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beachpolysub

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I am a polyamorous submissive woman in a stable, long distance D/s relationship with a Male Dom. I'm at my happiest though when I am also in a secondary relationship with a local Male Dom (meaning a Vee relationship between two Doms, with me as the hinge.) I am looking for a stable secondary relationship with a partnered Male Dominant, experienced in open and ethical Poly (preferably whose spouse or anchor partner is equally open and Poly herself.) I am primal, masochistic and enjoy protocol and objectification. I love rope, impact and lots of rough sexytime. It is easier to ask me what I'm NOT into than for me to tell you all the things I've tried and loved doing, and want to do again and again and again. :) I have devoted a lot of the rest of this profile to what I am looking for from a Poly perspective because that ends up being a lot of wasted time for potential Doms and couples if I don't explain my Poly needs and boundaries upfront. But if you read all this and see me as a possible good fit, message me and I can talk ALL DAY LONG one on one, about how I like to play and be used and bossed around. :) :) :) If you are one of those Doms who never goes out to events and thinks having a public presence is dangerous or lame or whatever, don't bother messaging me. In my experience your play and your dominance will look and feel like someone who decided they could learn to play baseball by playing at home on their Wii. :) You gotta get out and see the real thing to up your game! (And this goes for maso submissive bottoms like me as well!) I believe nurturing community and being of service to that community is important, and a sign of good character that I would look for in anyone from whom I would seek advice, strength and leadership. I am mostly interested in finding a Male Dom already in a stable, loving primary-but-Poly relationship. I am not 100% against a relationship with a single Male Dom, but I don't think it likely you'll be able to convince me 1) You aren't just lying about the fact you are part of a couple and cheating on your partner or 2) You are really single, but you are secretly assuming you'll eventually convince me to dump my LD Dom and just be with you. However if you are out and about in the local scene and my longtime lifestyle friends can vouch for you, it's a possibility. I can't travel around town much so location is important--unless someone lives in the South Bay or can come over here for our time together, the connection isn't likely to flourish, no matter how into each other we are. My long distance Dom is very comfortable with my Poly as well as his own, as long as any other Dominant partner of mine both respects his rules for me and is an emotionally safe and ethical person. This has worked best in the past when both my long distance Dom and my local Dom saw themselves as enforcers of what they agreed were the rules for my overall wellbeing. :) I will pretend to hate the idea that you are mentally ganging up on me and voting Straight Dom Ticket and I don't get a vote, but the grin on my pouty face will reveal I am actually very happy to have no vote, as long as I get a veto. To me, that's the finest kind of Dominant Compersion. :) To be clear, I am not interested in a primary relationship. I'm a single parent to young ones who are my primary relationship, and being a secondary in multiple loving partnerships is my joyspace. I like relationships that are very intentional, with expectations defined, and I can then feel safe being vulnerable and opening up within the limits of that relationship. That being said, I have some rules for myself, that protect me emotionally and also help others to enjoy our relationships more. While I am delighted when people (single or coupled) venture into Poly, I will be friends with but not date people who are new to this. The learning curve is too steep, and secondaries like me tend to be the ones chewed up in the process. I've been in those situations, learned from them and I am looking for coupled Poly people who are the same. Where we all have had those Poly Drama Mushroom Cloud situations, picked ourselves up, learned from what we did right and did wrong, owned our shit, and in spite of it all, knew in our hearts that Poly was still very much a Net Positive in our lives. We still want to actively be polyamorous, always finding better, knowing better and doing better. Those folks are my Poly Tribe. :) In terms of relationships, I am straight and not interested in a triad, nor am I comfortable with being "sister subs/wives", but I do like to give and receive friendly vibes with metamours. And it is very important to me that my partner's significant other (wife or anchor partner) is aware of and confirms what our hinge partner says is their agreement regarding other relationships. So another important nonnegotiable for me, I will not do anything less public than dinner or coffee with someone, until I've had at least one direct interaction with their primary partner, to confirm they are on the same page and no one is being lied to or misled about what we are doing. (Even if that conversation goes like this. Me: "Your partner says you are in a 24/7 TPE relationship and you have agreed that whatever he does with me or others is not for you to decide or even know about, is that correct?" And she replies back "Yes it is, and I love it that way!") :) I also have tried a wide range of connection styles with metamours, from no direct interaction (because I was afraid of offending them) to kitchen table poly, and I've found neither of those styles work for me. I practice what I call "neighborly poly" with metamours--some light interaction and definitely taking joy in their joy and our shared partner's joy, but not too tightly connected. It gives us both the emotional space to have the tough days when we're not feeling compersive, without having to be on the front row with each other's less gracious moments. But like good neighbors, we all benefit when the polycule is peaceful, stable and fun, and we all have a part to play in making that happen, by getting along. :) I hope to meet many new friends and hopefully make some wonderful, caring, primal and fulfilling connections! Have a great day.

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smhuisje
 
 Age: 42
 Reading/Bath, United Kingdom