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"Submission is not about what the dominant partner does TO the submissive partner. It's about what the submissive does FOR the dominant."
There are a lot of messed up and unstable people on the net and on this site in particular so, of necessity, and since I have a full life outside of the BDSM realm, I prefer to proceed SLOWLY.
No wannabes!
I can only imagine what nonsense women on this site must have to put up with!
Anyway...
Vanilla, real-life banter and intellectual discussion FIRST, is more important to me than any play chat, talking about our newest toys etc. etc.
I am a masochist, fetishist with sub tendencies, but I am NOT stupid, nor am I a doormat...
I simply can not and would not consider playing with, even casually, were I so inclined, to anyone whose life, outside play time, was a train wreck!
And yes, I am an EXPERIENCED and well-equipped BDSM afficianado - since I was 15!
That said....
I am looking for a real time relationship and see the internet as a way of connecting with someone that I would otherwise not meet. I am not an unfriendly person but just very clear on what I am looking for.
I am not looking for a casual play partner and am as a result more interested to learn about you as a person.
The fact that you are dominant is not compelling in and of itself.
A relationship does not happen online but in person. Real time and in real life!
Now you know - lets' move on to the fun stuff!
I want to fall in love with a thoughtful, articulate, and passionate woman who can be my cherished dominant, lover and life partner, all wrapped up in to one. Someone who just like me has reached a point where the desire to meet someone to share everyday life with is the predominant need and who regards D/s and SM as tools to create an intensely intimate connection - not as a way of hiding behind a mask or a role. All my long term relationships including my previous marriage had a significant dimension of power exchange and service at their core.
I am seeking someone who is emotionally and otherwise available to develop a committed monogamous relationship and who is NOT looking to just casually date or play. I know I am being repetitive!
I am a one-woman-man - If you are at a stage where you want to just casually date or "play the field" rather than focus on getting to know one person at a time, I kindly ask that you pass me by.
For me this is about an emotional and intellectual orientation - if you do not have a history of relationships where you put your partner in the center regardless of it being kinky or not, I doubt that we will find that there is a fit between us on the relationship level.
To me and my partner, this is not about bedroom kink but rather who we are and how we prefer to relate to each other 24/7. As we walk down the street holding hands we will to most look like a vanilla couple but we both know that underneath our clothes …….. especially mine.
I am a 49 year old professional man with a quick wit, keen intellect and a sometimes razor sharp mind. I like to think that I am playful, a dependable friend, a good listener, and that I have a great sense of humor and am fun to be around. .
I have a strong intellectual curiosity and drive to understand myself and people around me; to that end I can be very tenacious and if you are not yourself committed to self-introspection and emotional growth then you might find me a tad "out there". I really want to get to know you as a person, your thoughts, your fears, your dreams and passions. I have little patience for superficial small talk and tend to steer conversations to topics of substance - some find that a bit intense while others find it refreshing. You?
By choice I do not drink alcohol but don't mind a bit if my partner does as long as it is in moderation. Any type of recreational drugs, however, is a deal breaker as I would love for my partner to also be committed to being fully present.
I make sure that I sweat daily. As in exercise. And I eat clean food only. No junk.
I have like most people my age some baggage in the relationship department. For me that shows up as being highly attuned to discrepancies in words and actions. So unless you have a strong sense of integrity - with actions matching words –we will not be a good fit. My BS meter is turned up quite high and the quickest way of killing any spark that you might have ignited in me is to have your words and actions not be consistent.
At this point in life I fully expect that the person I meet has some baggage (as do I). I find people who have just sailed through life without some setbacks to be less interesting than those who have not.
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