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I have a Master.
I like diaper play, He doesnt (
I havent done much with this profile for a very long time. I have had some very interesting messages. I was approached quite steadily by a person who seemed to want to play the same game as me. We even got to the first meet stage, when things took a downhill turn. Apparently his expectations for a first meet were quite different from mine. He wanted titillating talk, I wanted us to get to know each other. We both were dissapointed.
So what do I want?
Diaper play, of course, is the answer to that.
I suppose I am just this side of acceptable, even in the BDSM world. I am looking for age play.I want to be forced into infantalism. I do have a little in me, and she really wants to come out in play. She wants to have accidents in her big girl panties. She wants to be punished and forced to wear and use diapers. She wants to be made to drink from a bottle and use a pacifier . She wants her temperature taken rectally as she lays across her caregivers lap. She wants to be ked with a wooden spoon and a belt. Just the sound of a belt being pulled out for use, as she stands in the corner wetting her pants, makes her knees weak.
However as in most play there are rules.
Master is still my Master.
He does allow me to play, if it is done safely.
NO SEX. This little doesnt play that way.
I am looking for ongoing, real time play. I dont do cyber.
There must be a first meet , at a public venue, for the purpose of meeting in real life. This first meet will not be a play session, or a sexy talk session, but a real meeting, getting to know each other on a vanilla basis, as well as working out the actual particulars of a play session.
Also, in case it matters, I do not shave. I am a little, who is a mammal, so I have hair. It is fairly sparse, but it is not coming off for play, I will discuss the reasons privately if need be, but it is a hard limit, I keep my hair.
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Master has told me I am not allowed to use the toilet, I must use my depends. The only problem is that they don't hold a lot, and I have already wet them some. I have been wiggling for the last hour, I really need to go! |
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Old Emails:
I was deleting old emails today and found one of the first from my Master. OMG I am so lucky. I realize again how He saved me from my sub frenzied self. February 23, 2009. It is hard to believe it has been so long. Thank you so much Master for saving me. I love you so much. Thank you Universe, for sending Him. :) Thank you Collar Space, in your previous identity, for providing the platform on which to meet. |
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A Thousand Swats
Some are hard, some are light,
Some just right.
Some make me scream with agony,
Sometimes ten, sometimes three.
Each is marked off of the board,
Some by me, some by my Lord
and Master who I know loves me.
He paddles when I need to pee,
Washing dishes, folding clothes, watching TV.
For punishment, for fun, for laughs,
He spanks me till I moan and gasp.
With paddle and cane, hand and belt,
Sometimes no marks, sometimes a welt.
This game He started so long ago,
Has given our relationship a healthy glow.
My wonderful Master, I love him so.
So with this poem, I am happy to say,
The count turned down to 340 today!
Why with just one a day, I'll be done in a year!
Though it will take far less time than that, never fear.
Cause when Master is doing His spanking fun,
He hardly ever stops at one! |
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I got to play with my new, Master approved Daddy today! Hooray! It is the first time we have gotten to play. He and I have talked online for a while, then finally Master and I met him for a public meet, and Master said it was all right to play! ( Within His rules of course)
Daddy lives far away, but he and I met at a point a little more than halfway for him. We met at an outlet mall that has seen better days. Only a few stores are left open, giving the place a deserted feel. I was in the car an hour and a half to get there, much of it sitting on a closed off freeway wishing I had gone a different direction!
I drank a 32oz QT, my second of the day. I did not potty before I left. When I got to the mall, Daddy was already there. I needed to get shoes, my old pair were worn out, plus I needed something dressy for a wedding I am going to. We discussed what to do for a minute. I told him I was dry but really needed to go potty! He grinned and made sure I was padded up. Then he told me to go ahead and wet myself. I let the pressure off some, but did not flood my diaper. With a dampness now between my legs, we went in to look at shoes. Amazingly they had the exact shoe I had gotten two years ago, in my size no less, so I got them. I didn't try them on though, as I was still damp. As I was looking for the dress shoes, Daddy began to talk to a salesman. I have no idea what they said, as a sudden urge hit, and all I could think about was I was pissing myself in front of two men!
I was sort of forced to sit and try on the dress shoes, and quickly found some I think I can wear for several hours without hurting my feet. After paying for my purchases, Daddy and I put the packages in the car and walked around the nearly empty mall. We sat at some picnic tables and watched as a fairly steady stream of people came to the restrooms. They do not have a family bathroom at this center, so there was no place Daddy could change me. We stood in the bathroom area for a few minutes and in no time a security guard showed up on his little golf cart. I went in to the ladies room and washed my hands, but did not use the toilets. Daddy and I found one little secluded corner where he gave me a few spanks. He got me good a couple of times, though most of the swats were padded. We finally worked our way to the back alley of the mall, facing a field with a college on the hill in the distance. We waited for the golf cart patrol to go around the corner and Daddy put me up against the brick wall. He put his hand down my pants and diaper and felt the wet. He started playing with me and I immediately asked to come, not knowing if I should ask or not. Master doesn't make me ask Him. Daddy was different, he grinned and put his other hand to my throat, gauging my reaction, as we had not discussed this aspect of play. He was careful, and I can take a light choke, so I just went with it, a wave of orgasm coursing through me out in the open, against a brick wall, at the mercy of a man I barely knew.`He cut it off quickly and as we straightened ourselves and began to walk again, cart lady was headed back straight for us! I don't know if she saw anything or not, but she passed us by. We continued to walk and talk all the way back to our vehicles. At the car, I handed Daddy a wet wipe and he grinned at my thoughtfulness.
By then, I was starved so I talked Daddy into going to a sandwich restaurant he had not tried. I think he liked it. The place also had no family bathroom there. Daddy thought the local Wal Mart had one so we went there to try. I still needed to pee so I let a squirt go in the parking lot. "Uh Oh' I exclaimed. "What?" said Daddy. I had to tell him I squirted too hard and leaked a little in my light colored jeans. He checked me from the back, and said I was dry. Check the front and he grinned. "Yep, You have a definite wet spot!" I was mortified as we walked into Wal Mart and headed to the back of the store. It turns out they did not have a family bathroom either. So basically I walked around Wal Mart in pee stained trousers for all to see. When we got back outside Daddy asked me "So what's plan B?" I told him there was a rest stop not far from us, on his way home, that did have a family bathroom. The rest stop was busy and we stood around interacting with the displays till we could get a turn in the family bathroom. It was amazingly nice, clean, and best of all had a long, tiled bench. I dropped my jeans and laid on the bench. Daddy put a pacifier in my mouth, and smiled as I sucked on it. I gave him my VERY sharp knife as I use pull ups. He carefuly cut them off me. Then he wiped me as I laid with my knees apart, and eyes closed, sucking on the pacifier. I felt his hand as he indicated when I should lift my butt and I felt him diaper me in my very first adult sized baby diaper. He did not get it on well, new daddies do that sometimes! I got up and pulled up my pants as Daddy washed his hands. We quickly gathered stuff and got out of there. A few people looked at us, but no one said anything. When we hit the cold air outside we stopped at Daddy's car to say our goodbyes. He suddenly said he had to go and disappeared quickly into the regular men's room. I stood by his car in the cold and the urge to pee reappeared, so I wet my fresh diaper. When he came out I told him I had wet it. "Just now?" I nodded. And so that is how I ended up coming home in a wet diaper. Just one of the ABDL diaper held more than the padded up stuff I use. Maybe they are worth the money! |
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Who will come change my diaper? |
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Still playing, in spite of myself. I messed my diapers tonight. First time I really went through with a big push. I have had a couple of real accidents, but this is the first time to not fight it and just push, when I needed to go. I feel so filthy and naughty. What would you do with me? |
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I pee peed on my pillow!
Thankfully it is not still used as a pillow.
It is a pillow we paid $$ for when shopping, because I just had to have it. Master got more sensible, fluffy pillows. I began to have neck and shoulder problems that got better when I spent time away from that pillow! So one night, Master gave up one of His nice pillows and put mine across the room, saying we would throw it away later.
Today I have spent far to much time at this computer due to Master being generous. my butt began to ache and finally I went in search of relief when at last I found it! The cast off pillow provides just enough support for my heavy ass.
However, I have been kept naked all day, mostly by my choice as well as Master's. Though I wore fluorescent orange duct tape as pasties on my nipples for a while.......till they were ripped off to my yelps, and Master's chuckle.
I was sitting on said pillow and had to cough, and leaked some. I kept telling myself, I ought to diaper up, or cover the pillow, but no. now it will smell of my piss. Master says He will try to wash it. I am going to ask Him to leave it and use the pillow for punishment occasionally, making me lay on it :)
Anyway, I asked Master if I could pad up and if He would spank me before i did. He agreed to both and spanked my bare ass hard with His favorite cane, with a couple of bare handed spanks for good measure. Then He watched me pull my padded diaper up and put on my plastic dinosaur pants!
I am such a bad little girl, I need to be punished often!
I love you, Master!
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I am sitting in my super padded diaper, with the Dinosaur Print plastic pants on. I already wet a little in it, as I needed to pee pee for a long time, and I am not supposed to hold it. I have a soda and a small water in front of me. More pee to come! |
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ODE TO LOVE SLAVE
A paddle of substance,
With holes for more pain.
Master just loved it,
I hated it's name.
It was named for the sticker,
That was placed on it's back.
A half inch of pine board,
It could deliver a whack!
With skill and finesse,
My Master would use,
He had to use caution,
It could leave a mean bruise.
The spanker for punishment,
I never liked it for fun,
That wooden paddle,
Seemed to like my bum.
I was a bad girl,
Punishment was due.
Old Love Slave the paddle,
Was put into use.
A blow to my ass,
Another to come,
When Master whacked me,
It broke on my bum.
My ass had cracked Love Slave,
That paddle of pine.
Alas it was broken,
The end of it's time.
I laughed and laughed,
But Master was not mean.
He just took a picture,
To put on the screen.
It's not on my profile,
Not yet anyway,
But if you go to Mindmazes' profile,
You can see it today! |
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You. Yes you out there. Especially the young ones. This sort of thing has been around a while!
http://allday.com/post/8840-for-years-she-kept-her-secret-lover-in-the-attic-and-made-him-live-like-a-bat/?exp=3&utm_source=ADS&utm_medium=FBO&utm_campaign=HIP |
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I have a fantasy .......
Master has a Guest over. i am a brat and get put in a time out corner. i am standing there, clad only in my diaper. Master has to run an urgent errand. The Guest offers to "babysit " me. i must not move from the corner the entire time Master is gone! Master tells me, as He is leaving, that i must be dry when He returns, or i will receive a severe caning, in front of His Guest!!!
Soon after Master leaves i hear a movement. I feel the heat of the Man, as He leans close, His clothes barely brushing my naked skin, causing goosebumps to form, as i try to remain perfectly still. "you were told to stay dry", He whispers. " Are you? "
" Yes, SSSSIr" my voice quavers.
" Not for long" He says, as He steps back slightly and i hear His zipper go down. i feel Him pull my diaper out and feel His fingers check to see. Then my eyes open wide ( thankfully He can't see my expression) as i feel His semi hard penis strain against my diaper as it is shoved down into it. He grunts, and i feel a warm stream as my diaper floods with His warm urine and the smell wafts upwards. i feel His final squirt go down my ass crack, and He withdraws, zips up in one smooth motion, and returns to His seat, and His drink, as i stand frozen, legs slightly apart, with my diaper sagging dangerously full.
i stand there stock still, knowing that my ass is toast, that Master will punish me exuberantly in front of His Guest, for my disobedience. As i stand there, waiting for His return, knowing what is coming, i begin to feel a stronger and stronger need to empty my bladder. i begin to fidget slightly, and Master's Guest, informs me that He is filming me to show Master my disobedience.
Suddenly i hear Masters vehicle, followed quickly by the sound of the door opening. When i hear that i lose it, and my quickly emptying bladder spills its own load into my already overfilled diaper. i feel the gush as the urine spills down my legs and puddles on the floor.
"WHAT IS THIS!" Master roars......
my knees turn to jelly and i know i am toast>>>> |
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I want one!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dildo-hoverboard-definitely-not-taking-you-back-to-future-nsfw_us_57431311e4b0613b512abe01?section=weird-news |
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I am recovering from the bladder infection from Hell! I am not sure if I will ever play again. I am not even sure what caused it. I have been playing holding games and wetting games, and BDSM games, including one that ended up with me getting fucked hard and deep by Master.
Anyway, on a Sunday it hit me. As I was talking to my mom. Hard. I was wearing a really padded diaper and let go of my spasms as I talked to her. Upon checking my padding I saw signs of blood, so I let Master know. He helped me get home, I passed blood and tissue into the toilet at the QT on the way home. I lasted with home remedies until Wednesday, when I woke Master and made Him take me to the local ER. A couple of pain shots, an IV of saline and one of antibiotics and they sent me on my way.
However , I had a setback with the oral antibiotics they sent me home with, I got a stiff neck and shoulder pain so bad, I started taking the pain pills they had prescribed for the bladder infection. That in turn made me bitchy and mean. The result of that was a horrible night, when Master told me He would never hit me again. He meant it, and I knew at that moment, I could not live with out that in my life. I was devastated.
Thankfully Master has continued to talk with me and I think we are working things out. We both realized we need to up our attention to the details, and remember why there are rules. Not only for slaves , but for Masters as well.
I still am not well, completely, but I am working on it. Master has given me some playful spanks, so we are working on His statement, and my desire. :) Negotiation is Key! |
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I am sitting here in my new dinosaur print plastic pants. I just got them today!!!
I started off the day, at my moms. I wore a regular depends and an extra sanitary napkin. I was glad for the napkin as it got used while I was out and about, first with mom, then with sis. When I got back to the house, I was able to change out of the wet napkin. Thankfully the Depends was no worse for wear. I padded up with a modified strap on plus sanitary pad for the drive home. When I got home there was a Tiki torch lit. I was not sure how long Master would let me stay in my diaper so I wet myself as I stood in the driveway. Master was in a good mood, but somehow got on my bad side. I think we just had a different idea of how the evening would go. He was thinking naked slave and paddling and I wanted to play wet, but wasn't ready for a paddling. Finally though, Master left for the store. I pretended I was grounded to my room and not allowed to go to the toilet. I decided I needed to go again. I put on my new plastic pants, and added an inner dry modified strap on diaper. I didn't last long and took a nice long pee, and tried to thoroughly empty my bladder. The padded diapers held everything , not even soaking through to the over layer of pretty pretty dinosaur protectors! I added one final dry inner layer, this time remembering to add another sanitary pad in addition to the modified diaper. The new plastic pants hold this all with room to spare. The entire wad hangs more than halfway to my knees. I can't put my legs together and must walk with a waddle. The weight of the wet out layers sags the diaper as I walk about the house. Master came back from the store and I apologized . He laughed when He saw me in my panties. He says I am cute. I think I am a sick person...but here I am in my new plastic pants. I can't wait till my new penis pacifier arrives.I will get Master to take pictures. He has gone to bed for the night at present though.
I have found these pants are a mite uncomfortable, which of course adds to the whole effect. I just wish I had a sitter to change me :(
I am drinking sodas and water and waiting till I have a good full bladder before letting go again for the evening. Then I will take a shower and go to bed. I think I will pad up dry before I go to bed, it might be fun to wake up wet!
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I may have found what I am looking for. I can think of little else. |
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I suppose my computer has sprung forward. I have now been up all night and haven't been to the potty for hours. I have used my diaper however, it is about as soaked as it can be I think. I hope it doesn't go through to my pants! |
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I am pee holding this morning with a thick diaper. Would you like to know the exact moment I lose it? |
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Master and I went to a local dungeon for their New Year's party. We had been looking forward to going for a while. This has been a stressful year, starting with my sisters hospitalization, followed by my own. The year has flown by with one disaster or problem solved, just to face another. The last two months had been especially hard, first losing my sisters funding, and fighting to get it back,then dealing with the fallout of losing a caregiver and having to find another. Just about the time that got resolved both my sons arrived in town for the Holidays creating even more chaos to our already full schedules.
Master and I had some harsh arguments along the way , one night I even ran away! We had gotten to the point of just barely tolerating one another. We hadn't played in months, and just didn't seem to be on the same page with anything, including BDSM and our lifestyle.
He had been itching to spank me, but there was never the right time. Either I was unwilling to submit, or we were at an inappropriate place (i.e. my Mom's), or Master was too tired, sick , unwilling....whatever. The week before the party Master wanted to spank me several times, but held off. I kept reminding Him if he bruised me early we couldn't play hard later. ( It takes me longer to heal now days).
At long last the night arrived. Master stayed calmer than He has ever been before an event. We ran our usual late, but He didn't stress over it. He even helped pack, choosing what instruments He planned to use on me.
When we arrived at the party we started out slow. I was hungry and partook of the food selections. He went out to the smoking deck and visited with attendees there. We watched some play for a good while. Finally I began to catch the vibe and got undressed. I wore a diaper and a Happy New Year's ribbon. Master had bought me a new toy, a pink plastic penis wand. I touted myself as the penis fairy and went around blessing people with my penis wand. :)
Finally though, it was time for my punishment. I knew I richly deserved a beating, and Master was itching to give me one....He had held His anger for far too long.
He allowed me to choose my station...I chose the rack. It was easy to tie me to, I could lay down and take more pain than standing up, and there was nothing in the way of His swing. Master used my pink cuffs to secure me to the rack chains. He used rope to tie the rest of me down, including my legs, so I could not kick. That rope was fairly loose, and although I was able to move my legs at one point, it held me fairly secure.
Master began fairly slowly, putting each thing on my back before using it on me. There was a rod, a belt, a small paddle, a spoon, a flogger and the big paddle "Love Slave". At one point, I had a coughing spell. Master loosened the rack and let me blow my nose, leaving me secured while He went to get some water,giving me a chance to recover some from the first part of the beating.
I told Him I was afraid I was going to break my new teeth ( front caps) from biting so hard. ( My good penis gag had been stolen this last year.) I was desperately trying to figure out something to bite on when I remembered the piece of broken belt that was in the toy bag. Master got it out and I was able to bite it without putting undue pressure on my front teeth.
The beating then resumed, at a much harder tempo than the first. I wanted to stop several times, but kept telling myself I deserved this punishment, needed this punishment, and had in fact wanted this punishment. I just kept telling myself to go somewhere else, and my mind floated and wandered as my body absorbed the pain. All the hurt and anger from the old year was beaten away. I felt renewed as Master finished and untied me.
I know He felt better, He told me so. He found me a quiet corner and I napped a while. He came and got me just before midnight and we toasted in the New Year. Master kissed me at midnight. He surprised me with the kiss. I was not expecting it. It crossed my mind how many lonely New Years I had spent, wishing for that midnight kiss.
Finally it came, unbidden, as a complete surprise. I sighed with satisfaction. It is so nice to start the New Year knowing I am loved, cherished and owned.
I love my Master!
To all that wonder at my use of that term.....the Man is a Master, His beating was done with skill and precision. I have uploaded a picture of my butt so you , dear reader , may view the aftermath! |
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I played with a CD and he was my "Miss". First she had me stand in the corner for 20 minutes without fidgeting. I decided that was too easy, so put myself in a stress position in the corner with my head and shoulders supporting me and my legs spread apart about two feet from the corner. I let a dot of pee out when I got into position. Then as I stood there, rather than fidget, I did not fight too hard and had to let out two more dots and a small two second stream of urine as I was standing there. After I reported back in to her, she told me I could soak my diaper. Finally I was able to flood my diaper, though that was not near all. I stayed playing on the computer and talking to Miss. At one point, I pushed some and thought I had messed myself. I told Miss it was the first time I had done a stinky. It began to be late , so I needed to finish up. I did as one poster suggested and sat on the toilet and as it turned out, I was able to pee till my diaper became quite heavy and saggy. Then I prepared for my shower, at times having to walk through the house in my saggy wet diaper. Finally I put a puppy pad on the floor, and stood with my legs apart. I pushed with everything and was able to make a nice wet finish. Then I undiapered and put the mess neatly in a plastic bag. Turned out there was not much from the smelly end, mostly stink! |
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I just woke up, but didn't use the big girl potty. I am sitting in a dry diaper, but don't know how much longer I can hold out! I am already wiggling... |
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Sometimes my vanilla life overwhelms me. Lately that has been the case. My sister lost her Medicaid funding, partly due to my not jumping though the bureaucratic hoops fast enough. This affects everyone in my immediate circle. It affects sis, cause she doesn't get the help she needs. It affects mom, for without help, she tries to take care of sis on her own, which is impossible. ( Two handicapped wheelchair users trying to support one another. (: ) The other night while heading over to mom's, Master was fussing at me, because He didn't think I was doing enough to get the problem fixed. This was at 8 pm on a Friday night, nothing I could do until Monday at least. I got so mad at Him, really I was mad at myself. I wanted to lash out, hit something, and I was afraid it would be Master. So I pulled off the tollway and told Him I would take Him back home. He told me not to , in no uncertain terms. So I found a safe place to pull over, and left my keys and wallet, and started walking. I ignored Master telling me to come back. He drove past me, and still I ignored Him. The narrow road offered few opportunities to turn around so it was a while before Master came back the other way, still telling me to get in the truck. I kept on walking.
This time when He passed me, I waited till He was out of sight and took a ninety degree course change, heading cross country in an area of new construction. I heard the truck coming and went behind a large dirt pile, before Master saw me. He passed by. I sat there a while. He called. I still had my phone, but I quickly turned down the sound, so He could not find me by listening for the ring tone. I sat there till I had cooled off, both mentally and physically. He passed by again and I came out of hiding and proceeded to walk up the road. This time when He came back around I was on the sidewalk. Master was crying..." I thought I had lost you!" He cried. "I am here" is all I said. He wanted me to get back in the truck and I told Him only if He let me drive. So He got out of the drivers seat and we changed places. We didn't talk much then, but went over to mom's and took care of them for a while.
The next day, I started making phone calls, and at this time we are closer to getting the problem fixed, tomorrow I will work on it again. Master was right, I did need to be more proactive in fixing the problem, rather than to rely on others to do their job.
Master did spank me a few days later, a sound whipping which I knew I deserved.
I love my Master |
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I have decided that cyber relationships and control just don't work for me. I've tried for a while now and realize that anything other than real time is just fantasy, and I can do fantasy in my head. I will be dusting this profile off a bit, to reflect that intent. To all the Doms, I have spoken to and played with online, I do appreciate the effort you have made and thank you for it. |
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Master has decided I need written instructions for my task later today. These are His orders....
Task for 11/16/2015
Wear diaper from the time you leave the house to renew your license and use NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS. Upon return to the house if your diaper is wet you shall be spanked 50 times with a wooden spoon and made to do ALL the dishes. If dry you may go to Chele's house.
That is all
MASTER |
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Master said I can play! I am sitting in an extra padded diaper. It has been hours since I peed. One night a dom online controlled my pee. On exercise had me pee for a few seconds then hold, alternating the two. Do you want to control me? |
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Master just went to bed. i managed to pad my diaper super well before He retired. i am beginning to be desperate to pee. i have had a lot to drink this evening, and haven't been for hours. i got up a while ago and leaked a little when i stood up. i am beginning to get cramps and it seems all i can think about is going potty. i so wish someone would tease me for a while :) |
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Torture...with Love:
I tried to sleep the other night but tossed and turned. Finally I called out to Master.
He came into the bedroom and I sat up and pouted " There's peas in the bed!" I cried. Master laughed. That is code for us. Master has finally come to realize that I am very much like the princess in the story " The Princess and the Pea" by Hans Christian Anderson. The least little bit of grit, or crumbs in the bed can keep me from sleeping. Unfortunately, the bed sometimes gets fairly gritty, as our cat brings in caliche from the drive, attached to his paws and fur. So Master laughed and began to clean off the sheet, while I went to the potty. When I came back He held the covers up so I could slip into bed. As I laid down, His voice grew concerned as He touched a spot on my left hip. "Does this hurt?" He asked as He touched it. "No, I replied sleepily, " it feels like a mosquito bite, sort of itches." " Hold still" He commanded.
I wrapped my self around His sitting form as He squeezed the spot. I screamed as He squeezed it. " This is weird " He said, as He pulled something out, which he said looked like a long hair. My eyes were closed with tears , I never looked. Then He began to clean the wound in earnest, and I felt the infection as it left my body, along with a pain that felt like an unrelenting hot poker. My screams went unheeded as I laid without moving, held by invisible bonds of discipline. He had found an unnoticed cyst that had gotten fairly large. He cleaned it out completely, ignoring my screams as he used a needle and Neosporin to finish the job.It felt like the torture went on for hours, I am sure it was only a few minutes. Still, the release was complete, as I let go of weeks and months of pent up anxiety and rage, left bottled up from my crazy, chaotic, vanilla life. Master finished up with a bandage, and held me for a minute as my breathing calmed. He covered me as my eyes were closing. " Good night" He said as he turned of the lights. I was snoring before He shut the door. :)
I love you Master. |
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Master doesn't like me to play diaper games. I hate sneaking around. I am sad:( |
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I have been a brat all day. Master finally had enough, put me over His knee and spanked me. :0 |
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Master put my new pink leather cuffs on me today. " Just to remind you, that you belong to ME!" He growled, as He put them on. Admittedly I had been telling Him about a guy I had been chatting with, who lives in Portugal for Pete's sake!
I never forget who owns me, but I am reminded every second today.:)
I love you Master |
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The Punishment:
This Blog is a punishment. Ordered by Master.
It should be understood that Master rarely , almost never, orders me to write.
This morning, afternoon really, I got up to the alarm ( sort of) got dressed and went to my dental appointment. I didn't take my medicine when I got up
1. Master was asleep and I didn't want to disturb Him.
2. I was afraid of running late.
3. I didn't know how my medicine would interact with my Dentist visit.
I had plenty of opportunity during the rest of the day however, so my excuses are lame at best.
Master found out not too long ago that I had been remiss in taking my medicine today. He told me my punishment would be 100 strokes. He came into the bedroom and told me to bend over. He had in His hand the blue flogger. Miraculously it has been found, and was not in with our missing items.
I found out tonight. I bent over, knees straight, and dropped my shorts to the ground. My diaper was pulled down, but still able to catch if I leaked, as I have been holding for hours.
Master began to whip me, some hard, some so soft as to be sensuous. Some were sharp as they fell. I counted each one out loud. Usually I don't count but this was punishment. Master did not order me to do so, but He did not stop me either. I was crying by the end.
Then Master forbade me from going to the bathroom or using my diaper while He went to the store. I had a sneeze while He was gone and wet a little. I was honest about it though He would not have known had I not informed Him. He said He will spank me further using His hand. I hope it is over His knee.
I believe this is the only use of the computer I will be allowed this evening, as I am in trouble. I will ask Master if I may further humiliate myself with some corner time. Perhaps He will say yes. I hope I can find the zip ties. I thought of a cool way to use the new pink cuffs
I promise to be more regular about my medicine, Master.
I love you. |
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My apologies to everyone that tried to talk to me today. This site just wasn't cooperating. Chat wouldn't work and the whole damned site is slow. I am not complaining, you get what you pay for and I have been riding free here for years. The upshot is that I still haven't found a regular cyber play partner, nor the Real time little day care, I am looking for. |
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Last night I played by myself while Master was asleep. I flooded my diaper which had several layers and was bulky and big. At one point I walked around the house with a soggy soaked diaper, just wishing I had someone to humiliate me and spank me for being so naughty.
This morning Master told me to clean up my mess. I had left my shorts in the bathtub, and my stinking soaked diaper in the bathroom trash. Master asked me several times to clean it up. He finally made a whip out of a towel. He has a way of folding a towel that leaves a leaf like impression where it hits, and it stings like Hell. A few hits with that towel and I was ready to clean the bathroom. A few more hits and I washed the dishes as well. It is amazing what a motivator that thing can be.
Master put me in a diaper and told me I was not allowed to use the toilet for pee, although He said I could use it for #2. However, I begged Him to let me use the toilet and he finally agreed. I told Him I would flood the diaper, there was so much pee. That was several hours ago and I need to pee again, but I think I don't really want to go through the mess and resultant cleanup again. Right now, I am just getting desperate. |
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I am not the greatest housekeeper in the world. In fact I am just plain lousy at it. Add that to the fact that I must sell my house, and well, the place is a disaster area. However, in spite of that I know where things are, generally.
I left town for a month, three years of not seeing my grandkids finally got to me, and I arranged a trip to Hawaii to visit them ( poor me ).
Master was helping me pack before I left, and in helping me look for some item I just had to have ( my diving boots I think), He came across our toy bag. In fact, this was the GOOD toy bag. It contained four sets of handcuffs, leg shackles, my pink leather cuffs, my leather blindfold, my penis gag, and my favorite blue suede flogger. This was the stuff Master and I most often played with. It was in a black tyvek bag. Anyway, He came across the bag and we joked that it would probably not be a good thing to take on my trip, as I didn't want to explain those things to the TSA. He looked around for a good place to stash it. The toy box would have been the correct place, but it was covered with other boxes and not easy to get to. Master looked around for another place and I , being tired and just wanting to finish packing, told Him to just leave it in the box He had picked it up from. I knew where it was and it was on top of the pile. I finished packing and left for my trip.
While I was gone my son's ex and her new "husband" showed up to get her stuff from said son's storage trailer ( trailer has to go before I sell) . It was a hot day and Master let them cool down in the bedroom under the A/C. Now, I feel I owe one to the ex, as she was the one who led me down the garden path that showed me the BDSM lifestyle and ultimately helped me choose Master.
Fast forward a few weeks and I have returned from the vacation. Master and I had a tiff, and when I returned home I had in mind some play to soothe us both. I came in and looked in the box. No toys. I asked Master about them. He looked. No toys. We started cleaning and packing and still no toys. All we found was a single condom that had been in the bag. The only conclusion I can draw is that the ex, or her mate, took them. However, I can't be sure as MY ex tends to come over and wander about when Master and I aren't around. He tends to claim stuff as his own, that I would rather claim myself, but in order to stay on agreeable terms, I generally do not argue with him, most of what he has taken was jointly acquired anyway. Though not those toys. He does have an affinity for handcuffs though.
Anyway I am tired, discouraged and depressed. Those items add up to hundreds of dollars we don't have. Besides the loss of trust. And no, it wasn't an everyday thief that took them, as there were several piggy banks with change close to the stolen bag. They were untouched.
Sigh.....I may never play again, certainly not the way we did. |
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Master and I had a long day. We both worked hard today, Master especially so. Tonight when we came home, I didn't even try for the computer, instead going to the bedroom and watching TV. However, after a while, Master came in and offered me a turn, so I took advantage of it.
I was happily playing my game when Master came down the hall, jangling the handcuffs. " Not now!" I thought, but for once, kept my thoughts to myself, as Master went to the playroom. Master said nothing, and went back to the bedroom. I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe He wasn't going to play tonight. Then back He came, the blue flogger in hand ( my favorite, of all Master's spanking implements, I might add) . He pointed to the playroom. The look on my face gave me away. "You can leave the computer on" He said. "Well, at least this wasn't going to take long" I thought. Again, I kept quiet, offering no resistance as he cuffed my hands to the bar mounted in "the Room" . He pulled down my diaper and I moaned as He hit me, lightly at first, but with increasing intensity. A few minutes later he stopped. " There " He said, "that is your fifty."
Suddenly He felt my pussy and used His finger on me. I moaned. He rarely does that and it felt good. He turned off the lights and I felt the head of a dildo poking me. " When did He get a strap on?" I thought. The height was wrong, and the angle not working though. Suddenly the lights came back on. "Bedroom" was all he said, and suddenly I realized the "Dildo" was His extremely hard , large dick! He laughed as I scooted down the hall, my diapers tangling around my ankles. I assumed my position post haste and Master rammed His throbbing member in my waiting pussy. I squeezed and used my vaginal muscles to try and rhythmically stroke Him. It must of worked because suddenly He dug His nails into my sore ass and exploded inside me. He used His hand to spank me as my convulsions wore down, causing me to squeeze again.
I am so glad I submitted tonight without question. Master is finally getting me trained...or tamed, at least sometimes :)
BTW I got in the mood! |
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I kicked Master:
We were sleeping at my Mom's . We go over twice a week and sleep over in order to get her trash out in time for the pickup. Her city still uses plastic bags without bins, and animals tear it up if left overnight. So two nights a week we spend the night and take care of that chore. The bed we use is the guest bed, one which my son used before he went off to college. The mattress has a definite downhill side and uphill side. We never rest very well on it. I usually get uphill side and spend most of the night trying to get comfortable. Last time we were over, Master stirred as I crawled back into bed after a potty break ( I don't use my diaper over there if I can avoid it). He tried to grab my foot with His, but instead scraped His claws ( long toenails) over the ticklish middle part of my foot. It tickled and burned like fire at the same time. I pulled away. He grabbed toward me again ( He uses His feet to trap my foot and hold me in place). He can accomplish this while fully asleep. He again caught my foot just right and I felt fire in my foot. I pulled away again. The third time He tried, I back kicked, hard, and caught Him on His calf. He came out of bed like a shot and hit me hard on my ass. I had a diaper on so it really didn't hurt. He limped around for a minute as I tried not to laugh. He was SO pissed. I got Him to calm down and let me massage it so it didn't hurt so bad.
I apologized profusely for hurting Him. He knows I am dangerous. I just can't help myself sometimes.
He says He is going to hobble me at night from now on. Thankfully He has not yet done so, nor even punished me. I get out of a lot of punishments because He forgets how mad He was.
I will try not to hurt Master.
I will try not to hurt Master.
I will try not to hurt Master.
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Wearing a diaper that needs to be used. |
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This wouldn't be news here.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/01/james-horn_n_7191032.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000021 |
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Master was pissed. His orders had not been carried out satisfactorily and His slave was in trouble and knew it. Little Girl had been bad and not done her chores by the time Master got home. The bed was still unmade, clothes were unfolded and she was in bed watching TV when the door opened. Master had peeked in the door and seen the disarray. Lil Girl had needed to pee badly, but was waiting for her show to be over. Now the urge really hit when she saw Master. Master told her to go stand in the corner. Lil Girl knew she was in for it, usually when Master had her in the corner He allowed her to sit. As Lil girl scampered past Master to the punishment room she caught a glimpse of a stranger behind Master. Master turned and apologized to the gentleman, for His slave’s lack of preparedness. As Lil girl went past the bathroom she started to turn in, to go pee before she had to stand in that awful corner. “Where do you think you are going?" asked Master. Lil Girl replied she had to go pee pee. Usually Master allowed her to go potty without permission; after all he was TRYING to potty train her.
“No” He said, “Go stand in the corner NOW!” So she did, aware that Master had a grin on His face as He turned to speak to His guest.
“Come on” He told the man, “Let me fix you a drink. “
That was all Lil Girl heard as she headed for her corner. She shivered, all she had on was a diaper and jeans, she had not had time to put a top on before being caught by Master. She heard the door open, it always made her jump. She heard the belt leaving its loops and gasped as Master grabbed her hair and pushed her off balance, till she was leaned over, holding the wall for support. “ Are you wet yet? “ Master growled in her ear. “ Not yet Master” though Lil girl could hardly hold it in. “Thwack” The belt hit her across the ass bringing her to her toes as ten swats hit her hard. Master didn’t hold back, knowing she had the padding of the jeans and the diaper to protect her.
“ I have to go to the store Lil Girl. I am leaving my guest to enjoy his drink and to keep an eye on you. He will tell me if you come out or make noise. If you are a very good girl and can hold your pee til I come back, I will reward you with your favorite…a hard dick popsicle. But if you are wet when I return not only am I going to spank you till you can’t sit down, I am going to stick that hard cock in your ass…..with only your pee for lube…I know you just LOVE that!”
Lil Girl knew perfectly well that Master knew how she hated to be taken in the ass…He didn’t do it often and it was for His pleasure, not hers, the pain was excruciating…after all Master was no small man when He was aroused! Lil Girl wiggled herself to get more comfortable…..she was sure she could hold her pee….she had done it before. Master was chuckling as He went out. In a moment she heard the front door close and then the sounds of Masters pickup getting fainter as He left the grounds. She didn’t have time to think of much, trying not to concentrate on her bladder, listening to the quiet house. She heard the door to the punishment room open. She jumped….she had forgotten about the guest. She started to turn around but remembered this guest was liable to tell Master if she moved.
He came up behind her, not quite brushing up against her as he whispered in her ear. Hi Lil Girl, I’m going to be your new Daddy. Lil Girl took her breath in. Your Master has made certain arrangements with me. You know your Master is a sadist, not really into your diaper play. Lil Girl took in another breath, Master did prefer His sadistic play, she knew He only tolerated her Little. This new man continued to talk, close to her ear, so she could hear every word. “ I will be taking over your diaper training” he said. You will call me Daddy, not Master. “Yes Daddy” she whispered back. When you are with me you are not allowed to touch your diaper or yourself. You may not use the big girl potty and I will change you when I am ready to, not when you ask.
An unexpected shiver ran through her.
“Good girl” he said, putting his arms around her and squeezing her belly slightly. “ Do you want to pee for me?”
“ Oh yes, Daddy. But if I do Master will beat me and use me horribly” She stood there, moving her legs, fighting the urge that so badly wanted release.
“I know” chuckled Daddy. “That is what makes this so delicious.”
Suddenly Lil Girl felt the man undo her jeans, the zipper sounding loud in the quiet house. Then she felt him pull her diaper back as his finger went in, checking. “ Yes, you are dry” he stated, “ Well we will fix that. “
She felt his fingers withdraw and heard another zipper. She began to panic. Was he going to rape her while her Master was away? She felt the head of his penis against the crack of her butt. Then she felt something warm begin to grow and soak the diaper. He was peeing in her dry diaper! She could smell it as the wadding between her legs began to grow heavy and sag. “ There”, the new Daddy said.” Now no matter what, your Master will find you wet.”
She heard the door close as he left, and almost immediately heard the pickup pulling into the drive. Suddenly, her own pee came, in buckets it seemed, as the pee overflowed the overfull diaper, spilling over and wetting her pants, running down her legs and pooling at her feet. |
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I got so much accomplished today:)
Master and I had a day of it helping my mom out today. He and I had not been on the same page, and fussed with each other all day. Master had tried really hard to be helpful, but I was being a brat because I did not get my way with some things.
He let me stop by my friends on the way home. Her day was going worse than mine, and I think we were both glad to share horror stories.
Afterwards, as I was in a much mellower mood, I hatched a plan. Sometimes you just have to state what you want. When we got home it was still light and I told Master I wanted to go out back and get something from the storage trailer. He agreed readily and even found the keys and drove me back there. When we got out of the truck I told Him I really needed to pee and hadn't said anything when we had stopped at the house. He just looked at me and grinned. He knew I was wearing a diaper. " Pee" He ordered. I concentrated and forced some pee out, enough to feel the diaper start to fill. Then I went in the trailer and with Masters help, located what I wanted and got it. When we got back to the house Master told me to go shower and clean up. Instead I begged Him to let me stay in my wet diaper some.
The playroom/guest room/ Masters creative space/ storage area, was a mess. One couldn't even walk in safely. I begged Master to let me start cleaning it up, in my wet nasty state. He acquiesced and I spent the next several hours cleaning and organizing the room. As I worked, every so often I would force a little more pee out. I got hot and during one of my trips to another room, I asked Master if I could take off my shirt and bra and go topless as I worked. He stood up and walked over to me. He pulled off my top clothes and squeezed my nipples, hard. A little more pee came out. At one point, I felt it spill out of the overloaded diaper and down the legs of my jeans. I didn't tell Master and as He turned on the A/C, the pee would dry somewhat and then I would pee again, keeping myself in a constant state of warm wet and cooling off as evaporation took place. Occasionally I would get a whiff of myself, smelling the urine on me. I continued to work and Master would occasionally come in and check on me.
Finally, I had the room organized and much stuff put away. It won't be hard to change it to a temporary guest area, or a work station for Master as he needs it. Most importantly though, there is a free corner for me to stand or sit in for time outs. The ceiling rings are accessible, so I can be tied up easily. There is even a topper that can serve as a slave bed so I can be punished overnight.
Once I was through, I asked Master to come inspect my work. He was very happy with the space I had made. He agreed to my request to take pictures. I had to stand in the corner waiting for Him to prepare the camera. He then got some shots of me flooding my jeans, plus some of my overloaded diaper. Afterwards He allowed me to drop my wet clothes around my ankles and gave me twenty hard swats with the braided belt :):O
Then I was made to take a shower and start washing clothes.
That reminds me, I just heard the dryer go off...time for another load!
Master said it will be a few days, but I will put the pictures up on here, once He gets them edited! |
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Well isn't this just grand. I am unable to sign in with my yahoo account. I can get there trough the mail function, but not the handy dandy little desktop icon. So for now I am stuck chatting though the cs chat, which everyone knows is a suck ass system. But better than yahoo with it's extreme security features. |
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Thank you to the cyber dom that played with me this evening. thanks to all who replied. Now I am sitting in wet pants. ( shower soon to come , sir) |
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| Age: 29 |
| BRUSSELS,
Belgium |
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