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penandknife
Hetero Female, 33, Beaverton, Oregon 
penandknife

Have you ever had that perfect pair of jeans? It fits perfectly, makes your ass look GREAT. However, time passes, and they rip at the crotch, or just don't fit anymore, and you have to go out and find a new pair of jeans. But the new jeans just... aren't as perfect.

 

I really liked my previous profile text. I suppose I like the photos well enough still, so I'll leave 'em up. Not like my looks change much, unless I'm wearing my glasses or have changed my haircolor again. I like dyeing my hair.

 

I also really like people! Please don't be shy about randomly asking me questions; chances are I'll get back to you, as long as you observe the following:

  • No penis photos, please. If I wanted photos of random penes, I'd be looking on Craigslist. It's a veritable penis buffet! So much sausage!
  • Please, please make at least some attempt at proper grammar and spelling. I can only take off my writer/editor hat so much. After a point, I end up spending more time editing messages than being able to respond to them. It's terribly frustrating. (That said, I can survive texting with my 16 year old cousin, so I'm not asking for much.)
  • I honestly find diving straight into talking about my kinks and fantasies a bit uncomfortable, unless I'm talking to someone I already know. Foreplay, please! Conversational foreplay, such as "so, what's your favorite Rush song" or "how many years now have you had a crush on David Bowie?!?"
  • THAT SAID, non-personal questions about kinks are certainly welcome. Asking my opinions on existing as a feminist who is also into 50s household kink is perfectly groovy. Asking me if I want to put on an apron and service you isn't. Unless, of course, I've already given the go-ahead for those questions!
  • If I've hit you with a random question or recently looked at your profile, it doesn't automatically mean I want to see your genitalia or hook up. It means something caught my eye; nothing more, nothing less. If you're curious, I'd be happy to discuss with you why you caught my eye.
  • I'm not actively seeking a relationship. No, really. I just don't have the time for a relationship. I put a lot of work into mine when I'm in one, and that's just not something I can do right now!

All that said, here's a tl;dr overview of me:

 

I'm a single mom of two working full-time in the tech field for one of the leading businesses in my field. When I have off-time, I also have an artist hat (I love painting and drawing), a writer hat (I have a co-writer that I work with), and an I'm-bored-what-can-I-do-now hat that occasionally has me cooking, crocheting, reading (something I tend to do more of than I really should, I think, but booooooks), slowly killing plants, slowly saving plants, rescuing kittens (no really, I have two fosters I'm hand-raising at the moment), playing a war-themed hat simulator, or wasting time on the internet.

 

Fuck yeah Oxford commas. Vampire Weekend is just okay.

 

Anyway, if I get asked any particularly interesting questions, I'll add them (with the answers, of course) to my profile. Why the hell not?

 

 

2/18/2013 5:12:13 PM: Ha ha wow 3 years. It's been a while!   I'm glad I stopped back in on a whim. I had forgotten how charming I found this site, as well as the people on it. I'm sad to see that a few of my friends are no longer around here. Hope they're happy!   Well, rather than hang around making insipid chirping noises, I'm gonna go blindside some poor fella with a question, then do offline-ish sort of things. Funny how people need things like food to survive.   eta: oy, nice to know the text editor is the same POS editor as it has always been. Thbbpt, not even CKEditor gets wysiwyg right all the time. If there were ever an area where I'm impossible to please, it's wysiwyg editors. Haaaaaate.

6/15/2009 10:51:26 PM: It's a strange sort of night.I suppose the past four days of forced R&R have been good for me.  It was admittedly quite a treat to be able to kick back and relax, enjoying the company of very close friends and people I had just met who might, with time, become friends.  No work, no broken car, no offspring.I'm home now, though.  Things are settling back in.Part of me wishes I could just live in one particular moment from this weekend.  I was sitting on a lounge chair on my friend's porch, watching the sun set through some clouds behind the treeline.  It was warm, the perfect mild warmth of an early summer evening.  For a few blissful minutes, my mind quieted completely, and I felt simply a part of the world around me.  There was nothing except the breeze, my body, and the sounds of life around me.  Perfection.As I lie here (geek that I am, I have a laptop next to my bed that also pulls duty as my alarm clock and my emergency notepad), I can think back on that moment, and almost recall it well enough to feel that peace again.  I can't entirely, though.  I'm not sure what it is about my home versus that porch, but I can't quite manage to put aside everything and simply exist like that.

6/12/2009 1:06:56 AM: The Lebaron Chronicles 4 - You Get What You Pay For... And Then SomeLet me start off by saying something very important.  If you value your car, do not take it to a major chain to get your maintenance done.  I'm talking about places like Pep Boys, Jiffy Lube, Oil Can Henry's, etc.  Take it to a local mechanic.  Ask around for recommendations (and if you want a really informed opinion, ask a tow truck driver or the guys at NAPA).  It's worth it.So.  You get what you pay for.  That can refer to the fact that I bought a $400 car, it can refer to the fact that I went against my own advice and took the car to Jiffy Lube for a quickie, or it can refer to the trials of being a self-taught mechanic.I knew my car had issues when I bought it, but it's been quite amazing to watch the repairs stack up.  One thing gets fixed, and five new issues crop up.  The leaking coolant which might have just been a hose became a likely heater core replacement has become a definite major leak involving the water pipe between the water pump and the heater... and still possibly the heater core and/or heater hoses.For added fun, the leak became rather explosive rather suddenly, dumping ALL of the coolant in one horrifying gush while on the freeway.  The engine almost instantly overheated.  Yep, add in head gasket replacement to the to-do list...If you're feeling froggy, feel free to look up the procedures for getting to the water pump and the head gasket in a Mitsubishi 3.0L V6.  This is going to be my life once I get back from my trip this weekend.Oh, also, I apparently need to replace my fuel line as well as the fuel filter.Joy.On one hand, all of these repairs are going to be a BITCH.  On the other... $47 for the heater core (returnable if the current one turns out to be OK), head gaskets are pretty cheap, and none of the heater hoses are particularly expensive, either.  It's really the labor that's the worst part... replacing the core alone would cost me $600+ if I had a shop do it (parts + about 6 hours labor).  My labor is relatively free to me.  (Thank goodness I seem to be rather mechanically inclined.)In the end, I guess it's not that bad.  I'm pissed that I have to get a rental this weekend, but it could have been worse.Also, fuck Jiffy Lube.  Fuck them, and fuck Pacific Car Care (bunch of dicks, seriously, and they overcharge on parts and labor).OH OH OH OH WAIT Pacific Car Care.  They're special enough to warrant their own paragraph.  Not only were they dickish BEFORE I started talking to them about the car, they tried to tell me that I would have to take out my dash to replace my heater core with this huge "this job is too complicated for you MISSY" attitude.  WHAT.  I pointed out that no, that's actually not the case... you get to it by removing the A/C and undoing a couple of bolts, and the dude at the counter just looked at his computer screen and changed the subject.  He didn't look at me the rest of the time I was there, and was just generally acting like a huge prick. But yeah, several people I talked to over the rest of the day (a couple of tow truck drivers and a few people at uh places that know different auto shops) mentioned that they never hear anything good about that place, and that they overcharge like crazy and are dicks to EVERYONE.On the other hand, I cannot sing enough praises for the guys at NAPA on Lombard.  Seriously, they've been great to me (and they see me at least once a week now), they're always really helpful, and best of all?  They don't assume I'm an utter nitwit just because I sport a pair of tits and have hair almost to my ass.  They treat me with respect, and are willing to intelligently discuss repair issues with me when I have questions or concerns.  Much love for those guys, seriously.

6/6/2009 12:11:46 AM: I actually went and posted that bit from earlier on Craigslist... with quite a bit in addition.  I'll have to make a note of any good responses I get.  It's long and kind of meandering, but was fun to write!I'm starting to think I have a teensy streak of attention whore in me.  Kind of funny, considering I'm naturally pretty damned shy about seeking attention and try to avoid being in the spotlight.

6/4/2009 12:47:46 AM: And on a non-car-squee note, I managed to trap myself on my yoga ball today.  It was a proud moment for my family line, let me tell you.  From now on, I'm not doing any exercises without pulling my hair up first!  I'm pretty sure it was hilarious to see (my roommate nearly peed herself laughing), what with me bent over backwards on top of the ball, which was in turn rolled over most of my hair, and there I am on top of it grasping my medicine ball and staring at the wall upside down with a nice "WHAT THE FFFFF?" expression.Pity she didn't snap a picture.  I bet that would have made an awesome addition to my profile pics.

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