I seem to be having a hard time with the guys I meet in person. They are awesome at saying just what anyone would want to hear at the time and then things start to fall apart, like maybe their ex still lives with them or they really just feel like adding you to the swarm of fuck buddies they have. Seriously, this is not what I am signing up for. 

Looks like it was inevitable for things to not work out in my vanilla relationship. Better luck next time. 

Doing better now. No more hospital trips for me for a while. Still with my semi-vanilla s/o though to be honest not sure for how long. Might give living together a shot but honestly I am not sure it will iron out the wrinkles. Not that we are necessarily bad for each other, Im just realizing hes a bit more submissive than I would like. 

Another year older, an yet another trip to the hospital. However, this time my issues were easily taken care of by medication so I am feeling much much better. I am still enjoying the wonderful company of my s/o and we are planning to move in together this summer. School is going well though I still hate math -_-. Looking forward to my spring break to see what games I can/will beat over the time. 

Still recovering from surgery and my blood levels are pretty low. I hate feeling weak and tired all the time. I know it has only been a couple weeks but I really look forward to going back to the gym and getting back in shape. Recently beat another RPG that I was in the middle of, so Im pretty happy with myself on that. Things with my S/O continue to grow strong and give me happiness. I look forward to seeing him again rather soon.

Surgery was good and bad. The good news was there was nothing they could see that needed fixing, which also became the bad news so there was a biopsy taken. I am still rather weak and tired from the surgery but at least it went alright. We are still unsure what is going on and I am still not healthy but I am relieved that I made it through surgery without any hiccups. 

Hello everyone, just wanted to leave a short message of what is going on. I go in for surgery tomorrow morning. I wont lie, Im scared

The health problems I have been facing are growing much more aggressive lately and there is still no word on what exactly it is I am battling. The good news is that I should be getting some answers sometime within the next month hopefully. 

The ripple of action that I spoke of in my dating life has now turned into more than that. I have no issues with making friends or discussing topics with fellow kinksters. I am, however, not looking for anything more than just friends or acquaintances at the time. I realize many people do not read these journal entries but I am hoping that by adding this and changing a few things on my profile that people will get the picture. 

Wishing everyone happy holidays and, if I dont hop on for a while, a good new year. 

Just figured I would let you all in on some updates. I still have yet to know what is going on as far as the things concerning my health. I hope to have a clearer picture before the new year. 

I have a tiny ripple of action going on in my dating life and I suppose I will see where this can lead to. I am still open to converse and make friends. I will also consider myself up for courtship until something more than just a ripple is in motion. 

Also, there are a few new and recent photos I have decided to add. If you are intersted to know which are recent I shall let you know. 

Hello everyone, it's been a little while. I came by to say it might be even more of a little while after I make this post. I find myself going through a physical and mental struggle over my health. For the past year there has been something ailing me, I dont feel like going into detail, and it has turned out to be something very serious. We are not exactly sure yet what it is but we know the spectrum of things it could be. I am doing my best to fight what is wrong with me and stay strong. I will most likely check back once in a blue moon but I figured Id let the people that care know what is going on.

Not sure what I am currently looking for, if anything really. I think the thing I would like the most is people to talk to and friends, I am still keeping an open mind to things but I am not trying to chase down a relationship. Currently my focuses are on school and my studies. I am still a full time student so I am not currently working, my school is a big enough work load as it is since I am working on my masters.

So it seems I find myself back on the single side of life, without surprise mind you. I did my best to give a decent guy a shot but ultimately I had a feeling it might lead to where I find myself. I am sure many would tell me I told you so but I know this is the fate of a hopeless romantic it seems. I will continue to keep this account up an active but I will also continue to be picky about whom I choose to be my company. Hope everyone is having a decent time/day. 

How do I still get messages asking me to be someone's slave/sub when my journal entries clearly state that I am involved with someone???

Small update, I am doing well it seems with the vanilla guy I have been seeing. He knows where I stand with the lifestyle and though he is by no means a dominant type of guy, he is not too submissive either. On another note, I have discovered that it is completely true that you can have another set of wisdom teeth. I had all 4 removed about a year ago and have been suffering recently from yet another set coming in. I had hoped I would never have to go through that kind of pain again but it seems it is my plight to suffer trhough this a bit until I get oral surgery....

It seems I had a reasonably promising first date with someone who I thought was vanilla but turns out might not be as vanilla as I once thought. I am going to take a bit of a break from the site for a while to see where things might lead. So far it has been nice an slow paced. Nothing physical happening yet but that is just the way I like it for now. For those of you who are my friends on this site I will continue to keep in touch, those who are looking for more I would say to pass me by for now.

It seems lately I have been having terrible luck with dating, including vanilla men, and it has been a bit frustrating. I suppose I really am just a bit too intense but they say be yourself. Perhaps this is all trial an error an the time will eventually come when I find someone who isn't scared to be with me

Just because I am looking to be someones special play thing does not mean I am EVERYONES play thing. What respectable dom would want a sub who is "obedient" and listens to every tom, dick, and harry that tells her to get nude an do things on cam? I am only willing to do such things for someone if they are my master, not just some perv who wants to get off. I think a dom should respect the fact that I am conservative enough to not let just any old body get into my pants or be able to make me strip at the drop of a hat an have been saving such things for him an him alone.

So, I am not really sure what I am looking for these days. I have been getting a lot of confusion on this site as far as what is expected of me by doms. I have always been under the impression that if a dom is interested in me we would get to know each other and talk before we go any further into things. I have also been under the impression that it should not be required of me to be nude or do any sexual or lude acts for anyone until I am owned or collared. I suppose many see this as the complete opposite of what a sub or slave should do. If you are of the mind that this is not how a sub should act an that obedience is above all else which includes doing everything that is told to a sub even if I dont even know you then you can just pass me by. I will not just submit to whomever wishes me too. I have the right to pick an choose whom I obey and I fell it is necessary to get to know someone and work on trust before things go further.