i hear you although im looking out the window ..................
i wanna look at you .................... but im afraid youll see whats lurking deep in the pit of me.............
Youve seen it all befor.................. i havent shown it all befor please reach in and drag it out of me............. dont wait just take its yours i just cant let go ,

i cant give you have to take dont you see the only one whos going to get it wil take it .

just take it bring me back to mibulation land .

fight or flight i have to fight .

doesnt mean your not right ...........

just means im playing hide and seek but not on purpose its by accident .

spaghetti

look at this spaghetti its a tangeled mess....
lets wipe clean the spaghetti because under all the mess is a nice clean plate...........

a gift........................ A CURSE.

Thankyou so much to gabbigurl and gypsy befor her your words sang through my ears like the morning chorus , i would never normaly use others words but they captured me explains who i am ............

i am a woman that is not retarded, nor mentally handicapped, nor am i a doormat to be walked over or taken advantage of. I am one that tends to be stuck in a younger age.   Most "real" little girls,  like me,  have above average IQs and are very successful in life.   There is nothing wrong with us except the fact we have the emotions and likes of a child.  Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you still have the imagination of a child?   Do you remember when people would tell you that something was impossible and yet you thought up so many ways it could be done. As adults, you just take their word for it and move on.    Little girls don't, We still create and try to do the impossible.   We also have the support of our Daddy's, who we love to snuggle up to. We often think Chocolate cake is a food group and can prove it.    Eggs, flour, milk... see... it is. or at least in our minds it is.  If it was up to us our house would have faireies every where glitter and pritty things ...  Some of us make a choice to find a Daddy Dom. We need him to be the center of our universe. We need him to guide us, protect us and love us. We adore him for the guidance he offers. Giving him complete power over our lives is something we live for as he has earned our total trust and respect.

Not every man can be a "daddy" dom...  He is one that wants to be the center of my universe.  No other person will ever hold the place that he does in my life. He sees in me more than i see in myself...  i rely on him for structure in my day.  He puts me to bed, wakes me up, talks to me about the list of goals to accomplish that day, tells me what to wear, what to cook and when to have it ready. all the while making sure i am happy and all is well in my/our world.  It is a total power exchange, where Daddy really does know best and is always in full control, and this girl loves it that way.  And with all that you just read,  yes there is discipline.  There must be to maintain progress and respect. If his little girl can out wit him or manipulate him, she will soon lose respect for him and all efforts are lost.  A good Daddy will ask questions. He will understand why his little girl did what she did.  He will be fair in his punishment and have it be a learning experience. Sometimes for both parties.  He will even ask what i think of what he has chosen for punishment and if I think it is fair. Of course if I liked it, it wouldn't be a punishment, however he is concerned that I do understand why he has chosen what he did and that I learn from it. Some daddy's make you sit or stand in a corner, and some simply spank but with whatever punishment that is given he makes sure I have learned something so Iam a better person or have a better understanding of what he needs from me.

im a little girl in a grown up world im not a freek or perverted i just got stuck here on my way somewhere else .....................

i will defiantly look at you ......... if i want

i need you to stop me ......... peel my clothes off  strip me bare  i dnt care ...

slap my face make my ears ring  and cheeks sting i'm still looking at you with the same defiant eyes........

pull my hair keep my stare  i dnt care......

i do not give ............... but ......... if you take , theres not very much i can do about that

if you hold my hand...........

if you hold my hand my palm will sweat....
my fingers will wriggle and my heart will pound,

take my hand and its a whole different story .........................

Although my writes here are deep and down beat by no means am i broken , im alert and as alive as ever dont fooled by rambles im mearly expressing ............. im still awake

"Oh my heart can’t carry much more
It’s really, really aching and soar
My heart don’t care anymore
I really can’t bear more
My hands don’t work like before
I shiver and I scrape at your door
My heart can’t carry much more

But you couldn’t care less
Could you
Your face don’t look like before
It’s really not like yours anymore
Your eyes don’t like me no more
They quiver and they shift to the floor
My heart don’t beat like before
It’s never been this lone
No my blood don’t flow anymore

And you couldn’t care less
Could you
Could we stop and sleep for a spare
We can turn this stitch into a ware
And send that old devil back to hell
But we don’t care do we

Baby let’s stop and sleep for a spare
We can turn this stitch into a ware
And send that old devil back to hell
Your back’s not straight like before
You really shouldn’t care in me no more
I’m much too heavy for you
I’m really quite a mess, yes
We just don’t care anymore
We’re wicked and were cut to the core
We’re just not there anymore
But we really don’t care do we
No, we couldn’t care less
We couldn’t care less
Could we?"