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Old profile was frozen, hopefully a new improved one will bring Someone new...
I am a 36 year old female submissive new to the lifestyle and NOT interested in men! I am new based on my experience, but not so much new, based on my years of interest in this lifestyle. A while back I was given the opportunity to experience a short Ds relationship. During that time, I found home I found my sense of security and stabilization that I have sought for so many years. I know this is where I belong. There is no doubt about it.
Now, the difficult part of it all is finding the One for me to share my life with. I seek a Domme whom is older than myself, One whom has experience within the lifestyle. I feel I will best suit One with a soft, gentle, caring, affectionate side but also One who will assert Her authority when need be. I am not looking to top from the bottom. I will, however, push my limits and my boundaries until I learn them, until I know them well. I will ask Her to be consistent. I am able to focus on Her the most when everything else is structured and I know what is expected of me so I can work to exceed those expectations.
I am hard on myself when I love Someone. If I disappoint You, I will be disappointed in myself and work to do better to please You.
I am not looking to be harshly whipped or beaten. I am not looking for extreme pain. The way I see it, is that if my Domme, the One I love more than anyone else on this earth, has to resort to hitting and hurting me, than I have obviously done something terribly wrong, and I must deserve some harsh punishment. I still dont think that its the right punishment, but my point is that I am not looking for that pain aspect of a relationship. I admit to being flogged once before, not in the harsh painful manner, but in a more gentle manner, and Id be lying if I said I didnt enjoy it and want more. I was hit with a belt one and surprisingly wanted more, but I knew it wasnt the time to ask.
I have learned that being ked does not necessarily mean I was bad or that I am being punished. Ive been able to accept that sometimes thats just what pleases a Woman, as long as things are safe and consensual, I am down for whatever makes my Mistress happiest. I find a great sense of pride and love in being marked by someone who loves me and leaves her mark on my flesh. Having marks under my clothing is interesting. I know I have them, my Domme knows I have them, sometimes I feel them if theyre sore... But no one else knows and its a secret I must keep hidden from the world.
Several years ago I had the opportunity to witness a play party. It was a great experience and nice to be around safe, good people in this life. i experienced this play party while I was owned. It was awesome to be there watching (and deep down wanted to feel some of what I saw) with my Domme at the time. Feeling my Owners arms around me and Her hand down my shirt I front of Her friends was an experience for me! Im such a shy and modest girl, so this was new for me. LOTS of feelings, emotions, and desires went with that! That was a great experience from that relationship that I will take forward with me!
I seek a Domme who will be my life partner. One who will understand me, and know me better than any other. I want Her to be my companion I want to complete Her life, as I hope to complete Her. I am not looking for poly, but rather One on one.
I know You are out there....somewhere and until I cross paths with You, I will continue to learn about myself, and the lifestyle. Ive come to the conclusion that a good challenge is important. Not necessarily a challenge in a game manner, but rather have strict requirements, and knowing that I must keep myself within certain boundaries that were placed around me.
If You take the time to view my profile, and like what You see... please leave me a note and let me know. i would Love to hear from You. But please, no one-liners or men! Guess Im needy... That, or i want to find Someone whos real....
Wanting Someone true real seems so impossible to find...
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