Ok so I promised a rewrite, here it is...
The pics I have are very limited simply because I want you to see the beauty that is me, that part of me that cannot be portrayed in a picture; who I am should be more important than how I look...on that note, I am not 6oo pounds with a wart on my nose so if that's what your into move along.
A few years ago I began looking deep inside myself, trying to figure out why every relationship I had had ended in frustration.....I was the common denominator, so I must be doing something wrong, right? Wrong; in fact, I was doing everything right with the exception of picking the right guys.
The problem I had was I had been choosing guys who didn’t know how to nurture me, they couldn’t or wouldn’t accept me for the wonderful person I am, they let me believe that I was incapable of making them truly happy and thus I was unhappy. I know now that I had chosen guys who were incapable of being truly happy with anyone, they tended to focus on the negatives and not the positives; I am a positive person and I need a positive partner.
So what was I doing that was so right? I was doing everything I knew how to do to make the man in my life happy; I have always done this and I always will....it’s who I am; I’ve been called a natural sub, maybe so...I’ve been told I’m unique *shrugs* sure ok, I can go along with that.
I’m really just me, I thrive on praise, I laugh at stupid jokes, I have blond moments, when I’m curious about something google is my best friend, I will dance around the house using my hairbrush as a microphone and I take pride in my work...pretty normal right *smiles*
Ok then there is the side of me that never quite feels good enough, when I accomplish something I then need to do more, I need to feel as if I am constantly improving....I strive for perfection and yet I honestly believe perfection is impossible.
I need someone in my life who will cherish me for who I am, someone who can be patient with me and push me at the same time, someone who can see the beauty both inside of me as well as on the outside, someone who can and will nurture in me the belief that I am good enough, that I am perfect to them.
D/s to me is so much more than what happens in the bedroom...to me it is about mutual satisfaction in every part of the relationship. I want that relationship, I want....no I need someone who can and will appreciate me in everything I do whether it be serving him in the bedroom or washing the dishes. I’ve spent enough time with guys who didn’t appreciate me, guys who seemed content in bringing me down, I need a guy in my life who will lift me up.
I am looking for my best friend, my confidant, my tormentor, my lover, my Master. I know he’s out there, and I know when we find each other the sky will be the limit.