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| I'm not ready to enter a D/s with anyone right now. So please stop trying to convince me otherwise. Married with 3 kids. You'll just frustrate yourself. I've put a very thick wall around my heart and it's not going anywhere unless you happen to be amazing or magic or made of chocolate and rainbows. I'm not a submissive but I long to submit. I'm not a Domme, I don't want to take control. I'm somewhere in between and still haven't figured myself out.
DON'T MESSAGE ME. I DON'T WANT TO CHAT. NOT BEING MEAN, JUST WANT TO MAKE THAT CLEAR :)
Nilla stuffs about me:
My favorite color is glitter
I'm 5'9" tall but love heels that make me 6' or taller, rwar imma monster
I get really silly when I'm nervous
I like the outdoors. The ocean and the mountains are my happy places
The Unicorn is my spirit animal. Seriously, I took a quiz online and out of all and aminals it gave me Unicorn. Lol
I cry a lot.
I lead with my heart
What I lack in common sense I make up for in reckless abandon
Spaghetti and meatballs is my favorite foods
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I don't really know who I am or what I want, but I do know I am here and I deserve it all.
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"It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace."
--Chuck Palahniuk, Diary
"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."
--Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral's Kiss (Merry Gentry, #5)
"Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart."
--Jos?. Harris, MI VIDA: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love
"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
--C.S.Lewis
Results from bdsmtest.org ==
98% Submissive
96% Rope bunny
91% Exhibitionist
83% Voyeur
79% Masochist
76% Degradee
66% Experimentalist
61% Non-monogamist
51% Slave
30% Girl/Boy
30% Brat
19% Ageplayer
9% Primal (Prey)
9% Vanilla
8% Pet
6% Rigger
6% Switch
5% Daddy/Mommy
4% Sadist
3% Degrader
2% Dominant
2% Brat tamer
1% Master/Mistress
1% Primal (Hunter)
0% Owner
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The blindfold came off
I loved, hard. I love still. I put my blindfold on and trusted to be lead in the right direction. I kept getting my toes stubbed, my shins bruised, and stumbling into holes but I kept the blindfold on. I trusted the bumps and bruises and pain were his way of teaching me a lesson or something, I don't know. I wanted to believe he had my best interest at heart. So I kept the blindfold on. I felt someone else there, someone unfamiliar. But I kept the blindfold on. Perhaps he brought this new companion in to help me be guided in the right direction or to help him be a better guide. But then the walls came. Bam, face first, I ran hard into those walls. I reached out for him but he wasn't there. I kept slamming into my other companion. I think she was blindfolded, too. More bumps, bruises, falls, the taste of blood in my mouth and scratches on my skin, yet I kept the blindfold on. I kept it on until I couldn't take it anymore. My body and mind and heart broken for him, trying to prove to him I trusted him, crying out for him to protect me, but for whatever reason he was not feeling he needed to anymore. So I took the blindfold off. Now I have to protect myself. And I don't know if I can, he left me in the middle of nowhere and I am nothing. |
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