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So I am not perfect.
Sometimes I do things the wrong way. Sometimes I get bored of people. Im not always nice, though I spend a lot of time trying to be. To be palatable to a general population. And I am usually pretty good at it.
Being good at being palatable annoys me. It makes me exhausted. And when I get bored and exhausted, then whats the point?
The thing is, I can be really creative. And when I get to light that fire, then its not so hard to be palatable and do routine, boring tasks anymore.
The other thing is, I am a sadist. Not as a general outlook on life, but as a sexual being? I like to inflict experiences onto a person. I like toying with them, and seeing them writhe in pleasure. In pain. In interest, and fulfillment. In fear. In heat and cold. In joy. In horror.
I like to elicit these things from a person who I am sexually interested in. I want to make them toil for their release. I want them to grow and succeed. I want to burden them with pleasure that they cant release. And sometimes I even want to steal it from them. Because sometimes I am not very nice. But sometimes I want to make them think all is lost, and the wring it from them unexpectedly. Because I am capricious.
And sometimes I want to wring them over and over again until they cannot stand out of exhaustion. And sometimes I want to scare away their fears because I guess sometimes I can be an okay person.
I want to play with someones mind in a mostly good way, and have them achieve their dreams, but also maybe scream for hours sometimes.
Is that a thing?
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