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Fancy one of the most mind-bogglingly horny experiences of your life?
YOU THINK...: Oh great, another idiotic bloke, bragging about his unfeasibly large willy, and pump-action porking...
Well, no, actually. Get this: I won?t even touch you. No fondling, stroking, or groping, let alone penetration. Not once.
YOU THINK...: Jeez, what a weirdo! What sort of nutter puts an ad on a pervy dating site, then claims he doesn?t want physical contact. Must be some repressed Jesus-freak or something...
Nope. Not that either. But whilst I?m at it, get this too... there?s no need for nudity either!
YOU THINK...: Whoah, this is getting toooo weird. Who does this guy think he is? Why the hell am I still reading this lunatic? The reason I?m on this site is that I WANT to get my kit off with someone new.
How quaint! :-) But has it ever occurred to you that many of the most erotic things in life happen out of the bedroom (or dungeon)? Does the phrase ?the brain is the greatest sex organ? ring any bells?
YOU THINK...: Patronising bastard. Stop getting clever with me, you smug git.
Fair enough. But seriously, what would you say if I told you that I could promise (and I do mean promise) to give you more orgasms than you?ve ever had in your life, and get you to cum harder and longer than ever before, just by talking to you?
YOU THINK...: Yeah yeah. And that guy in the pub last night was an oil billionaire who was going to marry me if only I?d suck his dick. Why don?t you put up or shut up?
Okay then. How?s this for a deal?... Meet me for a couple of hours, and if you don?t agree that I?ve lived up to my boasts I?ll give you twenty quid at the end. That?s a tenner per hour ? AND you get to have a wonderfully relaxing time. Can?t be too bad, huh?
YOU THINK...: Shit, he?s offering me money now! Does he think I?m some sort of whore?
Nah, this is a bet, not a bribe. Trust me, I don?t expect to have to give it to you.
YOU SAY...: Okay, let?s just pretend for a moment that I?m even mildly curious... (which isn?t to say I?m definitely interested, by the way!!) Tell me, what actually happens during these two hours?
Hah! I knew you?d be intrigued. I mean, why else would you read this far?
YOU SAY...: Yeah yeah smart-arse. Just get on with it, or it?s the back button for you and I?m on to the next nutter.
Okay, well, as you may have guessed from my profile name, I?m skilled at hypnosis. And forget everything you?ve probably ever heard about hypnotism by the way. The experience is more like reading a book or watching a film than anything else. You simply get immersed in an incredibly enjoyable and captivating journey of the imagination. Only this time, I make it an erotic one. And believe me, you?ll find it very very horny indeed. (We'll have spent some time chatting first, so I can get to know what sort of things turn you on - then I turn the sensation dial up!)
YOU SAY...: And there?s seriously no touching even?
Really. None at all.
YOU SAY...: Damn!
Sorry, but I?ve a girlfriend. And that?s our personal boundary. But anyway, there?s just no need. You?ll feel the whole experience more intensely than if I and half a dozen of the most gorgeous guys you?ve ever set eyes on in your life (all with the most fabulous sexual technique) had been giving you their absolute attention for hours... and doing it JUST the way you like it.
YOU THINK...: Hmmmm... this is actually sounding quite nice... but it's not what I came looking for here. And just because he writes a mean personals-ad, doesn?t mean he?s not some scummy low-life who?ll... oh hell, what?s the worst that can happen?
YOU SAY...: Alright, I admit I?m just a little curious. Not that I'm promising to go ahead with anything of course. How about if we just swap a few emails so I can ask you some more questions?
Go right ahead!
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