Collarspace.com

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i will only submit to a woman but i am willing to be friends with anybody.
i am not very experienced. but i learn fast.
i will do r/l but i will not be prepared to do anything like that in an hour or a day as some people seem to think. i need time to be certain and to get to know You. and You need time to get to know me.

i love goths but it doesn't really matter. just a fascination of mine.

i don't just want sex. a relationship based on that means nothing.

i think i have written enough. i tend to talk a lot. mwah luv yah all

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9/12/2005 4:52:52 AM
i am happy.  i am completely normal. i believe there is nothing wrong with society or the world. i just can't stop smiling i'm so full of the joy of life.

are you happy now

i'm what you want me to be.

8/29/2005 4:28:17 AM
my world is crashing. i think my insides are dying.

i don't reckon i could be in a relationship of any sort right now. i would just hurt them. i do that. i say i want to die and they get angry at me because they want me around.  but right now i have nearly nothing. so whats holding me back?

and don't worry people. i'm not looking for attention or sympathy or anything at all. i just like writing my feelings. journals are good for that.     they also help sort through thoughts bouncing around my mind.

i need sleep
i haven't slept in couple of days.
my eyes are aching and they want to close but when they do i just end up thinking and than i cry and than i'm wide awake again. its a loop.

is it such a crime to run away. everyone runs away from something.  it takes courage. don't say i'm cowardly. i hate it. be quiet.

i think (as the self-help book thing said)  that my feelings are outweighing my coping factors or something like that.

i want to hide again.

8/24/2005 6:13:37 AM

i have discovered the new wonder comfort food. it is jelly.    does so much better than icecream for me.  despise what its made of though.

so human entitys..get addicted to jelly and keep denying you have any problems at all. works for me.

 


8/14/2005 4:21:16 AM
i did not know whether to write in here again or not.   i am trying to be normal.  it is harder than it sounds.  and the more i write...the more i ramble..the more i sound abnormal.   i have made a few interesting friends. had quite a few emails.   so i suppose i am happy smiley human.    might ramble about myself for a while.   Beware.   Boring words approaching.     i don't drink or do drugs or anything like that. isn't that strange for a teenager. i don't like the effects. i believe it makes you vulnerable, clouds your senses....makes you act like an idiot.   i do smoke.   my logic to that is...people...happy people..normal people who are fine with their lives shouldn't smoke.  it is pointless. but people who hate themselves and aren't particularly happy with the whole living thing can poison themselves as much as they want.   did i just shatter the illusion of normality?    if i did i suppose i should erase what i just wrote..shouldn't i.  or should i just be myself and figure if i'm looking for a relatioship of some sort that the person will see that side of me anyway.     meh...it stays.

i have my own world. it is very well constructed in my mind. i hide there often. most of the day.  if i let myself out of it than i am me again.   i don't like being me.

so i am really going to be silent now because i do still want some emails.    i don't want to scare the whole world away from me. 

8/6/2005 11:51:13 AM
i have had one e-mail. it said thanx. i told some human their nickname was legendary.
*sigh*  i can't go and find people to e-mail. i don't know what to say.
but it appears no one likes my profile. or who i am. but i speak truth.   so? the truth is good.  ha. the truth brings nothing to you. don't lie.  why would i lie? you have seen it yourself.

i am tired of being so alone.
i hate it
hate it
hate it.

meh.
bye peeps.

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sweetstrap69
 
 Age: 23
 Australia