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I never enjoyed sex as much as everyone else, though I am talented at pleasing both men and women.
It wasn't until I was finally trained by two seperate men that I felt the deep joy that total submission brings.
I would like to be dominated by a woman. My only complaint about my experiences with men is that it ended up with them not understanding why I wasn't cumming. I have my suspicions that a woman would be more pleased by my services.
Here is what I hope to gain from a relationship or experiences with a dominant woman.
What my domme gives me is deeper than sexual pleasure.
She gives me spritual healing.
I have spent my entire life trying desperately to please everyone.
I have spent my life being the hero, unable to let anybody down.
I have spent my life sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of success.
I am the producer. When things need to be taken care of, people turn to me.
I am the introvert, the one who thinks before I speak.
I am the responsible one, the one who always has consequences on his mind.
I am the one who never switches off.
I am the one who can't relax.
I am the one the others give control.
I DO NOT WANT CONTROL
But I accept control, because it's what I do.
I take control of everything because I get everything done.
If I don't take on the world, who will?
When I am with my domme, my only goal is her satisfaction.
The intial rush of nerves is devastating.
How will I best please her?
Will I do the right thing?
How can I make it better for her?
This is the hell that I live in every moment of every day.
But then there is a heavenly moment.
I DO NOT HAVE CONTROL
All I have to do is what she says, and she will be pleased.
If I am going to suffer, I am going to suffer.
There is nothing I can do, suspended from my own life.
So why should I worry? This is the magic moment.
When I am bound, I have given up the control that plagues me.
My domme teaches me to escape my own bondage by submitting to hers.
She breaks me down further and further, until only my esssence is left.
Untarnished by the world, I finally have peace.
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