- The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Female Submissive, 48,  Fort Wayne, Indiana
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flowerchild1965 - submissive

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Bondage, spanking, and power exchange, those cornerstones are what draw me to BDSM. And I have been looking for a Dom for a long time. Not looking for a poser, or wanna be, or even a vanilla guy who ?wants to do what you need? sort of attitude, but for a true Dominant. ? I am intelligent, employed, drug and disease free. I don't smoke and only drink socially.? I seek a Man of the same basic qualities, but with a true Dominant soul. ? I have a Master's degree in my field and am not looking to Just be a housekeeper. I am multidimensional person and seek the same, His D to my s will equal more than just two persons together. ? ? I have lost significant weight since some of these pictures have been taken. Getting ready for a chance to run in a sprint triathlon in 2015.. The year I turn 50!











Last Online:


 Submissive Female

 Fort Wayne 


 5' 4"

 160 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Dominant Male

 Lives For:



 Massage (Getting)

 Outdoor Bondage










 Antique Shows


 Renaissance Faires

 Horseback Riding (Expert)



 Hair Pulling

 Mental Bondage

 Public Play


 Speech Restrictions

 Theatrical Scenes


 Science Fiction

 True Crime

 Alternative Medicine





 Alternative Music

 Country Music

 Eighties Music


 New Wave

 Nineties Music

 Pop Music

 Rock Music

 Seventies Music




 Art Galleries

 Fine Dining

 Flea Markets



 Musical Theater





 Scuba Diving (Beginner)

 Snorkeling (Beginner)


 Weightlifting (Beginner)

 Anal Play (Beginner)



 Fisting (Beginner)

 Massage (Giving)

 Medical Play


 Role Playing

 Sensory Deprivation

 Board Games

 Card Games

 Puzzle Games

 Romance Novels

 Art Collecting







 Libertarian Politics




 Blue Grass


 Classical Music

 EMO Music

 Folk Music


 Hip Hop Music

 New Age Music









 Horse Racing




 Garage Sales





 Housework Service



 Diet and Exercise

 Heavy Metal Music


 Punk Rock Music

 Show Tunes










 Auto Racing


 Body Building




 Curious About:

 Going to the Opera



 Eye Contact Restrictions

 Local BDSM Community

 Fire Play

 Plastic Wrap

 Pony/Puppy Roleplay

 Rubber Fetish


 Vacuum Stimulation

 Wax play


 Soap Making


 1950s Lifestyle

 Gorean Lifestyle

 Lifestyle BDSM

 Old Guard

 Opera Music



 Feng Shui



 Ice Hockey

 Sky Diving

 Street Hockey


 Bar Hopping


 Electrical Play

 Horror Movies

 Conservative Politics



 Kick Boxing






 Hard Limits:



 Gas Masks

 Knife Play


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Journal Entries:
2/15/2014 8:25:04 AM
so, I thought I found the right one. And it may be a bit later in life it will turn into something more, but he's not ready for the kind of relationship that I need.

11/14/2013 9:43:05 AM
Found an amazing man to be able to call my Dominant.

11/14/2013 9:42:57 AM
Found an amazing man to be able to call my Dominant.

12/7/2012 1:49:37 PM

Evening A/all,

 I have been so busy with life and some changes. First, I have accepted a challenge of sorts to run a sprint triathlon for my 50th birthday. That is just 2.5 years off and for a woman who hasn't done sports since high school, it is amazing what will be entailed. I have the goal of weight loss and muscle tone for the first year, then focus on the individual events, swimming first!!!

Otherwise, the search continues. Many Doms here are looking for an occasional play partner, or don't want to actually spend time to develop the trust that is required for this lifestyle, or are married and just want a bit of spice on the side. I guess I am wanting more. 

Now, of course, there are some out there that I have talked to, or met and just didn't feel that vibe of interest. It is not a mark against them by any means, just not "there" and that attraction is needed both ways. I am sure there have been some great Doms who have looked at my profile and not felt the attraction as well. So, do I expect to find the right guy any moment? No. I am a realist, but if I don't look, then I can't find. So, I stay with the site and hope for right circumstances to put the T/two of U/us together.



7/1/2012 8:18:36 AM

Wow, it has been awhile since I posted thoughts here.... life happens. I have enjoyed many emails from people and exchanging ideas. I have yet to find the right person for me, and may never. While there are those that sound like we could match, I do not fit their physical or age requirements. And that is fine. We all have our preferences, and those need to be respected and even cherished as unique.

I did get into a few discussions, both online and at the local munch, about lifestyle vs kinkster. And I am not sure that a kinkster is a "poser" just because they don't agree with everything that is lived by another. I guess I really take people more at a universal level. We are what we are, all unique and here to experience life as we find pleasurable as well as fulfilling an inner need.

I would say that I definitely prefer to submit. At first, I can be assertive enough to initiate acts, but after awhile, that becomes dissatisfying,  and I begin to loose interest. That is why any relationship I have ever had in the vanilla world fizzles out. After that initial "showing" what I want, and how I want it (to a man who is not of the lifestyle that is)..... I really want  to turn over the reins and let it go.

Now, I have lifestyle friends who are very very into the slave Master relationship. Where the slave can not touch the master without his order or permission. I love to touch and snuggle and am a orally tactile person. I would not do well in such a dynamic. But being told "suck my dick" or "bend over the sofa" sends a thrill down my spine....

Some say that is not the "true" lifestyle, just "kink." And maybe that is so, but I am not looking for 50/50, at least 60/40 (or better yet 70/30) in the day to day power dynamic of the couple. So, I feel that is more than just liking "kinky" sex.


What are your opinions on the subject? I would love to hear them.


3/4/2012 2:29:40 PM

Wonderful birthday party!!! Amazing to the nth degree. I really enjoyed myself and feel that everyone else did also. For those of you who love the pictures, I will look through the hundreds (yes hundreds!!!) of pictures and pick out a few great ones of my (I never include other's faces) fun time.


Another year older and definitely having a better and better time.


1/29/2012 4:18:29 PM

What I feel I am looking for....

I am not able to be someone's property. Maybe too many years as the leader, even when I didn't want to be. I wish to offer my submission, to be someone's "girl" not meat.

I want to be able to have a 60 -40 D/s relationship, where as a couple we live 60% in the vanilla world, and 40% in the D/s. And as a D/s couple, I am fine with a 70% Dom having control, but there are things that reality must allow.

I am not going to lactate and be milked. I would not like to hold your penis while you urinate, nor your piss in my mouth. I offer submission, and it should be honored as well as used.

I enjoy the painful part of D/s within the light of sex, but not just because you enjoy someone in pain.

Now, many Doms here will say then I am not a true submissive. And in their eyes, I am not. That is fine. I have heard many definitions of every term used in the D/s world. So, those who do not see me as worthy submissive in the degrees that I am willing to surrender at this point, I say fine. You must not be a Dom I seek. No harm, no foul.

You are out there, this I know. Will W/we meet? That is the answer that has many shades as well as the D/s levels.

The best of all worlds is what I seek, with a Dom who can push my limits as we reach them, not have pre-set degrees in mind.

Please be in a position to investigate a real time, real life, both D/s and vanilla, relationship. No one married, no one seeking one night play scenes....


Hopeful on knees....


12/29/2011 2:02:46 PM

Bad boy soul in a good man's body.... or good man's soul in a bad boy's body.... which is it?

11/30/2011 6:36:38 PM

Is it really too much to want the Dom who both cherishes me and controls me? Who wants a woman with a mind, and not a child? A Dom who allows me to cherish him, service him, care for him, but also allows me to have that portion of life that is vanilla and requires me to be a leader? That man who is successful in his position in society, intelligent and a leader himself?

Guess it is :(

11/15/2011 6:58:59 PM

My kinks, well...
1. love erotic spanking. not sure how far that goes. I have experienced spanking with hand and leather paddle, to the point of a good bruise the next week that amazed me! I kept thinking, if that had happened any other way, I would have been crying my head off. Who knew? Found out Flogging and whips are totally cool as well at a recent Munch Play party. Definitely like the flogging on the bum. Not so sure about the breast, but am willing to try more.
2. Love bondage, once I can trust someone. I am not about to let any soul tie me up with ropes. But the feeling of helplessness only adds to that power exchange that is so alluring.
3. Power exchange. the ultimate core of true BDSM (my definition of the acronym BDSM is Bondage, Domination, Sexual Mastery) for me. To be able to surrender and submit. wow, that is the best, but hardest point to reach, especially for me. I have to really work to develop this. The closest I got was a vanilla relationship where he was a more dominant personality, a "take charge guy." He, over the course of year and a half, was able to break down many of my barriers, but he really was reading and learning as we went along. Unfortunately for me, but lucky for his family, he went back to his wife (they were separated for 2 years, no divorce but separate houses, etc).
4. I desire to be cherished as well as be allowed to care emotionally and physically for a partner who leads. I am not slave material, I know that. But think of what I look for as an "old fashioned" relationship with the spice of BDSM. Roles defined, but they come together to establish goals and such with respect for each other and the desire to do what is right for the individual as well as the couple.
5. I love to give oral. yes give. but not as much receive, I know I sound like a poser here but it is true. My goal with a good BJ is to drive the man nuts so that he does loose that bit of control. (smile) the closest that I like to being "top" and the end of that is either his hands in my hair pulling and just fucking my face, or pulling me up and fucking me crazy, either way, in the end I give up the control of the situation.
6. I even like anal (no oral after anal without good long shower!). Not EVERYtime but in the right setting (more often than you would think), i really love it.

7. Nipple clamps, some of the Japanese Shib(something) rope binding. That is awesome. I was a “model” or guinea pig (LOL) for a demonstration once and was WOWED by it. But haven’t done anything since that demo. I think that is where the need to trust comes in, with the demo, there was at least 30 people watching so, wasn’t worried about safety as much, so could turn off the brain.

8. Think I would like flogging, haven’t tried that yet. Open to most things with at least discussion.

9. hard limits: this started out short, and then got a bit longer as I was exposed to more possibilities, no animals, no children, no true violence (ie lack of respect for safe word), no blood play, no bathroom play (this is where I started adding things) for instance no enemas, diapering (really??? Not my thing I am a nurse) or golden showers/scat play. No dead things (YES I have had someone suggest THAT) and newest, no lactation… the ship has sailed from that port. I breast fed 4 children, and while I was lactating would not have minded that additional play, but not going through all that is needed to induce lactation on a 46 year old woman, NOT happening. The rest, we can talk about.

11/10/2011 5:06:05 PM

Age is not just a number. It has meaning. Life experiences, shared generational norms and morays. Some women, and men, have no problem exploring relationships with persons younger (or much older) than themselves; I applaud the ability. I can't.

I have a set age range that I usually stick to, it is because (mostly), I have 4 adult children. I could not date/have a relationship with someone who my daughter could date.... and the same note, I could not date someone my single and very active mother could date.... therefore I have a narrow window of persons for which to have a relationship with.... Please respect that if I say you are too young for me, I am very honored you feel I am sexy enough to warrant your attention, but "it ain't gonna happen"




10/30/2011 2:58:24 PM

Amazing night a the local Munch play part get together. I had my first ever flogging. I was so amazed at how it felt and the feelings I am still getting (especially when I sit down!). It was such a rush. I liked the sensation of being chained with hands above head, but it was actually being bent over the bondage table, unrestrained, with cuffs still on that amazed me.

I thought that the feeling of struggling against the chains and bonds would be the best as it is when I am spanked, or teased. But just looking at the cuffs and knowing the (borrowed) Dom wanted me to remain in position... wow, that was twice the intensity.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been to end with 2 or 3 more climaxes with sex. Ah, one day to have my Dom to complete the sensation with a good fucking.

10/8/2011 2:18:13 PM

Bit more thought on what I feel, as a submissive, I seek in the right One...


The best dominant, is the one who is so naturally, with the touch of caring, and desire to assure the ones under his care (employees, spouse, children, sub, whomever) receive his guidance and protection.  This man knows when to be firm, and when to change course.  I have always felt that what I seek is similar to what my grandparents had. They both worked outside of the home, but their roles were defined and respected for that contribution. My grandfather guided, my grandmother nurtured. NOW, I have no clue about their bedroom activities!

Now add to that foundation, some kink, and a step up a notch.  I once read this passage from a Dom to his sub, “I can overpower you easily enough, but that’s abuse. In domination, the only power I wield is what you freely give me.”

That level of trust, Amazingly intoxicating and arousing. I know so many Dom’s state here that they are looking for a 24/7 relationship in the D/s, and how that is really possible (unless they are independently wealthy and live on a remote island or large estate) is beyond me. I live in a real world; one that molded me into a bit of a strong woman.  I organize, plan and create on a daily basis. I see the big picture and all the detailed steps needed to get there. I give 110% to my job. More than I should, really, but that is who I am. I am the same way with a relationship, except, I don’t WANT to be the one to push all that trough. It would be wonderful to give up some of that responsibility (I am not talking about NOT working, I would go nuts if that happened! I am not asking someone to support me financially) and to focus on other things.

The ideal D/s relationship would be something long term for me, involving a live in setting. But, I am not sure if I could ever trust totally enough to do that again; my vanilla marriage left a sour taste in my mouth about that level of relationships. So, the goal for me  is a lasting relationship with a Dom who is willing to spend time in the real world as well as play. Someone to do things with, and not ask me “what do you want to do this weekend” or answer me with a, “whatever you want to do.” Ugh! If I asked, it is because I was seeking guidance. But, in the same time, be willing to test my limits, give me a swat (for discipline or increased sexual response), tie me up and explore those dark corners of my desires; to help me turn off the cerebral brain, and instead FEEL. And to cherish me as I cherish him.

Add to that someone who can kick my butt into gear, laugh at me or himself, and respect people’s individuality and I would be in heaven.

Drug free, a must! Social drinker only, a must! And prefer non-smoker. Lover of family and pets, a given. Enjoys building, creating, gardening, science fiction and action movies (yes I do),music, theater, delving into new things, that would be blissful.

Do I seek too much? And therefore will never be satisfied? I don’t know, but I don’t wish to settle in the long run. Perfection, I am not, and I really don’t seek perfection in a Dom, but I feel that the sum of the two should equal something amazing, even in its imperfections.

Hope that isn’t too philosophical,


9/30/2011 7:19:01 PM

quietly wonders,..... if someone is no longer looking, or only desires friends, why not update his/her profile.

I know not all people will gel, and that everyone looking will not be right for those looking as well. So, it is ok to say that you are not interested in a person specifically. It certainly would not break my heart or soul. But to say, "I am not currently looking" or "I found someone but just haven't updated my profile" and Never updating their profile.... truth is much kinder than comments like that to be honest


Honesty, that has to be first in any interaction, but especially in this lifestyle...



9/15/2011 4:45:53 PM

Yes, I would say I am unsure as to what level I want to immerse myself into this lifestyle. I know I do not want to be a 24/7 slave whose only focus in life is to keep house and provide sex. Whose needs just become second to everything else.

I know not all 24/7 slaves are like this, Please do not get me wrong. I am responding to individuals who have said things such as "I just want a piece of meat" or "3 fuck holes and that is it."

I have a brain, a pretty damn good one. I have a life, not perfect but a good one. I have friends and family and interests all my own.


What I want is:

1) to be cherished, no, not to have a sugar daddy, or someone to pay my bills, but someone who knows that when I surrender to him, it is just as amazing a gift as his domination is to me. A two way street of communication, consideration and attention to each ones needs. Defined roles, yes, but not to the exclusion of the person.

2) to have limits pushed. Respect for hard limits always, but the ability to explore and see where things go. Sex is a beautiful thing, add to it the spice (and yes I feel it is spice) of the D/s aspect, then THAT sex is an awesome thing. But I want more than just sex as well.

3) to have a relationship with my Dom that extends past just the D/s. The ability to jump on a Harley or Victory and roar off to explore the roads. The ability to go and watch a hockey game or baseball game together, or attend a festival.

4) a Dom who is decisive. You should voice you opinion with  confidence, and yet make decisions that are best for the both of us. No, that doesn't mean that what I want is the right choice. I know that. But I also know when someone is making a decision with just himself in mind. The core of my world, I want you to be, but not necessarily the center of it. The Dom who understands what I mean, is the right one for me.

5) a tall man. My one physical trait I desire in a Dom. While I have lost significant weight, (yes I got up to nearly 270 pounds), I am not a size 6 yet. Still working in a downward goal and it has been almost 70 pounds down now, I want to feel feminine as am inside. hard for me to feel that way when I am near as tall as the Dom. Is that right? probably not. But there are Doms out there that only want a small, petite, fit woman. Their right just as I have mine.

6) a man with staying power, sexually and mentally.


Too much? probably, but I settled twice in my life. I have a tremendous passion and lust, but I want to have more than just that to share, and receive.


well, just my thoughts.


9/8/2011 6:41:31 PM

A Dom to his sub, “I can overpower you easily enough, but that’s abuse. In domination, the only power I wield is what you freely give me.” - C. Sinclair

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