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| I crave to be degraded,humilated and abused. My ultimate dream is to be dehumanized no longer consider human. I have lived as a slave real for years and desire to go deeper. An object, a pet, a cow or pig. I have gotten just a taste of these desires and i know this is my true place. I AM NOT A MASO!!! For all the sadists out there please understand this. I endure pain as part of my place. I do not get excited by it. While I expect abuse and even torture it is not the main craving I seek to explore.
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I have received alot of mail since opening this account. Some asking questions, some telling me I need professional help for feeling this way. But most seem to be offering a compromise that they will allow me to"act" what I what if I give them total control. I am having a hard time understanding this. If you become an object you have already given them total control. If you allow yourself to be the animal for them you have already given up choice. My problem is that i don't want to be someone's slut to earn the right to then be treated in the manner I need. I hope to find someone that craves to treat me the way i need.
Then of course you have the ones that after a few emails feel they own you and tell you things now I should walk a state away to go them. Is anyone for real? Does everyone think of this as a game? Does everyone expect that a few good email communications means it's time to make my choice to go them forever? Does anyone understand what I truly seek and how life changing it is?
I have started back on the road myself. I sleep on the floor only using a blanket on the coldest of nights, never using a pillow. I dream of sleeping in a cage or a box or shackled in a basement or barn. Hooded constantly, faceless thing for entertainment. I have reduced my food intake, eating from the floor. I find myself using less and less of my furniture.
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| Age: 32 |
| DC,
Washington D.C. |
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