new profile setup as instructed by Mistress Susan

New profile name

Davina81

I will check in on this profile now and again but my main profile will be the above

davina

Monday- i am still getting over my cold but was at worm. i am awaiting further instruction from mistress but until that time i am continuing my normal routines, although a lot of them are now second nature i do somethimes need to remind my self about crossing ny legs. I again was wearing my hold up and panties at work but today instead of changing before leaving work i left them on to go to my evening lecture at University, i sat through a 3 hour lecture knowing that i was around more people than ever before with my secret under my outer male clothing.

I further practiced my ball ties and pagging this evening after my wife went to bed, i am so frustrated sexually due to missing my opportunity to cum at the weekend when i was ill and i feel like my balls are bursting.

i have also noticed my dreams are very vivid at the momement and aspects of my training are seeping through and i am waking up rock hard, dripping and horny. I remember images on bondage, male on male action ( i am still watching the gay porn during my evening edges) and  restricted movement.

davina

The weekend - as for the last couple of weekends my task has been to focus on my wifes needs, my mistress also gave me permission to cum this weekend as long as my wife was catered for 1st, however cicrumsatnaces have been against me this weekend as i have come down with a really bad head cold and have felt terrible, i have tried my best to do as much aound the house as i have the last couple of weekends but i have fallen short of that standard this weekend and on top of that neither of us hhave really been in the mood so it is possible that i have missed my opportuntity to cum for a while

davina

Friday - Another day under the spell of mistress Susan, last night i replied to mistress with my writing task and i await her feedback on myanswers to her question, we have reached a point where i have taken the decision that i want to continue serving my mistress and i hope that Mistress will allow me to do so.

I again was wearing my thong and hold ups under my clothes at work, it was slightly less distracting today , but still a constant reminder of who i am serving. if on my colleagues new what i was doing, the panties/hold ups, the cross of my legs, the completion of edges during my breaks, the topping up of lip balm all while at work without anyone noticing or at least not saying, but the fact that i know and that mistress knows where i work is a strong and powerful thought that goes through my head.

i continue at home to stretch my balls with my edges and it has been so long since i have cum that i am so frustrated that i have come close to begging Mistress to cum but i have managed to overcome the urge but it is becoming harder every day

davina

Thursday - Today was my 1st day wearing my new girly thongs and hold ups underneath my clothes at work. i was so full of nerves at the start of the day but also beacsme very excited as i rolled the hold ups up my leg, feeling my elgs becomming enclosed in this wonderful feeling material. I so nearly came there and then! it was so difficult when completing my edges at work, i was hard all day, the thongs being so much smaller than my last panties had a job keeping my clitty contained.

I was so distracted all day at work, knowing that i have been pushed to new limits by my mistress,  she was on mind all day,  wondering where this will go next, knowing that hse has this control over me, i am reaching places in my mind that i didn't know existed before i met my mistress.

i now have to think long and hard for my writing task to explain everything and see where this all leads for me

davina

Wednesday -a little more, i have now added a picture of the thongs marked up as instructed by my mistress and a picture of me trying on a thong and holdups before i have to for real tomorrow at work, i already feel very conscious that they are hugging my legs and i know my mind will constantly be on my task and not work all day tomorrow.

davina

Wednesday -

I have uploaded a photo of the thongs and hold-up i purchased as instructed by my Mistress. I will spend later tonight marking them up with "property of Mistress Susan" ready for wearing at work tomorrow. I am nervous about wearing the hold ups,  with the fear of them falling down or somehow people seeing them through my trousers, although these are unlikley they are niggling at me but i know thatno matter what i will do this as i have this need to please my mistress that is over-riding most rationale thoughts which in itself is scary.

I still haven't decided how i will complete my dressing taks where my Mistress has instructed me to dress fully and take several pictures of myself so she can chose one for my profile. i have until Monday to complete te task but getting an hour when my wife is out is unlikely and so will have to risk dressing when she is bed, however things i need are dotted around the house so there is a huge amount of risk involved. but again i know i will have to find a way as i don't want to fail my mistress

Today i recieved a final writing task for where i am having to comtemplate where i have come from, the changes i have made, the impact and where i would like to go next. I will think long and hard about these questions as my Mistress has made such an impact on my life in just over 5 weeks

davina

Tuesday -

I emailed Mistress Susan a picture of my latest cock tie last night and in return she has set me a further task to complete over the next week. There will be changes to my profile name and pictures once this task completes, i feel that this is going to be quite an intense week, as well as the task i have previously decribed and hope to start tomorrow, all of the changes i have made so far, these further tasks are really pushing me however in my mind i am at stage where i feel i cannot fail my Mistress, she has put a lot of faith in me and has helped me to this point of my journey.

Within a week my profile will change to really reflect how my Mistress sees me and how everyone should view me.

one of the tasks set once i have purchased my new items is that at some point Mistress will txt me to instruct that i wear my new panties under my pj's and go to bed next to my wife wearing them. i don't know if it was because i was dreaming but last night i wore my pj's to bed for the 1st time this year but when i woke up i was no longer wearing my pj bottoms, if this happens when wearing my panties i have no idea how i would cope or explain but i feel i have no choice but await my fate.

davina

Monday-  on checking my phone this afternoon at work, isee that i had recieved an email from Mistress Susan with new tasks. Opening the email i once again had those butterflies in my stomach not knwoing what awaited me.

I have  been set another shopping task which i have been instructed must be completed during my lunch hour and i must provide a photo of the receipt as proof, i have to purchase some thongs ( nice  girly coloured) and hold ups. as before i am to write on each pair "Property of Mistress Susan" and wear the new panties instead of my boring white ones.  I must now also wear the hold ups each day, my Mistress is allowing the concession of changing into them at work but has warned me that this could change.

Already my head is whizing with thoughts, the earliest i can achieve this is wednesday as i am out at a work lunch tomorrow.

Further into the email more comes out, as the nights get colder as i am now wearing pj's my Mistress has informed me at some point soon she will instrcut me to wear my new thongs under my pj's in bed with my wife, the thought has me filled with terror and worry but i want to please my mistress, when she texts she wants a proof picture to show that i have worn the panties under my pj's.  All i can do now is once the panties are purchased is wait until the inevtible day arrives and focus on doing as instructed.

My final task is to take a picture of my cock tie to show my Mistress so she can assess if i am improving, i hope to do this later tonight for once my wife is in bed, however i feel i have not improved much

davina

The weekend -  I am starting to get used to being the 1st person up each day of the weekend, i have a long term task to focus on my wife at the weekends and to serve and cater to her every need as if she was my mistress. This task is making me realise howmuch i love seeing my wife so pleased that all the task/chores round the house are geeting done and she can relax at the weekend.

the only difference this weekend was that mistress had planned a task for me when my wife was out of the house on Saturday but due to cicrumstances it didn't happen due and although i had built myself up for it i totally undertsand that these things happen and it  let me switch my focus back to serving my wife to my best ability for the rest of the weekend.

davina

Friday

my mistress has informed me i have another task tomorrow when my wife is out and i am alone in the house, i don't know what this task is and won't know until i message her once my wife leaves. My mind has gone into overdrive and my imagination is going wild, i have no idea what the task may be but my heart is alreay racing in anticipation. With all this going through my head my edges this evening were quite difficult, with the gay porn on the screen, my balls screaming for relief and being tied tight i could not help but be focused on my submission to my amazing Mistress Susan

I have let myself down by not shaving my pubic area for over a weak and the area is coverered in small spiky hairs, and so i am endeveraing to shave this weekend.

As well as my up coming task i must turn to my attention to focus on my wifes needs for the weekend as instructed by my mistress and so i will sign off for today

davina

thursday

i have just completed my egdes today and my balls are aching begging for release, since my mistress increased my number of daily edges it feels like my cock is so sensitive all the time, after completing a set and putting it away, any slight rubbing from my panties is driving me mad and keeps my mistress constantly on my mind.

i feel like i am both trapped and at the same time i have been released, it is a strange place to be, the freedom is the submission i am feeling, the giving up fo control  but with a feeling of being trapped in a web , with little hope of escape

davina

Tuesday

Another day passes where i am under the spell of my Mistress,  after some guidance from my mistress last night i have found doing my edges easier today and did not take as long so fitted easier into my day at work, although the intensity was much more being in a shorter period of time.   I have completed 60 edges so far and have a further 20 to complete before heading to bed this evening.

I normally only wear my panties at work but had quiz night straight after work so ended up going in my panties, knowing that i was out and about with work colleagues with panties under my trousers constantly made me think of my Mistress

I have this eveining again tried putting pegs on various parts of my body and left them on for about 15 minutes, taking them off was by far the worst part, with intense feeling as they came off and very sensitive skin  for a while after.

I have also continued when edging at home tying up my balls as the picture in Mistresses profile, i still have a lot of work to do in the area both in improving my tie and the stretch i can achieve but i will keep practising each night

davina

I completed my trust exercise and Mistress Susan was very understanding of my confession which i am forever grateful

The weekend

I was instructed by Mistress to focus on my wife this passed weekend and to make her life as easy as possible and to try and fulfil her everyneed  and serve her like i would my mistress.

Saturday

All during today i made sure my wife had everything she needed, i was up early to feed/change/dress our daughter and did all the chores round the house during the morning. This afternoon we visited my grandad for his 91st birthday, i drove there and back which allowed my wife to have a glass of wine. 

Sunday

I have struggled a little today but remained focused on my task. previously my wife and i took turns at the early start on a Sunday but last wek and again this week i got up to look after our daughter to allow my wife to have a long lie. As most of the housework was done yesterday, in the morning i got round to doing a couple of DIY tasks that i had been putting off that my wife had been nagging me to do for ages, after finishing those she said she was pleased that i was starting to listen to her and getting things done. After lunch we headed to Edinburgh to see a friend, i drove which allowed my wife to have a little nap on the way down and i also drove back so she could just chill out.


Monday/Tuesday

 I have been continuing my routine lipbalm, sitting cross legged and sitting to pee. I stopped at Tesco this morning and bought a packet of girls panties to add to my collection and i wore a pair of these new panties at work today instead of my white panties

I am struggling with my regime of edges, with the problem being fitting them all in my day, they are consuming a lot of my thoughts and time and i feel like i am hard for a large part of the day and i am already extremely frustrated.

Thursday

I have just recieved my ew task from Mistress Susan, however it has brought to the fore a confession that had to be made. I am now scared that having made this confession that my Mistress will no longer want me or will be so dissappointed in me that i will be let go.

The task she has set  me is a trust exercise but the confession i have just made puts this trust we have built up in jeporday. I have been trying to keep a line between certain things and i am not sure whether this was right or wrong but no doubt i will find out soon.

I had complete my edges for the day before recieving my new task which requires me to increase the number of edges performed each day by a further 20 and to also banning me from cumming over the weekend while serving my wifes every needs.

i am now waiting to hear my mistresses reaction to my confession with great trepidation as i don't know when i next update this journal whether i will still be serving her

davina

Wednesday

I have continued to perform my routine tasks that are now fully part of my daily routine that i don't in mind see them as tasks but part of who i am ( sitting to pee, cross legged when sitting, keeping my lips topped up with balm), even performing teh act of edging is now not routine but part of me. I am starting to get quite frustrated again, with tying my balls while edging it is certainly increasing the intensity of the feelings. 

I have again tonight tried some clothes pegs, this time it was mainly on my ball sack and inside of my thighs, strangley the pegs on my legs caused me trouble than those on my ball sack, i will need a lot of practice toreach the number of pegs my mistress would like me to achieve in the long term.

Although i have some email contact with mistress this week, in my mind becasue i have not had a new task i for some reason feel a bit lost, it is not a feeling i have ever had before, i shouldn't feel like this as i have set tasks to complete as well as well as the rest of my normal life yet i still have this feeling. 

As an email slave i know that there may periods where Mistress is busy/ill/focusing on her own slaves and these breaks in my training will occur but i am just surprised to be feeling like this, i will have to learn to cope and i am obviously still learning a lot about myself

davina

Tuesdays Update

I have been continuing my daily tasks as previously instructed by Mistress Susan, Although on holiday and not at work, i managed to wear female panties for most of the day including when at university class this afternoon. I completed my edges this evening with my balls tied as instructed, i think i did a better tie tonight with slightly more stretching than before, the balance of uncomfortable feeling with the increase sensitivty is quite interesting when performing my edges to the gay porn which is now thourghly pervading my thoughts. I have never though of myself as bi curious but the more i am made to watch the porn the more i am questioning it.

Mistress asked yesterday during the makeup task whether i feltdissappointed i didn't have time to do my makeup properly of if i enjoyed the feeling that i might get caught. In reply i said that it was abit of both, i wanted to do better and show to mistress that i can learn to do my makeup properly but the rush knowing that i was doing this with a risk of being caught and being humiliated was much bigger than i expected and i enjoyed that feeling

davina

I was meant to update my journal yesterday evening but had some wifi issues which thankfully have been resolved.

Yesterday was my 1st day off work and i was expecting a new task to be set but it didn't arrive ( i now know my Mistress has been unwell and i hope she is feeling much better soon) so i focussed again on my regular tasks. I was not looking forward to completing my edges at night as i had been set additional task to bind my balls like the picture in her profile. I was able to get away and buy the required cord and while in store also purchased the other items i had been instructed to which was some clothes pegs.

I realised while I was out I was nearly out of lip balm so I popped into my local store and bought one to make sure I am never without it.

Later during the evening I was able to prepare to do my edges, I took out the cord and tried to bind my balls as instructed by Mistress, I think I did not too bad a job ( I emailed a picture to Mistress) although I have feedback from my Mistress with some constructive criticism and I will be working hard to improve,. I have also tried placing some pegs on various parts of my body, just one or two to start with and it is amazing how much it feels different between the different areas, how much flesh you put into the viscous little teeth. Also I only left them on for 10 minutes but the pain when they are removed, when the blood rushes back is quite intense.

While edging with your balls bound,  I felt it was much more intense and harder to know when to stop, the balls and cock became much more sensitive to touch  and in my mind the level of frustration was much higher.

davina

As instructed by Mistress I focus all my attention on my wife over the weekend for the 2nd weekend in a row. I am sure she is curious as to why there has been this sudden shift but she has not really asked why and is enjoying the benefits. On Saturday I did all the housework, including the bathrooms and a round of ironing, we went out to see friends in the afternoon and i ensured that i bought all the food and drinks and fetched and carried so she could just chill and chat with our friends. We had a quiet night watching TV and i offered to give her a foot massage which she happily accepted. This then led further into some light foreplay and kissing. I concentrated on ensuring i was pleasing my wife 1st and not thinking about the need for my pleasure. We headed upstairs where there was some more foreplay with her vibrator before we made love. Later before bed i offered to clean her vibrator and as instructed during my session with Mistress Susan i cleaned the vibrator with my tongue.

I then asked my wife if it was ok for me to stay up and watch match of the day, she said she was happy for me to do that as she could then chill out with the bed to herself.

However instead of watching match of the day i took the decision to complete Mistress Susan’s task which i was given for not listening properly, i was to make up my face three times and take a picture after each time to practice my makeup skills. Earlier in the day i had managed to borrow my wife’s eye shadow as one of the stipulations was to use three different eye shadows as proof i had done my makeup three times.

I did manage to do my makeup three times but i need a lot more practice, also i was petrified that my wife could have come down at any moment and caught me in the act. After completing and cleaning my face i then headed to bed.

On Sunday we had a day out where we had fun driving 4x4, this had been a birthday present from my wife but when we arrived i offered to let her do 50% of the driving experience, she was ecstatic and we both loved every moment. Once home the rest of Sunday i made sure i made her cups of tea, organised and tided up after dinner and made sure she had a calm and relaxing evening

Mistress Susan has also given me a couple of updates to my eding task which i must start adding in from tonight ( i must purchase a couple of things 1st) and i now await some tasks which she is planning for me to complete during my holiday week

Another day has passed under the control of my Mistress, Friday is quite a diificult day as i have a standing instruction from my mistress that over Saturday and Sunday I must focus my full attention and efforts towards my wife, to treat her as i would treat my mistress, to let her want for nothing, give her the control without her knowing it. the 1st weekend i was set this task i failed and looked at my Mistresses webpage and i was punished for this.

This is now the second weekend approaching and i am determined not to fail my mistress again. So This blog will not be updated again until monday unless directly instructed by my Mistress. I have continued today with the standing instructions from my mistress while await new tasks, the edges at work again were difficult to fit, being my last day before a week off, work was understandibly very bust but i was determined not to let down my Mistress. Between breaks and lunchtime, i was able to complete my 40 edges, everyday i acheieve this a great sense of happiness that i will be pleasing my mistress but also one of deep frustration a further deeper fall into submissiveness, hoping that my mistress will allow me to cum soon. Since 1st being instructed by my mistress to shave my pubic area, i have now twice reshaved to my myslef clean shaven for to reasons, the 1st was a subconcsious decison that my mistress instructed me orginally to shave and i assume that i must keep clean shaven and the 2nd more practical reason is as it starts to grow back in it is quite uncomfortable.

As i write this there is a vidoe of gay porn of two young men making out and playing with themselves, as i complete my 20edges at home. i don't know how long i will be doing thsi for but these images are starting to filter deep into my head that i am sure i am starting to have dreams, this may be because of the edging and my brain is starting to link the two who knows.

sissy davina signing off until monday

Blog updated -

http://sissy-davina.blogspot.com/

I am continuing to serve Mistress Susan and have just served my mistress in real life for the 1st time.  I have now started a blog to document my journey and it can be found at

http://sissy-davina.blogspot.com/

i have just been set my 1st email tasks by Mistress Susan (thequietone78),

i am looking forward to serving and learning through the tasks i am set and hope to please Mistress Susan with my dedication and submission

d