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Little Girl has lost her Daddy :(
We met here on CM, we were together for a year and then married for five years. My Daddy made me very happy and filled my heart with love. He spoiled me with affection, attention and trips to Disney. He told me over and over that he was the happiest he has ever been in his whole life and only wished he had found me sooner. His last words on this earth as he died in my arms too soon from cancer were, "I love you." I could not have asked for anything more, except more time.
So, I'm broken hearted and at times filled with overwhelming grief. But there is also a side of me that is strong, resilient, smart and knows that if I found happiness before, then I can find it again.
We didn't need costumes or even pretend roll playing (though I'm open to that). We were just ourselves, each fulfilling or deepest needs and true desires. Having my heart openly and lovingly given to the person I call "Daddy" is more meaningful to my soul than some man demanding I call him sir or master. Demands don't work. Tapping into my true desires to serve, to please, to adore, to make myself vulnerable and trust in my Love is what gives me inner peace. Knowing that I made Daddy happy as he calls me his sweet little Princess makes my heart overfill with joy.
And should I ever fail to please Daddy, then a spanking or a time out may be in order. I'm not a brat. I don't do bratty things just for attention. But I do have a tongue that seems to work before my brain does. If Daddy isn't happy, then that makes me very sad. I will do everything I possible so we can both be happy. And if, God forbid, Daddy is ever actually mad, then well, thankfully I never had to experience that but I fear my heart would crumble and I don't think I would like the discipline that would follow.
Another piece of me is that I have a bear. His name is Fuzzy and he's been with me since I was seven, which seems to be my inner child age. He likes to watch tv when NatGeo is showing Grizzly Bears in Jellowstone. He loves Disney, bed time stories and when Daddy takes Fuzzy at bed time, with one of his friends and plays bears for his Princess, making up some fanciful story. Nothing more, not diamonds, not jewels, not champagne or caviar fill my heart with more love and joy than Daddy playing bears with his Princess.
Now, to be honest, as I like to be and expect others to be, I suppose some people might call me a BBW, though I don't personally like the label. I'm 5'9" with a long history of being very athletic (athlete of the year, twice in high school) so I have a solid muscle structure...underneath the soft curves, large breasts, big butt and pudgy tummy. I'm nearing 42 and I fear my "free pass" on being completely healthy may be ending, so I am also making an effort to be more active and make better food choices. Not a diet, but a gradual life style change. Making changes for better health that I can live with for the rest of my life. So far, I've lost 35 lbs. I feel better and am very happy with my progress. And if Daddy wants to help give me some "encouragement" here, that would be welcome.
I also love, love, love adventure, travel, the beach, boating, all water activities, Disney (did I mention Disney yet) movies, Survivor, trying new things and being open minded.
Things I really can not stand are liars and smoke. I'm allergic to smoke and it makes me physically ill. But I can accept a light outside smoker.
I am personally attracted to larger and taller men.
I am also attracted to older men, who are still pretty healthy and active. I want to be seen for my inner worth, so in turn, I keep an open mind to all possibilities.
So... if this sounds like a pleasant compliment to what you seek, then we can start a communique which will hopefully develop into a meaningful and rewarding relationship for both of us. I am a real person, not a pretender. I don't live in a fantasy world but I am in touch with what my deepest desires are. I'm college educated, had a very successful career and have monthly income that is enough to support myself. I'm not shy by nature. I tend to be more direct than indirect. I communicate, write and listen very well. I am a very capable person, on most levels and I've been told that I'm a good cook.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Princess.
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