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Denn meine Liebe ist Gift für dich
Heilung gibt es leider nicht
Meine Liebe und du zerbrichst
Meine Liebe ist Gift
Meine Liebe ist Gift Thought for today....
A mediocre Dominant tells,
a good Dominant teaches,
a excellent Dominant explains ...
but a true Dominant Inspires. I'll be sincerely honest and say that I fail pathetically at "sexy talk". I am on the acespectrum a bit, along with some past catholic trauma from growing up catholic, I've never really developed an ability to do sexy talk. That said, I'm developing a bit of a kink when talking to someone that I am comfortable with and they start doing sexy talk and all I can do is reply to show an acknowledgement while I sit there and take it. Those who loves doling out orgasm denial gets bonus points. Let’s contemplate the issue of energy when it come to sex among equals. As a rule nature is perceived as male and female, positive and negative, dry and wet, light and dark, cold hot; you get the idea. However if we add to these categories the fact that there are many ways in which these elements can manifest it becomes apparent that in nature these concepts are very fluid. There are many ways in which gender is conceptualize by cultures and more varied indeed is the manner in which gender roles are characterized. When it comes to love among equal genders these categories manifest but from the standpoint of strength which is the value of the male realm. Passive, submissive, or any other adjectives given to the bottom are but description of how the male strength choses to emerge in a male/male relationship; the same way when we use other adjectives to characterize tops. Any word and denomination is constraining and the truth is that there are many ways to be a bottom and many ways to be a top and the fluidity of these energies are always in a state of flux.
As a rule the male strength is always present regardless of the role we play in an intimate relationship. The strength and force of a male grip either using the hand, the mouth the anus, or the phallus is still a manifestation of that universal force that permeates all of us as we engage each other’s energy within the chosen role. That is a point of departure; there can not be a top without a bottom or vice versa. It is as I said before the natural order of things. No one can denny the fact that we are relating our energies in a sexual encounter as a male to male proposition but in a different degree of intensity which makes the encounter fulfilling and meaningful. The organs involved speak to the degree of energy engaged and no one can forget the fact that there is a male exchange of energies which is mutually fulfilling when done right. I have been on this site for years and see the same profile of ladies seeking a someone like myself. Contact is made, profiles viewed yet nothing. occassionally someone says hi and we exchange messages, and then nothing and i find that often times the dead air is asking for verification on where they live or interest that they have already posted in their profiles.
So many ladies want to be in charge, they advertise they are dominant seeking a male sub/slave, thye want to take the lead, yet nearly all wait for the guy to make first contact and when it happens they ghost or get upset that an I was not dotted or T not crossed. I realize the ladies may get slammed by a lot of players espcially on a freee site like this one. But if you reallyh want to be in control, ignore the players and seek out us real guys, make the first move and follow through. You seek perfectionn from the first hello but that is impossible for anyone including the ladies making contact.
We are two adults seeking to meet connect and build a relationship, if the only connection is BDSM the connection will be lost quickly. So my request is to stop searching for the ideal submssive and instead focus on building a relationship with said person and through your guideance and training help us /me to be perfct for you FAQ
Q: Are you lactating now?
A: No, and that is by design. My fantasy involves the transformation. That is the biggest part of my fantasy. It will not change until I find my owner.
Q: Is that you in the picture?
A: Yes, that is me. Last year for my birthday, I gifted myself the harness. It took me awhile to get around to trying it on. Life is often busy.
Q: Can we play? How about a play date?
A: I don’t do play dates. This is about transforming my body. I need a committed partner for this journey. This is if the first meet goes well.
Q: Why is the distance different than the city?
A: I moved. The website doesn’t update miles properly. I didn’t code it. No, I’m not a scammer and freaking sick and tired of the attitude about proving it. Don’t like the website design then F off and stop harassing me about it.
Q: Will you relocate?
A: I literally just moved here. So no.
Q: Are you open to a couple?
A: No. Totally into monogamy. Open relationships don’t work for me. Good luck on your search.
Q: Are you open to a married man?
A: No, and if I find out who you are married to, I will send trans and pictures to them along with the contact info for a great divorce attorney.
Q: I love ANR, would you be interested in me suckling you?
A: ANR is an adjacent kink, but not one I’m into. I prefer the degradation of the hucow kink.
Q: I have a cow, I want another. Are you interested?
A: I’m into monogamy, so herd play isn’t my thing.
Q: Mail here sucks. Let’s chat elsewhere.
A: Yes it does suck.
~ Reflecting....
Sometimes at night, I see their faces,
I feel the traces they've left on my soul
Those are the memories that make me a wealthy soul. I am finally in WV!
It was a hectic past three months.
I don't know what I would have done without my wonderful Dom, Tony!
It has taken four days to recover from the stress of moving.
With the weekend packing, loading, renting a huge cargo van, driving 6/7 hours, unloading and driving back for four weeks straight. All while working and saying goodbyes. Add to this, two parents having their separate issues, and projecting them...it's over!
I'm in a cabin with my pets.
Tony and I are working on adjusting.
He trying to find a remote position, so he can come this way.
Me trying to adjust to an area I have never been , and know not a soul here.
Setting up utilities, , registering, making sure mail gets to me, and all the things that go with a huge move.
I'm still unpacking, and then I have to get the cottage ready to lease.
That will be a bit weird for me, I reeeeally like my privacy.
But I need to set up passive income.
Lots to do, I miss you Tony💙💙
M. My story......Back in 2007 I filed for divorce divorce after 20 years of marriage. I got very tired of his narcissistic behaviors. There was one time that I should have called the police on him and I didn't and that's when my ex attempted to choke my oldest child, because she said something under her breath and he heard it. It was Israel also in 2007 that I was introduced to this lifestyle, by a doctor friend of mine. He was the one to train me so to speak and introduce me to it. I am very thankful for him. in 2009, my divorce was finalized, the day before my 52nd birthday. I have had many subs and slaves over the years. Mostly part time. People have asked me why don't I have one now and that is because when I moved to Florida from Connecticut I released my sub/slave. It's very difficult to find one that is not a "do me" type. I am looking for a very specific type. I am looking for one that will be able to mix vanilla and Ds. I'm also looking for a long term relationship. I'm not looking for a live in, at this time. Please be sure to read the rest of my journal entrie. Come be a perv and sneek a peek!Come take a look at my page...Show your appreciation!👇
https://www.etsy.com/shop/MistrixMarieTraining I just saw a profile that consisted of only a BDSM test.
When I read it I realized something that is missing and likely is the most important thing.
Where is the reference to interest in a real life encounter?
Where is any reference relating to an actual time frame of when it might occur?
So many of the kink or BDSM tests address interests but do not differentiate between those who want to masturbate to being a rope bunny and those who honestly want to be a rope bunny tomorrow, a week or a month from now.
Being interested in being a slave is totally different than being a slave. Someone who has slave tendencies or wants to be a slave someday is a waste of my time. While I try to be understanding, I do not want to spend weeks, months, or years getting to know someone who might someday meet me in real life.
I do not have any interest in exchanging erotica or demanding pornography. If someone is not willing and able to leave their current life for a year or two, it does not mean that they are fake.
That is worth repeating, If someone is not willing and able to leave their current life, it does not mean that they are fake.
It does mean that even though our interest may align our timeline does not.
I am mentally, emotionally and financially stable and could move a slave into my home anytime. I can take care of myself and do not need a slave. Having a slave in my home makes my life more comfortable. My slave does all of my domestic duties, I provide rituals, structure and you will not be required to work outside my home or office.
I do not want to rescue a woman who is in desperate need to leave her fucked up life. I do not need to complicate my life with a whole lot of drama. I accept that everyone will come with a certain amount of baggage but I live a happy, peaceful life in paradise.
I am looking for a woman who has a desire to fully commit to a life as my slave. Expereince, age, location is not as important as the desire and ability to meet in real life. If you are at a point in your life where you are prepared to relocate within a resonable time then we should talk. In the world are many denominations all claiming to possess the accurate knowledge of the truth. However this is divisions. In 1 Corinthians, Paul appealed to us that we have no divisions amongst ourselves and instead that we all be perfectly united in mind and thought. One of you say, "I follow this" and another says "I follow that" and still another "I follow such and such". Is Christ divided? Yet I say to you, revelations has something against each church. I tell you when Christ unveils his church there will be many upheavals and sudden changes. The real church is nurturing, a good guardian like a parent teaching it's child right and wrong. Allowing for the true knowledge of what truly matters to God the Father and Jesus Christ. Allowing individuals to grow in grace and become one in Christ's image. Jesus said if you love him you would observe his commandments. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. Why do I exist:
Why do I exist in this vast expanse? A fleeting speck in the cosmic dance, Am I a mere accident of chance, Or part of a grand, divine romance?
Do I wander aimlessly without a cause, Lost in the labyrinth of life's applause? Am I a whisper in nature's laws, Or a beacon in destiny's claws?
Do I exist to love and to dream, To unravel the mysteries that gleam? Am I a ripple in life's stream, Or a figment of an endless scheme?
Why do I exist, I often ponder, In this universe, do I wander? Am I a question without an answer, Or a journey to realms much grander?
In the silence of night, I search for clues, In the stars, in the wind, in the morning dew. Why do I exist? Is there a muse To guide me through this cosmic ruse?
Questions linger, unanswered still, In the depths of my being, an unquenchable thrill. Why do I exist? Time's hands fulfill The mystery of life, a quest until I NEED A BITCH TO BUFF MY BOOTS
...and I'm willing to provide up to 56 orgasms for a job well done ( or, if you prefer...one good one that lasts up to 56 minutes )**
** Offer open to female residents and visitors to the tri-state area. No purchase necessary. Certain restrictions (to your movement) may be applied.
WARNING : May be habit forming
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Former US Army Chiefs of Staff chairman Mark Milley
4 Star General
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2024/10/12/mark-milley-donald-trump-fascist/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFVuQ0RP_As
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9to_1UYH5rE
https://www.c-span.org/video/?539560-1/joint-chiefs-staff-chair-mark-milley-discusses-us-national-security
Remote Controlled - Part 1This is a fiction story based on a real event
The year was almost over once again and Sally had no one to gift her bound and helpless form to. Another year had passed and every dominant man she had met was a no-hoper. Scrolling on her phone she looked mournfully at the parade of bound subs that filled social media. Tapping over to her dating profile she sighed. It took a lot of patience to filter through the inbox. Determined to keep trying she browsed the various messages she had received. It was the usual stuff - men with empty profiles saying 'hey'. Disappointed she pushed on through message after message until she saw one with a photo attached. Steeling her courage, Sally tapped the message desperately hoping it wasn't yet another unsolicited dick pic.To her surprise it wasn't. It was a picture of an app that she recognised. She used the app herself for one of her toys. As she took in the picture she realised that her username was displayed. 'Random Control' was a feature of her app controlled toys. A butt plug and vibrator she owned could be worn and then controlled by a random user of the app. Sure enough, this picture was coming from someone who she had chatted with as he controlled her toys! For a moment panic made her blood run cold. Was it creepy that he'd tracked her down on a dating site? What other profiles of hers did he know about? Semi-paralysed by this surprise it took her some time before she read the message to which the picture was attached.
'Control doesn't have to be random. All you have to do is ask.'
Sally froze. This was out of the ordinary. How is someone meant to answer this? She gulped, but found herself unable to tap away from the message. She had to know more. Quickly she tapped through and read this man's profile. Thepicture wasn't amazing, but there was a very well written description of what this man was looking for. With every line Sally found herself drawn in further and faster. On the screen at least this man seemed like everything she was looking for. At least, right up until he used a single word - pantyhose. Sally's growing smile dropped. He was likely American. No Brit would use that word. Sure enough, on checking there it was - Bridgeport, Connecticut. Still, he deserved a reply. It was the most interesting message she'd received in weeks.
'I remember our chat. It was mindblowing. I'm sorry to say I'm not looking for an online relationship. - Sally'
Dispondant, Sally closed the site and settled down for a lonely night. Streaming the latest reality show nonsense, her brain numbed and the familiar rut closed in. Moments later her phone buzzed.
'What is it about online that worries you? - Jonathan'
'Consequences, there can't be any when its all online. I can say I've done something but you have no way of knowing if thats the truth. Its just not as fun for me. - S'
'I understand. Are you up for another fun chat then?'
Sally smiled. An online D/s relationship didn't get her motor running, but the thought of someone else teasing her with her toys really did. She quickly messaged back before hurrying to her toy chest. A touch of lube later and her plug and vibe were in. A few quick taps and she had the app open and connected to the man on the other end. His voice wasn't terribly deep. In fact he spoke very softly and gently. Almost careful with every word he chose to use.
'I really did love the message Jon.'
'It's Jonathan, not Jon.' He hadn't raised his voice at all to say this, instead he chose to set her toys to vibrate at their maximum settings. Sally breathed deeply as the toys caused her to let out a low moan.
'S..sorry Jonathan.'
'That's okay. Now you know.' The vibrations stopped as he lowered the control on his app. Then a second later, there was a barely perceptable rumble from her plug combined with a slow rhythmic buzz from her vibe. Sally gulped, he was good.
'You know Sally, there are other toys like this. Other ways a long distance dynamic can work.' But Sally bared heard, he was clearly skilled at controlling these types of vibrating toys. He was varying not just the intensity but the frequency and the patterns of her toys.
'Or maybe, even this type of play isn't something you enjoy as much as it sounds like?' The vibration stopped from both of Sally's toys. Snapping back to reality her hips were wriggling around, desperate for the good feelings from the toys.
'Please, don't stop now!'
'Well then Sally, answer me. Did you know that there are a lot of different long distance toys like this?'
'I'm sure there are. I don't think it would help though. Even in person, I can be bratty. I find ways to make it seem like I've done what was asked of me.' The vibrations began again, but this time at a very low level. Sally's hips writhed against the air, desperate to make the most of the sensations from the toys. She gripped her breats, teasing her nipples.
'What if I had a plan? A way of addressing some of your weaknesses? Would you be willing to at least hear me out?'
'I...I suppose...I could keep an...oh...oh.' Sally struggled for words as he played with her toy's controls masterfully.
'An open mind?'
'Oh god! Ye...ye...yes, and open mind.'
'I'm glad to hear it. Now, when you are close, do be a good little slut and ask me for permission to cum.'
Sally's entire body began to quake as both the plug and the vibe filled her with sensations that felt amazing. Closing her eyes, she flipped to her front and ground her hips into her bed, trying to get more from the sensations of the vibe filling her. A few moments later, she was begging the male voice she knew as Jonathan for the permission to cum. He managed to play the controls so well that he kept her right on the edge of an orgasm for another two minutes. To Sally it felt like twenty, but before too long he said in a gentle voice:
'Cum for me Sally.' It baffles me why people are dishonest?
Finding a match who is local enough for a real relationship is tricky, we all know that. What I don't get is why men send fake pictures, it just makes no sense.
Please, if you cannot show the real you don't message me. I don't want to chat with a fraud ... life is too short to waste it getting to know someone who is using Internet pictures to hid behind.
Whilst soap box is out, it is nice to hear from people all over the world yet let's be realistic if you need to get on a plane or travel hours to visit then we won't be classing the distance as local and I seek a local man x
About to lose control, he sighed in the affirmative when she asked if he needed to use the toilet.
His ankles were unclipped.
One wrist was detached from his belt.
Sheepishly he allowed himself to be guided to a powder room through the next door.
Completing his business, much relived, he emerged from the room. He noticed a walk in closet transformed into a cell with a bed and chair.
There, hung over the back of the chair were his clothes.
It was late, she was no longer amused.
Keys were thrust into his free hand. “get dressed Mr. Gimp!”
It was then he realized they had never exchanged names.
He wasn’t even sure of the address.
Sitting on the bed fully dressed with the keys and restraints on the chair, she took off the hood.
A taxi was waiting outside to return him to the Hotel bar.
Her voluptuousness pressed against his face, she pulled him to his feet and kissed him passionately full on his trembling lips.
“ Be gone Mr. Gimp!”
She patted his butt and pushed him out the door to the waiting taxi.
The driver was well paid for his discretion. What I am looking for: I would love to find an amazing submissive partner. This person should want to put in the time and effort it takes to become actual friends and form a real emotional bond. As in any solid relationship, this is not something that will happen overnight. If you lack patience or just want a quick hookup, I am not the One for you. The person in question should be local to me or able to visit on a very regular basis. What is most important to me is shared chemistry and emotional connection. I am not looking to rush into anything. Expect the process of getting to know each other and the vetting process to take TIME. Interested parties should be willing and able to communicate extensively through online methods. I prefer typed text to voice communication, but can verify that I am who I say I am if necessary. If you are someone who does not like to write words or who thinks saying 'hi' or telling me how attractive you think I am is a conversation, you won't stand a chance. My partner preference currently tends to swing towards cis women, trans women, and trans men, but I am pan and could be attracted to anyone if the right connection is there.Preferred Age Range - 30 to 50 Turn Ons & Main Interests: These are my "must have" vanilla and kink interests. While the exact dynamic of each relationship is unique to those involved in it, if any of this is a hard limit for you, we will likely not be a match. * Tease & denial * Orgasm control / orgasm denial * Massage (getting) * Cuddling & Physical Displays of Affection * Oral service * Laughter * Intelligence * Shared vanilla interests I've physically and mentally been through Hell over the past 5 or so years and need a partner who is truly service oriented, who will enjoy helping and caring for their Domme. I am completely willing to discuss this in detail with the right person. If you have fully read and understood my profile and journal, you may send me a polite message detailing why you are interested in serving me, how your vanilla and kink interests line up with my own, and a bit about yourself. Please also include the phrase "You remind me of the babe" so I know you actually read my complete profile. Bonus points if you know where the quote comes from. So its 2022 and I have been here a long while. Still no one claiming to be Dominant and willing to prove it has come my way in this time, will this be the year it happens, probably not. I think most people have given up on this site delivering them a submissive or slave that can fulfill their needs, as much as they fulfill theirs
Of course my needs are simple, I would like a Dominant man or couple, who want a relationship which can migrate from a one night stand, to many nights together, and days. But will it happen, I doubt it
I am fed up of having to be the assertive one, I am supposed to be asserted upon, Doms on here too afraid to approach someone because others have been such a let down, well, that concept is also felt by many subs and slaves who arrange to play with Dominants who aren't real.
So be assertive, sweep me off my feet, treat me with some respect, remember your goal is to want me to spend my time serving you, so if you come at me like a total moron, I'll treat you like one. Finally going to get a belated birthday spanking. Happy, excited and nervous... It's been a while... hello all! Happy New Year. For those that send sweet message, thank you.
I noticed my profile doesn't talk about what I'm looking for due to that whole profile approval crap they were doing a few years ago. I am a DL first & foremost. I love wearing. I do use them. More wet then messy. I am in a LTR, it's very vanilla. He knows that I wear but doesn't know the extent of it. I've been wearing for years, our relationship is weird, some days I'm happy, most days I'm not. It's just been a long time & it's just hard to get up & go, specially without support.
I would love to eventually find someone that can be my daddy dom who accepts diapers & would want me as his diapered slave. I wear as often as I can, but I am not able to be 247. So if anyone on this site is still out there looking for his baby girl, feel free to msg me, let's see where it goes.
PS- I've been doing long enough- if you reach out & you're asking pervy questions, just a Hello, or I've seen you reach out before & it's the same copy paste as before- you're not getting a response from me. Happy 2026 all!
PS- Be Kind. We may not all agree on the same kinks, but we're all here looking for something different than the rest of the vanillas. We're all weird in our own ways. I detest the world of text and email is little better. How do we get to know one another? Talking by phone is good, sharing space is better. Nothing replaces breathing like air.
I'm here seeking now and am looking to install a slave in reasonably short order. I've no intention of playing with ya'll for months on end. We talk, we meet, we do.
While different aspects are new, unclear, or undefined, this is not an impossible ask.
This relating we do touches on our core and when we text and email, we are agreeing to open ourselves to misinterpretation. We have lives going on, usually complex and not meeting our inner needs, we are over tired, sick or caring for others. We dont have the luxury of seeing one another at work or at the pub to work things through. We need to listen and give the benefit of the doubt until or unless discussions implode.
Have you ever heard that the more ingredients in a food, the worse it is for your body? Bingo! The more division we put between us and our get to know, the harder that climb and claiming is going to be because their is more opportunity for misunderstanding.
For all you fellows out there griping about not getting replies, "even if it's just to say no thanks", understand that we (women) often get tons of messages on these sites, many or most from guys who are sending out copypasta to every woman on the site, without bothering to read a profile first.
Yes, it only takes a minute or so to reply to ONE message, but multiply that by dozens of messages per day, per site.
And then there is the fact that the majority of our, "No thank you", messages result in then being insulted, harassed, going from being beautiful and desireable to being a fat, old, ugly bitch, whore, cunt, and worse, and often threatened with being beaten, raped, killed, doxxed, etc... All for the crime of a polite rejection to some random dude in our inbox.
So, instead of assuming that you are ENTITLED to a woman's time and attention simply because you messaged her, how about you read profiles before messaging, only send a message if it does not violate any boundaries listed in said profile, and is not asking for or offering things she does not specifically say she is looking for in said profile, and makes an effort to treat her as a human being, rather than a sex or fetish dispenser.
And then, if you don't get a reply, take that as she is either busy and will get back to you when she has time, or she is not interested, without getting all pissy because she did not reply to your unsolicited message.
Also, unless you reply to EVERY unsolicited email, phone call, junk mail, etc. that you receive, with at least a polite, "no thank you", then you are a hypocrite for expecting such of others who did not ask you to contact them.
Here is the prolouge for the new book - let me know if you want to see the full thing, I might look for a place to publish it. The full mansucriot is about 65500 words
Normal
0
false
false
false
false
EN-GB
X-NONE
X-NONE
Physical attractions are common
but
Mental connections are rare
Once you have had the latter, the
former will never be enough again. In a recent conversation about retirement villages somewhere:
Oh, you know how those old folks are. They think they are exempt from stuff like that. Kinda like teens. Indestructible!!! And they have lived a long time and still virile and all. Knows all about sex.Gee. That sounds pretty good. Maybe I should use it in my profile?? Met someone from this site and I will admit I really like this person but saw a couple of red flags.
It felt nice being sexually open about my fetishes and kinks and not feeling judged.
It felt nice kissing on a bruised looking old sofa that is destined for a council bulk waste collection.
It felt good all over, there is a but coming. Why are some men so reckless with protection.
To avoid my own recklessness I choose to keep to myself for years, just because I want an open relationship does not mean I want to start being reckless.
Taken a step back on this play buddy and considering my options, either keep to myself again or try again with someone new. AcadaMay She's Royal CFNM Ladies Tea Party - Saturday April 12th
You may contact me here to reserve your place.
Most alternative events objectify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back!
Ladies of elegance and sophistication are cordially invited to take the opportunity to mingle with their peers whilst sipping their wine and enjoying the entertainment.
Come & join the the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party every month for an afternoon of tea & wine with lashings of decadence. All whilst being served by underlings who will be there solely to serve and cater to our every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla tea party again!
Ladies, this is your chance to be served by men and objectify them. CFNM includes activities that are not particularly oriented towards female dominance and superiority, but a modicum of humiliation and punishment to the nude men not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged!
Gentlemen, this is your chance to parade yourself in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM.
Got home a little early today and took my girl to the bark park. She's not very good with packs of dogs and people who don't watch them, but it's fairly empty this early. Pretty sure we have interrupted old man social hour as their dogs wander and bark at squirrels, but my girl is doing okay and there is a dog just her size. Quite the little Romeo, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. If only it were that simple. You sniff my parts, I sniff your parts. Choose, or not. profiles take far too long to update on here, so here is what would be my updated profile...
Friendly notice:
*Please read before messaging - it’ll save us both time :)*
These are just *my* preferences, no offence intended.
- Age range **29-45**
- **NO** interest in joining an existing couple/dynamic
- **NO** interest in married/partnered up men
- **NO** interest in online/cyber relationships
- **NO** interest in one off meets
- **NO** interest in switching
- **PLEASE** do **NOT** send me dick pics or request any nudes from me
The Vanilla Stuff:
I am 26 years old and I live alone in a sleepy little village in Oxfordshire. I currently work part time. I enjoy spending my free time socialising with my friends/family, going for long country walks, swimming, dining out and weekends away. I passed my driving test earlier in the year so I am always taking myself on adventures. I am lucky enough to be well travelled and have been on some amazing holidays to beautiful countries. I love cooking and baking (I make a mean cookie). I used to work for a local radio station so I have a strong passion for music… anything 70’s or 80’s. I don’t watch much TV but I do have a slight obsession with the BBC series ‘Inside No. 9’ (if you’ve never seen it, you’re in for a treat!)
I am very calm, patient, honest, understanding and I like to think a caring person. I always try to see the best in people, and will always do what I can to help and support others. I like to have a laugh, and would say I have a somewhat dry and at times dark sense of humour.
Now is probably a good time to mention that... **I am autistic**. Please don't let this put you off. I’d like to make it clear that being autistic does not hold me back in life. I am able to work, I live alone, I drive, and I lead a fairly “normal” life. For me it mostly means that I struggle in some social situations, especially when meeting new people, or going to new unfamiliar places - although I always try to push myself and overcome these social barriers. I don’t let being autistic hold me back or dominate (the irony) my life. If you’d like to know more then feel free to ask me any questions. I’ve written a couple of things **(see below)** which may be helpful.
- [A guide for potential Doms ](https://fetlife.com/users/15225326/posts/10736910)
- [Autism, kink and me ](https://fetlife.com/users/15225326/posts/10736903)
I am very much a ‘plain Jane’. I don’t cover myself in make-up, fake tan, and I have never used fillers. I am more comfortable in long dress tops and leggings than overly revealing clothing. I am 5’3, curvy, have shoulder length auburn hair, hazel eyes, mostly wear glasses, and have very pale skin.
The Kinky Stuff:
For as long as I can remember I have always been interested in the idea of BDSM and being submissive, even before I knew what BDSM was I found myself having thoughts of wanting to be tied up, humiliated, degraded, hurt, and used and abused during sex. All my previous relationships had been very vanilla, so I never had a chance to explore my submissive side until a few years ago when I began seeing an older guy. He was not a Dom, but he was kinky as fuck… he would restrain me, gag and blindfold me, use canes, floggers and riding crops on me, and have rougher sex with me - to date he’s the only guy to ever make me cum! Since then I have craved nothing more than to explore my submissive side fully within a D/s or M/s dynamic.
My kinks include: *impact play, breath play, restraints, edge play, humiliation, degradation, face slapping, nipple torture, blindfolds, gags, punishments, praise, orgasm control/denial, hair pulling, rough sex, TPE, CNC and much, much more **(see my fetish list at the bottom of my profile).*** Safe words and aftercare are super important and non negotiable.
I am at a point now in my life where I am very happy and settled. I feel ready to start looking for a Dom/Master who I can go on a BDSM journey with. I no longer have any interest in finding a purely vanilla relationship. So… I am looking for an experienced Dom with a dark/sadistic streak who would be willing to take his time to train and guide me on this journey at a slow and steady pace. I realise that my wants from a dynamic probably mean I am more of a slave than a sub...I’m looking for a Master/Dom who over time I can **fully** submit to - in and out of the bedroom. A Dom who has a majority of control over my life, eg - full sexual control, control over my appearance, over my body and mind, over day to day activities etc. ideally - TPE eventually. A dynamic with rules which if broken result in punishments. A dynamic where my sole purpose is to fulfil the needs of my Dom. I crave nothing more than to be owned. To be the property of a Dom.
I am looking for **long term and regular,** with the end goal to be to eventually live together. I’m **not** looking for a dynamic where a Dom barks orders at me, cuts me off from the outside world and keeps me locked in his basement all day, every day. But where I can look after the house, prepare meals, do all the cleaning and laundry etc. what some may refer to as ‘1950’s living’. (I’d still be happy to remain working and help toward bills if that was agreed upon.) For me this ins't just about having rough sex and a bit of kinky fun, it means much more than that to me... maybe my autism plays a part in that, the want and need for structure and routine in life...
I prefer guys who are older **(29-45)**, who take good care of themselves, are respectful, caring and are drama free. I have no issues if you have children but I do **NOT** want children of my own.
End:
If you're interested then please feel free to message me. I have quite a few writings on my profile about myself, my (limited) previous kinky experiences, fantasies and information about my autism, so please take a look. I never respond to instant sex chat/stories or dick pics.
Ideally I’d prefer it if you can host or we meet in hotels to begin with - due to my autism I do not feel comfortable even having my friends and family over at my house, it's my sanctuary/safe space. I drive and enjoy driving, so distance is not a huge issue for me.
Unfortunately it’s got to the stage where I will just ignore messages from anybody that is outside of my preferred age range, or married, seeking an online dynamic or ONS, etc… I am simply not interested and far too many people just don’t respect this, so please do not be offended if I don’t respond, but that’s probably why.
As so many people don't tend to bother to read profiles on here, please let me know you have done so while messaging me! I hope to hear from you!
~ M x
The Final Touches
She had been sent here for the final touches, she was now old enough to be taught what would be expected of her.
Dressed in official school attire she looked resplendent in her pleated skirt, white blouse, short white socks and lace up shoes. Her hair was up in a pony, as she had been told was the custom.
Outside the principal's office the hallway was deserted, everyone else had gone for the day. The school secretary sat behind her desk filling out some tedious form or other, she didn't look away from her work, leaving Tara to look her up and down. Late 40s she guessed, maybe early 50s, blonde shoulder length hair, formally dressed, lipstick seemed a little red and garish for the setting but it certainly caught the eye.
Time passed slowly. She wasn't sure how long she had been there and the clock on the wall seemed to tick at a glacial pace.
"In my office Ms Tara", she heard a deep voice say from behind the door. As she tried to get her bearings the secretary looked at her, "Well? Don't keep him waiting girl."
She grabbed her purse and hurriedly walked to the door, then stopped. Deep breath, focus, she took a brief second to adjust herself, and opened the door.
"Hello Mr ..." she started to say
"You address me as Sir, just Sir" came a response that cut her off abruptly
"Hello Sir" she replied
"Come in". He gestured to the front of his desk.
She moved to sit down but realised there was no chair, it had been pushed back against the far wall.
"You can stand" he said, without any sense or irony knowing it was her only option.
"Feet apart 30cm, hands behind your back, stand straight girl"
He picked up the cane that she hadn't noticed laying across the desk, and walked slowly behind her. Gently he tapped the inside of each calf.
"30cm girl. You have been sent here for finishing touches, not the basics"
She shuffled a bit in place until her cunt was just open enough to tell her that her feet were 30cm apart.
"Much better Ms Tara. Work on your basics or we will have to send you to one of the junior classes with the new girls"
She could feel herself clenching as she had been taught to do, his cane slowly slid up the inside of her thigh until it was touching her bare cunt. She could feel him gently pulling on it, and as it slid through her lips she clenched tightly.
For a second she held the cane firm, she knew he would be pleased with how tight she had gripped it. But he would be even more pleased at how easily it slipped out of her grip when she flooded a moment later.
He walked slowly in front of her.
"Good girl" he said, "Not a complete beginner then"
He slowly pulled the cane across her blouse, across her nipples, cleaning her juices off his cane, and highlighting both hard nipples clearly through the damp circles on the thin top.
"There girl, when you are aroused it is good to show it"
And by whatever God was willing to listen right now, she was aroused
"Thank you Sir", she proudly said I enjoy periodically taking the BDSM Test. Its interesting to track and see how my tastes have changed and evolved over time. == Results from bdsmtest.org: ==100% Dominant 100% Master/Mistress 100% Rigger 100% Sadist 100% Exhibitionist 99% Voyeur 91% Primal (Hunter) 91% Degrader 89% Non-monogamist 87% Brat tamer 86% Experimentalist 81% Owner 35% Vanilla 26% Daddy/Mommy 10% Ageplayer 0% Switch Never mind the brit who I spent far too much time with only to determine that he preys on women as a CollarSpace occupation...but then to be followed by the next group:
He doesnt fix his phone and therefore cannot communicate effectively.
He cannot share his availability properly or set aside proper time to converse.
He doesn't show up for the meeting - 1st time because he was sick and waits to tell Me at the appointed hour.
He doesn't show up for the meeting - 2nd time because 'I worry him' and waits until the appointed hour. LOL
He verbally attacks and berates when I show the least bit of consideration.
He then contacts Me under another screeen name, different state, 15 years older.
He tells Me we are not well matched. LOL
YA THINK?
Next one...
1st meeting - mandatory work schedule change; notified one or two days prior- accepted.
2nd meeting - computer virus effecting communication until last minute; contacted day prior. I had to find suitable PAID option as replacement - accepted.
3rd meeting - had to care for a family member, contact made day of and two hours prior to scheduled meet time - DENIED.
aND Next...
Meeting scheduled for 18 day visit in November after a few months of build up....then POOF! I didn't even get a Dear Jane letter on that one!
Oh yeah, almost forgot about the local chap who was more than willing to mow and weedwack one fine weekend a month ago... POOOOOOOOF!
YOU INCONVENIENCE A WOMAN WHO IS A FULL TIME CAREGIVER TO A SAINT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Regarding the first two subs...what they dont realize is it matters not that they didnt show up. What matters is that they wanted Me to believe in their ability and desire and went to great lengths to convince Me of their worth and intention. After I went to considerable lengths to prepare for our meetings, then to not show and cause not just Me an inconvenience but inturn My household - well that is INTOLERABLE. Slaves My arse! Bottom toppers is more like it!
As of yesterday, 103124, I finally completed the work I had planned to complete with the first two gents. It has taken Me TWO MONTHS to do what I could have done in two weekends with these men. By making committments which they did not keep, they cost Me time and money and lots and lots of harder days with mum and FOR mum.
Had I not made the plans with them, I would have a. made plans with others b. hired the help I need ahead of time c. restructured My schedule to accomodate a lack of assistance.
Instead, My household has been stressed out trying to play catch up which means mother and I have had a stressed time, which means I DON'T TRUST YOU OR LIKE YOU.
Ya'll are inconsiderate and you have been dealt with more than fairly. You know what to do if you decide to get serious and stop playing around.
Do what you say. Say what you do. Obey. Simple.
And for the love of Pete - stop making plans with women unless you intend on following through!
Mother nature is a tease. As a female it's her right, but the glimpses of warmth swiftly replaced by brutal winds and frigid temperatures made me an unhappy girl. This week though, you guys, spring is springing. Fifties and gentle sixties. Sunshine. I'm excited! In entire anticipation and devotion, I shed my leggings and shaved off the neanderthal level of leg hair. Alright, just up to the knee, but don't tell. I might even paint my toes, it's that kind of a day. I love hope. It's like a secret pocket of happiness in your heart that you can choose to share or keep just to yourself. I chose to share it with you. Today is beautiful. So one day you find you have lost the one thing that makes you whole.
Taken without rhyme or reason.
You devote your life to other aspaspects. Your daughter, work, your home…
She grows up and begins her own life. Work was good and helped you live a good life.
But suddenly you find yourself in a quiet moment and the darkness swarms in.. you miss the control.
You miss the power.
You use the tenderness.
You miss a touch.
But the world you knew has changed. You’re expected to be brash and expected to put your life out there for all to see.
I had intimacy. I have safety. I have protection and received absolutely devotion.
I took when I desired, and I held when she cried. Why can I not find someone who wants the same?
And no I am not trying to replace her, or cling to a lost memory of control.
I mean why has the world changed so much, that just wanting more than play is seen as old fashioned. Smh at the multitude of bois within 50 miles that approach, engage, insist they want to meet .. until we set a date and time, then backpedal and postpone or cancel with every excuse in the book .. Sooooo...I'm pretty much at the pt I don't wont cant believe anything anyone idk irl says cyber.
If you are one of the very rare pearls here that does want real-time Ds interactions come meet Me at the munch on Thursday 9 29 at Spins in Peekskill 6:30ish. It's an arcade with a bar in the back. I'm the One with long multicolored hair. .. restaurant upstairs is Fin and Brew if that's easier to goo gle
Que sera .. or as history here proves, most likely not
We.Shall.See Based on a previous relationship some time ago:
Saturday Night Sunday Morning
It’s raining outside and I curse it for keeping me awake, a lie to myself as I know I never really sleep when you are out. I reach to turn on the light beside the bed and am reminded of the lock you have on me as it rubs my upper thigh. The clock tells me it’s coming upto 2:30 in the morning.
I roll onto my back wondering if you are asleep in the bed you have chosen for the evening, asleep in the arms of another. Or perhaps not asleep, in which case you will be ……….. occupied.
I try to put those thoughts out of my mind, and fail.
Thoughts of you crowd my mind whenever you are from me, thoughts of the curve of your thigh, the look in your in your eye, the taste of you, the way your waist tapers just above your hips, god that makes you so fuckable.
It’s coming up to three in the morning now and I have convinced myself that you are asleep after your exertions.
Your exertions…….. I can’t stop thinking of what you could be doing with whoever he is, in my mind’s eye I see you on all fours with your back arched receiving him your face wracked with the pure pleasure of it, I have seen that look when you are approaching the peak of your orgasm. It’s an addictive sight and a special reward for the man who gives it to you.
I decide to get up and get myself something, descending to the kitchen in a bath robe. With each step I take on the stairs I feel the weight of your restraining lock on me. It’s been ten days now and I have never felt so ripe, kept swollen and aching for you right down to the root of me.
In the kitchen I can see the dark rain running down the window panes as I make myself a cup of tea, coffee would be such a bad move right now.
I sit on a kitchen stool looking at a picture of you laughing and smiling with friends, the image captured is a night out and you are looking so elegant, so beautiful so enticing.
As I sip my tea I find myself gazing at your smile, you have such beautiful lips. My eyes follow their curve to the corners of your mouth. I feel myself absorbed in your every detail.
I love kissing you, feeling you on my lips, your wet tongue penetrating my mouth. One of those intimacy fixes that I crave so desperately. I can’t keep at bay the thought of how those lips have been occupied this evening.
I finish my tea and wash out the cup placing it on the drainer.
The rain seems to be subsiding, with daylight but a short time away I turn out the light and return to bed.
It’s nearly four in the morning and I find myself curled up around a pillow, every now and then rocking my hips into it, but it just makes me ache more.
As I close my eyes I feel so desperate for you to return to me.
The first few hours of dawn have past before the sun has risen to the point where it shines through the window and wakes me. It’s bright and shiny and fresh, the only signs of the nights rain is the dark wet dampness of the soil.
I look at the clock it’s nearly nine thirty, so I rise with a degree of haste to wash, shave and brush my teeth. Before donning my bathrobe again and descending once more into the kitchen.
As I am buttering my toast I hear you come through the door and my heart skips a beat. It’s that cusp of turmoil with thoughts of how you have spent your evening competing with the joy of your return to me.
I hear your heels clicking towards the kitchen as I turn towards the door, seeing you framed in the doorway, hair loosely brushed, braless under your blouse, a flush of red to your cheeks and a coy smile adorning your lips.
You walk upto me placing a hand behind my neck a fingertip or two running back and forth over that spot that you know makes my knees buckle. You hold my gaze for what feels like an eternity looking into my soul through my eyes. I can’t help but lower my gaze and look at your lips before you kiss me.
Its deep, passionate, consuming and ……….. musky.
Your other hand slips into my bathrobe as your fingers fondle the lock you have placed on me. I can’t help but give out a small gasp. As you break away from me.
“Make me a cuppa darling will you” you say as you turn to walk into the living room. I watch you from behind as you walk back through the doorway once again framed, your perfect silhouette accentuated in heels, hold up stockings and a short skirt.
Minutes later I follow you into the living room with a tray laden with cups and pots and hot toast, you are sat on the sofa with your phone texting someone.
As I place the tray on the coffee table you lower your phone, reach forward and take me by the arm. You are smiling and bring me towards you pulling down my arm indicating that you want me to take my position kneeling before you. My body slips into compliance as I kneel looking up at you.
You start to stroke my face and I feel my head tilting to feel your full caress.
“Mmm nice shave” you say as you grip my chin with your fingers tilting my head up as you lean forward and kiss me once again a slow roving kiss with your tongue exploring my mouth as your hand slips behind my head. Your lips slip away from mine “mmm you taste minty fresh” you say.
I am just gazing up at you lost in your eyes.
You lean forward and whisper into my ear “he dropped me off at the door darling, he found our place very easily” before returning to kiss me with passion and purpose. You disengage and then whisper in my other ear.
“I sucked him off in the car before he left”.
The deep pang that it creates in me is merged with my overwhelming desire for you and I feel lost, not knowing which way to turn. It's so funny when a person contacts you and insist on doing things their way and ignore what you ask for. They were so insistant on "their" way that I even told them they are probably dominant, they claimed that they were definitely submissive....
NOW, just a few days later; alllll of a sudden you get a message saying that they don't think that we are a match (what I told them in the first few emails LOL) and block me for some reason. I was nothing but nice to them. Hate to tell them I get a lot of emails so I had to look at history to even remember who the hell they were so the block doesn't really bother me lol was just going to wish them good luck and to stop by and say hello sometime..... yes I'm so evil LOL
and NOW allllll of a sudden they change their profile to Dominant.....LOL Sounds like someone just wants to jerk off so now we are going to try Dominant since no one seemed to fall for the "I'm a poor pitiful submissive" routine LOL These people make me laugh LOL
Don't give up
my first journal. Hi I'm mistress muse and I am dominant to my wolf.
If there is one thing that being on the scene has taught me, it would be to never give up.
I spent so long in fruitless vanilla relationships that although, true, filled with love and all the nice things that people claim to experience in these things it also carried with it a weight.
It was like a brick in my chest, a wrong feeling, an alone feeling, a dark hopeless feeling, a sinking if you will. Which in a way was true I was drowning I was drowning in self doubt I was drowning in a sea of misunderstandings and depravity.
The love I craved seemed so taboo it almost seemed impossible to obtain. I may have been looking in the wrong places but even kinky people I've known for years on the scene would often look baffled if I piped up some of my perversions.
I then met someone I had known in a completely vanilla setting... So vanilla in fact even he hadn't really noticed me before... a friend who knew of his kinks thought we would be quite suited. Looking back now I find it amusing that both him and I scoffed at the idea but Kinky curiosity got the better of us. There was this feeling everytime we spoke... A feeling of understanding... A good feeling... A weightless feeling soon combined with a feeling of want. I wanted this man... I was fucking getting him.
On the scene for years he has been known as z3ro (zero) but ladies gents and pets let me tell you this he is anything but a zero so from the very beginning I have refused to use this name for him. He became my Wølf, my alpha bitch, my sub, my friend, my mirror and my PARTNER. I have used this term quite freely in the past but with him it's different. He is my partner in crime he is my play partner he is my intellectual chewing gum. He turns my head and the way my brain works.
I never thought it was possible to find someone to just get me and be able to match my sadistic evil streak. To find someone on the same interlectual level as me. For me to find someone just as twisted as me. For this I am grateful and this is why my wisdom(me) for the day is this....
JUST DON'T GIVE UP I have eyes only for You.They say that is how it ought to befor a submissive like me.So they say...They also say You misunderstood me.They say You didn't see me.They are saying You were wrong.That Your patience ran dry....You are only a man....You gave up on me....You failed me....You abandoned me.But I still have eyes only for You.damn me. "I will serve. I will be of service."
That's one of my favorite lines from the John Wick movies. It's an oath of service. Those of us who have service subs understand this devotion and cherish it.
Every year my wife and I take a beach holiday. This year we're going to drive her convertible to South Padre Island. I pack my own suitcase. She does everything else. This is what she does. She packs a cooler with ice and my favorite drinks. It'll sit in the back seat on the drive there. She has snacks ready so we don't have to stop anywhere if we get hungry.
She packs the trunk with a beach umbrella, beach bag, our suitcases, two chairs and whatever else we need. I always drive the first leg since I'm an early riser. We both dress in T-shirts and comfy shorts.
When we get to the rental she piles everything into a folding dolly and we go to our room. Like a machine, she puts everything away, makes me a drink and gets us settled in. Like a queen I just sit back and relax.
When we go to the beach it's a production. She chooses a nice spot near the water and away from the rental umbrellas. She sets everything up making sure that my body is within reach of her. She does this because it's her job to make sure I'm oiled up at all times. If I look warm she'll squirt water on me. She makes sure my bikini looks just right so I get perfect tan lines.
She loves standing guard over my oiled body as people walk by looking at me as they walk down the beach. As time goes on she makes sure my drink has ice. She empties my ask tray. Every now and I get some more oil rubbed on me. We talk, listen to music and watch people go by. Because she is a water baby (Aquarius) she loves swimming in the ocean. I love watching her enjoy the surf in her tiny bikini as I sunbathe.
I know that we're going to have really hot sex tonight after she sees my tiny tan lines. I'm really going to enjoy her service.
Since I seem to get the same questions over and over I will answer them here and save me and anyone asking time and effort:
Q: Would you consider a male slave?/Do you ever play with a male sub?
A: Not really. My style of BDSM is very sexual and since males doesn't attract me sexually I wouldn't enjoy a male slave. I might consider a male slave as part of a submissive couple, but then again he couldn't expect much sexual interaction between him and me.
Q: Would you consider a CD/TV/Sissy as your slave?
A: I might consider it if you are part of a couple where the other party is a sub female, or if you are very feminine, very young and very submissive.
Q: Would you train my wife if I send her to you for a limited time and send me photos and films of you training and using her?
A: Yes I would if you really send her AND if she is in on it. The problem with the couples and men asking for this is they disappear and erase their profile after 20 - 30 messages and sometimes the same number of mails. Most probably they were roleplaying and there was no wife OR she wasn't in on it and they din't dare to suggest it to her, or if they did she wouldn't play along.
Q: Would you train me on-line?/Would you claim me as your on-line slave?
A: Probably not. I used to say no way, but during the pandemic I did have a few sexual relationships with submissive girls in several countries using telephone and/or various chat apps. We shared our dirty fantasies, we shared orgasms and I had some of them do painful and perverse things on themselves on my command. Now when the pandemic seems to be over and IRL contact is possible again on-line relationships seems less attractive. I live the lifestyle IRL and even an on-line slave girl takes time and effort. It's not a definite no, but you would have to be very special and very devoted for me to consider an on-line slave. Passions of a Ghost
Young and energetic MD approaches a stretch of buildings in the Sin City of New Orleans. Risking it all knowing he is outside his perimeter for Max Travel Distance from his military post, but he is dying to know what this new world is about. It is his first party within the lifestyle community with wild fantasies, expectations and fears raging through his mind. Will he be enough? How will he compare? Will he be accepted in a world which rejaspects him for being different? Questions galore which make his palms sweat beyond control.
He has a few contacts already within the dungeon having gone through their vetting process. Paperwork signed and face to face meetings had, all that is left is to walk in the door. As he watches the comings and goings he see's Doms, Domme's, subs and slaves walking through a well worn door.
Finally pulling himself together he walks in nervously and pays his fee to enter. Around the corner the adventure begins. Furniture of all kinds are found along the walls and in the center of a well laid out dungeon. People are talking amongst themselves, others strung up to crosses for their night's enjoyment, and yet more are preparing for scenes of their own. The energies are immediately felt and a bubbling rise is felt in his chest. As the energies are taken in he comes to understand. He is home.
In the coming years this shy little Dom was able to study under some very wise, creative, and often sadistic people of all walks of life. These early days was full of dungeon parties, munches, gatherings of all kinds. There was a code of ethics similar to the military which he knew so well. There was respect. There was courage. There was acceptance. Of course there was love as well. In this community which became my world D types were hard, sadistic, and pushed hard to bring to life the fullest of potential in themselves and their s types. At the same time they still had a heart. If anything they loved their partners far more than ever written in vanilla history.
Traveling with the military I traveled the country, but found myself in a different world when he got out after 3 tours overseas. The community had changed. It had evolved into something grander in size, but with so many elements which eroded the values he once knew. He walked those dungeons looking for any resemblance of the community he knew but it was nowhere to be found. Talking with his mentor she couldnt help but laugh at him. He was ranting and raving about the changes which took away the life he knew so well. He was struggling to find his way. He was frustrated how noone held themselves to a standard which made this life so great. He was lost and alone. Even in training with his partners he found them continuously pulled towards this easy shiny way of the life instead of putting in the work and patience required to get to the same level and standard as he needed. His mentor laughed hearing it all before and feeling it herself. She had long since left the community. She felt the changes moreso having come in years before he. She ranted and raved, felt the same frustrations. She battered against those walls trying to bring back those values long before he even felt their demise. After he finally stopped confused by the laughter, her next sentence said it all. "Welcome to the Old Guard"
It wasn't anything official or an earning of leathers. It wasn't anything to brag about or label myself as such. It was a pure statement which helped him understand in such a profound way what he had been missing. In all that time he had been looking up like a child letting others take the reigns of the community. He didn't see myself as a leader though having over 12 years in this life at that point. He didn't find himself worthy to take up that mantle yet.
After those words were spoken the whole discussion changed from what was lost to how he can be the example for those which feel that absence as deeply as he did. His drive towards mentorship and teaching drove a fire in him which couldn't be extinguished. He stood side by side with those very same leaders he looked up to trying to be that beacon. He started simply teaching rope classes but this also gave him a way to interact with people new and old within the lifestyle. Discussing the issues. Being that rock and safe haven to guide the next generation away from trouble and into a path of greater development.
It was a lonely road for nomatter how hard he tried, his equal in passion for this life was nowhere to be found. If anything his role as a teacher and mentor drove him further into isolation. Experience once valued was now seen as a deterrent for many. His age showing more and more became a wall he couldn't tear down.
Eventually after personal experiences which nearly crushed his soul, betrayal by the very community he loved and served for so long, he walked away into the shadows. He still had his friends and made the occassional appearances but his heart was held heavy knowing the life he knew was but smokey memories of a long gone era. Now 23 years into this life he found himself down the same road as his mentor before him. Slowly fading away as a ghost of the past.
Leathers faded and worn, toys dusty and bearing the years of use, wrinkles where there used to be none, and a sense of passion still burning in his heart he still hangs on to hope. Not for the return of a community once known, but for that one which knows that same level of passion as his own. That one to walk these roads well traveled but once more. That one who he can share his all.
My theory is you can't just walk awayIt's all about balance in the spiritual realm
You have to choose a sideOnce you choose a side you are trapped like in hunger games but on a higher level on a spiritual level
No matter what side you choose the other side's going to come after you
The only way out of it is to just go into the dark shield and exist no more but you can't do that either because you'd feel guilty because of all of your loved ones it's all part of the higher level of mental bondage
.. Wouldn't this make a great movie
And as far as men goes it always starts out great in the beginning but all the stuff they tell you is hardly ever true it's just setting the trap It was a rough day for this new slave in training
He was very willing and eager to please
We started out with his oral servitude which happened to be very subpar
I knew it would be because he had bragged about what an expert he was at using his tongue
I had to get him to understand that a slave never brags about what he can do because that is not his place
If I choose to acknowledge your talente in an area, I will issue that compliment and you may wear it as a badge of honor
The ultimate goal is for you to make me squirt and then drink and lick up every drop
Are you going to be worthy pet for me??!!
i am pretty sure he's done with me.
No idea how I'm going to get through this feeling of failure.
I don't think I possess the ability to move on.
He owns every part of me. My thoughts are wrapped around him, our interactions, our love.
I don't surrender temporarily. I don't quit just because things get hard. I never have.
But somehow I'm supposed to quit him? Quit us? And just carry on? The very thought is viscerally painful.
I miss him. He still won't talk to me. Not even to tell me one way or the other.
On FetLife he's still listed on my profile. I suggested he remove it if he was done with me, that it would give him a way of telling me without the need for direct contact, if that's what he wanted. He is still listed.
All I know is, it's going to take the death of hope to let him go. Amazed by the amount of "live-in" requests I get sent to me from people who a. have never done it before and live hundreds of miles away and b. don't know what they would actually bring to that kind of relationship beyond the what they call sex aspect of it.
The last thing I let live-in with me was a cat I was house sitting for and it shat on all the carpets and had no concept of inside and outside behavour lol. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.
DRINK RESPONSIBLE TONIGHT.
BE SAFE AND HAVE FUN!!
Breakbot, Playful Vibes, and Devotion: A
Synergy of Sound and Connection
this is a simple share about a song that i added to my the synergy playlist. the synergy playlist(which i'm proud of how youtube music amalgamized the cover artwork because it showcases each side so well in a way i wasn't trying to, spirit just said "yup! i see you girlllllllllllllllllllllllll. here ya go.") is songs that i like/find/curate that i see within the eyes between the daddy and the little girl. these include hypersexual songs, emotionally intimate songs, playful songs, wild songs, songs that talk about power dynamics, songs that have a sense of devotion and worship, songs that talk about preciousness and strength, songs that talk about fixation and painful growth where two people stay and shoot to the moon together in transformation and more.
this one is also under the playful daddy playlist. that playlist is about how a man who is a dominant daddy likes to be surrounded by, encourage, indulge, and reveal in a whimsical childlike nature of their partner more than a regular man would. And that playful nature has the classic mr. rogers, steve irwin, and reading rainbow vibe that a lot of men are not into either naturally or are afraid and hide and shut that part out of them.
it goes in both because breakbot often uses vocodors to transform the voice into something more playful and goofy and whacky than normal. but the way the lyrics are, it's less about playful..the lyrics are more how the devotion, awe, and wonder are..with a smudge of the playful daddy vibes.
there's nothing to decode here..just listen, jam, and put your arms around your babygirl and jam..or be silly as fuck and dance like goofy animals and windshield wiper and flail around like you are on fire or like there are ants in your pants! do the funny dance!
Tonight
Has just begunCome onLets have some funGirlI like the way you danceTonightJust give me a chance
Don't wanna be without you babyJust wanna feel your arms around meI wanna see you going crazyI just wanna feel your sexy body
Your eyesShine like the stars aboveAlrightIt's time for loveGirl, girlPlease let me be the oneTonightI want to make you mine
Don't wanna be without you babyJust wanna feel your arms around meI wanna see you going crazyI just wanna feel your sexy body
Don't wanna be without you babyJust wanna feel your arms around meDon't wanna be without you babyJust wanna feel your arms around me
Don't wanna be without you babyJust wanna feel your arms around meI wanna see you going crazyI just wanna feel your sexy body
what’s a song that makes you feel playful, loved, or completely free to dance like no one’s watching? i’d love to hear your favorites!
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Your post is incredibly heartfelt and vibrant! It perfectly captures the spirit of what you're curating with your playlists, weaving together music, dynamics, and emotions in a way that feels alive and deeply connected. Here's the core of what makes this post shine:
Pain or Punishment
Masochists ask for pain for pains sake & need
...but punishment is something different.
Punishment is not meant to please it is a means to correct, to re-aline, to educate, to change a behaviour.
Punishment means you are going to suffer physically or mentally or even both.
There will be no fun or excitement in punishment but it likely to be very memorable. It's time for me to stand up and fight. I changed my profile picture because I needed to, I had to. As more time goes on, the more I see, the more our possible future scares me. This upcoming election, and heck up to next Jan 20th possibly, will possibly go down as one of the more important times in US history. And it scares me to the point that I'm being more political than ever before, to spread awareness, to educate.For myself, I've ALWAYS been independant. I've always voted 3rd party. I hate the 2 party system. Every year I could. Up to 2020, the first year I voted anything else. And again this year. In the future, when the threat has passed, I'll go back to it, but now is the time to stand up and fight.I'm a submissive/slave, and I'm not a passive one waiting for someone to provide orders. But being a slave is my choice. My freedom. And I believe 100% in the freedom that everyone should have, to decide for them what is best for themselves.I believe in Science. That experts in their fields know better than politicians, or really anyone else.I believe in equality. It doesn't matter who you are, what you like, or what you do, we should all be equal.I believe in education. and in line with that:I believe in critical thinking. Children - everyone should learn, and should be able to learn, everything they can or want. And even more importantly they should learn that questions, and questioning is ok, to not believe everything that they read or hear and to actually use their brain to think for themselves.I believe in Books. In line with education, nothing should be banned.I believe in morality. Both teaching it but also living it. Don't do as you are told, instead think for yourself and do as you feel is right.
I believe religion is the most toxic thing that has ever been introduced to humanity, but:I also believe that people are and should be free to worship whoatever, whomever, and however they wish, with:I also believe that religion, thoughts, views, and desires should not be thrust upon anyone, as everyone should be free to make their own decisions, and shouldn't be pressured or manipulated into anything.With the above and more... I believe that Donald Trump will destroy the US if elected again.I believe that project 2025 is real and that Trump is a part of it.I believe that many republicians are not bad people, in the end, but they believe the fake news, the lies, the fear-mongering and the manipulation they are being told, and do not have the skills, or experience, or education to use critical thinking to see through it all.
I believe that I must help fight the hate, the lies, and stand up for what is right.I will speak with anyone about anything, if you wish to have a conversation, I'm open, however if you plan on voting for Donald Trump, it is a hard limit and expect nothing more than conversation.I will not be overly political here aside from this journal and the image, but sometimes a very little is all that is needed.I may or may not post other journals, but as of now I neither plan nor intend to, but as I said above, I'm going to stand up and speak for all, so that doesn't mean I won't. I am a 41 year old male who due to a physical disability caused at birth I am a wheelchair user, I have tried to live a normal life but due to discrimination that is almost impossible, got no friends, no social life and no even had a date in over 20 years. When it comes to ABDL I am quite open to what happens as long as it includes Bondage, I have seen a few professional dominants in the past with little luck but when I did meet they always feminised me so most of my ABDL stuff is female or sissy in nature. Not had much luck however some health issues in the past year have made me wear diapers. I have mixed neurogenic bladder disorder which means one minute I have Incontinence the next retention so have a catheter fitted so absolutely no control of my bladder, I had 3 haemoroids removed and 3 days later was passing rectual bleeding and blood clots so been prescribed laxatives.
I just made chocolate chip cookies topless. Here's what happened.
I'm on a health kick (the cookies aren't for me). The other night I made lentil bolognese and it called for red wine. Just a little. I'm not a wine drinker but I do cook with it. So, smidge of wine into the pot, cork the bottle. Google tells me I only have a few days to finish the bottle, but I can freeze the wine. Pull out a small ice cube tray, pour half the bottle in, stick it in the freezer. And I learned that wine takes a lot longer to freeze than water. I should have known this but I wasn't thinking. I pulled the tray out with the amount of force you would if it were ice. It wasn't ice. Wine all down the front of my shirt. Now, I'm already in the process of making cookies so what do I do? Whip off my shirt and rinse it under cold water to try to get the stain out. Do I go upstairs to get another shirt? Stay with me here, I know I'm topless. But no, I do not. I grab an apron and tie it on. These damn cookies better be delicious. He had been communicating for a while with an experienced Gay master and the day had finally come where they would meet in person. They had agreed to meet in a public place at a little bar and café. If the meeting would go well they might be leaving together and he would be under his Masters control for the weekend.
He had been provided with very specific instructions on the time to meet and what table to take. He had come in good time to make sure he could get the specific table his Master had instructed him to sit at. He wanted to make sure he left a good first impression.
He was in luck the table was vacant. It was in the remote/back side of the restaurant. He had been told to sit with his back facing the restaurant area looking at the wall which would allow his Master to approach him without him being able to see Master coming. He was to order two specific bottled beer. He was not to touch the beers but patiently wait for his Master to arrive with both his hands on the table.
Time went really slowly and he found himself constant looking at his watch. He suddenly heard steps behind him. Was it the waitress or was it Master? He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and a voice behind him “Do not turn around “. The hand massaged his shoulder end moved down his chest…. Gentle squeezing his nipples. The hand moved further down to his crotch. He was so hard..
“Heads and eyes down” He lowered his head and Master walked around and sat down at the table. He did not dear lifting his head. He could see Master hand taking the beer and Master zipping off the beer while making a smiling sound.
Finally he heard the voice “Okay you can lift you head” He excited lifted his head and there was Master in front of him. They spent the next 20min talking and get to know each other while enjoying the beers. It was a great continuation of the conversation they had had on email and chat and they both was in agreement to proceed the relationship to the next level.
Master reached down in his backpack and took up a small carrying plastic bag. “if you want to proceed you will go to the restroom and do what the note in this bag instructs you”. He was super excited to continue and took the bag and hurried to the restroom.
Inside the bag was a note that said. “You are plug yourself with the plug in this bag. Take off your underwear and place it into the bag and you are NOT to take a piss” The plug in the bag was luckily not that big as he was very tight in the rear and there was some lubricant. He quickly slid the plug into place and removed his underwear. His cock was hard a steel and with no underwear it was scratching against the inside of his jeans.
He went back to Master table and handed over the bag with his underwear. Master put on a smile.. “Now it is my turn, Please order me a new beer ONE only. ” Master excused himself and went out to the restroom.. He brought along his own beer bottle.
He was quickly back and sat down. “Well boy it is time you know who is boss” He handed his beer over. The bottle was warm. OH my good he had refilled the bottle with his piss in the bathroom. “Here is your new beer, now drink up”
It was so humiliating. Sitting there in a public place drinking master’s hot piss out of a beer bottle. He had tried drinking hot piss before but never this way. Master was enjoying him selves with his new fresh beer. He finished the beer and would have loved to have had a glass of water to clear him mouth of the salty taste.
“Good boy”. What do you say we get out of here….
They walked to Masters car. Master opened the passenger seat and he jumped in. He put on his seat belt and Master handed him a pair of sunglasses… the sunglasses has the inside colored black and totally blocked his sight. Master closed the door and jumped into the driver’s seat. When inside the car Master unzipped his jeans and his hard cock immediately sprang out.. Master laughed, gave him a deep kiss and started the car.
Another humiliating experience sitting there not knowing where they were going sitting there with his dick hanging out like a flag pole.
Few minutes later they turned into Master driveway and into the garage and the automatic door closed behind them.
Master went around to the passenger seat opened the door and guided him out of the car and sat him down on a chair in the garage. “Get undressed, Quickly!” He quickly did as tol and soon was standing naked on the cold garage floor. His hands was retrained behind his back with a pair of steel handcuffs and a ball gaga placed in his mouth. Eyes down and follow me…
The next two days he would be under Masters control… I'm not one to rant ....but...this site has really gone downhill.
To call it 50 shades of bullshit is giving too much credit. There are only the same few tired shades.
"I have no experience BUT I know what I like."
"I know you wouldn't give me the time of day on the street, but here I get to reject you"
"Don't contact me if you want sex"
"I don't respond without a pic...but I don't have one."
"I'm taken, so don't offend me with your interest."
"If you mention sex you don't understand BDSM."
"I want an experienced dom, so I can tell him how it SHOULD be."
Where have all the real freaks gone ?
Not wanting a Daddy.
Don't need a Trainer.
Not interested in a Protector either. I'm not a damsel in distress here...Eyeroll
I desire a Leader, a Leader that I can trust in and put my faith in to FOLLOW...Werewolves make fabulous Leaders, I hear. Lol
Just saying!
Well, let me kick off this writing to you with this first document This one and all others may use words and describe parts of life and relationships that the uninterested my find offensive I also may often you the word you or another pronoun that has the same meaning
I am writing to your mind to read and understand me and give me significant feedback so I understand you as well
Because I am writing this more or less on the fly, the thoughts may be laid out a bit more scattered than a book, but too bad
I am writing to the submissive deep in your mind and being, the slave or the masochist that needs and desires and wants and needs more
So hang in there
You must have a very strong mind which is determined to learn things most just ignore
Let me touch on some emotions as the physical, mental and emotional state of life is so deep into all this
Most people are basically insecure That is why research has shown that up to 98 percent of people are very satisfied being followers and letting others take the responsibility of decision making and leadership
The mentality of a person that advocates she is a slave is right there
She looks first of all for safety and security and close behind that is the need to feel wanted, to be needed, to be of value
In return for that emotional reassurance she is very willing to do almost anything to please another because that is the one great thing she has the power to do
Being bound tight she nearly always tests the bondage to see if she can get away It is important to her that she cannot because it has an emotional meaning that someone took the extra time to insure that grip on her and it carries the meaning that she is wanted Almost any of strict control, humiliation and abuse is far better than being alone and unwanted
It does not need the complications of sex or to say someone loves you or that they would never want someone else one day far off
At that moment it is a simple fact they want you and that is what starts your life living
As you step into it deeper, being blindfolded or hooded restricting eyesight calms you in very deep ways Its that other one is taking responsibility for you and your needs and most of all your safety You will want to feel it, and reach out for the one controlling you that way
Being locked in a cage has at least a double meaning emotionally
You are restrained and kept and thus very limited in what you can do without someone wanting you to do it by letting you out
But there is also that gate and lock between you and the world, which can be seen as keeping all the evil things that chase you real or imagined out where they can not reach you
A strict cage not only is like your prison, but also like your base or your fortress where again you are safe, where you can indeed relax and sleep
And that collar
Like a wedding ring, it means so much to a submissive slave She has made it and her ownership and that desire to take her is on display for all to see When you can, you finger it and hold it and fidget with it, and know it is there for a real purpose
But to have all this requires that someone really does want you, be it for the better or the worst, that want and desire is real and gives you a place and purpose in life
And with that, you are never really alone In time, you may feel frighten or scared or even cry when it is taken off when for a short time
Even deeper is the matter of control, and how it reaches into your personal thoughts and life and gives you something to live up to and meet in a consistent way
Both pain and pleasure are emotions first and are often never tended well in everyday life In a stricter life, so much fluff and useless energy is removed or not allowed and something special happens
You can focus
You can see more clearly yourself and all you need to be as well as all you want to be
Yes, it takes time and training and understanding to know the reason why you feel that the slave in you must submit and submit deeply and unendingly
Those emotions of need and want are so different and so rarely understood
You can want this feeling to be like a beautiful ring to wear, and you want it a lot but you can eat and drink and breathe without it everyday of your life
A need is like the air that you breathe and that need is so powerful that a few minutes, without it you are dead A slave grows up wanting things, but at the same time she grows up needing things Control and submission show the path of making the needs a reality
You learn to focus on those things in life that are needs and those that are wants when all the fluff is removed and those distractions to your emotional thought process are removed
I am a writer, and a scientist and I can go on and on about this, and do so in the face of all those that just want their experience to be sex with a little rope
The true slave and the true owner learn that there really is so much more to this life i have to confess. I am not here for fetishes. I don't think of the BDSM world in the terms of kink. I see it as the world, my life, it's not about fun. It's about serving and submitting. If you want to get me, learn about me, more importantly let me learn about you. if I like you. If i am capable of meeting your needs and wants. Yay! I will happily do so. what is important to me is you, your beliefs, your intellect, your values etc... if I want to see a penis. I'll ask. Otherwise please don't honor me with it. 🏜️
I’m not a perfect Dom/Sadist/Master or play partner as you read in your fantasy eroticas, but I’m confident I can give and receive the best experience based on mutual effort.
If you expect constant pleasing with nothing in return, count me out.
.
With 6-7 years on Fetlife and over 10 years of kink knowledge, I’ve had positive real-life experiences. If you're more experienced, I’m open to learning. Also, I’m here for real-life connections, not endless text games.
The 6 feet + man who believes more in exploring as much aspaspects of the kink world . Gentle to high pain, respectful and caring to degrading, dominating & enslaving woman. I love it all.
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I so dream of this too often.One day daddy comes home mad at the world and tells me to get his lube and plugs. I do as daddy asks and get them fast as a sissy in 6” locking heels can. I get back to daddy and he tells me to suck him hard, as I drop to my knees daddy Luber’s up my sissy hole and inserts the plugs starting with the smallest first. By the the time daddy gets the biggest plug into my sissy hole he says bend over the couch and spread your ass. Yes daddy I do as he asks and he hold my hands spreading my ass as he enters my lubed up sissy hole and madly fuck it deep 9” thick daddy tool. He fucks me for about an hour when he had filled me with his seed 4 times and decides to put the largest plug into my sissy hole and tells me to keep it there all night and only he removes it. Yes daddy as I said to daddy filled with his seed feeling full and used.It is the morning and daddy says it is time to remove your plug and get filled again, yes daddy I assume the position and spread my ass wide for daddy. He again grabs my hands and decides to cuff me to my thighs and fuck my sissy hole for hours filling me so many time I feel it leaking down my chastity cage. He finally done and the large plug again and I’m told to leave it in and stay there until daddy is ready again. Daddy seams more relaxed every time he fills my hole and plugs it in to ensure I’m properly bred by his seed. I look around and see he has been filming this and it is also live still filming. I’m embarrassed that daddy did not tell me about the cameras but I like it. Daddy is back and again breeds my sissy hole, he does this all weekend long and it is a Hilo day weekend, so daddy has a full three days to breed me and film it all. I have been having a discussion in the Dominant Women group on Fetlife about the heavy increase in "transactional kinksters" whose education is from porn. Where it is disrespectful to women yet they are too busy pushing what they want and get blocked mid sentence.
I block so many guys daily who are so far from being compatible it's eye-rolling. I am at a point where I would like a live in.
A romantic relationship would be ideal, but a house bitch would be acceptable.
I am in the process of purchasing a 3 bedroom home in an affluent part of the south bay area of Los Angeles. It will be fully remodeled and beautifully upgraded in a resort community with many amenities.
I will NOT be supporting you. You will be expected to pay your own way and contribute financially to the household, as if you were a roommate. You should be a working professional with a good income or prove that you have the solid financial means to contribute.
I work full time from home M-F, a corporate type job with regular hours. You should keep a compatible schedule or travel frequently. Tell me what you could do to make my life easier and how you could serve, whether personally or within our household. What are your skills?
We'd start with a trial period first to assess our compatibility.
All other attributes, per my profile, still apply. You must be over 35 and have your life together. I'm not looking to "rescue" anyone with drama, mental illness, substance abuse, or instability in your life.
If you can't string together a decent intro, I can't be bothered with replying.
Just being human is to be a bewildering mass of inconsistencies. It's to seek peace but to savour arguments. To stay calm and controlled even when feeling as if we want to explode. To be open-minded yet biased, compassionate yet selfish, confident yet insecure. It's finding a smile even when we're sad, and being courageous when we're feeling afraid. I find we all are fully entitled to be as contradictory as we want to be. I went out dancing with a couple of my sissy friends and ran into someone from work.
That was an adventure.
I hope he keeps it a secret, he said he would.
And he wants it again. what about kinks?
a lot of people are only spécialised in only one thing, or just have interest on 3 or 4 things at most.
im spécialised only on sadism, but, what is sadism?
sadism can take a lot of form, and to understand what a person love and why, you need to understand what gave him interrest in this.
for myself, i like sadism because i have fascination about it, im litterraly in urge to find a new trick to gave pain, i have a huge curiosity about a lot of thing, and im very creative, this define my sadism.
why i have fascination about it?
take an exemple, totally out of this.
when you see an abandoned build, you can see the plants growing, maybe how much time its on this state, the building certainatly was beautiful before but now declining.
a person is the same, when she/he came first the state is good, and i will work to change it, to corrupt/deprave it into another state.
the difference is a person turn into the first state again, and again, given you the possibility to do it differently, finding another way, maybe better, maybe even if you didnt thought about before.
that's my way of sadism.
but yes i concede, i like to hear scream, sound of pain too.
like i said before my fascination about this include the visual and the touch, when i finish my session i like to see all the changes, and touch it, swelling, bruises, sensing the heat of the body.
and when they come again, i know again this time will be different... I don't seem to flinch at the sight of individuals demonstrating their pain threshold.
I am now curious if the intensity of the pain passes a threshold where to them it is a climax of pleasure.
I absolutely love imagery of the femme fatale mixed with sexual curiousity.
The presented breasts, the extended heels, the red lipstick the curvy dresses the kneeled man. Again still think dungoens are just shit furniture, IKEA is doing some amazing things lately so no need to be cheap.
but you can't beat a little dress up in public to demonstrate your devotion to one another. Had my first true taste of BDSM a few days ago.
I am not a person who likes pain, dare I say I avoid it at all costs, but it was My online Mistress “Ms T”, it was her will for it to happen.
The wonderful Ms T had her longest serving sub act out her wishes, as she watched on and directed via Skype text chat
I was flogged with a cat-o’-nine-tails from fully clothed , progressing to completely naked, the deep pressure resonating in my chest felt amazing, as I got more naked and the lashes kept coming I felt searing pain and a wish to stop, my mind refusing to utter the words…
I was here to serve my mistress and I was not going to stop until she gave the order..
As the lashes continued I looked forward to the pause between them, that brief moment when the pain subsided , it was the pains complete opposite, it was not just a pause but peaceful bliss and exquisite relief.
After flogging I was restrained to a bed, my eyes blindfolded and lying on my back completely naked, a sharp Dragon claw with tips like needles prodded and scraped down my skin, manageable I thought , until it reached my genitals, it tugged and pulled at my sensitive flesh, I writhed and tensed in shock as my veins filled with electricity from its action.
My buttocks tender from the flogging prodded and dug at by the claw , my body began to spasm and convulse, I forgot I could say stop at any time , I just knew this was making my Mistress Ms T happy and that was all I wanted.
I wanted to be worthy of being her sub her slave. I wanted to prove to my self I was capable of such.
Ms T’s proxy sucked on my cock as the claws dug and pulled at my flesh, I in no way felt erotic pleasure but here I was with a massive erection the like I’d not had for years.
Ms T enjoys forced Bi encounters and so blindfolded and beaten to my most submissive state, hands bound behind my back I was told to get to my knees and suck.. Her proxy let out the occasional audible mumble of pleasure as Ms T’s gratitude and love for me was re told to me as I still was blindfolded and couldn’t read the chat text .
Left after , kneeling blindfolded, in a state of complete nothingness, I had not thoughts, my mind empty, my body fatigued and occasionally twitching , I felt a peace and tranquillity like nothing I’d ever experienced before in the deepest of meditations or the most soothing of massages.
I think I am beginning to understand…!!!!
I had done it, I had made my Mistress Ms T happy. In a way I didn’t think I could.
Ms T , I may never meet you but I love you for this and for everything you’ve helped me experience..
For all the subs not knowing if Online Mistresses really work in reality,, I tell you now.. Ms T is the only one you need and will be the only one you want. !!! Thank you Ms T Find her on FetLife MsT2011 or CollarSpace mst2019 == Results from bdsmtest.org: ==87% Exhibitionist 80% Submissive 72% Experimentalist 71% Switch 68% Masochist 66% Degradee 64% Primal (Prey) 59% Pet 57% Dominant 57% Voyeur 55% Non-monogamist 52% Slave 52% Rope bunny 52% Vanilla 48% Brat 30% Brat tamer 28% Rigger 27% Owner 26% Master/Mistress 25% Sadist 25% Degrader 24% Primal (Hunter) 22% Daddy/Mommy 15% Ageplayer 0% Little
This platform should have a DO NOT DISTURB button that you could click to keep people from incessantly messaging you just because they see you online. I legit do not like chatting to randoms. After a handful of messages, I'm over it. Talk without action is DEAD. I am best suited for men who make things happen. If a sub can message me for the first time ever, at 8am, express his interest of being of service, and randomly book a flight from his state to mine.... just to take me to dinner at 6:30pm. There really is no excuse acceptable of why you can't do the most basic of tasks if you think you are worthy of my attention. Right now I have a bruise on my thigh. I am not even sure how it happened… I think I was in a rush doing something and walked into a low table or counter or something. I vaguely remember cussing in my head as I caught my leg on something one day, but I can’t for the life of me remember what or where. I was looking at the bruise last night amused. I don’t mark easily, and I don’t mark often. It actually takes a lot to leave a mark on me, which is part of what amused me about this bruise on my leg last night. How do I not remember how it happened? It also made me think back to when I did look at porn, and some of the pictures I have seen on this site on peoples profiles that are simply unavoidable… The horrendous marks on people… That will never be me. My mind left my bruise and headed more into this life, and my desperate desire for something I really don’t want at all… The absolute quandary of the actual ache in my back side for correction, and my complete and total hate for pain. Like, I don’t secretly like pain. I don’t like it a little. I don’t like it in a house, I don’t like It with a mouse. I, ladies and gentlemen, do not like pain. Yet I fantasize about it… So, I pondered this, trying to reconcile this stupidity in my brain… Why? Why do I want it so bad it feels like a need as real as air some days? I think the pain is simply a by-product of the rest of what I want(need). Without it, the rest of it doesn’t work. What do I mean by this? Well, as anyone who has chatted with me or anyone who knows me, knows, I have a rather strong and dominate personality by nature. My submission is totally a choice I make because it is relaxing to me. My submission is a gift to someone special, and only to that person. When I used to be active in public forums and known as a sub there many dominate men often believed that meant I should act submissive all the time to all dominate people there… bwahahaha! I had come with a date I was being submissive to, not the whole crowd! I annoyed a few people. That’s okay, they annoyed me too. When I give this gift of submission to someone, it is because they are giving me a gift too. They honor me by taking care of me, keeping me safe, looking out for my best interest. My submission to them tells them I trust them to keep this true. If they intend to bring me my much-hated pain, then I know their intention is to better me as a person, and for this I am grateful. So there it is, it is about the mind, not the pain. It goes beyond this simple statement though. The entire process, start to finish, is about what goes on in the mind. From the game of how far can I push things, to the change in tone, body language, and eye contact from my man as he goes from my man to my Dom when I am skating the edge with my behaviors. The unspoken communication that tells me we have that connection. That shoots thrill through me. Then, the mental push within me, to I stop, or push it further? If I push, the soft to stern spoken warnings, and finally, when the last straw is broken, the declaration of punishment to come… Then the absolute torture and agony of waiting for the punishment, preparing to be punished, all up in my head. The mental ects of it all. That is what I crave so badly… The moment any legit pain begins, it all ends for me. I swear, whatever I did, I am sorry, and it won’t happen again any time soon, because I seriously can’t handle the pain! This girl is not a pain slut by any stretch of the imagination! If you have legit fallen in love with me and you aren’t a deep sadist, my reaction to sever pain may hurt you more than it does me. But not likely. And even after deep contemplation of all of this… I sit here aching for it all… still. smh I didn't know there was such a thing as a praise kink until maybe a year ago. I just knew that there are certain words and phrases that I want to hear more than just about anything. I wasn't hearing about it or seeing it anywhere. I felt it. What I see all the time are words like slut, whore, and bitch. Very much a your kink is not my kink and that's okay situation. If I'm honest, it repulses me to be called a whore in any capacity. A good little whore? No, thank you. But that's all I would see, besides the occasional good girl. Granted, I'm no Magellan, but I read. That simple good girl has been the carrot dangling for so damn long.
There's a very specific empty spot in my brain reserved for something wonderful that opens with good girl. I didn't even know there was more. I'd walk through fire for that. The Dancing Warrior:
In the temple's silent embrace he stands, A martial artist, guided by ancient strands. His spirit whispers in the fragrant breeze, A tale of dedication, shaped by kung-fu keys.
In dawn's quiet dance, his journey begins, Mind, body, and soul, entwined, he spins. Through the flowing forms, a symphony unfolds, A canvas of discipline, as history beholds.
With each stance, a story etched in the air, The echoes of wisdom, the stillness will share. His mind, a tranquil lake reflecting the moon, Absorbs the teachings, a harmonious tune.
Body sculpted by the dance of swift kicks, Precision and power, a blend that clicks. Muscles, like poetry, weave tales of might, A warrior's silhouette, embracing the night.
Soul, the furnace where courage is refined, Embracing shadows, where fears are confined. In the stillness, he finds his inner voice, A choice made daily, to rejoice.
Through trials and triumphs, his spirit ascends, A journey of mastery that never bends. Kung-fu, the language his essence speaks, A tapestry of strength, resilience, and peaks.
In the dojo's sanctuary, he bows with grace, A warrior-poet in this sacred space. For in the art of kung-fu, he finds his rhyme, A lifelong dedication, transcending space and time. Being fifty and trying to date is tough, especcially when you find it so tieing to be out and around a lot of people.
I do have my outings meeting some friends about once a week to play games and enjoy some company, but big crowds for too long drain me.
Also the fact that I am a male set in his ways and with standards can be an issue with some people.
I do not like hanginf around with smokers, I may like you, but I do not like the smoke. Cigars are a different matter, I do not smoke
but being around a good cigar or pipe tobacco I can tollerate.
I used to be a constant pessimist, but as I said before I am working on myself trying to improve my outlook on life and the world around me.
Echo Rose, my dog, helps a lot with that and my new resurgance in religion does as well.
If either of those causes a problem with you that is okay. Keep it to yourself and we can still be friends. Thought for the day
"Everything will be alright in the end and if it's not alright, then it's not the end."
The best exotic marigold hotel. almost 10 years since my last post here. geeze! i am happy, not wealthy but well. saw someone neat viewed my profile and was sending them a nice to see you message.... they had already blocked me... hmmm... i don't remember things as well as others so i don't know if i offended anyone since i have been on here all these years. i just hope everyone is alright and have their own little slice of humility. lost a lot of people i love in these past 10 years and just... hoping that i don't have to feel that much more lose. thank you. Just a little update. I'm 73 now, single again. My girl passed on a little over a year ago. I figure to get back on the horse.
So looking again. I'm not to encouraged by what I see. I'm looking for someone fairly age approaite. Not really looking for a huge age gap.
But if something comes along that works I'm good with it. The Power of Tarot
I always consult the Tarot before getting serious. TWO of my decks refused to read a sub. Read two other subs and the Hang Man reversed showed up. Waste of time. So yeah
.
I've been lurking on this site, wondering whether to contact anyone and realising that I'm not sure what I'm looking for in many ways. I'm torn between wanting a committed 24/7 D/s relationship with a wonderful Domme, or osmething more casual because I'm conscious that I'm looking at transitioning, that I want to do a PhD, and that I have a load of books I want to write. I don't want to present myself as something I'm not, and I don't want to be with someone who seems intent on denigrating me from the off (and so a lot of Dommes' profiles have me backing away because of their tone).
I must admit too, that even though I think of myself as a decent writer, I'm coming up short with what to actually say to people. A simple introductory message feels like it could be fraught with danger, and yes that does seem incredibly stupid to say.
Anyway, I thought I would put something here just because "I ain't dead" as Granny Weatherwax from the Discworld books would put it. It is nice to finally have this back, I'm in the UK for now and back studying, to save you asking I'm working on my Full UK Amateur Radio licence and back at University part-time doing Planetary Science from the Autumn. Yes i can hear the question would you have time for me as your sub? well yes as i plan to be doing a fair bit of my studies at work, Yes you would get plenty of attention! I do find that as i grow older my tastes change except that i am still very much Sapiosexual and very much still growing as a person. I am building a House, an organization for many slaves, many. I offer a concept that is foreign to most, because most seek that one-on-one dynamic. As a result, not all but many flounder for years looking for the 'one'.What is offered is a home to those that cannot find the 'one' or no longer feel life must only be about the the 'one'. With this opportunity comes the offer of being able to call one 'Master', to fill that need, as they enjoy the larger chance to be part of something more than being alone within itself.Can I be a great Master to one? Definitely. It is very pleasing.But, I wish to be more, and more than just to one.I am trying to offer more to more, a home to many.Some would rather remain alone. I respect that.This is not for them. I offer something in lieu of nothing.More than that. I offer something for their 'one' and themselves, if they are so inclined.More than that, I offer community to the M/s community.A chance to be more, much more than just being alone or a couple.A opportunity to grow more than just themselves, to grow their world around them as they grow.To do that one must consider broadening, not limiting ones' possibilities.Master would love to see all grow with Master and the others in the House, as all enjoy the process of growth, of being more of what one seeks. To self-actualize both the light and darkness within. For whatever reason, some people separate sex and BDSM. If they are operating professionally, I can understand they wouldn't want to be considered prostitutes. I for one am not interested in meeting them. Amateurs, don't have that problem. In fact, for many of us, the two are intimately intertwined. BDSM without the reward at some point can be pointless. Some aspect of BDSM IS our sex life or a big part of it.If you disagree - and some will and will try to put me down for it - you just be you and let me, be me.
Thank you. Also note that a lot has changed since this profile was created 7 years ago but I know there is no admin for the site so I cant change it without losing the ability to message forever.
I was not able to keep business going through COVID and I am in the process of getting SSDI and then I will be starting another business.
I am naturally dominant but not in a cruel way. Its not a role or fetish. Men defer to me even dominant men seem to follow my lead and seek my approval. I have high standards, few meet them and are treated accordingly. Service / labor slaves to the front of the line.
I really dislike trying people on. The awkward small talk and insincere laughing, picking through the rolodex to create temporary common ground. Sorting feelings. I don't like dating, don't like more people touching me. I am a one person person. The right person. Maybe a number of people fit that, I'm not of the soulmate mindset. Rather, a click. A feeling. A knowing. Instinct? I tried waiting. Waiting brought sadness and pizza. A lot of time in neutral. Or maybe sleeper mode, good ol' ursa time. I'm ready to wake up. Still don't want to sift through the racks for the right fit, keep your hands to yourself. Maybe just window shop for a while. Or better yet, put myself in the window and see who wants to shop. The flower and the bee, friends. Know your role.
I was in such a serious mode right there, and as I reread for autocorrect typos my dog started snoring. Sweet girl, she brings lightness to my heart. He may come, he may not, but she is mine, and sometimes that's enough. I am looking for a FemDom that would like to live in a poly home. FemDom would be in charge of slaves and Sir would be in charge of the home and have final say.
Two fairly like minded Dom's with intent of a nice home with several quality slaves is a heady dynamic. If interested just let Me know.
Nice home with a dungeon. First Impressions
After I posted about being stood up for my first meet-and-greet / coffee date in years, a few folks seemed to question my lack of anger, or at least my sort of perky take on it.
Let me explain. There’s a saying, “No answer is still an answer.”
A first meeting, like a coffee date, is a first impression. Being a no-show without announcing one is bailing before the scheduled time is … significant. It can indicate a lot of things:
a tendency to make bad choices
poor time management skills
bad luck streak
passive-aggressive tendencies
tolerance testing
This last one is particularly significant. Last week was not the first time someone ghosted me and then promptly started asking for a 2ⁿᵈ chance. Complying would have set a precedent: how many times can someone test my patience, fail to keep up their end of a deal before I walk?
The guy could’ve written me earlier, he could’ve taken a ride share. He did neither.
He told me that he was currently experiencing a bad turn in his life. Okay, but why decide to drag a new person into that? Misery loves company?
I showed up, and as a quirk of timing gave him slightly longer than the 15 minutes I’d originally allotted for him to show or at least communicate. I did my part, and thus I have nothing to prove.
If this was a test of his, I’m fine with failing. I racked up some serious points that day.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,some momentary awareness comesas an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,who violently sweep your houseempty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably.He may be clearing you outfor some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,meet them at the door laughing,and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,because each has been sent by a guide above. Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, men and women, trans, genderfluid, non-binary:
Pro tip: if everything you crave in your form letter is on my list of what I am NOT looking for, don't send me the form letter. Just don't. Save us both the time and frustration.
Really and truly, I am not looking for a slave. I don't enjoy receiving oral sex. I don't do pegging or humiliation and I am not moving you into my home.
If you're only looking for one of those and we're otherwise compatible, sure, write to me. But if you need to live in my home as a slave and be humiliated to be happy I. Am. Not. Compatible. With. You. I'm not. Promise. Humiliation at the ding sound from the bathroom.
it might come to love the sound of a bell ringing, slave. I have a desk bell located by each toilet in my domicile. (it may have seen such bells on registration desks of motels) I tap the top of the bell plunger to call the current serving urinal slave from wherever it my be.
Ding. And it comes running to serve as urinal. This ‘ding’ sound may come to live as an ear worm in its head.
Master James I genuinely love my boyfriend. I have loved a good number of people but this is the first time I've dated anyone for longer than two weeks who has not been argumentative, selfish, mean, and committed to never understanding me. And more often than not we communicate very well. We have argued twice in almost a year. He is kind and gentle with me. He is thoughtful and generous. He makes me feel calm and at peace. He doesn't behave as if he is irritated with me when I am anxious, depressed, or having panic attacks. He grounds me. He is all of the things I've wanted from all the serious partners I've had in the past.
He has never ever hurt me (except once when he asked me to go home and I took it personally lol).
Absolutely zero of my relationships have ever been this good, the worst being my marriage. I can say I am absolutely happy when I am with him which is what pushed me to want to be happy when I am without him. I had never thought it possible for me to be happy, alone or with another person since I had never been happy in a relationship before. I felt good and would call it happiness but I wasn't happy. Now that happiness is possible I must learn to find it inside of myself which is difficult when you've been miserable for 31 years
So this is what it means to find your person.
He is like starlight, like the laughter of babies, like the colors of the sunrise and the sunset, like the buds in spring, like a glass of refreshing cool water, like a warm hug. He is love. He is safety. Something I never thought I'd ever have. Something I've never seen anyone have in person. Something I didn't expect from what was supposed to be a tinder one night stand.
A one night stand that ended up with us being intertwined so intimately that we are now inseparable. open for live in slave
I'm currently looking for a live in submissive service slave to my house. I have many years of experience of "owning", 24/7, TPE but not for longer periods , just play over weekends and for sessions. The thought has grown upon me to actually own a submissive and train her for domestic and sexual services. I have initial ideas of low/medium and high protocol etc.
If you you are curious, let me know and we will take it from there.
/H 14 Oct 2025 WOW! I can hardly believe it's been eleven (11) years since I've made a journal entry. A lot has happened since then. A lot has transpired in that, and as I'm writing this, something else is developing. Maybe more on that if it ends up where I'd really like it to be.I'm 63 now. We all know how much of a PITA making any updates here is. I'll send you recent pictures if either of us writes to each other.I am looking for a long-term relationship that has a heavy dose of kink in it behind closed doors. But I will be proud to show you off in public. I have four (4) favorite "B's". They are boots, bondage, beauty, & ballgags. I'll tell you upfront that I am incorrigible for the first two (2), and the last two (2) complement the first!Keep it kinky CS world! I read another dominant women has been having similar experiences to me.
As a dominant women I am being approached by men ALREADY in a relationship with another women, and the women is submissive.
Simply because the man wants to encourage a FFM situation.
Completely ignoring the fact I am after MMF.
What is scary is the investment these men will make to talk, to get to know me and ask me about my ambitions and ideas and intrigued I have a brain and what they are after is the same FFM.
I spend my day dedicated to my work so I am not bitter about minimal time wasting and have not invested much time other than the odd evening having the page open in the background while watching the BBC but it worries me that some NOT ALL men are just carbon copies of the same idiot 5 minutes before.
I have a new respect for trans women, they were once men with an original unique thought and evolved into a women, there is something ironic about the whole butterfly transformation.
Also while I am ranting, can dominant men stop asking if I wear a certin type of shoe. I own 30 pairs shoes including trainers, I have a lot of lingerie but if you want a women to wear a particular brand or type, I suggest you just make yourself available on a weekend and I will happily spend your money buying the shoes and lingerie you want me to wear and watch your satisfaction that you spent your money on La Perla and Jimmy choos. FYI if your obsessed about shoes you have a foot fetish!
Before you can be taught, you have to know what classes interest you to attend.
But that's not submission, I hear you ignorantly complain. No, but most of you don't understand the difference between being submissive and being A submissive. Most of you try and convince the world you are the latter whereas you are barely the former.
Nosce te ipsum, is the first order of any day. Youre not qualified to know anyone else before you get to know yourself. Life becomes a series of dead-ends and u-turns unless you know where youre heading.
Understand this - there is nothing wrong with not knowing, there is nothing wrong with asking and there is glory and purpose is learning.
Act accordingly, before that laundry list of expectations and demands that you carry becomes nothing more than a shield against actually experiencing anything.
And to those desparing of finding their place and purpose, remember that when you're falling out of the tree, any branch you can grab before hitting the ground is a blessing and should be appreciated. Even if it's not where you want to be, its better than the thud at the end of a drop. There is precious little enough joy in this world these days that any of us should spurn the chance to feel some when the possibility presents itself.
Here endeth the lesson. Looks like I’ll be in Tennessee on 9/9-9/17 for work.Interested check out my BIO all welcome. (There is apparently a way to actually change the entire background color of a post: I have seen other users do it. All I can figure out to do is to use a different color "highlighter" to contrast against the font color. I guess it is essentally the same thing, but dang.)
I got contacted by a man on FetLife who fits so many of my criteria that I'm actually tempted:
lives one city over
within 7 years of my age
in an open relationship (he's separated ad casually dating)
has a car
He already has some chastity devices, and we have overlapping interests. We're sizing each other up, but he sounds eager to meet. eeeee!My only concern is his interest in "intox play," which Urban Dictionary defines as:
short for intoxication play, It is a type of BDSM scene where one or both partners get intoxicated and have consensual sex.
I put that one down as a hard limit: it's too easy to forget important things like negotiating safe-signals before someone is tied up and gagged. Not *cough* that I'd have any direct experience with that. *ahem*
However, we have plans for a coffee date this week, so here's hoping. However, since the pandemic it's not like I've been a social butterfly, so if nothing else I'll get points for making the effort. Every time i try to update my profile it either gets discarded or just never seems to update, so i am going to try a journal entry.
It's hard to believe i could be much more prepared to meet someone for a serious relationship/position, but i continue to work toward it, hoping someone might one day be there for me.
In a perfect world, i would find someone that wanted both a genuine relationship and a very regimented M/s life. It would be wonderful to travel and share a life with a Master, living life as His girlfriend, with hormones and 24/7 femme existence. But to also have the M/s dynamic as a backbone of our relationship. Cuddling on the couch, binging a series but all the while wearing a metal collar, chained wrists, chastity, ass plugged. All of the wonderful things of being a spouse but never once having a moment to think that it is "free" of will or choice.
Soaking up whatever attention it's owner is willing to give, working every minute for it's opportunity to get a little positive feedback.
1 Samuel 21:12-15
David had to act crazy to escape the hands of A'chish. He was afraid when they mentioned that he was the one they said of that Saul killed his thousands but David his tens of thousands. David felt the energy in the room and knew he would not be safe in this man's home. Remember Jesus said in Matthew 10:14 if there is no peace or they reject your words leave that place. David did not feel safe and hence pretended to be insane to get himself out of a situation. There are times when the Spirit will encourage us to act in certain ways to keep us safe. After all we should worship in spirit and in truth. The one in us (including in Jesus) is greater than the one in the world. We are covered under the wings of the spirit. Make sure however you have the right spirit in you for there are 2 spirits in this world. The one of God and the one of the Antichrist. Listen to the one of God, be molded and shaped by the one of God. Grow in His spirit. For those who ask me this is the sort of Domination I enjoy and practice. from www.cyberbazzar.com waay back in the day!
The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and seeks.
The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation. They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her.
Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating;
and be able to translate that into the right thing to do. The “doing or saying without having to be told” type. The submissive begs easily and surrenders sweetly. They understand the concept of respect and surrender and can make it happen after initial learning with little or no additional instructions. They embrace the surrender gratefully and lovingly.
These individuals usually form very intimate relationships. There is not much downside to these relationships, because they not only gr the concepts, but can make it happen as well, and their attraction is based on a strong mutual respect. Their strong relationship is not readily apparent to the unobservant, but they are always subtly in the 24/7 mode. The fact that these things come forth naturally and without the need for orders is a great source of pride, satisfaction, and loving. They are the opposite side of the coin from the Authoritarian. Whose pride, satisfaction, and love come from strictness and forbearance. I've recently had the chance to think about TPE more, and I decided that there are ultimately four types, three of which I consider acceptable.
In order of intensity, there is first the type, which is simply pushing past where a sub/slave would normall safeword, but not pushing so far that the subconcious is actually forced to acknowledge that they are not in control. This is a stage where a slave is usually begging or angry.
The second is the type that I practice currently. Pushing past where people think their limit is, past the second limit where their subconscious gives and realizes that it can only endure, but not going past the last one. The one that makes the mind retreat and can cause trauma. I just brush up against it.
The third is when someone deliberately breaks through that last barrier, repeatedly doing so in order to shape the slave into what they desire, using that shaping to subsume other desires and wants, to change who they are at the core level. This is acceptable when a Master has the time, will, and facilities to manage fully breaking a slave, and a slave has agreed beforehand.
The last is just the territory of psychopaths, just breaking for the sake of breaking, to do as much damage as possible, and only for their own amusement. Must be International Idiot Weekend in North America this weekend ?
I've had 2 morons ask me dumbass questions already
The first was so Geographically Challenged, from Pennsylvannia, wanting to collar me all the way here in the UK, like I can just jump on the number 5 bus round to his house. He didn't actually know what it was meant by, being Geographically Challenged.
The other was from Canada and so stupid he was making Interests on my profile up out of nowhere asking me about this, that and these interests MY PROFILE says I don't have any form of interest in.
Who's next...... who knows
(By the way, those reading this and thinking, its Monday... here in the UK its a Bank Holiday, so its part of the weekend here) I am in fact an actual real female human being!!! But why would anyone believe that on here???!!! Lol
I enjoy on line conversations that are thought provoking.
I do not desire an on line relationship other then for friendship or for discussions that are meaningful.
If you are rude, disrespectful or boring you will be blocked.
I am not looking to move at this time. I may move one day.
Cheaters, drug users, smokers, liars, and those that send messages with "Hi. When were you last spanked," don't waste my time or yours.
str8 males
I find str8 males alluring and a challenge worth pursuing. Once a str8 agrees to become intimate with you as a Bull you are in command from then on. They are threading in unknown territory and you are the guide. Get rid of labels because no labels means no limits. You must teach how to respond to a male touch and a male anatomy. Most likely they never had paid attention to another man at least not in a sexual manner. The Dom in this case must establish a real line of authority assuring total obedience and ultimate submission. Been a Top requires attitude and self assurance, something your pupil is loosing and you want to keep that uncertainty high. Depending on your style show them how to handle your Rod and make clear how lucky they are to be guided by you to their curious journey to M2M intimacy. Be patient, there are going to be moments of hesitation but must of the time if you assume the paternal role they will become submissive enough for you to give them the first taste of a male's Rod, that will mark him forever. Teach him how to do it because he will try to do what women did to him but this is a new arena. Let him taste and taste deep to your testicles and from there the sky is the limit. At this stage there is no reciprocity, it's all about you and your pleasure. Most males will take hold of their dick as if to make sure they are males still; do not allow it, his genitals are but a maker of gender when you are present. He is now a kid to be shown what he will want from now on. Let him know how good he is progressing and how well he learns, take advantage of the natural competitivness. At this stage phallic worship rites and rituals are very effective. If all is done right he will be the one asking to mount him and that is another story Tonight
Getting ready to go out for an event.
I hope you all have an amazing night! "I like to compliment those who ask for humiliation." - ForcefulDutch
I agree with this so much. I don't want to insult people. I want to coo over them like I would puppies.
"HOOZA CUTIE? YOUDA CUTIE! AREN'T YOU A CUTIE? YES YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE!"
Yes, I will do that shit in the middle of a play party, because I have no pity.
Speaking of which, I'm attending the Yes M'Lady munch on Tuesday. squee! I'm surprised to see this site still exists. I've enjoyed BDSM lifestyle for numerous years. I'm not some mindless or spinelss door mate. I'm educated, a career professional and will always tempt you to be the best and most erotic Domiant possible. That my submissive purpose and desire. I had a play partner for nearly a years but went to work on a project in Europe for a while and lost a lot of US connections and friends. Earlier this year I crossed path with a Dominant female and it was intoxicating. She used and enjoyed me as her boy slut. All those submissive cravings and desires flooded my mind and body as she had unrestricted and unlimited use of me in very demanding and erotic ways. It made me realize how much I want and have missed this lifestyle. I've been used, shared and enjoyed as an obedient, submissive fuck toy. I love having my limits pushed and being used long and hard. This lifestle is best when the chemistry is free and mentally unrestricted. Trust that the Domme individual has the maturity level to forster an energetic and positive experience. I think a Domimant individual is at their best when not limited and mentally unrestricted to explore freely with a submissive. Trust is paramount. The best thing about being a sadomasochist is playing with my group of fellow sadomasochistic friends. We've had many adventures with canes and needles and scalpels and fire in so many forms and hanging by hooks and lots and lots more over the years. It's been such a delight. Sadly, it's not all fun and games. Online, too often, too many guys approach me to announce themselves as a sadist who is looking forward to causing me great pain. Is that so? GTFOH.
Who are you, random person? I didn't express interest in you. You don't get to decide what you're going to do to me before I even find you interesting, in any way, at all.
I have an extensive group of fucked up friends with whom I've already fostered deep trust. I know that the things I enjoy most require a level of trust.
I'm a sadomasochist. I am not a masochist. I am not only interested in experiencing pain. I am also interested in causing pain. I enjoy both. But I would enjoy a great deal of your pain before I'd ever remotely allow you to cause me pain. I'm a sadomasochist who plays with other sadomasochists.
It's not a great look for someone to tell complete strangers what they plan to do to them before said stranger reciprocates interest. It's an even worse look to me when a sadist ignores my own sadistic side, as though I'm strictly a masochist and that I’m just dying to suffer for someone else who isn't invested in suffering for me, too. Women don't just proclaim their intentions to be my sadist the way men do, however, even though women are often the most titillating and fascinating sadists and sadomasochists. The majority of the most exciting and intense pain-based scenes I've ever enjoyed have almost all been with other women and NB creatives. Do I think there could be men who are creative sadomasochists, too? Certainly. I have male sadomasochistic friends as play partners. But those are obviously not the so-called sadistic guys contacting me online. Agoraphobia, fibromyalgia, anxiety, depression...and to add to it Hashimoto's disease, severely high blood pressure, a concerning breast lump and ADHD of all things.....it was better before i went to the docot and didn't have to know all this....
my Doctor is amazing, and she told me we have a long road ahead of us, but she will help as much as she can....thankfully she's not the type to push medications. i really don't want to take a million pills every morning.
the next few months will be brutal. Femdom should be about finding joy and pleasure in a dynamic that suits you and your partner(s). Not about fixing a sub's sexism- not that it would work anyways.
Most people I've talked to say that their desire for femdom predates knowledge of femdom, or of sexual arousal. While some people may have a more concrete "I'm into femdom because of a specific reason" most people I interact with like it because they like it. Vanilla people don't have to have reasons to like vanilla sex. Just a quick update for those that have been talking with me.. I'm leaving for my new home tomorrow and I'm not sure when I'lll get a chance to check in here with updates or to chat. I might update my profile to reflect my new ownership status in a few weeks but I know that might make it disappear for an unknown time.. I haven't decided yet.. Anyway, I just didn't want you to think I disappeared if we've been chatting. Have a great Xmas, I intend to.. lol Seven years since my last post on Collar. Still
here and always stimulating my thoughts on
submission and being sexy for my friends.
i am on short vaca from the day to day norms,
so would like to chat some with my people.
So Cali is my HQ for most logistical meet ups.
Peace.
So tell me, are you happy,
Do you have the things you need?
The house, the car, the children,
Are all your dreams complete?
Is the life you have enough for you,
Are you wishing there was more?
Or is the home you have a prison?
Even though it has a door.
Tell me who you dream of,
Whose words still move your soul?
Are you going through the motions.
Where nothing makes you whole?
Do you want to be alive again
And feel a lovers touch.
Are those days now just a memory?
Where nothing matters very much.
You did everything he asked of you,
You know you've played your part
So maybe, then just maybe..
It's time to live your heart. The Throne Room
Our friends were meeting us at the dungeon. We tried this scene at home and we ended up pulling out the ceiling chains from the rafters. The set up was for suspension not stretching. So we planned on doing this stretching scene in the throne room at the dungeon.
That was the plan.
The set up was simple. I was going to be in the middle and our friends were going to be on each side of me. My wrists were attached to chains that went to the ceiling and the excess chain hanged down on each side of me so that our friends could pull them.
The dominant watched from the throne placed in n front of me. She would give the order and the chains would be pulled and I would be lifted onto the air with my arms pulled wide.
That was the plan.
For this scene I didn't have much to do. All I had to do was strip down to my string bikini bottoms and attach chains to my suspension cuffs. My arms were spread wide as I waited for the order.
"Stretch her!"
The husband and wife on either side of me started pulling the chains. But they struggled. By flexing my biceps I was able to fight the chains. Two more friends who were watching joined in. Now there were two people on each side of me pulling the chains. By flexing my biceps I was still able to fight the chains.
Two more people joined in. I now had six people trying to pull me apart. I was now on my tiptoes as my arms were being pulled wide and I was being stretched. Two more people joined in. I now had eight people, four on each side, pulling the chains that were now stretching me.
I was now lifted off the floor with my arms tightly stretched by the chains. I let out a long moan of pain as I was being pulled apart. My torturers looked up at my torture stretched body and waited for the order
"Enough!"
They let go of the chains and I dropped to the floor. Spent.
boy oh boy could i use a spanking and scolding in a bra, slip and panties,,,, its been sooo long since my last one....sigh
Some of my messages are getting redundant - so I'll post answers to my commonly asked questions here -
My bra size is 38G or 38DDDD - a 38G and 38DDDD are the same size - depends on manufacturer which way they choose to list it.
Yes. I like pain. It's one of the many aspects of BDSM that I enjoy. Despite the photos, and despite the fact that I have had a fair amount of experience with impact play and corporal punishment, I do not have a lot of experience with extreme pain.
I'm located in metro-Atlanta, specifically Marietta. No - I am not willing or able to relocate. No I am not interested in long-distance / virtual to start with Dom re-locating if we are good match. I am not equipped for virtual submission.
I don't have any children and do not want to have any children at this stage of my life.
I am willing to be friends with couples but I do not want to serve a couple or become a subsister to your wife or existing submissive or slave.
Hope this helps. I spend a lot of time at the park lately, when I can. Grab a leash secured to another, longer leash, clip one end onto the marshmallow, the other knotted around my ankle. Plop down on a blanket. It's peaceful. The grass smells sweet. On a good day there's a breeze. Ants track up my arms sometimes and I almost don't mind. The marshmallow sniffs as far as the leash allows. She eats grass and rolls in cooler spots. I read. Or pretend to read and take pictures of her. And I think about my life. Yesterday a friend told me that Mercury is in retrograde. I don't know what to do with that. It is so sad that an honest to God true Dom/Master with over 50 years in the lifestyle would be on most every sub/slave's wish list. I can be gentle for those just learning, medium for the ones with some experience and Sadistic to those in need of a very hard and prisoner experience. I am a bit of everything to whom it is need for.
Yes as all Dom/Masters my word is my bond to me if I can not be honest or truthful then I should not be here. For those who are Dom/Master in name only before you engage with a sub/slave. You should take every advantage of all those of us who have experience so you can learn. You never talk to a potential sub/slave as you own them as until they willingly give you the honored gift of their submission, you will never own them. This is fact and writen in Iron. That gift is their's to give to whom ever they choose and it is not done lightly. There has to be total trust that you as their Dom/Master will never abuse that gift. Those of you after only sex that is not what this site is about. It is a serious lifestyle steeped jn traditions and rules of conduct. The fact that some of you think it is a game are deceiving yourself and others see it. This lifestyle should never be taken lightly nor used to play games with. The sub/slave is not a toy it is a concept made true by a human being that lives breathes and thinks as well as has feelings that we as Don/Master need to see and think how to co epically add this life to our needs and desires. That comes from trust and a love to make the Dom/Master whole. I'm not going away, but I don't check in as often as I once did. If you feel a connection, by all means say hello. I'll get back to you. I'm looking for a Lady friend for casual friendship and play, even a LTR. I'm not looking to book sessions or for any professional arrangement. If you just feel like chatting with no future meeting, that's fine as well. To elaborate on my interest/search:
First, no headless profiles or photos of yourself heavily edited or otherwise masked by a photo app, otherwise my first and last impression of you will be that you are a fake or catfisher -- I won't respond. Bad English is also a tip off.
Sexual encounters are not a priority, in fact most of my fetish play encounters to present have been non-sexual; as anyone who has played before knows 99% of fetish is mental. A regular relationship with someone who has common interests, particularly with bondage, is ideal for developing intimacy but not essential. Just play is perfectly fine. I'm not here for a 'blow and go' so if you're just looking to get off I am not for you.
Finally, I've dated or otherwise met a number of different indviduals over the years; in my opinion life is too short to 'search for the perfect one'; I prefer those like myself who are open minded and grounded that I get along well with to see where it goes over time.
Before you write me:
1. I look ONLY for longterm (hopefully lifetime) !
2. I look for cis/tpe relationship. If you don´t know what it is check it or ask me !
3. I am only interested in somebody who is younger then me ! My main age range is from 20-45, but is not written in stone.
4. I will not answer anymore to people they have not a facepic in there profile or send with the first message.
I do best at being a Domme with minimal toys at hand.
I don’t need a fully stocked dungeon to have a great time with a sub. (not that there is anything wrong with a fully stocked dungeon) but to me it is more the mental control I exercise over you. The way I approach you, look at and maybe don’t let you have eye contact with me, and the way I touch or don’t touch you, you know just being in my presence brings out your need to submit.
For example, I will say, “Did I say you could look me in the eye bitch? Until I say you can look me in the eye, you will look at my feet. Look down now.”
This takes no toys and commands you. One thing about me... I will NOT chase you. I will not be reaching out to you first, especially if you viewed me initially and continue to do so. There's only room for one princesss here. And when you do reach out I expect a detailed message explaining your reasoning for reaching out and your intentions. Do not bore me with small talk or questions that lead to nothing. If you're bored there are profiles here that cater to that. If you're a Dom, find a sub. Most importantly, if you seek a kink dispenser then book a service with a sex worker.
Goddess Dani 6:00 me: Should I take a nap? It's kinda late. Maybe I should just power through...
...
6:03 me: Okay, a quick nap. The puppy will wake me up.
...
...
And she did. At 9:00. So that is why I baked a cake and cleaned the kitchen at midnight.
She woke me barking like mad at the noise outside. She is the nosiest of neighbors. I even bought her an ottoman and set it near the window, though in truth it's also for my benefit so she'll stop ruining the pillows on the chair she has claimed as her lookout spot. Does she use the ottoman? Of course not.
It's now after 1. I'm awake. I need to be up in five hours, bribe her to eat, pack, not forget the stuff in the fridge, and get on the road. Chances of me being on time? Place your bets. Thinking of putting a sign on my front storm door that reads, "No Soliciting (unless you hope to be tied, groped and molested!)". I do wish the sign had been up there before the last guy came knocking to upsell me replacement windows. If he had known what I was really thinking at the time, I'm sure he would have ran off quickly!!
The pool party was in Royal OUak, a very nice suburb of Houston. I was admiring all the large homes with long driveways and manicured lawns. When I arrived at the house, I pulled into the driveway and parked behind a Tesla. I checked my face in the mirror and got out of my car. I wore a black string bikini under a black cover up with a pair of wedges and some sunglasses.
I could hear voices, music and splashing on the other side of the privacy fence. I opened the door and I looked around. From my left was the back of the house that had a covered patio. The large yard surrounded a big pool with lounge chairs and tables with umbrellas. To the right was a tiki bar. I headed there.
Heather called out to me , "Hey! I'm glad you made it. Why don't you get a cocktail and chill? Bartender? Give her whatever she wants."
I smiled and asked for a hurricane. Coming right up, he said. I looked around and saw people enjoying the day. Most were in or near the pool. There was mostly a mixture of 20 and 30 somethings. A group of four were sitting at a table enjoying a blunt. I headed there.
Me, smiling: Can I try?
"Sure gorgeous" a handsome guy said and handed it to me. "Hey are you that new girl I heard about?"
Me, smiling: "Maybe!"
Heather, waving to get my attention: "Come here I want to introduce you to someone.". She led me towards the house as Jim and another man were emerging from the back.
Jim, looking at the other man: This is the one I told you about." This is Renee, he provides the financing for my movies. "
Renee, smiling at me: It's nice to meet you. I heard you have a nice set of abs. May I see them?
I opened my cover up and showed off my body. I flexed my abs and instinctively did a bicep pose.
Renee, still smiling: You have a very nice body. Any tattoos?"
Me: "No, I'm all natural.". I glanced at Heather, smiling.
Jim, to me: "Enjoy the party. We'll talk later." And the two men walk back inside the house.
Heather, to me: "Let's go swimming."
And we spent the rest of the afternoon just partying and enjoying the pool. Throughout the day I met other people in the movie business. There was a black female actress. A Latino male actor said hello. I met a lighting guy, a sound guy, some grips, gaffers, a set manager, a camera man and an editor. I had no idea what some of them did until they explained it to me. No wonder films are so expensive.
Next, The Pitch
It is only by enlarging the scope of one’s tastes and one’s fantasies, by sacrificing everything to pleasure, that the unfortunate individual called Man, thrown despite himself into this sad world, can succeed in gathering a few roses among life’s thorns” D.A.F. Marquis de Sade You come to my apartment with flowers, a bouquet of roses, baby's breath, snapdragons, alstroemeria. I invite you in, and make no apologies for what will happen to you. You are already trembling, skin warm but the sensation like a cool breeze as I circle you, eyeing you up and down.
I give you a glass of water, I ask, "Ready?"
And you answer, "Yes Goddess."
I nod.
I come home.
You are punished. Daily. Thoroughly. A lash for every sin against me or the others. I watch you bleed. I clean your back, smiling at every wince.
Your family doesn't understand, and I rub their noses in it. I punish them, too, for their part in your deceit. They made you monstrous and in need of training from a firm hand.
They will never again poison the well. No one will. You are MINE. My influence is the only thing of consequence.
I will lead my horse to drink, and you will swallow every bitter drop.
I want to come home, to let my sludge of a soul slide down your throat, to watch you choke, to watch you squirm.
I want my curse to leave my fingertips, and travel inches instead of miles.
You will suffer and I will seethe and it will be beautiful, because that's all the hope I have left.
You will crawl on your knees, and learn your place on collared lead, you will feel every second of the earth's contact on your broken vessel.
You dare to defy, and I dare to ask you back for recompense.
I spit in your eye, while you pray for more.
Have you forgotten that it was you who made my altar, and it is your blood that I crave - it is you who created this mess.
It was you, it is you, always you.
My throne awaits, and calls for me.
I'm done looking I think I may even close my account and walk away from the lifestyle. I'm tired of devoting everything and getting nothing. Over the past couple of months I had one that couldn't communicate worth shit and the other I really clicked with gave everything in the process of getting to know him he claims he goes after dinner and now the account is gone. We that are honestly putting ourselves out there don't deserve to be discarded like fuckin trash. So unfortunately I'm going to disrespect every fuckin dominate on this site go fuck yourselves and leave me the fuck alone I deserve better than this shit! So, many years ago I met someone on here, who absolutely blew my mind.
I'd never experienced control before and it was an amazing journey.
From the very beginning, the controlling of my time, as in what I did with my free time, updates of where I would be at certain times in the day so they always knew where I was.
Having to be available at specific times. Not a minute before or a minute after.
Controlling how and when I touched myself if I could have an orgasm.
Even my clothing having to replace my underwear with women's underwear. Sitting to go to the toilet. All these things which I was told was leading up to a very hard limit of feminizing.
Which was a total mind fuck. Because with each step that I was pushed and you eventually that that limit would be pushed as well and if both scared and excited me at the same time. Now I never knew as we never got to it if that would have happened, whether I would have been feminized or whether because it was a very hard limit of mine, it was simply used as a mind fuck.
Either way it's certainly did the trick.
The less freedom I had and the more control she took made me feel so submissive and so desperate to continue to please.
Her previous Dom turned up at our house late one night with two of his mates He was saying things like where is your slut wife? Ive brought a couple of cocks for herThey had all been drinking and came straight from the pubI tried to explain that it was late and she had gone to bedHe went straight upstairs saying he was going to wake herI found out the next day when she told me that she was awakened when he pulled the bed covers completely off the bed She sleeps nude He made her suck his cock before dragging her out of bed by her hair She tried to put her house coat on but he wouldnt let herHe dragged her downstairs and into the front room naked in front of his friends This is Teds slut wife Holding her in front of them he pulled on her hair until she said yes, She loves big cocks dont you? again he pulled on her hair until she said yesThis went on for some time making her crawl on the floor barking and panting like a dog He made her Grunt like a pig and all three were laughing and making jokes about her I was told to go and fetch her whip and cat of nine tails he knew we had because he had used them on her before All three took turns whipping her leaving marks all over her He held her arms behind her back while the other two took turns whipping her tits She was crying her eyes out at this point They used beer bottles to masturbate her and even had her licking their shoes.
They ended up fucking her in all holes They totally abused her as I could do nothing but watchAfter they left we went to bed and I gently made love to her She admitted to me that she loved every moment of her ordeal Her cunt was absolutely saturated so I knew she was telling the truthShe once said to me that it is not about the sex, she can walk into any bar and get a man for sex For her the sex is nice but it is all about the pain and humiliation She can get a man to tell her how beautiful she is but again that is not what she wants deep down
I'm an ebony goddess currently looking for a sub/cuck to train to serve and worship me. Communication , trust and eagerness to learn, obey and serve are a must! Catch my attention, keep my attention and crave my attention. I will love to make you my personal slave, be under my feet , worship me. Lot of fun and let's explore our kinks together.
I love to tease, to train, and to torture.
I want my subs undivided time, adoration, attention, energy, and lavish worship.
I have zero interest in fulfilling your fantasy.
I am a true dominant woman and this is all about me and my pleasure, happiness and gratification; should you manage to enjoy yourself while I am whipping you into shape, or using and abusing you, then that is okay...but never will be of concern to me.
I’m in search of a male submissive/cuck who is reliable, independent, sane, I’d prefer someone who is service oriented as well as having masochistic tendencies
I would prefer someone with some kind of experience Rarely do I post in journals, most of our entries being from the wife but sometimes I do encounter experiences here that I'll feel necessary to speak on, in this case the experience has been more than a few.
Im not, and my wife is certainly not sending anyone money, ever.
Its mind blowing in this day and age just how many women shamelessly beg from complete strangers like panhandlers. We take care of our subs and their needs as responsible dominants but thats for live in arrangements ONLY. Save your seductive photos attached to sob stories and either get this collar or get a job. Master's WritingsFoundations: Commanding vs LeadingI came across a Dominant who appeared to miss understand the difference between leading and commanding. A thing seen too often in the lifestyle, where these two terms become red into one, yet for Dominants they should be viewed as quite different.Command is a singular act at a specific moment in time. A direction given to another to do something and when that thing is done, the moment is over. There is no longevity, no lingering emotion or sense of something larger. Command exists to accomplish a specific thing at a specific moment - nothing more.Leading, on the other hand, is a process that cannot be accomplished in a single moment in time. It is more about a direction than a specific action and as such requires vision of the goal as well as awareness of the individual. It involves motivating, developing and inspiring people into action. Leading requires both the skill to communicate and the presence of a leader to identify the goal and describe the path how to get there.When command and leading become interchangeable, they typically devolve into commands strung together and submissives running to accomplish tasks, under the pretense of leading. Even though sometimes these tasks have legitimate value in the development of a submissive, in the larger scope, they miss the mark because what gets communicated to the submissive typically lacks the values, principles, and/or underlying lessons that connect the submissive to the dominant or to the lessons to be learned.So is one better than another? They are the equivalent of a scene compared to a dynamic. Commands are adequate for a single scene, yet commands will never provide the foundation for a power-imbalanced dynamic. For this, Dominants must lead and lead with vision of what they intend to create, clarity of roles, a sense of purpose about why even the little things matter and the commitment to live path they set forth, committing to the same level of quality they expect from others. I don't mention the men who say what they mean and mean what they say and follow through with meeting Me. I have absolutely no complaint with the real deals I have found here and there are enough of them to keep Me busy for a LIFETIME.
I'm simply a greedy wench.
So, i have been told that if i edit my profile it takes a while for it to come back up so i will add a few things here instead.
1. If you message me and ask for money, you will be blocked and reported.
2. If you message me with "hi" it will not get answered. You are supposed to be an adult, use your words.
3. If you are a married couple, poly or looking for a house maid or an animal...sorry, not interested, please move on.
4. If you do not live in the US, i am sorry, but i will not relocate to another country, i love the one i am in.
5. If you are a submissive and want anything other than friendship, i will not answer you. I am not bi and i am not looking to serve with a sister. I have 5 sisters, i dont want any more lol
6. I will not download multiple chat programs so if i dont have what you have i am sorry (I only have 2)
I know, i know, i sound demanding for a sub. ;) Just trying to weed out the fakes and wannabes and those who only want a maid and cook. I walked in, saw her, sat down and was pleased when she lowered her eyes from mine. The munch suddenly didn't smother like usual.
I took her home, got down to skivvies, but she wouldn't lower them for her spanking, which earned her an introduction to Earnie. Rhino Hide thudds so soundly. She kept begging for more.
After I came all over her back, I got her dressed and we sat down over coffee, and talked. She was slightly annoyed when the subject of her masculine gender taped up under those skivvies had not been her giveaway. I had spotted her as the CrossDresser she was, in the same breath that I spotted her deeply seated masochism. We spent the summer bruising her. I did insist on silk panties for the rest of our sessions. It does a wonderful job of administering a bruise from the cane or batt that cotton tiddy-whities cannot. I built stocks, hoisting timbers, made leather suspension cuffs that broke when we tried them. I was crushed, darn it. Stuck to shibari after that. tonight i miss you
19 years and counting. i still don't know your name. i still don't know your face. but you have to be out there.
i miss you every day. but nights like tonight are harder.
things are rough right now....big jess is worn and little jess is despondent.
just for tonight if only i could see you, if only i could hear you, smell you feel you.
maybe if you could hold me and tell me somehow this will all work out i could keep going better. but i can't.
tonight i hit another wall another moment where the adult me has to push and the little me hides more and more, it's not safe to be out.
daddy i don't know why you've been gone for so long but i really wish you could hold me right now and talk to me and just for one night we could go to sleep together.
even if it was just a moment and the stars and spirit took you away from me again...just one moment would fill my juice cup so big.
someone told me it sounds like a good country song, "19 years of looking and he's still not here".
every day i feel your absence. but tonight is one of those impossible nights.
tonight i miss you. I'm actually sad to be back here on this site, after so many years being happy with who I found and who was very loyal. Unfortunitly he is no more and here I am.
This is time consumming as it is for you as well. So if I don't respond after I read your message it's because this search sometimes gets over whelming trying to figure out who is who and what someone is looking for exactly EXACTLY. For instance, if someone is just looking for weekend play, or something along that line. Please do me a favor and don't even write. I'm sure there is probably someone else out there that wants that.
I have to say I do get a rise when I find someone I can connect to on a higher plane. I like intelligent converstation but it is also time consumming and easier to move to phone eventually.
I'm not talking about someone with a high IQ and can memorize the encyclopedia . I'm talking about someone that is beyond that and I can talk to about the meaning of life , so to speak.
Does my sub/slave need to be smart and have a college education ? No , some of the best people I know even dropped out of school and never finished.
With today's AI we can all be artist, writers, and seemingly a genious. But with all that , there is something deeper. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you don't know. If you do understand then you do know.
If who comes to live here can't even read but knows how to have a great garden, knows how to use his hands.( even if he doesnt but is more than willing to learn) That is way more important to me than anything.
However is someone works online and doesn't know how to work with his hands. Then he could be useful as well and I don't rule that out.
I said all that to help you to have a better understanding what I'm looking for . I hope not to be on here for several months but who knows.
The last person I found on here was about 8 years ago. We met on here talked for a couple weeks. He moved here and has been here ever since.
That's what happens when people are open and honest and do what they say they are going to do . Sorry to say but no I do not have things like kik, Skype, hangouts or anything similar and no I am not giving out my email address. Messages asking for these or giving me your info will just be ignored.
I also do not consent to being sent phone numbers, I'm not stupid enough to call random strangers
If you are NO WHERE near or in North Carolina then don't bother messaging me, I'm not interested and it clearly says so in my profile but I know so many can't read. Maybe God puts someone in your life to figure yourself out, Having a slave for the household would be a dream, but it takes weeks for even each other to see each other. unless their pussies and play the get some mmm and get out game? but let me tell you. I am 36 years old and i was on here on Collarme, I remember the hours at nights where I chat with Doms, Sirs, subs, females males, and just fascinated. Yes my husband and i have hit a really hard time but maybe me taking the time to find a slave would be ideal and let him do his shit while we try to work on marraige, now a lot of you would say NO Go work on that, but see that was the trouble, I tried to do everything I can not anymore. I dont have time to take years to get to know somoeone who wants a Domme, who is kind loving and pushing toward wanting someone who is along those lines but also wants some humilation and and punishment when needed. Dream to live in the country with my household and look onto the mountains and grow old and have my slave or slaves male or female service my household. I can not tell the future, but someone will grow to love this chit Chatty Domme who Loves to be called Misses and Mistress when it suits her, the driffrence is in the words slaves. Also TPE is a must and be prepared to use your mouth. and your hands.
Mistress Nat From my group -re-sharing here - Why language matters. Or, Darmok and Jalad.
Jan 30, 2019
I had a reminder this week, (not that this week is that unusual, but some cases are more extreme than others) at how important it is to have a common language in any interaction we have with others. Most of our lives, the average American at least walks around hearing English, speaking English, reading English, and assuming they understand what other people are saying. And vice versa - they assume they are understood. And yet, so much of our attempts to communicate end in misfires.
Often, it's because we don't really care enough about the interaction, and we glide along on autopilot, comfortable in the status quo quality of our interactions. We are usually getting enough of what we need out of it that we often don't even question it.
Often, if there's a problem, we make a scene to make it clear that no, that's NOT what we meant, or that isn't what was said to us, etc but unless we feel slighted, or it leads to the loss of something we DO value - a comment made here that loses us a promotion, or a question not answered loses someone's interest, or a tone of voice makes us concerned for a possible loss of status- unless it's serious, it's just anger and fuss and it's over. THEN, it may become a real issue, worth some thought, but by then, it's really too late. The miscommunication has happened, the thought process it started it under way, and a feeling has been had, etc.
Stick with me here.
At it's most basic level, language is how we express a thought.
It's pretty common to believe that most of the time, other people from a similar area have similar thoughts to our own about a general variety of things. We expect that they want the same basic things, because we are all human, and most of the people we deal with were raised similarly, and had similar experiences.
And that they will use the same words as we do to describe them.
That's where the screeching halt comes in.
"Most adult native test-takers range from 20,000–35,000 words."
That's a decent vocabulary.
It should mean that most of us that speak English will have plenty of words in common to have a discussion and be understood with enough clarity to make it through most common joint activities.
That said, most people don't tend to think too deeply about words themselves. Which means when you start to want more than just "enough to get by" conversation, things can get a bit complicated. And in cases where you need to negotiate something VERY specific, in depth, such as the fine details of kink or what our limits are... suddenly, your vocabulary will not only need to grow, but become very precise.
I'm not seeing that as often as I would expect from the letters I receive. In fact, the majority of people that write me seem frustrated by the need for words at all, and irritated by the requirement that we spend some time talking about anything that isn't a deion of a sex act. Which baffles me... if you are wanting someone to tie you up, do ... THINGS ... to you, while you are helpless, etc, wouldn't you REALLY REALLY want to make sure that the things they want to DO are the same things you want DONE? Wouldn't you be DEEPLY interested in making sure they are the kind of person that honors your Safe Word, or who shares your definition of "honest," or who won't just walk off with your wallet and DVD player while you are tied down, or who won't turn out to be straight up batshit nuts?
I've had another rash of "own me" messages. Interspersed of course with the regular "total sub" offers.
The topic at hand isn't the "I'm a TOTAL sub!" who responds to "ok, go read this for me and tell me what you think" with "What? That's not what I want! I'm a SEXUAL submissive!"
Or even the "i want to be ur slave" that can't obey enough to respond to an email on time.
This topic is about the problem that causes that problem in the first place.
I received one this week from a very pretty dick pic with an empty profile that did read enough to call me Domina, but obviously nothing else, so I sent a link to the "First Impressions" thread, and followed with "Consider Your Target Audience." You can guess how it went. Before he got to "Bye, Bitchhhhhh!" he told me he wanted me to "own" him. And he referred to himself as "very kinky like to be watched ! Masterbaiting live turns me on"
(Yes, that's how he spelled it.)
Meh. No great loss.
Later, sissy under consideration asked if I was at all interested by Dick Pic Guy. Aside from the obvious stunted mentality of thinking his naked dick somehow mattered, he was a good tool to explain the problem of common language/vocabulary.
While being turned on by being watched is very common, and whatever floats your boat, etc that he described himself as very kinky based on that was a VERY clear indicator that we weren't even speaking the same language in regards to kink. Much like the majority of the people that write me, he had an interest in something, and had set out to pursue that, and as it wasn't mainstream, they thought it must mean they were REALLY out there crazy kinky. (Hell, ex-husband number two thought anal was the height of twisted and kinky.) Now, obviously, there was no actual interest in submission, or desire to actually be owned, so there was no point in even considering trying to have a conversation.
However, if there actually HAD been interest, if he had just been a newbie and without clue, there would have been this huge gap of vocabulary to fill in before we could have ever tried to talk about anything more than "go for coffee, get spanked." Before we could get to "what turns you on" there would have had to be the initial "what do you know so far, what have you read, what have you tried" just to see what he MEANT by "kinky" or "spanking" or even "turned on." Did "turned on" specifically mean sexually aroused and only that? Does "masterbaiting" (sorry, but OMG LOLOL) just mean "wrap your hand around your dick and rub up and down with or without lube" because it could mean SO FUCKING MUCH MORE to someone else, and in my mind, doesn't always necessarily include anything physical. Ownership? If we haven't even discussed what the word "submissive" means in depth, how can we possibly try to define "Owned" yet? Are we talking an actual legal arrangement with signed contracts and documentation as regards to property, or do you just like the way the word sounds?
Because that matters to me. All of the delicate nuances of meaning hold POWER. Consent is POWER. I absofuckinglutely want to feel like I OWN you, down to your last molecule, if I am going to have that, and we have to figure out exactly how many molecules you have to give for that to happen.
"You just offered an unknown amount of you don't know what to a total stranger."
If you are handing out candy from a bag in your hand, "take it all" is easy. And taking that whole bag may be easy. Hell, I like candy. Maybe I'll want your candy.
However -
If you actually have a whole trunkful of candy, and you say "take it all" without sharing that "all" may be a couple hundred pounds of confection, that is going to make a difference.
Do I like that candy enough to want a whole trunkful? Will it get stale long before I can eat it all? Are you going to throw a tantrum if I share that candy with a park full of kids, or is it truly mine, to do with as I please? Are you going to pout if I toss i DOMINANT WOMEN BEWARE!
Well, Mr. Beenhere25yearsandf*ckingwithdominantwomen contacted Me again. I have a feeling he has made a full time job of this shinnanigans. Contacts women or waits to be contacted, then has a 3 month relation, then disappears due to multiple guardians (LOL), dual citizenship (USA/UK), testing on his ALIEN DNA (LOL), OH LORD the list and LIES gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe ON AND ON! Then someone else contacts you, given your name from Mr. Mindf*ck, and you quickly realize it is the same person! Back and forth, round and round, LIES AND MORE LIES. Emails from yahoo, aol, gmail (his favorite) and forget about it now that AI and ChatGPT have arrived. He is a vertible keyboard warrior. Dont be fooled if given a phone number. You'll work for it, oh yes indeed and it will again be a series of shoots and ladders! He is a L I A R, F R A U D and he even has ropped in a person or two for his mind games. Can you imagine somone playing at this over 25 years?!
If I have said it once, I've said it 100 times - verify verify verify and don't put one ounce of effort into another submissive man until HE PROVES HIMSELF TO YOU! Phone, in-person VERIFICATION. And this goes for the other wankers as well. Even the ones who send a copy of license and passport. Only in person, face to face, contracts signed and skin in the game proves a mans worth. The man knew what would happen next
He’d imagined it in his mind enough times to create the thoughtform
A thoughtform that his imagining breathed into life
There was nothing she could do
The thoughtform once released would invade her mind
Gentle but persistent
Increasing in intensity until it fully became her thoughts and her feelings
Enchanted and enslaved by his will I'm not satisfiedIt's all or nothingThere's no peace of mind for meAnd even though I tryMy greedy heart is hungryI'm not satisfied, you see?
I'm not satisfiedI'm lost and emptyThere's no reason why, you see?And I could live a thousand livesAnd I know I won't be happyI'm not satisfied with me I lost someone this week. No we weren't close lately. We used to be. Our relationship was never defined, it was loosely maintained, but we popped in and out of each other's lives over the period of several years. He was my first introduction to bdsm and the only D type that I could truly call a close friend at any point. He is the only one who ever took me to that amazing place that every sub reaches for, and when I used to write, I wrote about our times together. Those are still some of my favorites to look back on.
He was also there to cradle me in his arms and comfort me when a scene with someone else went really bad. He was there to help me figure out what I was and wanted without pressing himself on me, so that I would be safe in the future and make better choices about who I interacted with. He served as my protector for a while, when I was feeling vulnerable but didn't know if I wanted to step back from the scene at that point.
He never made me feel like a burden. He helped me in my kink life and he helped me equally in my vanilla life.
I knew he was sick but he didn't let on how bad it was. I found out on the book of faces. He is gone now, and I wish I could have been there for him, but he didn't want anyone to know the extent of his illness. That was his way.
Goodbye SkyMaster. You will always be loved, you will always be appreciated. I have nothing but warmth in my heart and in my soul for you. I can say that about VERY FEW people in my life. You will always be missed.
I want you to be my teacher. I'll wear a schoolgirl uniform with a really short skirt, top and skimpy panties. My hair will be in pigtails to make me look really cute.
Ill come in asking for extra credit to pass school and in order to get it you tell me exactly what you want while you pull out your ruler.
I then hesitate and say I've never done this before so its time for you to teach me.
I put the tip in my mouth and hate the taste but you grab my head you deep throat me, unloading everything in my mouth.
I end up coughing it out but you grab my face and tell me to swallow and I fortunately do it.
You tell me to take it or I fail and I cant afford to fail. You then grab me and bend me over a desk with my beautiful rear in full view.
I try to pull down my skirt to cover my rear but you grab my hands and tie them behind me forcefully.
Im helpless as you lift my skirt and pull off my panties to unveil my virgin pussy.
You then mess with me and tease my pussy with your fingers and tongue before you tell me im ready with your throbbing ruler in full view
I beg you to stop but you spank me for talking back to the teacher. You then shove your ruler in me to to grade my pussy.
I have no choice but to take it while you keep fucking me from behind. You then rip off my top to mess with my nipples and maybe even give me the honor ot stroking me to drive me insane
Eventually after some time you unload in me as I experience your load for the first time as I scream in pleasure.
You then tell me to clean you up as I lick every last juice from you magnificent body and ruler, while I hear you give me my final grade.
I cant wait for our next lesson
Limits.. No online only, must progress to real time and hopefully 24 7.No pro Doms. Paying money to my Dom or Master for the privilege of being his is ridiculous.No blood, needles, knives, fireplay, brown showers, or pimping out. No STDs, no kneeling.. on account of bad knees, which actually upsets me greatly that i cannot do this. No children or under 18 years old, my own children are Completely off limits.. there is NO grey area on this. i am not pansexual, bisexual, bi curious, or a lesbian.. i have no interest in being sexual with another woman. However, should my master ask this of me, i would try my best to comply.There may be more to add.Interests.. Being restrained, discipline, guidance, micro management.. if possible with my prospective, being spanked. Possibly more to add later. The impartation and acceptance of my philosophy, which is detailed and involved, is as meaningful to me as any physical act. Seeing my submissive learning, seeking to better herself, exploring and integrating my philosophical tenants within her life is a reward that rivals any physical act could provide.
Our conversations serve to connect us, each one takes us deeper within each other. Dominants that do not listen do not do well when entrusted with another. I am at a point in my life where I have no interest in games. I’m searching for something real, something that can grow and prosper into a long-term, real-life Female-Led Relationship (FLR). I’m not looking for online fantasies or time-wasters. I am looking for a man whose passion for submission and surrender matches my passion for Dominance and control.
I am a beautiful, bossy woman — confident, and unashamedly powerful. I know what I want, and I expect a man who knows how to follow direction and take pleasure in service. A man who can worship a woman’s power, not just admire it from afar.
Fitness, discipline, and intellect are important to me. I keep myself in shape and expect a man who values his health as much as I do. I enjoy travel, fine dining, exploring cultures, and curating experiences that delight all the senses. I live a life of freedom and choice, and I am willing to share that with the right submissive man who earns his place by my side (and at my feet).
The man I’m looking for should be respectful, self-aware, and able to balance strength with surrender. Emotional support, companionship, and intelligent conversation are just as valuable to me as physical service. You should be well-mannered, attentive, and serious about building something real.
My tastes in kink are wide-ranging — Bondage, CFNM, tease and denial, chastity, worship, CBT, strap-on play, humiliation, and more — but my greatest pleasure comes from a submissive man who focuses on my enjoyment first and finds fulfillment in pleasing me.
If you’re truly serious, and understand the difference between fantasy and reality, then send me a message. Be prepared to introduce yourself properly and explain how you intend to serve and grow under my direction. Only quality men who crave a real FLR need apply. I guess the thing to do is Post the resupts to this, so here it is. Can't say I believe it is really accurate becuse there were many statments that had more than one statemement within them, and I agrees 100% with only half the statement... The quandry of my brain lol. I mean, if anyone who is following my journals, read the entry right before this one, you know I am 100% NOT 66% Masochist lol
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
100% Submissive
97% Brat
66% Masochist
64% Rope bunny
57% Vanilla
52% Degradee
47% Experimentalist
45% Primal (Prey)
33% Exhibitionist
31% Slave
12% Pet
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Rigger
0% Voyeur
0% Switch
0% Sadist
0% Ageplayer
0% Owner
0% Non-monogamist
0% Master/Mistress
0% Boy/Girl
0% Dominant
0% Degrader
0% Brat tamer
0% Primal (Hunter)
Today there are many clouds
Winds compressed between the heavens and earth.
Night follows day
Sun rises in the east and sets in the West
Mssterd shepparding their slaves witj Collars cuffs leashes and whips.
Some get the cane , others get deep throated, most like degradation ,
Bad naughty ones get their hair pulled , face slapped until obliteration whilst other have their throats grabbed.
The silhouette of other slaves can be seen, some ignored in the corner of the room others on all fours kissing their masters feet until apology accepted. I have been a Dom since the 90's. I have had subs, slaves, babygirls, boitoys, ts sluts. I have spent time carving initials in peoples backs, slicing their skin with exacto knives, whipping marks on their backs, legs and ass, crop marking them and making them orgasm from the pain. I have led an interesting life. And I want more.
I am not dead, I am 51 with the urge to please and provide pain for the sake of release. I am willing to remain loyal and kind in this process. Often when one reads my profile they think he will be too soft for me, or too sadistic. I promise I am a great mix of many things. The experience I have under and on my belt has made me conscious of who I am and how I should be with subs and slaves. It has also taught me that I need certain kinds of people in my life, in my heart, in my soul. And I see some of you and I think, these people might work, and then the chemistry isnt there or I am simply not attracted to them. I appreciate all the men reaching out to me like the horny bitches they arem but unless you are 100 percent fem, have a pretty face, and dress all the time, Im not jumping.
As for the ladies, well, I have likes and dislikes. It may seem shallow but I have types that get me hard, and types that make my knees weak, and types I wish I could avoid. We all do dont we? When it comes to love, I am loyal to a fault, and I am brutally honest. I hope someone sees this out there and thinks maybe I am his type and wants to reach out. Maybe.
Master K It's been a quiet couple of months. P had surgery a few months ago and recovery has been slow. That said, I've traveled a few times, especially around the holidays, and that led to some intense fantasies about being captured or coerced away from home. It's absolutely fun to be tied up at home, but it's also fun to think about being snagged from a parking lot with just the most basic ties. Like zipties around my wrists and ankles, a cloth gag secured with tape, my own scarf as a blindfold so I have no idea where I'm being taken. Fighting to get to my cell phone and just as my fumbling fingers manage to pull it out of my bag, the car stops and I'm hauled away to my fate. Maybe my captor sees my phone, forces me to unlock it with my fingertips, and then uses it to document my punishment for trying to escape. Culminating with a photo sent to my husband of my well-used and creampied pussy, with my legs held up to help me conceive. I know the studies are inconclusive but ever since I saw the movie Election, I've been obsessed with the idea of my legs being held back, willingly or otherwise, after a man has cum in me. Or maybe just Matthew Broderick.
A few men have offered to "rescue" me from a life of being knocked up by a Trump supporter. And I have to admit, a lot of the allure was lost for me after the election, and even more after he took office, and even more after unelected gooner Elon Musk started running the government. Maybe I could be a mail order American bride for someone in Australia or Canada. I have no idea how immigration law works in general and especially not for other countries. Maybe someone tricks me and offers to let me stay with them for a few months in a new country, no strings attached. But once I arrive in my new home, I see the guest bedroom has just a mattress with rope laid out on it. I turn to leave and see my benefactor holding my passport and cell phone. He tells me if I want to stay, I better strip down like a good girl, put a ball gag in my mouth, and handcuff myself. Spending the next few months with my legs wrapped around a stranger, hoping other countries allow anchor babies. Trading one form of servitude for another.
What can I say, the body wants what the body wants. As M and I take our search for a bull more serious I would like to give you a little background on me. The following is my very abbreviated true life story and an explanation of how M and I ended up here.
As a young girl, I was always fascinated with sex and the power of what I knew was different from what others were into. I grew up in the middle of New Hampshire on a small farm and knew nothing of pop culture. My mom cut my hair, and her own willow switches. Both felt like their own brand of punishment. I was often bullied in school. Always by the boys. The girls tended to ignore me as I was bookish and weird. I will never forget the very first time when, backed into a corner, I finally kicked my aggressor in the balls. I felt a rush of power. Instantly I went from simply wishing they would leave me alone to read my book in peace, to looking forward with anticipation to the daily assault I would give them. Looking back now, I realize that some of them enjoyed the power exchange. By high school, I was a sexual demon. I didn’t know there were names for the roles I enjoyed. I just knew that sex was power, and I needed to feel that rush as often as possible.
During my last year in college, I finally found a name for those roles. I started working at a fetish and fantasy house in Manhattan in 1998. I started there as a switch, and enjoyed it as a learning experience, but I quickly found myself drawn to playing the role of the Dominant Sadistic Goddess. Always with a wicked sense of humor. This was a great place to explore my kinky sexuality and fostered a lifelong love of the kink and BDSM community. But soon enough – I outgrew that space.
I moved to San Francisco and spent the next 8 years as an independent professional Dominatrix. It was the way for me to explore myself and the world. I traveled all over the world to visit devotees. I put myself through law school, which became my “real career”. Turns out, I could not stay away and returned to my love of being a professional Dominatrix and BDSM educator in my limited free time.
In 2012, while visiting the East Coast, at a scene night in a Manhattan club, I saw a young man standing alone in rather vanilla clothing. He looked so helpless; it was clearly his first event. I saw not only a potential client, but someone I knew needed help. This young man turned out to be M who would later become my husband. We spent years building a relationship through sessions and dates that would follow. It was a slow process but we started involving each other more and more in our separate lives. Eventually my work outside BDSM brought me back to the East Coast. My relationship with M blossomed even more at that point, he was no longer a client. We were getting very close and were no longer exploring his interests, we were exploring mine. I decide to stop seeing clients and we moved close to each other. I turned my free time attentions to coaching women in BDSM and kink. After so many years of catering to the fantasies of men, I was captivated by women’s sexual journeys and helping them name and realize their own deepest desires. My experiences learning from other women confirmed what I had always suspected – that toxic masculinity is bad for EVERYONE’S sex life and I bring that ethos to my marriage and my life. M and I were married in a private ceremony in SF in 2016. I have stopped teaching in my free time and have focused all my kink energy in creating the exact lifestyle marriage I have always dreamed of.
Potential bulls, f you have questions and would like me to elaborate please don't hesitate to ask.
K I WANT TO WISH ALL OF YOU,
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY
NEW YEAR.
BE SAFE OUT THERE.
ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS. more to come here is a taste of the next part
Slave and pet are now preparing you for what will be the most by far the largest/greatest thing you have ever done in your whole life time. This will truly test your love, might and soul.
You look around the lit up room and see a full dungeon for what is worth. Rows of floggers, canes, cat-n-nines, hung so neatly, placed on one wall. You see several shapes, sizes, thicknesses and all different colors. You have never seen such a collection this large before. Your attention is brought to the one that is glittering in the light, off to the left middle side. It shimmers softly in the glow of the room. Hello
Looking to meet ladies for some fun chats, meets, photography and various play games.
Also just chatting if that's what you want.
More information on request.
Preferably around North London, Essex, Herts area.
Thanks for reading my journal. For f^ck sakes, if you are outside the US PLEASE do not try to flirt with Us. We are having a hard enough time looking for a place and mouse may end up going her own way if something doesn't come along. So the LAST thing we want to think about is relocation of an international person. All mail from outside the US hoes to bulk and I may or may not read it, same goes for male from single male slaves, I understand yall are 9n the desperate side to find your place in a dynamic but right now unless you are that 1% that has a house for us to live in? Chances are it won't happen. It is a rule for me that I do not mix politics and kink and I've only broken that rule twice. The first time was when my daughter and grandchildren were caught in a shooting incident. Fortunately everyone survived because it wasn't the typical American indiscriminate shooting spree. Today marks the second time. Make no mistake, the U.S. has now descended fully into fascism and history, specifically Germany 1930 to 1945, already showed us how this will end. It was way too soon to be sodomized the first time someone tried. I just couldn't take it. It hurt so much that I avoided anal sex until I was in my early 50s. Realizing how many years I wasted being afraid turned me into the eager slut I am now. It's true.
I can't speak for anyone else but I have heard this happens to a lot of betas. Anymore when anyone fucks me I lose all sense of manhood and experience a surge of femininity until they finish, sometimes even longer now. It feels so right but it doesn't last like I want it to. I'm sure the day is coming when I'll remain a gurl permanently.
There are Doms and Dommes here who want submissives like me to feminize and control. I might be the ideal one to serve you long term and live-in.
So, please tell me, how can I serve you? How do you see me fitting into your household and improving your life? I was enslaved by older master in 1980 and served my Master until His death in 2017. He made it clear from the very beginning that I had to be dressed in nylon stockings with suspenders as part of my slave uniform. He in no way wanted to feminize me.
He even wore pantyhose himself as a natural part of his daily attire He was 12 years older than I and extremely masculine and authoritarian. A white collar and wealthy Master. A man who weighted obedience and discipline. A Master you dared not do anything but obey. As time went by he became more and more demanding. Discipline and obedience were not up for discussion. His word was law. Love and fear were two sides of the same coin, and he managed to make me fall in love with him. I really feared disappointing him, as the consequences were merciless punishment, be it lack of love disobedience and mistakes as well as ruined nylon stockings I had never been with a man sexually before I met my master, but his power over me constantly drew me closer to my Mater and deepened my slavery and I ended up loving him and becoming addicted and I ended up feeling it as a reward when he commanded me to suck his cock, swallow his cum and drink his urine and even to kiss him He took total control and quietly increased my slavery until eventually there was no way out of slavery
Nylon stockings developed into a strong fetish and I connected my master’s power with his pantyhose. His legs were strong like a former footballer and the tights emphasized his masculinity and strength He was married when I met him, and for several years I served my Master more or less daily at His office. He owned His own business. He widowed ten years before he died so His last ten years my service was moved to His private estate then on I became his total slave. My slavery was greatly expanded and without any limits.
Master had a friend with whom he often shared me during some years. He was then required to wear pantyhose too which he did with no problem.
Some people should stop watching porn
Lets start with this umm Master, we will call him MasterJS. He has just joined and contacted me asking if I was interested in 2 slaves as he had to get rid of them. I asked why and he said he was getting too old and he was going back to his wife and kids. How nice to take the time to dump them off with anyone. He tells me they were house slaves and listed what they would do, severl things which are against the law. I asked him if he or they would be paying for all that was needed for them to move to another country. He said that would be at my expence.
It is funny he blocked me but what is sad was he did not read my profile where he would have learned I am not into women. I have also had a message almost the same conversation a while ago so my guess is this person watches too much porn.
If you cant be bothered to read my profile dont contact me and make offers. A few times I was approached by female Dominants, that were able to get my fantasy machine started and inspired dreams of me being with them.
This was a powerful dynamic, so influential that it made me go out and buy an Apple gift card worth $50. Since this is what hookers normally ask for a 'suck & fuck' half hour, I thought,
okay this works, but unfortunately it did not. The moment they had the code from me I was ghosted.
Just a warning to all folks here! So, here are my profile updates, which unfortunately I can't make to my profile itself. Let's see how much of this actually gets posted.
I am seeking only Dominant Men.
New profile:
**About me****TLDR version:** Male (he/him pronouns) Canberra-based ethical non-monogamist, rubberist slave (open to subbing and bottoming or even being equals) is looking for dominant men, for short term experiences, experiments, play sessions all the way to long term slave relationships. I am looking for local Australian people for a face to face relationship. I am not looking for an online relationship, but am open to relocating for the right man. I am very happy to satisfy your curiousity about latex rubber in a single session or something more long term. W/we may have already chatted/met/played over the past 15 years, as my previous profiles include ozrubbergimp, ozrubberpony and LearnerRubberDom. i was out of the local scene for a few years in the 2010s due to exploring long-distance relationships but I discovered that I need face to face relationships that are moving forward, not online fantasies which end up with long chats that don't go anywhere.**Personal information**I'm a person who:* likes using lists to organise information as my natural inclination is to start too many things at the same time and not finish most of them, which happens to me a lot as an [INFP](https://personalityjunkie.com/infp-personality-type-profile/) when my Extraverted Intuition is in charge :)* Is intelligent, caring, kind and enjoys conversation.* is physically 198cm (or 6'6") tall, of average build (i.e. have middle age spread and am doing something about it) and weigh 118 kilos (ditto). I have grey/brown head hair, blue eyes and little body hair (which may be hard to see under the rubber).* Besides wearing (breathing, smelling, tasting etc) rubber, I am an indoors introvert type of person. I enjoy quiet nights in and not nightclubbing or parties. I enjoy reading and discussing science fiction, history, politics, astrology, psychology, supporting green politics and causes, such as preventing man-made climate change, promoting respect for all religions, supporting the rights of minorities, and living in a world of limits, such as peak oil. My main hobby is playing board wargames published by GMT games, VPG games, DG, Strategy and Tactics, Avalon Hill (RIP).* Potential income-earning skills: besides those that i have gained as a policy wonk employed by the Australian federal public service for 25+ years (literature-based research and analysis; writing short, medium and long reports; managed four staff; project management; contract management) i also can do futures studies and foresight (help you and your organisation develop a vision for the future and implement it); high school science teaching; ecological field work; written communication: drafting, editing, proof-reading.---**How I want to meet and get to know people*** I am patient and want to get to know people well online (chatting, camming) before meeting in person for vanilla dates to talk about our common interests before playing the first time. Sure this way is a slow way, but I want to find people who could travel together with me a long way on a common journey, and so patience and a slow pace is a virtue. I am happy to talk through what I/i am looking for and work through any questions that people might have.* If you have no interest in me, please tell me. I have previously pissed people off by being persistent beyond reasonable requests to stop, so please tell me if you have no interest.* I believe that physical and emotional chemistry is vital between us, even for a play session. So meeting in person is important to establish this early in getting to know someone.* my philosophy is that there are two levels in any scene, relationship or 24/7 life: - at the base level, both parties (dominant and submissive) have the power to enter, continue or leave the scene, relationship or 24/7 life. Both parties have the power to propose, negotiate and consent to what might be included or excluded in it.- at the level of the power exchange, the submissive consents through negotiation to give the dominant a level of decision-making and control for the duration of the scene, relationship or 24/7 life.* my principle is that any participants in any scene, relationship or 24/7 life has a safeword or equivalent. W/we'd only play after W/we met for a meal or two together to check one another out and negotiate what we will do together, as I don't believe in rushing things. Feel free to ask me any questions Y/you like.* I prefer to meet single people, but I am open to playing and relating to people in all types of relationship. If you already in a relationship - well i don't want to be your "rubber affair", and have to compete with your spouse or partner, even if you think cam sex doesn't count as real sex. i am more than happy to play with people if their partner(s) is OK with that. I am discovering that I am curious about in ethical non-monogamy relationships, as I am realising that in Canberra it is unlikely that I will be unable to meet my fetish and emotional needs in the same person.* I am looking for local Australian men, or international men. I am not looking for an online long distance relationship.* My current consent model is FRIES, which stands for Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific (hat-tip to mishmash). The one that really resonated with me was enthusiastic, not just from the other people I interact with, but for myself. If I find I am not enthusiastic about trying something, it has given me the permission to say no, instead of the mindset of how do you know if you don't try?? And yes, there is something in that, but you can be enthusiastically curious, or not curious at all, and that's ok! For example, it's highly likely that you know that you don't want to lick that shit, even though you've never tried it before, it's ok for you to never try it.* i believe and support and use the sub's / slave's bill of rights:1. Every sub has the right to have their body, intellect, and emotions protected by their Dom.2. Every sub has the right to choose the person whom they serve and to discontinue that service and take their leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.3. Every sub has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in their submission.4. Every sub has the right to protected sex if they so wish.5. Every sub has the right to privacy if they so wish. No sub can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without his expressed desire to be so.6. Every sub has the right to defend themselves from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.7. Every sub has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.8. Every sub has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other subs and Dom/mes without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.9. Every sub has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.10. Every sub has the right to protect his own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.---Still here? Still interested? Now on to the kink stuff...## ***Kink information***### **Things that i know about myself that i Wow, they have journals back. What a trip.
Since this is easier than updating My profile, I'll just use this space to clarify that 'm no longer interested in online dynamics.
It no longer fulfills Me. So if you aren't local or able to travel to meet Me in a reasonable amount of time, you're not what I'm looking for,
and I wish you happy searching. Love and War:
In the realm of love and passionate strife,
Two fierce hearts clashed in the dance of life.
Khan, with eyes like burning fire,
Choke, with grace that none could tire.
Their love was a tempest, wild and untamed,
Yet each sought dominance, their pride unashamed.
In the moon's soft glow, they met on the field,
Their destinies entwined, their fates sealed.
Khan, with sword held high, proclaimed his might,
Choke, with eyes ablaze, prepared for the fight.
Their words were like thunder, their gazes like steel,
As they battled for love, with an unyielding zeal.
With each strike and parry, the earth trembled below,
As Khan and Choke fought, in a passionate, fiery flow.
Their love and their fury, intertwined as one,
Their souls locked in battle, 'til the rise of the sun.
But in the end, as dust settled and hearts slowed,
They realized that love was the only code.
For in their struggle for dominance and control,
They found that love's power made them whole.
So Khan and Choke, in an embrace sublime,
Set aside their battle, and the passage of time.
For in love's embrace, they found their true rest,
As two souls entwined, and their hearts truly blessed. New year and new beginnings
After becoming active in March, it’s been a slow gradual progress getting back into the scene. I was weary at first due to the past weighing me down and the current situation I was in at the time. Reflecting back to where I was, to where I am now, I've come a long way and ebbing forward in becoming comfortable in my own skin and who I am.
It's been a massive change from no social life to meeting so many Brilliant kinky minded people, I find what was easy for me to interact with people with self-confidence was gone a long time ago, however big thank you to the people that have given me advice and self-belief,(even if I was kicking and screaming) to carry on and not to be discouraged about social situations or setbacks in the things that I do. So, a big thank you to all from me, for helping on my pervy journey.
What do I think back on 2023? Well, my plans and ambition has changed after moving and starting again. From dudgeon hire and Airbnb to just letting things come and go as they will, due to this I've gained so much freedom. Not being tied down finically and mentally that I'm now traveling a lot more than 15 years ago. Finding out and planning to attend old/new munches, clubs, workshops. Planning ahead for meets with people that I met along the way. Working on play Scenes and finally relearning my skills as a practitioner that I thought I lost all so long ago.
You don’t tend to realize, what was taken for granted can be lost or thought lost, I thought so for a long time, still do at times but it's the willingness to draw a line in the sand with yourself, to make a new start in thinking, to carry on consistently in what you're doing and where you're going, that what was lost is just misplaced.
I restarted this journey on my own and now joined with people on their own paths, it can be scary and daunting at times, it can also be exciting and rewarding but there is now one thing constant that I'm thankful for, I'm not on my own on this path anymore and I'm grateful for the close connections people have made with me.
So, taking a step back, what have I achieved? Establishing myself back in NW scene. That was my goal last year, but I've achieved so much more without realizing it. Creating a scene and doming in public display. New techniques in sensory and impact play. I am more proficient with the Violet wand and regaining my self-confidence as a dominant in styles of role play. I've been asked to mentor and accepted; it is a responsibility I take seriously and has helped me retread old ground with my own training from over 20 years ago. And last, somehow (I'm thanking the gods and certain people wile typing this) in the winter after taking up residence at club lash, I'm now Dudgeon Monitoring, I will always feel more comfortable working. It’s helped immensely to quickly orientate myself back as a semi professional in-house dominant and I'm honestly grateful this has happened.
Moving forwards to 2024 I have a firmer grasp of myself and what I am able to do now and what I want to do in the future. There are some projaspects in the works from group activities to self-improvement, some long term other short, but all kink related as I reacquaint myself back more into the lifestyle
My path may have been slow and gradual, but I've come a long way, and can look back knowing I'm on the right path. I still have a long way to go and don’t know if this path will end as new avenues open in 2024, but for now be mindful, live in the present, take stock, give thanks and appreciation in what you have. To stay humble, to stay hungry for the knowledge and opportunities that have been given to you and to always appreciate those meaningful connections that people give you.
2023 thank you
2024 I'm ready... more than i will ever be and I'm looking forward to what comes further down the road When fantasy meets reality, some men find themselves lost in the space between what they imagine and what truly exists. In a world filled with movies, games, social media, and idealized images, it becomes easy to mistake fantasy for attainable truth. They may chase unrealistic versions of women, power, or status, forgetting that real life is imperfect, complex, and grounded in responsibility. When the line between fantasy and reality fades , disappointment, frustration, and confusion often follow. Learning to see life as it is—not as we wish it to be—takes maturity and self-awareness. True strength lies in facing reality head-on, appreciating genuine experiences over illusions, and building a life that is real, not imagined. Men...you need to do better.
i am no longer wearing a collar :(
this is not my choice,but sometimes life gets in the way..the wound is still very raw and i miss Master so much.
but i accept and respect His decision and i know how lucky i was to have worn his collar for the time i did.
i have so many great memories and will cherish the time we had and the fun along the way.
the road trip was super fun.your sensual style blew my mind and god i fukn miss that soo much.
your talents were mind blowing and im sure ill never find another Master with the skill set you perfected.
anyway...here i am again.
have to update the profile and i will soon. Still looking for the sub husband. He:
is 30-50 yo
have no kids of any age
is not a bore
is in good shape
knows how to make money and at the same time does not flaunt his wealth
is not sissy
We still can discuss your age. Don't be shy and DM me.
i have been going through hell for the past week. Yesterday was finally here and gone. Yeah, for that and thensome. i am so drained from the 15 hours of work put in for the day, cleaning the house, laundry and making 3 sets of beds from washing all the bedding (pillows, blankets, and sheets). Then this morning i got sick while sleeping and woke to it.... yes one can get sick and sleep through it. i was so dead tired that i woke sometime afterwards, so then i had to wash the bedding of mine, all over again........minus the pillows. Good thing ijust had a duvet cover on my bed as a blanket, so no heavy comforter was needing washing again... phew. Now, i lay in bed, with a xour tummy i just fed screambled eggs and cheese. ..... Now that i think about it...... i wonder if my tooth pain is making me feel this way?
those eggs were soooooooooooooo good the doggo's wanted them too, they were at me heels trying to get anytihng that would fall into my lap. lol
Thank goodness for Friday. Now, Saturday is the next day from Hell. I want to roleplay as a cheerleader. You command me to cheerlead for you as you play a sport in front of a crowd.
However before I go out there you force me to wear clamps on my nipples, embrassing panties and stick a dildo in my pussy.
As I try to cheer, you turn on the vibrator in the dildo and make me drip my juices while making it impossible for me to cheer properly
Then when you lose you take me to the locker room, tell me I lost because of my useless cheer leading, while taking the dildo and pumping it in my.pussy while against a locker
You then take out your cock and slowly pull out the dildo, but then give me no tike.to.rest as you shove your cock in me.
You take out your frustrations on me while im in bliss while holding my pompoms, and cheering your cock.
Your teammates then come in looking defeated and as they see us they join in to get their frustration out.
The entire team then take their cocks and shower me in their juices while I wave my pompoms and my cheerleading out turns from red to white.
You then put me back in your sports bag while im in estacy and say that you're going back to train me again so the team doesnt lose again. Here's another note.
My bodily fluids are off limits so if you want to control them and not even negotiate it then you may as well say goodbye. Also telling me you want me to give up complete control right away when I walk into a room is just a huge red flag to me. I don't care if you have pictures of you doing this kind of thing to others it's not for me and sometimes those pictures make me hugely uncomfortable. Please for the love of go READ MY PROFILE!!!!
Do not just skim through it and my interests/limits if you really want to potentially be my Dom you have to read the whole thing, I will certainly know by your questions if you don't. "She knew he was about to finish. She could tell.
His grip on her hips got stronger, his breathing picked up, he started going even faster. It wasn't exactly subtle, but it wasn't anything he needed to hide anyway. She kept doing what she'd been doing from the moment he slid in: moaning, pushing back, being for him.
He came. She did not.
They stayed locked together panting a few moments. His cock twitching, emptying into her. Her head hung low. He gave her a squeeze and a kiss on the back of the neck.It wasn't as though she used to cum from being fucked, at least not all the time. It was just that she used to care that she didn't. There's be disappointment, there'd be frustration.Now, she didn't even notice. It didn't cross her fluffy, mostly-empty mind. The constant need was normal. The itch to be scratched had stopped being an itch, just become part of how she was. That she even could have cum from being fucked had long been forgotten.Good girls don't cum, so... what?
Nothing was missing.
When he pulled out she turned around straightaway, like she'd been trained, and took his cock into her mouth. To clean herself off of him, to clean whatever drops of him he hadn't left inside her already, and to thank him for letting her be useful.It had felt good, obviously. So good. So, so good. But it wasn't for her.
It was for him. Just like all of her was. She had purpose now, not like before. He'd saved her from that, given something better to her. Given her what she'd really been meant for.
So being thankful was important.
Certainly, much, much more important than cumming could ever be."
a lot of people think because you have a submissive side you don't have a voice , you just submit blindly, so do, I don't, if I find a Dom, who have the same fetishes I do or similar, then , it's time to chat and find out what the rules are , and talk them through, come to an agreement then go from there you can always say no. To something your not happy with. And enjoy. When you have the Dom of your passion, you will do what pleases and pleasures you both == Results from bdsmtest.org ==
100% Degradee
100% Boy/Girl
100% Masochist
100% Rope bunny
100% Submissive
100% Pet
98% Ageplayer
98% Voyeur
95% Slave
95% Exhibitionist
93% Primal (Prey)
93% Experimentalist
58% Brat
56% Non-monogamist
12% Primal (Hunter)
7% Vanilla
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Rigger
0% Brat tamer
0% Degrader
0% Dominant
0% Master/Mistress
0% Owner
0% Sadist
0% Switch this is my dream
This is not a fantasy.
This is the ache beneath my ribs—
the lullaby I’ve hummed to the stars
since I first learned to wait.
I have waited
with my heart open like soft hands,
through silence, through stalling,
through the almosts that never quite stayed.
I dream of a man who is not just Daddy in name,
but Daddy in soul—
the kind who meets me at the door
with arms that feel like Sunday morning.
Where I kneel, not in performance,
but in reverence—
because I know I am held.
Because I know I am safe.
I want to kiss his feet every day—
on the good days, with laughter between us,
on the sad days, when the world is heavy,
on the angry days, when we tremble but choose not to run.
Not out of duty, but devotion.
I will pray over him.
Not because he needs saving—
but because I need to witness his peace,
his purpose, his path made light.
Because loving him is my quiet altar.
I don’t want a scene.
I want a sanctuary.
I want someone who learns my rhythm
and holds my chaos like something holy.
To be kissed on the forehead
because I am more than pretty—
I am precious.
To be told "good girl"
in a voice that knows
I am doing my best,
not just being obedient.
To not have to explain
why I cry after sweetness,
why soft love undoes me,
why I tremble when someone finally stays.
I’m not waiting to be played with.
I’m waiting to be kept. Hello all. I don't come here often, but I do enjoy talking to new people. I have a lot of experience being a Mistress. I have lived in a 24/7 BDSM poly relationship for 17 years. I appreciate the poly lifestyle for a lot of reasons. I am looking for a pet to p!at with. I would also like to find a slave to take to Kinkfest. Also help packing and unpacking is welcome.
I love to do pressure points and flogging. Puppy play is also fun. I enjoy many different things and am always learning. It´s really funny what kind of user are here. Many of the user used the words reliable, serious, etc. but by the most is this bullshit.Very interesting is that many user who have photos with a nice body (muscled or athletic) are not able for a live skype check. And when you ask them why or when they will be able they block you. Come on, leave to call yourself slave. You are not ! A real slave never habit like that by a master ! You are a shame for all REAL slaves.I have no problem when somebody tell me he is not interested because I am not his type or for with reason ever, but not to answer or to play games is unacceptable and is an insult to every true slave We have been together for 12 years and have played for 5 of them.
I worked for a firm that had a new owner take over the company, i worked in sales and he was much older than both myself and Tanya my wife, he was early 60's.
(un)fortunately at a xmas party he made a play for Tanya and she, after consuming a bit too much drink, didnt push back on his advances which culminated in them kissing outside and him feeling her up - i know this as a colleague told me.
It then started from there that she started seeing him, eventually i found out, but his position of power compromised me and his pleasing of my wife - i let it play out.
A few months into it i got invited to watch them fucking which, whilst jealous and angry turned me on and me on the journey for beign a cuckold. I am having a fun break until 2th January then back to manuscript editing.
4th January I reintroduce keto and steps, later back to yoga. I can't wait to get supple and increase my stamina again. February I will back weight training, I have all sorts of free weight dumbells in my home so I can concentrate on reps before form to rebuild what went last year.
No suitable driving submissives, as all that applied were newbie bottoms, when it's two years experience in BDSM, FLR and driving/having a car I want. I miss the web site Servants4U for that site had plenty of respectful gentleman submissive guys with at least five years experience. But many left the community once covid hit and haven't returned. What a pity.
Today I am off to the nail salon so new pics of my nails will likely be on Fetlife.com for those who enjoy a Lady with carefully manicured nails. What a New Year 2024 is in store! Make it a fun one now!! Psst... It's secret time. Pinky swear you won't go and tell? I'm trusting you since we're journal friends.
I follow two journals:
1. A delightful crotchety and humorous dominant man who shares brief opinions from time to time. He's clever and funny and doesn't really care what you think. I dig it.
2. An eloquent dominant female who shares song lyrics, poetry, and conversations over tea. She elevates this place. I would love to go into a used book shop with her.
Okay, here's the secret part where it gets a little weird. I do not follow but I look for two other journals. The first is a dominant male who I am pretty sure is certifiably mad. I won't officially follow him to ensure I stay off of his radar as a precaution- sacrificial lamb is not my kink. But you better believe I scroll the journals to catch any new entries.*
The other is a dominant male who often posts. I think he is some sort of AI. Hear me out. All of the sentiments match to the point of being repetitive. With poor grammar. It's like riding a hamster wheel. Someone requested it, AI produced it, it was slapped in a journal, and there's a psychologist teaming with a scientist in the background monitoring to see who falls for it. I can't picture someone producing the same phrases over and over. Even the mad hatter doesn't do that. Has to be a bot.
No, I won't tell you who they are, don't ask. If you know, you know. And if you're the psychologist and scientist letting me know that I figured it out, do put a rush on that.
*My crotchety friend is also fascinated with the mad hatter's entries. I knew he was good people. *** NOT LOOKING ***My main profile text is a little over a year old. Like most people here, I avoid updating the main profile because you have to have it approved all over again if you do. It's a profile, not an advertisement. I am happy with my existing arrangement for discipline. I'm not attracted to men at all, so your emails go straight to my Bulk Mail folder, which I only browse occasionally. Yes, even yours. If that seems harsh, it's because otherwise my main inbox gets flooded with unwanted approaches from blokes who don't read profiles and don't respect boundaries. I have occasionally accepted men for the disciplinarian role (as long as it is purely platonic) but I emphasise once more that I'm happy with my existing arrangements for this. You probably won’t get a reply unless you meet BOTH of these conditions (and even then it's not guaranteed):
1) use the magic word to show you have actually read this journal
2) catch my interest in some way that I like
Like I said in my main profile, I am not into the Dom/sub side of things. So if you approach me expecting to meet a slave or submissive, you're going to be very disappointed. It's just not my thing.
P.S. Guys, the new magic word is "tiger". This little test shows you have at least read this journal, so it should filter out a few of the idiots.
+ NRA Bans Firearms During Donald Trump's Speech at Texas Event
BY ANDERS ANGLESEY ON 5/25/22 AT 7:51 AM EDT
The National Rifle Association (NRA) told attendees they will not be able to carry firearms during an event with former President Donald Trump at its Texas conference that will be held just days after a deadly mass shooting at an elementary school in the state.
On its website, the pro-gun organization declared that people would not be able to bring their firearms into the General Assembly Hall during its upcoming Annual Leadership Forum in Houston on Friday, May 27. In a notice, the NRA said firearms, toy guns and "weapons of any kind" would not be allowed inside the hall. It also listed several other items, such as laser pointers and signs among things that were prohibited.
The NRA described its annual leadership forum as being "one of the most politically significant and popular events in the country." But a shadow has been cast over the conference after 19 children and two adults were fatally shot at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas on Tuesday.
(more)
https://www.newsweek.com/nra-bans-firearms-during-donald-trumps-speech-texas-event-1709957#Echobox=1653480476 Well, another update due!
My gf and I have a very fun lesbian to play with. Very into the humiliation aspect of having to serve a bloke too, so that's fun lol.
Now just looking for the rarest slave type. The prisoner type, sometimes join the rest of us when able, but lives to serve me mostly, while they are away. They have lives, interests, hobbies etc but you don't. Your entire existence is obeying and serving, kept locked/chained away when not in use etc. exact details and any limits discussable, but as close as possible to that. 2026 - What will you bring?
It is a while since I developed a contact here into a rewarding encounter or relationship. But as you can see I am still here.
Why, you may well ask? Why suffer the frustration?
Well, simply because I know how good it can be.....when the connection is there. I have been extremely lucky a handful of times in my life, with special ladies - I cherish the memories of every one. A couple are no longer with us, a couple wanted more than I could give at the time and others just ran their course, parting as friends rather than partners. So I know!!!
In late 2025, I encountered a soul that brought out the Dom in me, the best of me. If you like, she awakened the beast within or the dark passenger I carry. It was not perfect. I misjudged an early element. She is hesitant to make any "move" or say anything - waiting for the Dom ( ie me ) to orchestrate everything. I prefer and am used to a more balanced partnership, but neither could deny the primal connection.
During 2026 I tried to recover from my early faux pas and build a stronger bond. I knew and understood that she really wanted a full-time, 24/7/365 relationship, but hoped we could find a middle ground. While she stayed resistant to my charms and I harboured hopes, I could cope with the ambiguity - but that was lost in early December. I am not the jealous sort, but I don't share well - just the way I am. She has now visited and stayed with another single Dom at least twice, so backed off.
I miss her. I miss our interaction. But I respect her choice. Submission is a gift that she holds in her hands until she trusts it to another. It is something I would treasure, but it is not something I could or would demand.
I wish her will and hope that I may find another muse in 2026. Recently most interest in my profile has come from submissive men. I am not sure why, other than the number of men on this site? I don't judge, but it is not my thing. The interaction does not reach that beast within.
LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION My Thoughts Sir Hugo Atlanta
In Real Estate, there is a saying Location, Location,
Limiting your Dom Sub SEARCH to folks in your city or state makes verification and meetup so much easier.
THE REALITY IS A Potential dom / sub/ Partner who lives more than 30 miles away is WASTING YOUR EFFORTS.
In my experience, THE BEST PLACE to meet potential partners is at a local munch.Google Search
BDSM Munchs in ATLANTA, GA ( Enter your CITY, STATE )
or use FindaMunch.com
THE REALITY IS those who go to munchs want to meet you and play with you, NOT WASTE YOUR TIME SEXTING.
Your mileage may vary. ( THAT WAS A JOKE- Doms can be light hearted - )
My Thoughts Sir Hugo Atlanta
PS Kudos CollarSpace Management for having a Chatroom as part of the website.
Hooded, cuffed, naked to the waist, he smelled the car, heard the sounds of the engine cooling.
Her smell, that too mingled with the smell of fear in his leather clad nostrils.
The door to the entrance of the townhouse was one step up and forward.
By grabbing his belt and firmly tugging, she lead him up the step. His shoes stumbled, explored and found their footing.
Softly, with a definite and solid thud, the door closed behind him.
The metallic click of the door lock was unmistakable.
An anti room perhaps.
Mud room?
Laundry room?
Utility room?
The floor was ceramic tile.
He realized it when she unbuckled his belt and unfastened his pants.
Without any word of command or explanation, he felt his trousers and shorts pushed to his ankles.
He imagined her face near his naked crotch as he felt her gripping his leg and intuitively understood she wanted his shoes off and one leg at a time his trousers were gone.
Through his socks, he felt the cold hard tile.
He almost lost his balance and fell when he felt her hair brush his inner thigh as she stood up.
He felt himself shiver in the coolness of the room but trickles of sweat ran down each side of his torso from under his armpits.
Suddenly he had the urge to pee.
How would he make her understand?
Unconsciously he began to dance that childish dance of holding back the yellow stream. Cheeky Observation:
Are some men merging the lines between the back-packing hostel lifestyle with submission?
I am noticing men from Europe and India contact me and claim to be submissive.
I also notice they have this assumption they can stay with me in some kind of exchange student lifestyle with no plan as to how they settle in the UK or how they are going to get a job.
No women dominant or submissive wants to deal with that sort of nonesense.
Regardless if your submissive or dominant you can still behave like a decent respectable man.
1. Being submissive does not mean you don't hold manly values
2. It just means lean towards a gentle nature, it does not mean your a freeloading tramp.
If your looking for a back-packing lifestyle please just contact the YMCA, contact some Bistro's looking for extra kitchen staff but don't expect me to be impressed if that is your lifestyle.
Chastity
Chastity strictly speaking is a state of being. The connotation is concerned with purity. In olden times a chaste person was assumed to be free form venereal disease. Further it was thought that person would also have certain character attributes. That their thinking was free of prurient interest was a major attribute. In other terms they did not sexualize things or people.
An individual in locked in a chastity device without orgasm will over time gain the same state of innocence. So yes, My slave property will be kept in chastity. Once this state is entered the slave will find a peace and contentment it may not have recollection of ever entering in its past existence. For some, it will be a state of serenity. Will I allow slaves to live continuously in such bliss? Not likely.
This state of being occurs over time in males after castration. This return to the innocence of prepuberty is the basis for My considering chastity as a form of castration if but temporary and reversible.
Interestingly, if a chastised individual is allowed the pleasure of orgasm and ejaculation it will, over time, return to the sexually obsessed state it may have had prior to the period of denial. This phenomenon marks one of the differences between castration and chastity. The period of time differs from one to another. My experience indicates about six months.
Freeing a slave from whatever sex centered ideation it may have leaves its brain available for service to its Superior Owner. This, of course, is a desirable thing. Therefore, most all of My slave property will be locked in chastity. slave’s period of denial, at least for the first couple of weeks, can be a grueling torturous event. Locking a slave’s cock in an inflexible irremovable cage will over time result in changes the Master finds most desirable.
At least initially. Locked up some ‘male’ penises will try repeatedly and with marginal success to gain erection and relief for its swollen prostate. its mind will become fixated on sexual things and frustration. it may well experience actual pain and mental distress: true anguish. This period may last days or weeks. Sleep for a few nights may be very difficult. Nights will be spent awake, or semi so, with the sexual ideation and unfulfilled need for sexual release. The discomfort of the slave is one of many things that can bring pleasure to Me as a sadist.
After the slave has served Me the blissful state of prepubescence I will start the whole process over again. Milking probably without orgasm will occur. A period of time will elapse with regular sexual release until its old way of thinking with its penis will be established. At some point in time after the establishment, the old chastity cage will be locked on it and it will start the delightful, at least delightful for Me, process over again.
Yes, chastity will occur for female slave as well. Mechanically, with some differences as one might expect.
This is really difficult. And I don't mean being cute or pretty. I'm talking about trying to find somebody. I mean I kind of wanted a female, a woman, but I'm realizing, what would a woman want to do with me? I mean, unless she saw our relationship as some kind of lesbian relationship. But then why invest the time with me? Just get a woman. It isn't like I've been cuckhold now I'm just watching my last relationship have sex with men and we go and get our hair done together. That's a silly dumb fantasy. I don't really expect that ever. So it becomes kind of complicated. Being with a guy, I've been there. It never really works out. Most guys really have no idea. And I don't mean that in a mean way. And yes I've tried, thinking OK I'll be with a guy he can just go be a guy I'll be the girl I'll take care of everything that I need to to be cute and pretty. But oddly enough, it never seems to work out that way. I am submissive and really truly just want to explore more of a relationship as a submissive and feminine. I've done all the hard work myself. I am on estrogen and other feminizing pharmaceuticals. I've actually been surgically castrated, yes, have no balls. But yet I still can't find someone. And yet I still also feel more male than female. Is there really a woman out there that actually enjoys the art of emasculation? And also possibly feminization. I remember a long time ago I was at a bar out here in California, called the Oxwood Inn (I think that was it) and I saw a cute couple. a black woman, clearly the dominant, and a effeminate partner. I started a conversation with her, the dominant, basically asking about their relationship, and if she was together with her. I was quickly explained that yes, they do live together. She was working to turn him into a her in every way. This honestly fascinated me so much so that I still kind of looking for that same relationship. Now I'm sure there are men out there that might be able to do this? I've even gone so far as wondered if possibly I could pay somebody. Make some sort of long-term agreement because I'm sure this isn't gonna happen in a month or three months I would venture to say for complete transition, it's got to be at least a year? But then again what do I know? Acculturation or Training
After inspection there will be a time of acculturation or training. During this time either Master or slave may part company without any reason needed. This period of time may be as short as one month or as long as one year. For slave it would be a great time to discover what it really is and what life style resonates with its innerself. When you decide to approach me for consideration and I trial you, your role & goal is to acquiese to MY lifestyle/desires.
That "previous training" is moot to me. I give subzero fucks about what's easier for you & how you used to do things.
If you're just chasing the feeling you had with someone/something else then you're an addict, shifting the ideal from tacitly serving to satisfying your own urges and desires-- hence why you perpetually fuck up this elusive dynamic you long for. That will never be worth my time and/or effort.
It is MY WAY, no fucking 'or' involved... ever. So, Journals are back. This means i can type things without needing to update my profile, which can take months. So, obviously, first off, i am still trying. Problems stem in that i apparently am not what most are searching for: since i'm ace, i alienate the hookup group. Since i'm not a doormat or service D/s sub (though service can be on the table, if the relationship works), all the subtle abusers of the former and red-tape lovers of the latter are alienated. Since i'm a rubberist, all the naked lovers and naturalists are alienated. And all of that isn't getting into the trans thing. sigh. I’ve been reflecting on past dynamics—especially the ones that carried intensity, structure, and a deep psychological connection.
And over time, something became clear to me.
Some lost sight of the purpose.
They became more focused on punishment than on presence. More attached to the feeling of correction than to the act of truly serving. The dynamic shifted away from alignment… and into fixation.
And that’s not what I want to cultivate.
Because my role, the way I see it, is not to break men down or leave them in a constant state of need.
It’s to guide. To shape. To bring them into alignment with something greater than themselves.
That’s where my philosophy of Goddess and matriarchy truly lives.
A feminine-centered dynamic, at its highest form, is not about chaos or control for its own sake. It’s about order, intention, and a quiet kind of authority that creates structure others can settle into.
Within that structure, the masculine doesn’t disappear—it finds its place. It becomes supportive, focused, and purposeful.
That’s where devotion becomes meaningful.
Not in desperation. Not in obsession with punishment.
But in awareness.
In learning how to show up consistently.In understanding how to listen, how to respond, how to serve in a way that actually contributes to something whole.
I won’t define what this looks like for everyone.
But for me… it has never been about destruction.
It’s about refinement. Guidance. And creating a space where submission is not just felt—but lived with clarity, balance, and intention.
That is where something truly divine begins to take shape.
— Mistress Nikki Vixen Oh friends. What I'm about to describe may change our relationship, but it 100% happened just now and I'm not sharing this story with anyone else.
My puppy woke me a short time ago to go outside. Glancing at the clock and seeing it was 4:30, I didn't do any of the things I would normally do before taking her outside. Her waking me means we need to go now. Yes ma'am, let's go. We get outside and she decides that dandelions are interesting and this patch of grass tastes divine, and so on, as she does sometimes leading up to her business. She has a flare for the dramatic, like her momma. Meanwhile, I've had to pee since the moment she woke me. All the way down what felt like ten thousand stairs, through every moment of her moseying outside, I. Have. To. Pee. And I'm not going to make it back to the house.
Chances are if you're reading this you are genetically male (is that the correct term?) and so you would just pull up a patch of grass and unzip. Not having that luxury I faced my two options. Either I could wet my pants, or I could squat and tinkle. Friends, I really tried to use all of those downstairs muscles to make it back to the house. Truly I did. But it wasn't going to happen and I did laundry earlier today. So I did the unthinkable. I moved to a spot less lit. I slid my pajama pants down a bit. I squatted. And I peed. I'm sure someone's door camera caught it, or maybe someone out for a walk. Hopefully it was just me and my puppy. And now you. It's our secret, okay? Hey ,
Single guys if your going hit me up , you should read the profile. While I do enjoy a masculine sub , you need to be in shape and submissive. Also if you dont like mutual oral, kissing . I'm not for you .
Hi
I'm looking locally for a person (s) to have regular lunch dates or coffee date here in NYC Manhattan or Brooklyn ..
A nice restaurant conversation and see where it goes . No pressure at all.
I'll send a recent face photo to anyone who inquires once we are comfortable phone number and face time to verify .
I am searching for a possible 3rd s-type person to add to my life.
If you are a cis male it is strictly service based and it would be every other week. Must be local and live nearby.
If you are a cis female I am open to a d/s dynamic if a connection is made. While I like women I need to have a mental/physical connection to be in a relationship with them.
Please read all of my journal entries before contacting me. There are more pics and additional information about me on my Fetlife profile. https://fetlife.com/users/497253 Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts
For the last two months I've been packing and unpacking everything I own. I've had a new home built and have been setting it up. Today is the first day I have had the time to set down and clear my mind. I have been reading a member's journal all day until my battery has died. I'm going to steal one of her lines and put it in my journal. I would love to find that kind of relationship where she is like butter and I am like warm toast, we melt into one. At night she backs into my arms and I hold her, tight to let her know I have her, when I roll over she instinctively snuggles up behind me like she has my back at night. This can only be achieved with totaly open and honest communication about what we both want and need from each other. TRUST.
Feeling my arms getting locked tightly behind my back with leather straps. Wrists first, then my elbows. Bit by bit loosing more and more freedom..
I revel in the feeling of slowly having my freedom stripped away. That moment when realization strikes that I'm truly caught and defenseless. Completely at the mercy of another...
Just thinking about it is enough to make my heart go BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
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have been a real Sub-Slave for many years. I am real disappointed in the lack of real Masters on this site.
