (and that is a safety thing and a commitment thing primarily). I accept people as they are and relationships that feed my soul. For me, there IS NO moment beyond THIS moment until that moment comes to me. Deal with it and do not vomit your dogma all over my karma. Thank you.
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I answered the call to Leather and my slaveheart 20 years ago. I am perfectly flawed...a Goddess, weather worn (in heart, spirit, and soul). After 5 years with my primary and Daddy, he chose a different path for his family, him and I. This is not a path I chose for myself or our children, and definitely did not consent to. Though...I am doing my best to keep breathing and have finally reached the point where I am ready to entertain the idea of having someone else in my life as a partner and possibly a�guiding force through D/s and possibly M/s dynamics.
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It takes a special kind of man to move the slave within me and capture my attention. NOT MANY MEN POSSESS THE HEART AND ABILITY TO DO SO.
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Now...my personality is, in a word, enigmatic. I am all things manifest into one. I am the Light that heals and calms as much as I am the Darkness where deepest fears dwell...mine and yours. I am that which creates and destroys sometimes simultaneously. I am the ALL that is ME in this moment in all my forms. Love it or leave it. I don't care.
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I am not easy though I am more than worth the effort. I am not here for base casual kink or sex. I need my kink and Leather sexy. I don't need my sex kinky. It is sacred. It is art. It is being. It just is and doesn't require being anything other than what it is. I am constantly reminded of the importance of just "BEING TRUE TO SELF AND UNIVERSE" every moment. I strive every moment to be, do, and embrace the all that is me and the all that is Universe. I serve it...it and I serve me. It is a beautiful relationship.
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I am an interesting blend of sadist and masochist.
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I am a Leatherwoman. I can be staunch, brusk, stoic, and intimidating for those who do not know my heart and soul. Pure form... This is me. Direct from the manufacturer. I no longer care if anyone likes it or me. I know me. I like me. I love me. Those who really know my heart and soul... they dig me, too.
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I am really intelligent, which equates me being a social retard on top of being a nerd.. I know how to have fun and am a fun person to be around (or so I have been told); however, my fun is different. Seldom do I find my fun, joy, bliss and happiness in the ridiculous or silly unless they are seriously ridiculous and seriously silly. Generally my flavor of fun doesnt involve drawing attention to myself or being frilly, fickle, flitty or generally bouncy like Tigger on crack. When something or someone captures my attention, I will generally get low, sit on my heels and intensely watch that which has captured my attention. Or... I will tap my finger tips together like Mr. Burns does on The Simpsons.
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I am quiet and introverted. I watch and observe and am generally reserved until I feel comfortable and safe. I tend to keep people at arms length until I feel safe and secure with them. I am a bit elusive and vague then once comfort brings me out of my shell, my communication skills come to the surface and become apparent. I have a tendency to let my immense intellect run amuck when I am uncomfortable. It seems I obfuscate though many people disagree and tell me I am normally straight forward and direct. I strive for transparency with purpose and intent to come from a place of compassion for myself and others in the direction of Truth and Love. Hiding and clouding myself, my words...not something I do with intent, purpose, or malice, nor am I aware that I do this. I AM FLAWED AND WORKING ACTIVELY ON MY SHIT. You choose for yourself, based on your own belief system and agreements, whether or not you want to know me.
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Occasionally I can be found sharing wisdom and experience with others, mentoring and educating in a quiet, inobtrusive way.
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I am grateful for all I have experienced, acquired, learned, shared, and received. I treasure and adore, cherish and admire the beings I am privileged to love. I really do "dig" my life as much as I dig myself. It's a beautiful ride. Painful as it is, it is also exquisitely and perfectly beautiful nonetheless.
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Ask questions. It is good form and will prevent assumptions.
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I also like to transition from itty bitty boxes and typing to real life interaction fairly steadily. So hit me up with questions or conversation. I don't bite unless asked.
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�I really DO my best to portray myself in as accurate and authentically a light as I am able to. I do my best to not project myself as something I am not here or in person.
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Truth is in the experience and experience is real.
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I tend to be fierce when it comes to the people I love and will defend and protect to my last breath in this skinsuit.
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Namaste
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Carpe omnia singula puncta temporis
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I find my joy, bliss, and happiness in every moment of living an authentic and aligned version of me.
I havehave evolved back into living in truth, honesty, integrity, loyalty, gratitude, abundance, and Dominion.
I am ridiculously loyal and fiercely protective of those I love, cherish, and adore. I can be as intense as I am playful.
I teach/mentor someone on something everyday. Sometimes my cup runneth over about what I do and for how many, which is really something i am oblivious to. Others have to ask me or tell me: "do you know what you do for so many?" Or... "you really don't know what you do for so many, do you?" My answer is either just a nod or a "thank you" or "No, i don't. I dont know that i do anything for people."
Folks, I am just me, doing what i do. I don't consider myself special or "all that n a sack of chips." I am both light and dark, creation and destruction. That's just me. I just am.
Expanding the horizons of perversity for over 20 years, and to "borrow" from my leather sister, scylla "Sitting on the face of perversity" for just as long, if not longer first hedonistic/kinky memory was at 5 years of age.
I am also here for education, both yours and mine. I love to learn as well as teach. I have a vast skill set and even more diverse set of gifts, passions, and talents. I am well versed in spirituality, human sexuality, kink, leather, LGBT, and poly dynamics. My true passion lies in sexuality, poly, D/s, and M/S dynamics, specifically. Mostly I am here to have fun and truly enjoy the bliss of my human experience.
OKAY...OKAY...SO...ABOUT ME and my SKILL SET/PASSIONS:
- LEATHERWOMAN
- TOLTEC
- Decent Top.
- I also have a little...she is 16. Her name is Ana and she prolly won't come to the surface unless she's called.
- witchy, yes...Wiccan, no. Much more ancient craft practice do i (think yoda with a twist).
- Sanguinarian
- Moderately attractive and sexy (so I've been told...not sure I buy into that, though if it works for you, rock on!)
- Imaginative and creative, artsy-fartsy stuff and everything is my medium-i REFUSE to limit my potential
- Plant nerd...kinda earthy...ask around.
- I am a sadist - came from the manufacturer this way. (For the record: more sadist than dominant/switch...inherently submissive).
- I am a masochist, though not a pig about it-again direct from manufacturer.
- I am really intellligent, if you take the time to get to know me.- I am quiet and introverted - not a butterfly...more like a panther.
- LOVE, LOVE, LOVE...ANYTHING THAT BRINGS OUT "OUCH!!"- Magick (snappy, crackly, poppy goodness...goosebumps, people...geez)
- Artistic Cutting
- knives
- bastinado
-caning
- flogging
- impact (learned from the man I consider the best at the why of impactt)
-fire
- needles
- mummification
- torture, torment, biting (primal animalistic stuff)
- Sensory Deprivation
- Wax- Singletails n whips- Energy- Trust- Protocol and EtiquetteI rarely take the time to plan out a scene ahead of time. I'm the type (if we know one another) where negotiation goes a lil something like this: "Wanna?" Bottom: nods and finds a space. Foreplay, however, begins with "hello," and my scenes start from there, too, so...the wind up and mindfuckery is always an adventure before the adventure, in my opinion.I love a good conversation. However, before I get too far along in talking about myself, or perhaps I've already said far too much, I should mention I am not here to play games. Every relationship dynamic I have is a negotiation from the moment we say "hello."I will teach you how to treat me and you will teach me how to treat you. Don't be a coward...speak up for yourself and speak your truth to me. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. I'LL LET YOU KNOW IF WHAT YOU ARE ASKING FOR IS TOO MUCH.Let's face it...everything we have we create with our intention, so why not set your intention in creating dynamics that are multi-layered and colored with vivid hues of brights and bolds that meld and merge in the joys of the adventure that is this human experience? I ask that you do both you and I a favor: take an active role in setting your intent then negotiating the creation and manifestation of that intent with the people you truly genuinely groove on and with.That all aside, ask questions, vet me out. I have been around the community a lil bit. It's proper protocol and excellent form. Then...ask me to play if, and only if, you feel warm fuzzies about me.Have fun and enjoy the adventure of life! |
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Wants, wishes, desires and needs.
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I want you as you are, as you will be, in all your forms...moment to moment... Without either of us feeling the need to change one another to suit someone else's needs.
I want family, support, to feel protected, defended, held up, cherished, adored, treasured, valued, appreciated- to ride into battle with you, not have you do it for me.
To serve and protect you fiercely as you will and do me - to love you openly, rawly, passionately, vulnerable as you will and do me...
To have the structure, support, transparency and honesty in place to openly and honestly express ourselves from a place of compassion in the direction of Truth and LOVE. no bullshit, no drama, no incongruence, with intent aligned with thought, feeling, word and action.
No promises, commitments, obligations, or responsibility (holding one another responsible for individual happiness)...until that bridge appears before us to cross.
I want the strength and formidibilty between us to go "do" our individual things and come back together, wrap around one another and "do" our thing...and "do" family things.
I want people involved (in my life with me) who really do "complement" the all that is me and us. i need to feel protected and cherished in this moment. I need strong arms attached to a strong man who really is into me for real to hold me and really love me as i am, flaws n all so i can just be the puddle of goo i am inside instead of the closed off, stoic, nut up n drive on woman everyone sees.
I want to experience the connectivity, safety, and security again in and with my man in ALL THINGS, including crawling between a woman's legs and eating pussy til she cums while he throat fucks her into oblivion, only to have that same experience with him over and over again.
I want to reconnect with the joys of cuddling and having an intimacy with people where we could be hugged up watching a movie and then end up poly podding and having wild assed monkey sex with the partners that resonate with both of us, not just you or just me.
I want to reconnect and experience being taken, hurt, possessed, owned, and deconstructed only to experience you wrap yourself around me and tell me how happy you are that I'm not afraid anymore -that it's really okay that you hurt me in ways you desire, knowing that damage isn't your intention.
I am an extension of you, a reflection of you as much as you are me. I am the light and brightness that does her best to keep you from stepping in bear shit, and i support your choice to step in it when i have brought it to your attention.
This is what I want, dream of, and desire...and I'm terrified.
Why am I terrified?
ALL of the men in my life...ALL of them...
Have betrayed me as much as i have betrayed them and i am truly tired of the drama and bullshit men and women do to one another out of love, possession, and control.
Time is precious, fleeting and valuable and not meant to be clouded in a veil of illusion and lies over what you think i should be or what i think you should be.
The best things are seldom easy. If something is easy then it's being taken for granted and will perish.
I am far from easy and i am worth the effort.
I want and need a partner who commits, devotes, and gives as much to me as i give to him. |
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