|
|
|
|
Does she exist?
I don't actually know how to define my roles within this lifestyle. In general how dominant or submissive I am depends on the people I am around and how comfortable I am around them.
I would say when I first meet people and am just getting to know people I am very very submissive and docile. I am also a very very emotionally broken person.
What I need is someone who can make me feel loved, safe, special, and taken care of. When that happens I start to open up more and more about who I am as a person. I start to share my inner most secrets and thoughts.
The more I share and trust the person I am with, the less submissive and docile I get. The "real" me comes out. I become very demanding and dominant and sadistic.
This makes finding the right partner for me very hard. Dominants tend to think I am submissive, until that dominant side of me comes out - then they want nothing more to do with me. Submissives, tend to not give me a chance because they don't want someone they have to take care of and nurture they want someone who will take care of them and nurture them.
I long for the right slave girl or submissive girl for me - but I fear she may not exist.
|
|
|
|
