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I am waiting for my Diva. I won't use her name here. we are in for eggs and chees... Acommon spot in the Contra Costa are by the petrol oricessing facililities. We had a nice meet. Honset relaxed. I was ready to spill m guts. She pitched me and wha can I say. I am totaling in and then soom. I am turmed on by her speil, Like Thosr...
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Got message! Funny, feel cleansed. That was good for me. |
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Since play involves toys, I promote dungeon bears when your master is hellbent on confining you for the duration of your vacation time from work. They are luxurious so your master will wish they were in the cage with you. |
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Wearing my collar tonight,
Just for me.
Where the fuck,
Did I put the key? |
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Glorious thunder in the Bay Area tonight! |
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I have always been drawn to taller than me brassy, red haired women. When I was five or six in church there were a few. Maybe because of my reserved nature they chose me as an advocate. Their attentions I loved but was too young to understand, absolute fear. There was one instance in Livermore a bunch of kids were playing in a drywash area by a road heading out to Arroya park when a bunch of horses came galloping up and we ran for the cover of a tree. There were four girls, two boys. The girls were scared. I took my shirt off and waved it in the air yelling and running in the midst of the seven horses. They bolted off but one of the girls, a tall red headed girl just loved me after that. She showed it every chance she could. I was seven. Her affections I couldn't understand. |
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from bdsmtest.org:
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
67% Dominant
61% Master/Mistress
58% Sadist
58% Experimentalist
57% Rigger
56% Submissive
56% Daddy/Mommy
51% Ageplayer
50% Degrader
49% Masochist
49% Exhibitionist
47% Brat
47% Slave
45% Primal (Hunter)
45% Vanilla
44% Pet
44% Voyeur
43% Rope bunny
42% Non-monogamist
42% Boy/Girl
40% Owner
39% Switch
36% Degradee
26% Primal (Prey)
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I have reached out to different members and responses have been positive. Thank You all.
In grace, in love, we share... |
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My hands are tied,
My body earthbound,
My mind unfettered, 'Sings!'
The room is dark,
Chains are my restriction,
My mind unfettered, 'Sings!'
I live for,
Your promise of return,
My mind unfettered, 'Sings!'
in grace, in love, we share...
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Your art reflects your heart,
the window thru which all will see you.
Your soul is a place with shield, axe and a mace,
All who go there,
Don't forget you are in, "My space!"
In grace, in love, we share... |
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I had nightmares last night showing me death and destruction. As happens when I get high. I did get a feeling of good old fear. Believing I was in play my hands chained above me and my ankles spread and chained to the floor, permanent fixture if so decided by my Domme. 'X' fashion. All was tight and secure. My spital, seeping from the open side of my gag, like a waterfall finding its way onto my breast and funneling through my sternum seeping to fill my navel. Lights were dim except for the buzzing of cheap lights, a few candles and plenty time onhand. I was at peace.
There is a shadow cast from the doorway and bootsteps fall into the room. My heart pace speeds up. I am gripped in a moment of fear but I turn that into the anticipation of pleasure as I call to Her, "Mistress?". The moment is hanging in the room. A resounding capable voice of powerful says, "Silence!" I take note of the music in her voice. The way she held the pronunciation of the 'c' in that world to the last possible moment. I could tell she was in a good mood. She grabs my hair pulls back my head. She looks in my eyes. I whimper and feel electricity course through my body. Her red hair amazing...
In grace, in love, we share...
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I am more than excited. A very prominent Domme, that I like on intuition alone, has given me grace that sometime we will talk about my submissive role in her institution. I am made humble and happy by her consideration. I have recently accepted my role as a submissive. A role not taken lightly. I wish to prove my enthusiasm, servitude and devotion that our trust will develop a relationship that is mutual and an understanding on my part a role I can serve aptly.
In grace, in love, we share... |
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I responded to four members tonight one unsolicited. but I feel sexy. It was a long day. I could feel every minute slide by and I had every thing I need to say. Still a novice. Feel like I did in high school. was thing about friend who had longing ambition for woman who was ambvalent to his desires. He later found out he was gay. But with hotness wonder what happened with Guinn. |
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I contacted a Domina today. and got a response. She said I was inexperienced, I agree, and she would review my request later for her '
review if I filled out what I like and some experience. That will take some time. A striaght buisness transaction. Feel like I am on Wall Street.
In grace, in love, we share... |
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I wrote about striking, using my hand. The after thoughts have left me disturbed, afraid. What am I? A submissive I think. The thought is out there and I will think about and try to resolve. Agreements and rules.
I was talking to an associate. We were talking about ninja warrior how failure was imminent if we were to participate or complete. I drew the parallel of my being here; to failure. But then how can I. It is not competition it is learning about yourself. What is revealed when searching for answers.
Adrift, I await your welcoming arms...
In grace, in love, we share... |
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Sent request asking Domina for exchange of favors. Mine was beadcraft. Should have expressed other craft capable. Felt awkward but have to start somewhere. A stepping off. Angxiety, curiousness...
From friend, "White is good!? At the least I can see my shit on the toilet paper and know just how clean my ass is gettin' !".
In grace, in love, we share...
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I only speak to the involved. Don't bequeath your challenges but hold dear your acceptances.
In grace, in love, we share...
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I was thinking about emotional versus intellectual aspects to the challenges I am faced with here. Mine is more an intellectual ( not much of a critical thinker ) but I have to think about things. In contrast to, I like to talk, but I miss subtle social queues in conversation. I am better at writing thus I get to think about how things go together; conversationally naught. I wrote an admiration for member about her writing style. Then I went into a rant about my issues ( my emotional response ). Her reply was, "You definately have issues!". Lol, yes I know but I accept with a modicum of clarity that I do. I am a DIY guy and want to address these 'issues' in a way I understand them to be rather than accept someones interpretation. "We are all masters of our own road!" don't forget where you come from.
In grace, in love, we share... |
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Was thinking, my latest updated picture 'the hand' about striking.
Is it a chivalrous notion "The striker must almost be struck" or does
that upset the balance of power? I guess it is in the agreements between
participants. The rules form connections over time, trust that both
are getting what they want or needs fulfilled. Pain, humiliation... those
I guess are fulfillments but so can be the cause for those that are akin
to deliver pain, humiliation...
In grace, in love, we share...
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I just signed up yesterday and am total newb about my presentation. I've changed my picture four times already and toned down my bio. I expect more journaling in the near term than somewhere down the road.
Like any online venture I start I read peoples bios. An insatiable appetite for stories. Through them I find a little piece here and there
that help me understand me a little better. Had a few nice exchanges last night. I got rid of the fake beard, ha! Thank you for the suggestion.
In grace, in love, we share...
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