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sakura
 DeviantlyD
Hetero Female Submissive, 96, Hawaii 
DeviantlyD

About me.

 

I am not who you think I am.

 

My original purpose for being here was multi-dimensional. In short, I was here for reasons that go beyond the sexual. By virtue of being a member of this site it's already a given that I am a sexual being, that kinky sex is part of that, and that sex is an integral part of an intimate relationship. But my original purpose for being here goes far, far beyond sex. There are so many other facets to life. And all of it has to be present or it's just a one dimensional relationship. I am far too exceptional to relinquish control or dishonour myself for one dimension. Anyone who knows me face to face is cognizant of this.

 

I think it is, as I had written years ago, that maybe I don't belong on this site. That who I seek is someone so rare I am not likely to find him on here.

 

Except I did.

I had an epiphany about 10 days ago regarding what I want most in life. And I realize that maybe what I need most in life isn't 'that'. I am living my life in limbo just waiting, waiting, waiting for 'that' to happen. So what if I make my life (without 'that') the best it can be, just how I am right now. And so I have decided to approach life...without 'that'...but with the idea in mind that it can be the best, even without 'that'. :)

I hate being single and experiencing February. Yeah, February 14th. It sucks being single on this day.

There is a dominant man I met at a seminar almost two years ago. He's definitely not the type of man I would want to be involved with. The type of things and the sort of women he's into are incongruous with what I am and what I'm into. Still...he had a certain affect on me. When he looked my way, I felt like a puddle...as if all he had to do was motion me towards him and I would have no choice but to obey...that he could inspire me to do depraved things that I might not necessarily want to do but things I would do because of the energy I sensed from him...as cheesey as it sounds, his dominant energy. Now...he wasn't a pushy or haughty man. He wasn't any of those things I have encountered in a number of other men who describe themselves as dominant. The type of men who feel the need to be pushy and demanding. The kind who insist on being called 'Sir' just because they identify as being dominant. The 'you will do this because I tell you to' sort of mentality. There was just something intangible about him that I can't translate into words. At any rate, I'd like to have that type of dynamic with a man...where it isn't so much what he says and how he acts, but who he is as an entire person and how we connect. That's my fantasy anyhow...whether it turns into reality is another matter. ;)

I look at several profiles on here and I notice that there are a lot of one dimensional people on here - particularly men. Maybe I just don't belong here. Maybe I never did. Or else I'm looking for something so rare that it's likely never going to be found on this site.   *sighs*   It really does suck to be me.

I love this song.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT-JUj-0bg8

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franciscamills
Submissive Female, Age: 25
 Dover, Canada

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