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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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briannaCD - photo 1
briannaCD - photo 2
briannaCD - photo 3

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Come on in, dont be shy. No one will know you were peeking at my profile.

So, Ive been using the same old profile for ages, and decided it was time to make a few minor changes. So this is my new and (hopefully) improved profile. Its going to have pretty much the same ination as my old profile after all, Im still me even if Im making some adjustments to my profile, but its being re-edited and rearranged. So what youll find below is a brief disclaimer, some physical ination, some observations about my personality, a bit of my background, and finally some of my interests and hobbies (kink and mundane).

So lets jump to it with the disclaimer I mentioned. For the record, Im a crossdresser. Im a biological male who dresses in female clothing. Ok, its a bit more than that, since I also do a bit of makeup and make futile attempts to style my hair (or throw on a wig). So, in essence Im just a guy in a dress. Nothing has been modified chemically or surgically. That doesnt mean such changes wont happen under the right circumstances, but for now Im a simple crossdresser.

Now with that out of the way. Im 58 years old, though people tend to tell me I look a bit younger. Youll have to decide that for yourself. At 62 Im tall and weigh a bit over 200 lbs. Im working on trying to loose some of it and tone up a bit, but for now thats where I stand. My red hair is a little over shoulder length when straight (which is how I usually wear it) and much to my horror thinning. The rest of me is shaved. Feel free to have a look at my pictures to get a better idea what I actually look like.

Initially, I tend to be horribly shy. But once I warm up to someone I can seem almost human. lol Depending on my mood, I can be sassy, or sweet, or naughty, but Im always highly submissive, moderately intelligent, caring, sarcastic (can you say hiding insecurities), and curious. I do have some less pleasant issues. Ive struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. So I tend to be moody, and a bit twitchy a lot of the time. At my worst I tend to start distancing myself from the people in my life. I have my coping strategy which keeps me as close to normal as I get, but when I start to slip into my personal abyss I tend to ignore what I should be doing to try to keep me on an even keel which just makes matters worse. Hey, I never said I was perfect.

Let me see, I was born and grew up in one of the plains states, and am thoroughly a city girl. Ive lived in a few places over the years, mostly the south and plains. I have a B.A. In psychology along with some credit hours toward a Masters degree in counseling. Before you start wondering, no I didnt come up with my coping strategies all on my own. I was receiving counseling for a while to treat my issues with depression, and my therapist and I worked them out. The jobs Ive had have been your typical not really qualified to do anything jobs security officeralarms runner, store clerk, warehouse associate, etc. Nothing special, but when Im working I can manage my basic needs.

Now for the fun part. Well, I think of it as the fun part since its what I do to keep myself entertained. Some of my pastimes are pretty typical, movies, reading, a few select television shows and the like. Some of the less common ones are things like drag pering, writing, jewelry making, role-playing games (table top and L.A.R.P.), and sewing. You noticed that too? A lot of my interests are somewhat creative in nature. On the kinky side of things I enjoy bondage, hot wax, bondage, spanking, bondage, sensory deprivation, bondage, teasing, bondage, ice and other sensation play, bondage, light flogging, and bondage. Of course, theres a whole host of things Im willing to try so if you dont see something in my brief list, by all means say something. You never know I may be willing to give it a go to see if I should add it to my list of kinks. Im pretty open-minded so its not likely Ill be offended.

Well, there you go, me in a really big nutshell. If theres anything you would like to know thats not in my profile feel free to ask.



P.S. I just found the BDSM Test, and thought Id include the results below.

Results from 100 Bondage Receiver 100 Submissive 93 Slave 91 Experimentalist 76 Masochist 71 Non-monogamist 70 Degradation Receiver 70 Exhibitionist 68 GirlBoy 61 Voyeur 56 Brat 50 Primal (Prey) 43 Pervert 38 Switch 33 Bondage Giver 32 Primal (Predator) 29 Vanilla 20 DaddyMommy 15 MasterMistress 8 Degradation Giver 8 Sadist 7 Brat Tamer 4 All-Rounder 4 Dominant

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10/21/2014 10:26:23 AM

Greetings Gentle Readers, 

Today, I'm going to touch a little on the personal side of things. From time to time I get asked if I have ever or would ever consider becoming a transsexual. The question comes in many forms, but that is the gist of it each time it comes up. I will usually answer it, and I will do so here, but... There's always a but, isn't there. There are some things you should know. 

The path to becoming a transsexual, isn't just about taking a few hormones or getting breast augmentation surgery. Certainly that is part of it, but being an informed individual, I know there is more to it. I'm going discuss a bit what one is really looking at if one wants to switch sexual characteristics. 

Lets look at breast augmentation first, shall we. Now first off, no reputable surgeon is going to do breast augmentation on a male without some assurance that it is warranted. That means the subject should be involved in some form of counseling or psychotherapy addressing their gender issues. Yes, there are a number of surgeons who will do the surgery without taking such precautions, but one has to wonder about the ethics od such surgeons. Lets face it if you're letting someone cut open your body and put foreign objects in there, you want to be able to trust them, right? So, we're talking seeing an ethical surgeon, so we can expect months (maybe years) of counseling first. 

Now hormones, are another matter. Again they have a lot of risks involved like increased chances of cancer, organ damage/failure (especially the liver) to name a couple. So if you're going to decide to take hormones you definitely want to do so under a doctors supervision. Again, you want it to be a trustworthy doctor since the complications and kill you. Which means counseling again. Another thing to consider is that breast development takes around two years to complete, which means you have to wait a couple of years to know what you got before you can decide if you should use breast augmentation to improve it. In addition, you never stop taking hormones, it becomes a lifelong regimen, and over the years that can add up to a hefty financial investment. 

Speaking of financial investment... I should mention that transition is not a cheap process. Over ones lifetime it can cost upwards of a hundred thousand dollars. With inflation the way it is, probably more if I were to start now. That's a hefty expense. By the same token, if one is driven to transition, it is well worth it. And given the outlay is over many years, it is not as terrible as it sounds. You're not plunking down $100,000 and saying make me a woman. Sometimes it trickles, for the cost of hormones and counseling, then there are moments of torrents when you lay out for whatever surgery is needed. 

So, we are looking at the entrance point being counseling. And in my case, that really is where things should start. I'll be the first to admit a make a much better woman than a man, and probably would have been better off being born a woman. But, you'll not the probably in there. Counseling would assist me in sorting out my feelings about myself and what/who I feel I should be. Now there is always the possibility that I'll find I don't feel it appropriate to tinker with my biology. On the other hand, there is every chance that I'll be even more motivated to transition. It's not really something I can predict at this time. 

In addition to what I've mentioned, there are a few "minor" cosmetic procedures I feel that would also be appropriate if I were to decide to transition. Just minor stuff to help with a more female appearance: trachea shave, hair transplants and such. Nothing that other such women haven't had done in their search for femininity. 

And what about sexual reassignment surgery (SRS)? Again you want to look at using a reputable surgeon, which puts one back to counseling. You need to consider the type of procedure. Yes, there's more than one way to create a vagina, and you need to consider carefully since each has it's own potential complications. Not to mention the type of procedure will determine which surgeon you seek out to do it. Then again, most of those who ask about transitioning, don't consider this part because they are usually looking for a "chicks with dicks" not a re-manufactured woman. 

I think by now you already know what my answer it to those who ask. Just reading the above tells you that I've not only considered it, but I've done some homework on it as well. So, when asked, I usually explain that yes I've considered it, and the factors I've discussed above. Would I transition, I don't know, but I certainly would start with the counseling to help decide if it's right for me. If it is, then yeah, I'd transition. If not, then I'll remain a guy in a dress. 

So now you know, and won't even need to ask me, huh? 

Take care


10/3/2013 6:48:47 AM

Good Morning Gentle Readers,

Occasionally in emails, I use various of categories of divergent gender behavior to which I consider I belong. I thought today, I'd give you a brief lexicon for us non-conforming gender expression folks. Keep in mind that the definitions are my opinion of the definition. Different people have different ideas as to what each one means. If you feel that one or another of these should be different than I have expressed, by all means drop me a note to say so and explain why. I am always happy to have comments, even if they disagree with me. 

Before we start, I want to be clear on something that will help in understanding some of the definitions: the difference between biological sex (or sex) and gender. Sex is the biology, defined by sexual characteristics at birth or by genetics. It is strictly a matter of biology, though not near as clear cut as most folks want to believe. Gender on the other hand is how an individual internally identifies as either male or female. I am not going to say that sex and gender are completely separate, especially since the underlying causes of gender behavior are not fully understood as yet. There are a number of correlative biological factors that seem to accompany some gender behaviors, so there is still a lot to be learned.

As an additional warning, don't get so get hung up on the labels, gender expression is just a part of any individual. We are people with all the complexity that entails, and I think most of us would be happy to be accepted as people, not a particular label. I understand that as human beings we rely on names/labels/schema to be able to predict the world around us. We know a chair is a chair because there are specific characteristics associated with it, and because we recognize a chair is a chair we know we can sit in it. However, people are not chairs, and trying to predict us by one or two labels is going to get you majorly surprised (and/or disappointed) over and over again. So feel free to look through the labels, but don't rely on them too strongly.

One last thing before I give you Brianna's Lexicon of gender variant terms. Some of the terms are considered by many to be derogatory, so be careful when using them. I have tried to note those that for some are considered derogatory, but often this changes over time. So, terms that are reasonably safe today, may well get you slapped next year, or the year after, or the year after that, or... Well, you get the idea.

Now, on with the lexicon.

Androgyne: A person who lives without appearing or behaving in a manner particular to a specific gender/sex. Yes, this would be someone who is androgynous in their appearance and/or behavior.

Bi-Gendered: A person who can shift between masculine and feminine behaviors.

Cisgendered/Cis: A person who considered their gender to match their sex (someone who is "normal". Gender conformists.

Crossdresser/Cross-dresser/Cross dresser/CD: Anyone who dresses in the clothing traditionally considered to be appropriate for those of the opposite sex. I tend to take this a little further so that it does not become a totally blanket term. In addition to dressing in nontraditional gender clothing, they do not identify as having a gender in opposition to their sex, and do not need the clothing to achieve sexual arousal/gratification. Basically, I use crossdresser as a catch all for those who don't identify or fit another term.

Dairy Queen/DQ: A drag queen who has had breast implants. As I'm sure you can guess, this isn't a very nice term.

Drag King/Drag Queen: A form of performance art in which person who dresses and behaves in an exaggerated style associated with the opposite sex.

Dragzilla: A derogatory term for someone who is not accepted as a female.

Female Illusionist/Female Impersonator/Illusionist/Impersonator/FI: A style of performance in which a male performer dresses and behaves in a manner consistent with a female. This is distinct from a drag performer as it does not rely on the exaggerated presentation.

Gender Bender: Anyone who is divergent from their assigned gender/sexual roles/behaviors/appearance. Ah variety, the spice of life. :P

Genderqueer: A person who can't/won't adhere to the two gender presentations that our culture expects as based upon ones sex.

Hermaphrodite/Intersexed/IS: A person born with a congenital defect in which they possess the primary and secondary sexual characteristics of both sexes. Note: Hermaphrodite is an outmoded term and has taken on a derogatory connotation.

Metamorph/Shape Shifter: Some people who choose not to identify as transsexual, express their belief that they are not changing their gender, but rather changing their body to reflect their inner feelings and gender identity.

Shemale/She-Male: A term popularized in pornography to represent a transsexual person who has not had sexual reassignment surgery. This is often considered a derogatory term and highly offensive.

Sissy: A man who enjoys being dominated by another (often a female) while in various forms of feminization.

T-Boy: A transgender female-to-male.

T-Girl/T-Gurl/T-Grrl: A transgender male-to-female.

Tranny/Trannie/Transie: A term used by Women TG women to describe other TG women. This is often considered offensive if used by a non-TG.

Transgender Person/Transgenderist: 1. A blanket term for anyone who presents a gender other than their sex. 2. A person who lives as a their target/preferred gender without wishing to change their sex to match.

Transman/Trans Man: A biological female who identifies as male.

Transsexual/Transexual/TS: Someone who wishes to take all the steps possible to change their sex to match their identified gender.

Transvestite/Transvestite Fetishist/TV: Someone who dresses in the clothing of the opposite sex in order to gain sexual arousal or gratification.

Two-Spirit: A term for both same gender loving and transgender people that emerged from various Native American traditions.

I think I've covered the majority of the terms, but I probably missed one or two or three or four or more. If you have one that I didn't include, feel free to mention it and the associated definition. And if you have an alternative definition for any of the above, by all means give that as well. We are a very diverse community, and no one term, no one definition is going to suit everyone.

I hope you found my ramblings to day interesting, and if there is something you'd like to see me comment on, by all means feel free to speak up. It doesn't even have to be BDSM or LGBT related, though I avoid discussion of religion and politics.

Take care


3/23/2013 11:11:11 AM

For those of you who are interested in contacting me, I thought I'd give you a little help in writing. Ok, so this post is going to be part rant, part helpful suggestions. What can I say, I'm a multi-talented girl.

So, I'll start with the rant part. One thing that really annoys me is when someone sends me a message to contact me and it's a sentence or worse yet just a phrase. If you're not going to make an effort to impress me, why make the effort at all. I'm not saying one has to write a novel, but say something more than, "Hi there," or "I want you." Anyone who writes so little either doesn't really expect me to respond no matter what they write, an incorrect assumption I might add, or they don't respect me enough as person to be bothered with an honest attempt at contact. That is definitely not the way to get me to respond back.

That ends the rant portion of this post. Now for something constructive.

So, if you really want to contact me, and want me to respond you need to write more than a line or two. Lets face it there are dozens of things you can say in your first message. All it takes is a little thought. I'll give you a few possibilities to start you off.

1) You can start off with a little about yourself. I'm not just talking about your age, height, weight, hair and eye color. Though those are useful. I'm talking about things like what you like to do in and outside the lifestyle, your hobbies, maybe something about your personality.  You may or may not have put this in your profile, but putting it in you message will make it more likely that I will go peek at your profile to find what you didn't mention.  Not to mention increasing your chances of getting a response from me.

2) You can tell me what it is your looking for. How am I supposed to gauge whether I'm right for you (or you're a good fit for me) if you don't tell me what you seek: what you like? Hmmmm? I'm not a mind reader (and if I were I wouldn't admit it).

3) You can tell me some of the things you found interesting about my profile. What about my profile prompted you to to write? This also gives you a chance to say why we might be comparable. Neat, huh? :D

Now if you've done just that little bit, you have a first message that is at least 3 paragraphs, probably more. I know, it requires a bit of thought and effort, but let me tell you, I am worth it. :)) Actually, if you do just that much contacting most anyone on here, you'll be more likely to get their attention.

Oh and one last thing that will get you noticed, use correct spelling and grammar (do not use text speak), and proof read your message before sending it.

You shouldn't need to be too concerned about the space either.  I've sent messages of 10,000 characters before on here, and to give you an idea of the space you have this post is a little over 3,000 characters with spaces.

It doesn't have to be perfect, but it will show you care about how you come across. It's like taking a shower and putting on a clean shirt for a first date. It's presenting a good first impression. ;)

See, I told you I would help. Everything I've said here doesn't just apply to contacting me. Anyone on this or other contact sites you're wanting to send a message to will be much more impressed by this than by, "Hey there, let's fuck." Really.


Take care


3/15/2013 1:37:57 PM

Welcome Happy Readers,

I don't know how many times I've seen personal ads or heard someone comment that they were looking for someone without baggage or didn't have drama - I've lost count. I always get a chuckle from that sort of comment. If you think about it the only ones without baggage or drama are children and the dead - and if you believe in ghosts or some other afterlife then even some of the dead seem to still have them. Seriously think about it, the reason we have them is because we've lived life. Children (and some of them are sadly born with their own baggage or drama) usually haven't lived enough of life to be hurt enough to have any baggage yet. The dead, well who knows what they actually experience, if anything, and I'm not inclined to die just to find out. As for having drama, I think it was the cable network TNT that use to say "Life is drama." There is no escaping it. So, dear readers, if you are one of those who is looking for a lack of either or both, well you are either going to do without a life partner or... Eeewww! My advice if you don't want baggage or drama, do without. Oh, and as a clue, most who are seeking the lack do so because of their own baggage or drama. None of us who reach adulthood (chronologically at least) does so without picking up a bag or two, and you don't live without some drama. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Tongue Out

So what is there to do? Well, the trick is to learn what is excessive baggage or drama and to avoid those with it, but to use the usual daily life drama and baggage to get closer to your partner. You'll have to decide just what constitutes an excessive amount (though no matter what you decide, I probably fit in the excessive category). How much you care about the other person is going to go a long way to helping you decide just what is excessive. The more we care the more we are willing to put up with, but there are limits. You have to decide where yours are.

For those of us who are the drama/baggage carriers, we have to learn just how much to share, and more importantly HOW to share it. If you have a little problem with jealousy, going into a screaming fit every time your mate glances at someone else probably isn't the best way to express it. Ok, that may be an extreme example, but I have known more than one person who would react that way. By the same token, I've also met one or two who were insecure enough in their relationship, would do the looking just to elicit such a response just to confirm the other person is still interested. There are a lot of other examples of ways someone can improperly communicate fears or concerns that stem from our baggage and therefor results in excessive drama. I can't tell you the best way to find the right medium, but I would suggest talking with your partner in a rational manner. If you need to, find an IMPARTIAL mediator to help keep things from getting out of control. It doesn't have to be a professional, a mutual friend will often suffice, just someone to keep things from going crazy. Communication is the key.

So, accept that as adults we all have baggage and experience drama, but rather than try to avoid it, try to understand it, and use it as a way to grow closer.

Take care and happy hunting

P.S. Ok, so maybe I'm full of shit, then again who knows.

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