I brought this over from a previous profile that would not let people view it. They represent my musings over the last year.

Saw this - THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HORNY......

 The way his voice shakes when you are in charge.

More appropriate to me - The way my voice shakes when i try and tell a Woman that my desire is to completely submit to Her. That i desire to be Her slut.

The ultimate act of submission is "all in my head". my first "sexual" experiences all involved older girls in the neighborhood. Each time i fulfilled their curiosities, desires and pleasures and left to relieve myself by masturbating for them to watch or when i got home. i always felt ashamed and humiliated by what the had me do but it was always so sexually exciting that i was powerless to resist. in fact there were times that i begged them for more. While i didn't know it at the time, these girls had found out how to take me into subspace where i'm utterly powerless and submissive.

As i grew older, i have met Women who took me to a level of subspace where i submitted to or begged for acts that i had always thought were too shameful or humiliating for me to do. Again, because of being so powerless when in subspace i did these things willingly and never was forced. On such ting was being naked, in a cb6000 and on my knees licking Her clean after watching Her have sex with a Man. Another was submitting to Her desire to see me suck a Man's cock while She and the Man's wife watched. Finally, She kept me in a CB6000 for an extended period, my only relief (if you can call it that) was prostate milking which she sometimes did in front of other people. The truly crazy part is that I wanted to be kept from cuming because it made it so much easier to stay submissive and in subspace with Her.

"I want to fuck you, sissy slave,." She growls. And I know without even being told that she doesn't mean using my cockette at all. 

I lie there on my back, watching her put the strap-on dildo on, feeling this...deep feeling of surrender course through my body. That this is my fate, and I should accept it, surrender to it. I am her fucktoy and plaything, and if it should please her to use me as a girl then I will be her girl, now and forever.

She tells me to stay on my back, has me pull down my panties, spread my legs wide and in the air...omg...she's really going to fuck me like a girl! We've never done this before.

She teases me, rubs the larger strap-on against my smaller cockette as if mocking it, reenforcing the fact that I am not a man anymore (in the usual sense of it) and that i will never experience 'normal' sex as a man ever again. She lubes up and enters me without much difficulty at all...ohhhhh goddd.....

And it feels amazing. To be taken by Mistress, I felt swept away in the feelings of submission and...a kind of deep mental feminization, and the incredible physical sensation of her fucking me, my cockette rubbing between us.

I melted under the physical and mental feelings, I wanted nothing more than to be fucked like that by her forever. If she had demanded it I would have agreed with all my body, heart and soul to surrender my cockette to permanent chastity in exchange to only having my sexual pleasure given at the end of her dildo. I felt myself wanting to cum...cum from being fucked in the ass! And it took effort not to let myself go when all I wanted was to just give into the sheer animal inside me, and cum all over the place. I wanted her to rape me...and moved my wrists underneath her hands for her to hold down..

Anything that brings me sexual pleasure always has a strong component of shame and humiliation: Being shamed is the very heart of my sexual enjoyment. Thus, of all the possible sexual situations, none is so proper for me as servicing another with her mouth. My proper place is on my knees.

I find that i'm very interested in the whole notion of "Deep Throat" service. i'm wondering how many Woman / Mistress's train their sissy / subbie or cuck to deep throat either for the enjoyment of Mistress or Her friends? Drop me a not.

More tease and denial....

i have been spending time in "Worship" each morning. 15 minutes kneeling, focusing all my thoughts on Mistress and slowing stroking my penis but not allowing an orgasm and never going beyond the "point of no return". There is alway a fair amount of pre-com but several time there have been several drops of cum but never an orgasm. This morning, i was caught by surprise when several drops became a rather large puddle of cum in my hand and with out an orgasm, no pulsing or spurting, just a flow of ejaculate. As i said it simply flowed with out any pulsations or muscle contractions. In addition, during all of the worship period and release, i never did get a full erection, just somewhat firm.

i had milked my self for Mistress and yes, i did clean up the mess. It is also important to note that unlike having an orgasm, my submissiveness and sexual frustration didn't dwindle and my sexual arousal remains undiminished.