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| I'm coming to accept that I have a submissive side.
I do fight it.
And I'll probably fight you. And test you. And be a total pain in the butt. I see this aspect of me as a vicious, growling tiger that paces back and forth. She guards the gates to my submissive self.
But I ache to submit. God, I ache so bad, my bones hurt. I have to work so hard to stuff it down or quiet it down, then keep it down and ignore it. The cycle inevitably repeats.
But I can't just submit to any man.
The longing for sex isn't enough. It is so much more to me.
Please understand that talking, even emailing about this stuff, just whacks the beehive. Hence, I don't wish to talk to men who don't live in Calgary or travel here regularly and consistently, as lovely and experienced as they may be.
Yes, men generally find me very attractive. I'm educated, sweet, and a handful. Very private. Relationship only.
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