I have marks on my neck from a dog collar. It’s funny how being treated like a piece of shit whore is so calming, freeing, relaxing for me.

After I met my new guy a week ago… I immediately knew that I had to see daddy again… I had left him a week prior.
Even though I enjoyed myself with the new guy, it was pretty vanilla other than the conscious pregnancy risk (I did take plan b the day after tho) & talking about a certain fantasy I have that he has the means to make happen 🐶… and immediately after I just couldn’t stop thinking about daddy. That’s when my brain accepted defeat and accepted I’m daddy’s and he is daddy not James like I was trying to retrain my brain into thinking of him as.

So daddy walked me out into the woods by my hair. He handed me a dog collar and leash. He said he took it off his dog & he had thought about buying me a new one but he didn’t think I deserved it. I agreed with him. He wasn’t lying either, there was a faint scent of dog as he handed it to me. I clutched it with both hands up near my chest as he further berated me, and slapped me in the face. He choked me and asked me questions and left me just enough air to answer him. When he said he was gonna put the collar on I thought ok but didn’t do or say anything and he stared at me for a few seconds before calling me stupid and telling me to lift up my hair and that he forgets how fucking retarded I am. He talked some more shit to me while jerking my head around by the little handle on the collar before clipping on the leash and pulling me along behind him. The ground was damp but I still got on my knees and happily sucked and slurped on his cock when he told me to. He fucked my face a bit. Made me walk a bit more before tying the other end of the leash to a tree and bent me over and fucked me and pulled on the leash hard. Whipped my ass and thighs a bit with a tree branch. Eventually came all over my face and tits while jerking off over me while I was on my knees on the dirty damp ground with my panties and jeans still down.

Last night I had said something about how he doesn’t follow through with some things we talk about. He explained to me that it’s hard for him to treat me this way because he cares about me and he has to try turn that off in order to treat me like that. I mean that is a good thing, but it is frustrating because we both enjoy it, I ask for it, it’s what I enjoy the most & I don’t want someone else doing it.

Another thing… I was not brave enough to bring this up but hopefully I will sometime soon. When I wasn’t talking to daddy… and I thought about him fucking someone else (one of his kid’s moms, we actually had a threesome with her when I first met him when I was pregnant) & even though it hurts me a bit it really turns me on, like when he fucked her beside me it pissed me off and made me sad and weird but it was so hot I still remember her cute little moans and squeaks and the sound of her pussy getting wetter. When he said she sucked his cock better than me it pissed me off but it made me try harder when it was my turn again. Since I was pregnant I got all his loads in my pussy, she didn’t get any of his cum that night and it made me feel superior, especially when she was licking his ass while he came inside me. At first it was the other way around he was fucking her and I licked his ass and he almost came but was like nope you’re not allowed my cum and she was like yeah :( I wish.
Even though I enjoyed the little bit of power struggle between her and I, and feeling superior about getting his cum, I would really love to get us all together again and feel like the inferior one. I want to be their fluffer, have him tell me how much tighter and better her pussy is, maybe demonstrate the difference in tightness by seeing how many fingers he can slip in with ease.
I want to text her but I over think too much. She has tried to text me a couple times long time ago trying to be friends but I wasn’t quite there yet. Then about six months ago she had added me on Facebook, after I had expressed a fantasy to daddy about us all and I think it was about me dominating her a bit. When I tried to talk to her she said she was busy and she’d message me later… never did, but would ‘like’ some of my posts, even some old profile pics so she was obviously creepin… I got annoyed and deleted her after a month. Now in hindsight I think she was probably just shy and intimidated… and obviously a little insecure and jealous or something seeing as right after adding me she had posted a picture of him and their kid, with absolutely no picture or even mention of him on her page prior to that… & a couple other little things. Actually when I left him 2 weeks ago, the final straw was when I decided to be nosy and look on her page and she had just posted a picture of him and their kid and his other kid, out in nature doing a family thing. It was stupid really. It doesn’t actually effect what’s between him and I. After that threesome I came home and wrote in my journal, like an actual paper journal, and gushed about how amazing he is and how much fun I had and questioned what exactly their relationship is and could I fit into it in the long term. So none of this is new, but I guess what it comes down to is ego… I have a huge ego & it often gets its way even when it is not benefitting me. A lot of things come down to my ego actually. That’s why I like being treated like a cheap whore- it’s impossible to have an ego when your tongue is buried in 35 year old man ass. Even more impossible when you fucking love licking that man ass and feel like you belong there and actually don’t even find it degrading at all, it just feels like home.