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i suppose i have disappeared in my own doubt.
some of the things written to me, what would be expected and what would be inflicted, i'm not sure now i could handle.
a slut, a whipping post, an animal, a nothing is not what i was nor is it what i am or want to be.
what i had in my previous relationship i see now was total control but it was from one who loved me, who actually knew me.
while i mourn that loss, i now realize i was trying to replace it.
replace him.
but i am going about it all wrong. my relationship took small steps.
i gave because i adored and wanted to give not because i was demanded to do so.
You cannot walk into my life and claim me as Yours. You can only see me as a lost soul searching.
i doubt very much You are out there. but i will look just in case |
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