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| Happily owned submissive female, looking for friends.
If you're local and want someone to be a familiar face - for example, to meet for coffee before heading to events, let me know, I'm always happy to meet new people and have an awesome circle of friends in the lifestyle as well.
No matter how much it seems hopeless, be it here or somewhere else, and no matter how long it may take... each of us finds what we need even if we don't know what we are looking for when we start searching. Whatever you want, don't give up, don't settle.
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For those in Calgary who are submissives or bottoms looking to connect, there's a new educational group for submissives meeting every two weeks, male and female are both welcome. If you're interested please send me a message and I can put you in touch with the organizers. |
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What I'm finding frustrating right now is that I'm on here, talking to lovely people - on a potential friendship base - and then they vanish. I want to reply to a previous message, or let them know about an event coming up, and it's all "account no longer exists" for many of them. I get all disappointed about it. |
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It's been a couple months now since I wrote, life is still going well. Is my relationship perfect? Hell no, but then, whose is? It's a good one though. If I had one piece of advice to give that was going to be listened to (yeah, right I know, but still), it would be a reminder that BDSM relationships are NOT and never will be a one size fits all. Just because someone isn't a fit for you does NOT mean they are a 'bad Dom' or not a 'true sub', it just means they aren't right for you. (If they do something you consider extremely unsafe, that's a different matter). Seriously though, if someone's views or kinks don't mesh with yours, it would be great to keep in mind that that doesn't make either you or the other person wrong or bad!
kthxbai :D |
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As my profile says... I'm not looking, I have what I want, what I need. Happy in the relationship I have with my Master.
However, if you're reading this and you're a submissive female, Master is poly and often interested in getting to know other females.
I'd go on about how wonderful he is, but we all know I'm biased ;) |
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I'm trying to figure out if I believe in second chances... if I believe someone can change... if I can trust again.
I don't think I can, I don't think it's that easy. I never signed up for the simple route... but... somehow it seems things are far more complicated than I'd have anticipated. No one can get me through what I'm going through save myself, and I think it's a road that has to be walked alone. |
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I'm going to my first workshop tonight, my second foray into the world of public kink in about the last 4 years, the first being the kinky flea market in April. That barely counts of course on the basis that it was shopping and thus completely impossible to resist... |
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Another day, another lesson learned, another way to add to things I do and don't want... |
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There's one phrase that I keep seeing, the reference to a sub "that knows her place." What is a sub's place? Wherever her Master wants it to be. If he wants her on his arm, smiling, hanging out with her friends like a vanilla girlfriend, that that is her place. If he wants her to sleep in his arms every night, that's her place. If he wants her to sleep in a dog cage in the garage, then that's her place. So a reference to knowing her place is an extremely subjective thing, if you say that, what do you mean?
For the most part I think what men who say that mean is that they want a woman who is not demanding or needy, one who will take the attention that they offer and not ask for more, not always be begging and craving more. But I honestly don't know for certain if that's what they mean. |
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Perfection. It's a term I see tossed around a lot, and it's not even possible to be perfect. What I seek is someone to love my imperfections, and to help me conquer those that I do not love. Will I ever be perfect? No, but I know that it is possible for someone to love me for who I am, and accept ever little physical, mental and emotional flaw that is a part of me. As you would expect of me. |
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How annoying, the journal on the full profile page is viewed in plain text, and to put paragraph breaks in the journal that shows up when people are doing a search requires html. So, given the choice, I'm going to guess people are more likely to be viewing in the search view rather than the whole profile.... and keep it readable in that text. |
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I don't hand out my IM info easily... why? Because there's the concept of better safe than sorry. While I do enjoy meeting new people and am not averse to eventually giving giving out IM info, or arranging to meet for coffee, I will neither hand out phone numbers nor messengers without first feeling that I know the person a little bit at least. Safety comes first.
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If I was yours, you'd want me to be taking care of myself and avoiding unecessary dangers... right? (If you wouldn't, then I'm not the girl for you) so without someone to help me with that, I still need to keep doing it, right?
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Enough said. If you want to send a message ordering me to add you on yahoo or msn and to send you a message there... then find someone else to ask that of instead. |
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I am trying to get through the messages, and have sent apologies today to those who got lost in the shuffle who I had intended to reply to and hope they will understand how complicated being on here can get! |
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I keep seeing repeated references to men who want a woman to turn over complete control immediately. I wish you all the luck in your search, however if this is what you want, please, pass on by.
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My responsibilities as a parent will always come first, they are a part of who I am, a prior obligation.
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The idea of turning over control of my choices and finances to someone I have barely come to know is honestly terrifying. For me, it would take years before I would not feel the need for the safety measure of knowing I had the ability to leave.
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I don't think this means that I'm not submissive, or not willing to enter a relationship, I see it as having a head firmly on my shoulders.
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I wish all well in their search. |
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I wonder how many other people find that songs help them to express emotions, to help identify thoughts and feelings that were inside of them.
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There's several that I connect with intensely, the one that I have identified the most with in the last few months is Evanescence's "Bring me to life"
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<a href=http://www.metrolyrics.com/bring-me-to-life-lyrics-evanescence.html>Click here for lyrics</a>
I feel like I've been numb, been sleeping, but I'm awake now but that I don't know how to be me. That self exploration is what I'm looking for right now, first of all. |
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I've worked on updating my profile in the hopes that it will help others to better understand what I'm looking for. I guess I'll see if that makes a difference. |
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So apparently I get a warning I can't be critical of others in my journal. I guess that applies for my profile too? I can be critical of myself though, and I will say that when it comes to spelling and use of the English language, I am a perfectionist. My flaw, my problem, but it's something that will show up in my reactions. Enough said? |
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So... first impressions...
Do you have any idea what it's like to receive the same message twice, from the same person, or something almost identical?
Probably, you have, most of us have.
When I get a message, I want to think great, it's genuine, you like me, you want me, you want to know me.
When I get an almost identical message again, it tells me you have something on the clipboard, that you slap in and send, to any woman within certain parameters.
It makes me feel like I'm not special, that I'm just the same as any other girl you think might let you see her naked on cam, or might spread your legs for her, or whatever else.
So... I'm not happy with this, not impressed, and I do have the right to expect certain things. My submission, my respect, it's not a given, it's a gift.
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Wow... so many people, I'm in overload already.
A few things to start off with...
I firmly believe respect is earned, not given. If this is a problem for you, then I'm the wrong girl for you to be speaking with. This is not to say that I will be disrespectful - I always strive to be courteous - but I will speak with those I meet as friends, as equals, until there is a cause for change.
Next, if I have looked at your profile and not left a message, that in no way indicates a lack of interest. Rather, I tend to have a belief that I have the right to indicate an interest - such as viewing a full profile - and sometimes I will leave a message - however I consider aggressively pursuing contact as a non-submissive act, and I am also actually quite shy.
Limits: I have them, mostly they are based on my need to maintain my health. I need to function in my work, and most importantly, I need to be able to parent effectively. Taking care of myself is a prime responsibility for me, and I need to ensure that I am able to take care of the one who is 100% dependent upon me. This will be reflected in my choices.
If you wish to know anything about me, feel free to ask. The worst that can happen is that I will decline to answer.
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| Age: 30 |
| Los angeles,
California |
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