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Pan Female Dominant, 45,  Lincoln, Nebraska
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Friends:
Lincolnbiguy05

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Iam a person who enjoys being Dominant. I am who I am, and who I am is the result of an ongoing evolution. Im not really into roleplaying except when were playing twue and that is more for the sake of comedy than drama.Im a real person living in the real world that ultimately rules us all. Im very cerebral. I have an obedience kink. I can be terribly silly at times. I have a lot of facets.I enjoy talking to people and making friends. I have been a friendmentorconfidante to many over the years, especially newer submissives, and its something I like very much with those who are truly interested in discussing BDSM and life in general. Ive been involved in BDSM to varying degrees for nearly 20 years. Its been an interesting journey, but Im pretty happy with the way things have turned out so far.If youre curious and want to talk then by all means, dropme a line. I dont play well with people looking to cheat or people who want masturbatory fodder, but otherwise Im pretty laid-back and easy to talk to.

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State:

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Age:

Sexuality:

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Joined:

 Imajican

 Dominant Female

 Lincoln 

 Nebraska

 5' 10"

 45

 Pan

 Caucasian

 08/06/07

 

Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

Male Slave/sub

Switch Women

Switch Male

Friends

 Lives For:

 Training you to be completely
obedient to me and only me

 Loves:

 You begging

 You worshiping my breasts

 Rear End Play (Expert)

 Hair Pulling

 Humiliation

 Complete control over your orgasms (Expert)

 Spanking you

 Card Games

 Puzzle Games

 Intellectual Discourse

 Psychology

 Lifestyle BDSM

 Polyamory

 Likes:

 Coffee Shops

 Volunteerism

 Bicycling

 Walking

 Weightlifting

 Blindfolding you

 Tying you up

 Disciplining you with a cane

 Keeping you locked in tamper evident chastity at all times

 Collaring you

 Local BDSM Community

 Gags

 Hoods

 You at the end of my leash

 Treating you like an object

 Sensation Play

 You servicing me with your mouth

 Sensory Play

 Dominating you with a strap-on

 Whips

 Board Games

 True Crime

 TV News

 Beading

 Gardening

 Meditation

 Photography

 Astronomy

 Blogging

 Liberal Politics

 Nutrition

 Philosophy

 Writing

 Nineties Music

 Oldies

 Rock Music

 Buddhism

 Hinduism

 Football

 Curious About:

 Body Art

 Tattoos

 Dislikes:

 Foot Worship

 Hates:

 Gor

 Hard Limits:

 Diapers

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Journal Entries:
1/24/2023 10:46:48 AM

I am not looking for a) relationships with married men, b) relations with anyone more than 10 years older, c) international relationships d) online-only relationships.

Life has reached a point where these things are not viable for me. Having friends is fine and good, but I only have so much time. Since it's impossible to update profiles, I am putting this here. Thanks for understanding.


2/9/2018 7:09:27 PM
I've moved profiles to be consistent between CS and FL. Should've done it years ago, but I've had this profile a long time. Anyway, check me at Kitalyst. Thanks.

1/23/2018 7:58:07 PM
My head hurts. Sigh.

1/23/2018 6:31:55 AM
I'm not sure what I'm doing, but somehow I'm doing it wrong, apparently.

1/18/2018 8:43:20 PM
I guess I better watch out saying "pro tip" since someone may think I mean I'm a pro. Hah. I don't think enough people bother reading this stuff anyway...

1/18/2018 5:37:10 AM
Pro tip #27 If you maintain multiple profiles, make sure the basic facts match. Example: If you're different ages on different sites, someone like me is going to ask what the truth is, especially when they're several years different. You should be able to answer questions like this quickly, and without hesitation. If you "dance" you're lying. See below. Pro tip #28 When you lie, quality Dominants stop talking to you. Anyone in their right mind should, especially if you're lying about stupid little crap. It's a insult to one's intelligence, so cut it out.

1/17/2018 9:00:56 PM
Landmark day here on CS. Called a cunt and fibbed to. Quality work, guys. For those of you who don't behave that way, these are the people who are out there representing your kink. Stellar stuff. Yeah.

1/4/2018 10:51:56 PM
I know I'm sometimes slow to reply to messages that I have every intention of replying to, but I boggle completely at people who message me without looking at my profile, whom I then reply to (happens now and then, if they seem interesting, though I don't really care for this order of operations), just to have them then decide to look at my profile and not fucking reply to my message. . . FFS, don't send a message to anyone whose profile you have not read! Don't send stupid generic form letter! They don't work for finding jobs, and they won't work for finding a relationship. Good grief. For any of you decent people whom I've talked to, or something has slipped, by all means, if you want to talk (or still want to), hit me up. I still prefer other avenues than exchanging emails here, but you have to start somewhere, right?

1/1/2018 9:59:10 PM
Happy 2018. So, that thing that was maybe going to happen? He found god instead. Good for him.

12/25/2017 10:16:48 PM
Merry Xmas and all that. Technically I missed the window for the 25th. I hope the age playing baby Jesus will forgive me :) I guess my options remain open. We'll see what 2018 brings. . .

12/1/2017 5:21:08 PM
I'm around, but not really available. I am optimistic. Perhaps foolish. We'll see.

11/10/2017 10:51:57 AM
Chat doesn't work via mobile devices (at least not on mine.)

Sorry, fellas. You'll just have to compose a witty, engaging message. Pro tip, "hey" and the similar don't apply.

11/4/2017 11:27:12 AM
Just as a recap, since it's been asked a couple times lately, I'm "single" but I'm 1. Polyamorous, 2. I have a sub of 10 years who is English and visits 2x a year. 3. No, I'm not ever going to be monogamous with anyone. 4. I don't compartmentalize my relationships. He knows who I date, and I talk about him. I share my life with the people who are in it. It's not an intended affront to anyone. 5. No, it's not a cuck dynamic. 6. No, I do not want you as a cuck, because cuck dynamics are very, very high-maintenance and I don't have time to serve your needs. 7. Man, I got off track, but good talk. Glad we chatted...

10/31/2017 4:38:59 PM
Dear sissies: I'm not into sissies. I'm sure you're great, but I'm just not that into you. No h8, -K-

7/20/2017 11:43:43 AM
If you're on Fetlife you'll find me there as Kitalyst. I haven't used Imajican as an active nickname for a very long time, but CS doesn't let you change it, and I'd rather not start over again.

4/22/2017 12:22:07 AM
Please don't bother messaging me if your profile picture is of your dick, caged or not. Do you greet people on the street with that as a first impression? I'm pretty sure not since you'd not be here if so. Honestly I'd much rather talk to somebody with no profile picture than meeting their penis first. 

In addition, I'm not into sissification. I have been friends with some MTF types and trans people, but if you want to be dolled up and made to look silly, that's just not my kink. I don't find normative feminine things to be humiliating on their own. I have had some very hot encounters with girly boys, but that's not because they were wearing a wig and lipstick.

Thanks a bunch.

11/17/2008 4:31:09 PM

The boy gets here in 4 days. How wonderful is that *grin*

Life is crazy some times. The fact that he and I have been going strong for 17 months is remarkable, especially when the vast, vast majority of that time has been spent at a very long distance.

*happy sigh*


7/3/2008 5:08:29 PM

Please, pleasepleaseplease, for the love of all that is, well, something... it's DOMINANT, not DOMINATE.

(Oh it deserved all-caps. Yes. It. Did.)

Example: I dominate at being dominant.

Gah, I think this particular mistake is more rampant around here than "loose" is for people trying to lose something.


6/10/2008 5:28:21 PM
Dear "submissive" men (primarily),

Stop being so pushy. Stop constantly asking what's next, what now, when can I have/do this or that or the other. Learn to embrace that if your partner (Top/Dominant/whatever) knows what you want, they'll give it to you or allow you it when they want to, not when you want it. If everything was played into your hand then you're just Topping from below (but not in the delightful manner Laura Reese wrote in her book of the same name.)

Here's a clue, topping from below isnt at all sexy or pleasing or anything. If you want that, go pay somebody to "Domme" you. They'll play into your hand and give you just what you seek. I will not. I won't be the person you talk to just so you can have something to wank over later (that is if you aren't doing it just then.) I won't give you what you want just because you think I'm stupid enough not to know what you're trying to do.

Sorry, but if you want somebody to manipulate then you're barking up the wrong Domme.

Some days I think I've collared the only actual submissive male out there. I can go on and on about all the things he's never done that so many of you do on a consistent basis.

Being a submissive is not about saying "here I am so you can do to me just what I want you to do how I want you to do it" it's about saying you have these desires and finding somebody who gets off on exploiting and controlling the way in which those desires are fulfilled. Dominants aren't stupid to what you want, or at least they shouldn't be if they're paying any attention. Of course some 'Dominants' could probably care less what a 'submissive' wants since they just want a body to handle just like the subs want something to wank over.

Try porn next time. That way you can hit pause whenever you like.

5/25/2008 12:27:43 AM
The boy's out of town for a few days (even if it is textual 'town' at current) and during his time away it's been refreshing my disenchantment with the state of so-called 'submissives'.

I don't think the few I talk to here and there are really players, per se, they just don't seem to understand the idea of acutally submitting and being obedient.

I guess I have an obedience kink, or something. Heh. 

5/24/2008 10:35:02 AM
So, yeah. Life.

I collared my boy when he came to visit in April. This is pretty remarkable since I'd never felt compelled to do that with anyone, before. He was here for two wonderful weeks. *le sigh*

Right now my life is very streamlined relationship-wise. I have Num and the boy. My guys. Easy peasy and oh so happy with exception of the whole "Atlantic Ocean being in the way" thing. I'm going to England at the end of July to spend a couple weeks with him. This is very exciting... except for that whole "flying over the Atlantic Ocean" thing. Heh.

Whee :)


12/25/2007 12:29:55 AM

Polyness Update: Keeping Tabs in the Land of Kita


Other than marital involvement I am currently involved with two people: minion (the maso) with whom I am primarily a guide in many things non-sexual as well as occasionally delivering pain to her in one form or another, and my boy with whom I control in every way sexual (but unfortunately it's done at quite a distance as he's still a few thousand miles away from where I am.)

Things with my/our other partner have receded back to friendship where I imagine they'll stay for quite some time. I am quite content with this since our foundation as friends had never fully been reconstructed even during the months she lived with us. Some things I may still take as they come, but doing that doesn't work with her, or at least for me with her.
I am determined to embrace that just because I think I can do somebody good doesn't mean I should bring them into my life, especially when doing so results in shorting myself of what I truly want. It's ok to be selfish sometimes as long as I'm honest about it and don't mislead people. Even though I know this it's still hard to do at times, especially when doing so leads to hurt feelings.


12/25/2007 12:11:53 AM
Merry ho-ho and the like.

Some days I wonder how I am going to find the path that leads the way to what I think I want in life. I have a feeling for this path, but there are a lot of roadblocks between here and there. I'm cleaning them up one by one, but others aren't so easy to deal with.

I occasionally wish that I could be content with a simple life, complete with picket fence and doting spouse. That seems somewhat pointless now and has generally been abandoned since I'm just not made for that world. The thing is, I can see what I want in my mind. It's so vivid and seems attainable, but getting from here to there is likely to be a long, arduous journey.

11/18/2007 10:56:41 AM
So the house is once again down to just Num and myself (oh, and our 5 cats, of course.)

Our one partner-type has moved into her apt. for the most part. So begins finding the next pattern on how this 'household' will pan out. It's different not having her right here, but in the long run this is probably for the best.
The minion is having fairly major surgery in early Dec which will also take some sorting out since she will need extra help until she's more mobile. With three other people nearby who can contribute to this I think it'll be ok, though.


9/27/2007 1:31:44 AM
I guess it'd be good to make it clear on here that I am currently part of a poly "household" or "family" (or "unit" or...or...or.) CM allows you to select "Joining a Poly Household" but let it be known that I won't be joining any household outside of my own.

I officially only reside with my spouse although currently one of the two other members is residing with us until she finds her own apartment. She's only been living in this state for a couple months and needs some time to get settled. The fourth member lives about five minutes away in her own apartment.

I don't know that any member of my "family" will ever live with us. Having a poly family doesn't require cohabitation, but I think it does require some degree of connectedness. I think having everybody get along socially as a group is important in keeping everybody on the level. I value group time as well as one-on-one and individual time.

Finally, as odd as it may be, in my heart there is another group member who has never even set foot in my house. He lives far too far away, but I miss his presence even though he's never been here. I have a feeling he will be with me some day, though.


9/25/2007 10:29:40 PM
Topic: Passion

Dear submissives (this is becoming a PSA blog, just for the lot of *you*),


Find some passion, please. I beg of you (no, not really, so don't start getting accusative with me), think about why you're here and what you want from it. What do you have to offer? Why should somebody want to be with you? Relationships, even BDSM-oriented and originated relationships, require two people working together towards something. Whether that something be an orgasm or a full-blown commitment, they have to have some objective.


Having the desire to serve is not tangible (not that any sentiment is.) "I want to be of use" does not answer anything. To me this only means you're available to anyone for anything, and let me tell you, that's not how happiness is generally formed.

So please, have at least a vague idea of what you want from your Dominant. Have an idea of what you have to offer, and what you want or need in return. In the long run the process will be far more satisfying for you both.

9/9/2007 4:06:18 AM
Dear submissives:

Worthlessness is unattractive. If you think you are worthless, please look somewhere else since I'm certainly not the Domme for you.


I believe in helping to empower people, so if you're a bit down and you need some guidance and support, that's different. If you think you're nothing but scum under my stereotypically ever-present boot, and you want no position other than that, go find one of those far more common hater-Dommes. I'd rather appreciate you for being an alluring, sexy, desirable creature that chooses to give me control of something rather than wanting to be despised and hated.


 Sincerely,
 -K-
 

8/13/2007 2:55:17 AM

Since I don't see that CM has an option for this anywhere (why not, I've no idea), let it be known that I am, indeed, married. No, he's not my sub (nor is he my Dom or anything of that nature.) Yes, he knows of my interests and involvements. No, we aren't "swingers" and we don't have an "open" marriage. Personally I don't equate being polyamorous with having an "open" relationship since the latter just has an air of 'free and easy' and really that's not how I approach things.


That said, the most I ask of anyone I'm involved with to any capacity is that they try to be friendly with the other people in my life. I like when everybody can get along socially and work toward a common goal. Even though the people I'm with aren't all replicas of each other, I believe at their core they're similar enough to get along well. Given the way things have gone so far, this has been true. It's a trend I wish to nurture. 


8/7/2007 4:56:08 PM
So the question presents itself: What it is about for most people, power or looks? Sure it might be something else altogether, but at the end of the day people have some ideal in their minds.

When you close your eyes, what do you see? Or do you feel it? Is it an abstraction or a clear vision or concept? There's always the choice of both, or choosing A with some exception for B. Not many things in life are so black and white as to not have exceptions.

Personally I take power over looks. Subjectively I take the look, sound, sense, and mental and physical state-of-being of the person being controlled over the look of just any particular person.

As always, though, I'm quite content to stay firmly seated in the grey.

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