I came across this recently and had a chuckle, I thought it would be nice to share it with you...you have to laugh, is very funny...

I, the undersigned, a Male accepting a proposal, agree that.

Section 1: In the unlikely event of me not giving you an orgasm, I promise not to pump away for five *whole* minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema, I shall tickle and tantalise you till you come over and over again.

Section 1.01: I will always ask for more *blowjobs*.

Section 2: I fully understand that a man's main role in any relationship is to take the blame. So when you stub your toe in the bathroom , I agree that - by some complex scientific equation incomprehensible to man - it will be my fault. Even if I wasn't there.

Section 3: Whenever my friends and I get together for a boys night out, I will tell them that you are better than a Beyonce Knowles, and are the best I have ever had!!

Section 4: After love making (which I will NEVER refer to as "sex or fucking"), I will be happy to cuddle you for hours till my arm goes dead. And happily let your hair annoyingly get in me face.

Section 4.01: I will ensure i give your **** a "cute" nickname.

Section 5: In bed, I will be as keen as mustard to try any novel sexual position you fancy. Especially ones where I do all the work and you just lie there, grinning.

Section 5.01: I promise to work out at the gym for two hours a day in order to keep my body sexually desirable for you,

Section 5.02: I promise never to bring up your bad hair day

Section 5.04: I promise to shave every *possible* inch of my body and will always love your muff even when messy...

Section 6: If we split up, I will never sleep with any of your friends or colleagues. Or anyone else you have ever met. Or, may one day meet. And, if women attempt to talk to me, I will solemnly inform them that you have "ruined" me for other women".