I think I rather need the Little Rooster alarm vibrator.  Maybe it could actually get me awake, unlike any other alarm.

Neighbors having screaming fights does not do my nerves good.  Normally my garden is a place of relaxation, but between different neighbors, that peace has been rather lacking.  I can only hope that it doesn't keep up.

I am not the "hopeless female".  I can do basic stuff.  I don't wine for someone to change my tire for me.  Still, I am not mechanically minded.  Let's hope I can get this done without spending the entire day on it.

It's definitely time to get some plushy slippers.  It's cold, and they're fun.

Am I the only person who gets the impression that there's never anyone new on here?  Same pictures.  Same names.  People are obviously actively logging in.  Just nothing new.

I sometimes take amusement in reading profiles on here.  Many people are just doing their thing, and there is nothing particularly remarkable.  There are the genuinely clever ones.  Then there are the inconsistent ones.  It really is amusing.  It's like people watching, only the collarme edition!

I want a friend.  Yes, I utilize this site in a sex/love/relationship aspect, but a relationship has to have friendship at it's core.  If you want me to bow down and kiss your feet just because you call yourself dominant or master, then I'm not the person for you.  I am submissive, but I am also a pain in the ass.  If you don't bother getting to know me, how can you have any clue how we would be together?

I'm not who you expect me to be.  And that doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Time to break out the sunblock.  Ugh.

I want to visit Chernobyl.  

I do wish that there was less pretentiousness.   Not just here on collar me, but in general.  It is unfortunate that so many people put up a front.  Now, I'll never say that someone isn't a "real Dom".  It is too subjective, and seems to be the opposite side of someone saying "I'm a true Dom."  {twue dominate!  LOL}  I don't really care.  All I care about is finding the person that is the right match for me.  I suppose if someone were being a troll, that would make them not a "real" whatever they are claiming to be, but I digress.  What I mean is that there seems to be a lot of people who get caught up in the fantasy to the point that they deliver all the cliche lines.  It's like I'm watching (reading) cheap theater.  They haven't been able to integrate who they are as a person with their chosen role.  I don't think that they are "fake", I think that there is a disconnect.  I think that there is something that they are thinking must be in order for them to be a dominant to the point that it is emphasized above everything else.  I don't know that I'm communicating my thoughts on the matter effectively.  And perhaps I am being unfair, or reading into things falsely.

Time to pack.  Moving again!  At least I have this thing down pat.  Really though, I hope to stay in the area that I'll be at next for more than a few months.  It's not that I am attached to one place (though I've lived in said city before, and it's pretty awesome), but more that I like to be able to break out my painting stuff and settle into a place.  I just hope that I'm able to find work quickly.  And no, I'm not going to tell you where I'm going until I'm damn good and ready.  (Shall we take bets on how many messages I get in the next few days asking me where I'm moving to?)

No more NaNoWriMo for me.  At least for now.  Life happens sometimes.  Still, I'll have to continue at some point.  Regardless, writing is not my art.

Grumpy cat is pure win. 

 That is all.

 No.  :-<

I have come to the conclusion that the princess (of pea fame) just had FMS.

A sense of humor is mandatory when dealing with me.

I love fall in Oregon!

I may need to buy a copy of the Inception soundtrack.  Great movie, but the soundtrack is making really good writing music. 

I need to work on my inspirational process.  Watching TV and grumbling to myself isn't working.  Even if I am getting through a bunch of episodes.  As it stands, I'm floundering getting down my story line in a way that doesn't make me want to burn it.  If it's anything like my painting, when I get stuck, I have to just push through it.  

I voted.  Now time to watch V for Vendetta.

The value of friendship can't be underestimated.  Particularly when it comes to relationships.  A BDSM relationship is a relationship.  I know that there are some who don't need it.  They think that it is unnecessary, but their speech says that they feel as though it would get in the way of their dynamic.  This is not me, not in the slightest.  I need friendship first and foremost, before anything else can happen.  To me, if we are not friends, then we are nothing.  I need friendship, trust, love.  I need to know that I belong, that I am more than just another wet hole.  I am fucking fantastic.  Why wouldn't you want to be my friend?

I finally got around to watching Fright Night.  Totally awesome movie.  The trailers didn't do it justice.  

Knitting a scarf and watching Episode 5.  Because I'm awesome like that.

Helping with an injured cat, and upset people, makes for a tiring evening.  Humans will be humans, and cat, though in need of a lot of tlc, will make it through fine.  Honestly I don't mind doing whatever I can to help him.  I've nursed animals even when I was rather young, so it is something which comes naturally to me.  Hopefully he gets used to his collar soon though, because it's just sad to watch him paw at it... even if I can't help but smirk at the same time.

I was having no luck getting regular work in Georgia, so I've come back to Oregon.  Seriously, I missed my friends and the weather.  I'm still working on getting everything sorted and situated and settled.

Listening to Tool and reading (yet another) smutty book. 

A temp job is a job none the less.  This makes me happy.  Now... to find a car.

I've been dreaming of gardens.  We'll blame my sister, and her beautiful patio garden.  My paternal grandfather had a beautiful garden.  I have many fond memories of helping him pick out veggies for dinner.  My maternal grandfather was also a gardener, but moreso with figs.  There was a small orchard in the back of his house. 

I dream of a garden which is inviting and inspiring.  I dream of growing many herbs and vegitables to feed myself and my man and my friends.  I also want lots of flowers, including roses and night blooming flowers. A greenhouse fit to grow my favorites even in winter.

Of course, the garden that I dream of is just a dream.  I'm not going to set up something that established until I know that I'm not going to be moving again.  So it's planters for now.  **sigh**

If you can name the saddest and most profound episode in Buffy the Vampire Slayer... you so get bonus points.

Somehow I found myself watching horse vids on youtube.  *sigh*  I love horses.  I have always been, and always will be, a horse girl.  I understand them, and they understand me. 

I think it's time to make some Boston Baked Beans.  It has been entirely too long, and I make them so very well.

Every time I see guys saying that "curvy" women aren't hot, I want to have them first show me their six pack then drop their shorts while I pull out a measuring tape.

I love watching Grimm.  Reasonably good show... but I can remember Portland fondly.  The beautiful rain, the river, the locations I can identify within a couple of seconds.... *sigh*

An interesting article worth contemplation:

http://jezebel.com/5658193/why-do-we-demonize-men-who-are-honest-about-their-sexual-needs

When I find myself in times of trouble/Mother Bast calls to me/Speaking words of wisdom/Let it be

"The Higgs boson walks into a church.  The priest says, "We don't allow Higgs bosons in here."  The Higgs boson says, "But without me, how can you have mass?" 

XD

Seriously, my tabouleh should be renamed "Ambrosia".

Having a Superman vs Darth Vader debate on the facebooks.  Assuming no Kryptonite is present.  Being a geek is entirely too amusing at times.  (It all depends on if you count the expanded universe.)

Time for girl's night! 

"Do unto others 20% better than you would expect them to do unto you, to correct for subjective error."  ~ Linus Pauling

"To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." ~Nietzsche

Dance.  Grow things.  Try not to be a dick.

Watching Boondock Saints with my friend.  Good times.  My new swimsuit came.  This makes me rather happy.  I will be beach ready for next month!

"You've got red on you."

I want a chunk of the Fukang meteorite to make into a bracelet.  So pretty.  And it's from space, which just makes it awesome beyond words.

Shopping for some new lingerie.  I need some new pretties.  Now if I could only afford the silk and leather set from Obey My Demand, I would be in heaven.

Humans are strange, and often confusing, creatures.

They say that you will only get what you want when you spell it out clearly.  Well, I spelled it out nearly 3 years ago, and I'm still single.  C'est la vie.

 "What I am looking for... this is always an interesting one for me. I havn't spelled it out clearly on this site as what I want with someone depends on that person and the dynamic and vibe that is established. The ideal is just that, ideal. I'm happy with play partners and casual fun. Everything has it's time and place. The ideal is different of course.

I want a Master. 24/7 slavery. I won't say TPE, as there are always too many arguments about exactly what that means. I want to be owned, cherished, possessed, molded and shaped. I wish to be cared for, and provided for. I wish to focus my time and attention on caring for my Master, and working on my art. I am a masochist, and highly sexual. You can see where that leads.

I have my limits. Everyone does. I don't want to have to have a list of things that my Master can't do. I want a Master who knows me and cares for me enough to not cross those lines unless necessary. I need to be challenged. I need a firm hand. When I submit, it isn't half way. For that reason, I am cautious. It is when trust is established that it starts to blossom.

I am looking for a Master who is firm, but understanding. Liberal, generous. Someone who doesn't feel the need to procreate. Someone creative, yet with an analytical mind. Sadistic of course. Someone who will take the time to give the cats some attention. Someone who understands that the universe holds more than we can comprehend. Someone who wants to explore the depths of reality, and someone who understands what I mean when I say that."

Recently I have been asked repeatedly, "Are you still looking for a Dom?"  I like to think that I am looking for a good man (and bad boy) who is dominant.  Labels are useful and all, but what really matters is the relationship.  Additionally, I'm really quite over the capitalization issue.  "Dom" isn't a proper noun. 

 A few years ago, when I was finally working out what I was looking for, I posted a bit about what my ideal relationship would look like.  I'll have to dig it out and repost it.

Nothing like a pina colada to make a warm evening a little brighter.

After a week in Georgia, I have had the realization that pedicures are not optional here.  Because you know I totally need an excuse for a bit of pampering. 

How close to the physical "ideal" should a submissive be when they start a relationship with a dominant?  How much should it be anticipated that the two work together to achieve that ideal?  Is a submissive considered lacking if she is unable to become "picture perfect" without a dominant guiding her?  Is a dominant considered lacking if he is unwilling to take on a submissive who needs work on her physical body?

I have my own thoughts on the questions I have presented, but they are going through my mind. 

I don't always reply to messages.  Fact of life.  Sometimes they go into my bulk folder, which I rarely look at (it's there for a reason).  Other times, I don't feel any sort of click with a message that I've recieved.  I agree that sending some sort of reply is polite, and I personally would rather be polite than not.  However... I have found, far too often, a tactful refusal of someone on this site can lead to verbal abuse.  It's sad, and of course says far more about the "dominant" who becomes mean to a complete stranger when they are told "thanks, but no thanks".  Regardless, I don't want to put up with it.  Thus, I don't always reply.  If you don't hear back from me, please don't take it personally, it's self protection.  Furthermore, if I find your message compelling or humorous, I'm pretty much guaranteed to reply.  A reply also doesn't mean I want to jump your bones, or kneel patiently while you have your way with me.  It just means I felt like talking to you and you seemed at least reasonably capable of conversation. 

I'm back in the US after spending a year in South Korea.  Now comes the adventure of being in the South.  Yeah... this is going to be interesting.  I'm excited though.

I had a nice walk this morning down to the street market by my apartment.  This is something that I have seen before, but not often.  Here it is fairly common.  I'm glad to find a cheaper place to buy some groceries.  I'll definitely be going back regularly.  Its far enough that the walk is a "healthy" walk, but close enough that I will actually walk, and not take the bus (though we'll see once the heat really hits hard).

I'm finally living abroad!  It's a big adjustment, but it's going well so far.  I'm here for work, so I'm not going to share my location unless I already know you well (I regularly have people ask, but really, it's my business). 

Anyhow, I'm happy to finally be moving on to the next stage in my life!  I'm still hoping to eventually find a master, but in the mean time, I'm going to try to explore the world a bit!

That was truly a fairy tale wedding.  Every little girl dreams of growing up to become a princess.  Now, a "commoner" has done just that.  I do get quite girly when it comes to such things.  The dress was stunning, the men's uniforms were sharp.  But the hats on the attendees... epic fail.  90% of them were out and out terrifying.  Still... I did get a little bit teary eyed watching the ceremony.  The sermon was quite nice as well.  Though I am not Christian, it was moving and delivered beautifully.  I'm not a Royalist, or anti-Royalist.  I'm American, with a bit of British ancestry.  My viewing and enjoyment of it had nothing to do with the institution of monarchy, but rather, the romance, pageantry, and beauty of it all.

"I Dream of Jeanie" colored my view of the world.

I find it interesting to see how many dominants list humiliation in their interests.  What isn't clear to me is if they wish their submissive to do things which "most" consider humiliating but which she enjoys, or if they wish their submissive herself to feel humiliated. 

I love http://www.teefury.com/

Today's tee is so very win!  (Unprocessed Soylent Green)

Please note... I do not accept add requests with no prior contact.  That means some level of getting to know one another (or already knowing each other in person).  Why would you want to add me as a "friend" with never having spoken with me?

My cat is lying next to me and snoring.  It's really far too cute for words.  But it does mean that I've been forgiven for taking her to the vet for her shots earlier today.

There.  That should be better.  They aren't my favorite shoes, but they are cute.  I'm more of a boot kind of gal.  ;)

"I should have been a great many things..."

I've removed photos of myself for professional reasons.  Eventually I'll get something else up.  In the mean time.... puppy meets snow!!!!

1. A slave may not injure a human being, or through inaction, allow her Master to come to harm.
2. A slave must obey any orders given to her by her Master, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A slave must protect her own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.