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ingmarfellini

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I had kinky thoughts since before I knew what kinky meant, probably even before the word acquired its present meaning. The right word is obsessed as the thoughts besieged me and took over my mind directing me to my path in life. I dont mean that I was set astray I was a literature teacher, probably gravitating in that direction because imagination is so much richer than real life. In a long career I barely taught anything which was literally true, but was devoted to the creations of the mind. I also taught language, a natural development because words had such a magical effect on me. The word spank was the ineffable, never uttered because it summoned up too many images which were too stimulating.



I am recently separated from someone vanilla who does not understand or pretends not to and has left me to my own on kinky matters. It has meant a number of good partners over the years but always left me with the role of top. I am sure now that I am a switch, my fantasies forever placing me in passive roles as much as dominant. Maybe I was seduced by the exquisite feeling of buttocks in my hand, a tactile stimulus suggesting a life within life.

But as I grow closer to the end of my playing days I seek a partner who will take a dominant role with me. I think it is that the bottom experiences more intimacy, must reveal more of his actual self than play a role and the the older I get the more honest I become and seek a partner who has the capacity to expose the buried self and lead it to the surface.

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samantha1520
 
 Age: 22
 Alberta, Canada