Collarspace.com

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New to BDSM and looking to meet that special someone or make new friends to share this journey with...



Who I am...


I'm a novice at BDSM. For years, I've been interested in it. However, I've never fully acted on my desires because this is all supposed to be so taboo. I frequented BDSM chat rooms online and bought a few toys and experimented with using them on myself at the command of someone far away at the other end of a computer monitor. However, I would like to get beyond that and finally launch a full exploration of my heretofore hidden interests.

I haven't gotten past all my hang-ups just yet. I am very guarded about my privacy and so I refuse to put up a profile pic. I still don't want for any person I know in my day-to-day world to be able to one day come across my picture on a site like this and "figure me out". I do not mind sharing a picture with anyone that would like to get in contact with me, so long as they are doing the same (either via their profile or by attaching a pic).

Outside of BDSM and my preoccupations with privacy, my day-to-day life mainly consists of a full-time job working as a manager at a mid-sized company (a few thousand folks) in Chicago. I tend to get wrapped up in my work and want to excel at everything I do. However, I do value a balance between work and life. My evenings are usually spent in a studio learning and practicing various latin dance styles. I've spent quite a long while now enjoying salsa dancing. I find it's a great workout and it relieves just about any stress that I have (not to mention all the new people I constantly meet).

Outside of work and the studio, I also take a keen interest in civic life and so I volunteer from time to time in political events. Whatever free time is left after all of that is spent hanging out with friends, going to dinners, going to bars, enjoying a movie, etc...

As you can see, I tend to keep busy and I would say that I am NOT the clingy type because I am typically too distracted by all my activities to really become clingy. However, I do value relationships and am generally a very big-hearted person that is deeply moved by random acts of kindness and other mushy stuff. I don't ever intend to neglect another's need for my time or my attentions, but sometimes it does happen and I find it is easily fixed with a gentle reminder (or some strict correction and discipline, depending on your style of "gently reminding").

Bottom line: I'm playful and I like to have fun!



What I look like...

I know a lot of people are caught up with knowing what someone looks like before bothering to engage them in any sort of conversation. I completely understand, as I'm the same way. For the benefit of those that must know before they even think about sending me a message...

I'm 6'0" tall with black hair that I keep short. I have brown eyes. I'm of South Asian descent so I'd say I've got a pretty nice perma-tan going and I'd describe my skin tone as beige. I have a slim build. I tend to be scruffy when it comes to facial hair but I never keep a full beard or a mustache.

If you're really interested, ask me for a picture. So long as you've got one of your own in your profile or attached to your message, I'll send you one of me.



What I'm looking for...

I want to meet anyone who looks to make a connection beyond just BDSM. While it is reassuring and comforting to know that the people I meet through this site will have some of my more taboo interests in common, I still would like to be able to connect on some level beyond just D/s and various kinks. That being said... If you're into politics, great! If you like long philosophical discussions about the meaning of life, perfect! If you're a closeted physics/cosmology geek and you like to share the coolest new thing you heard about the beginning of the universe, I'm game. If you know how to dance a sexy Domincan bachata, let's dance!

From a D/s perspective, I'm seeking people who are understanding and would like to help me along my journey. Being a novice at this lifestyle would make every new experience exciting for me, but it may be old hat to a lot of others who are on here. I want someone who can enjoy the experience of molding and guiding me and take some satisfaction in watching me reach each milestone along the way. If you get off on pushing the limits of a novice and tailor-making a submissive to your particular tastes, then I'm willing to go on that journey with you.



What I'm not looking for...

I'm not looking to jump into the deep end of the pool right away. I have to learn to crawl before I walk (no pun intended). I deeply want to act on the desires I've kept secret for so long, but I am not looking to get into a type of relationship that is "all D/s, all the time". I want to know that I can just hang out for drinks or have a fun meal without having to worry about always following some sort of protocol. I want to know that the connections I make and share with people I meet from here are not shallow connections that only apply to physical intamacy. I want a level of connectedness and emotional intamacy that transcends all that. I want to make friends! Sure... I may be on my knees at my friend's feet from time to time and being at her complete control, but when the physical experience is over, I still want a friend that I can have interesting conversations with and enjoy being around.

You'll have to indulge me on a little rant here: I am absolutely not looking for anyone who openly proclaims that they intend to use me for my finances or demands some kind of payment for their valuable time. My time is valuable as well. I'm not anyone's walking ATM machine.



The good stuff! Kinks...

I am mostly submissive. I spend my whole day, every day, bossing around people that work for me and I have this urge to just give up control most times and have my limits pushed. I would say I'm between 85 and 90% submissive. I do have a rare dominant side of me that, if the right switch gets flipped, comes out like a voracious animal. I am not completely beyond wanting to yank back on someones hair, take charge, and use someone like a slut or a slave until they are utterly spent.

My experience level with all of these things is limited but here are some of the kinks I am interested in and others I would like to explore (in no particular order)...

1. Whips, canes, paddles, crops... I have always wanted to feel one of these and have often fantasized about being caned. Additionally, the occassional dominant side of my personality would love to have a woman in front of me, legs parted, using a crop on her inner thighs.

2. Nipple torture... I own a few sets of clamps ranging from mild to severe. I'm a bit of a painslut so I love someone that wants to push me to the edge on this.

3. CBT, teasing, orgasm denial... I've fantasized about being locked up in something evil, like a Kali's Teeth Bracelet, and having the key be in possession of a strict mistress. I would also like to tease and be teased; see below.

4. Bondage, hand cuffs... I like this if I'm being teased. I also like the thought of binding a girl and mercilessly teasing her with my tongue while she is completely helpless.

5. Butterfly vibrators, vibrating eggs, secret public domination... This is where the dominant side of me comes out most. The thought of taking a young lady out to dinner with a butterfly vibrator on and a short skirt just drives me wild :) Did I mention that I have a dormant dominant side?

6. Pussy worship, body worship, foot worship... I also would like to try ass worship but I'm a germ-a-phobe so I don't know how far I'd take that one.

7. Total slavery / not having a safeword... Let's be fair here. I
fantasize about this but I don't know that I'd ever really let it happen unless an immense bond of trust existed first. I would love to have every one of my limits pushed or shattered with wreckless abandon by a caring yet demanding Domme that just knows me on a very deep level.



If you've read this far...

Congratulations! Type "truffle" in the message you send to me and you'll get an extra-dark chocolate truffle from me if we ever meet!

P.S. Yes... that means I like fine dining and I especially enjoy dessert.

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debs38
 
 Age: 45
 Tampa, Florida