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Elorin
Pan Female Dominant, 46, San Antonio, Texas 
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Elorin

All initial emails with less than three sentences, or missing capitalization and punctuation, are deleted and the sender blocked.

I am a switch. I have not bottomed or submitted since 2016, but if you cannot handle your dominant or top taking the bottom side I am not the one for you.
I am NOT looking for a dominant or top, hence identifying my profile as a domme. I do not reply to dominants or tops looking to dominate or top me.
 
I am polyamorous. I live with my wife Raine. She is aware of this profile and what I am looking for. She and I are play partners working back toward a power exchange that ended during the worst of the isolation because of COVID.
 
I am not looking for an Ms relationship or an Op relationship. If you self identify as a slave we are not compatible. I am not a female supremacist and I do not practice TPE.
 
If you are younger than 24 please do not apply.
 
What I AM looking for are local play partners, lovers, and or submissives. Local means in or around San Antonio. I am not looking for someone to relocate, move in with me, or play with me while they are visiting San Antonio.
 
My ideal submissive is service oriented and open to a variety of play styles and techniques, and open to trying new things. My ideal play partner has interest in multiple kinds of play and enjoys intense play and receiving pain.
 
Giving cunnilingus is a soft limit. Receiving cunnilingus is not high on my priorities list, although it can be lovely. I LOVE dildo play and fisting. I have reservations about strap-on harnesses.
 
If you are not in the San Antonio, TX area regularly, don't contact me as a potential submissive or play partner. I don't "play" online and I have no interest in choreographing elaborate scenes for you to act out on webcam to fulfill your fetishes. I am living my flesh life and I don't have time for an online life. Friendship and conversation are welcome, but no leading questions trying to get me to provide fap fodder.
 
My dance card is sometimes (over)full but that's the way I like it. There IS room in my life for a full time submissive should I come across one who is compatible with me.
 
The remainder of my profile remains intact from before:
 
I find minds sexy more often than I find bodies sexy, though I can certainly appreciate a sexy body! I love intelligence and learning, enjoy teaching what I know and learning from others, be they friend, lover, submissive, Dominant, switch, or myriad role identities.
 
I'm open to finding kinky friends who can hang out at home with or without play, play partners who share my interests, lovers, or submissives. Or all of the above. A poly pansexual service oriented submissive who likes edgy as well as everyday play, can take intense pain and get satisfaction from it, and wants to serve a BBW Domme would be great. ~Santa, here's my list, no, I'm not holding my breath.~
 
Micro e-mails are a pet peeve of mine. Write an e-mail with at least three sentences. But don't send me a novella either - it takes getting to know someone before I'm motivated to read something overly long. One or two paragraphs is great. You could tell me what you liked about my profile, why you are writing (friendship, submission, playing, learning?), tell me a little bit about yourself.
 
I'm looking for a submissive that gets fulfillment from both service and play. I'd like to find one whose mind and body both attract me. I want to find a submissive and/or play partner who loves to explore, who loves lots of kinds of play, who finds intensity and connection sexy and hot and gets a lot from the connection in a scene not just what type of play is being done. I want to find someone who is up for light spanking and tickle play one day, and a wicked caning another, who can handle flames licking across their skin and delight in it just as much as a tongue's caress. I want someone who can play light and silly as well as deep and intense, who can enjoy something as mundane as a spanking while still being open to trying hot, sexy, edgy, rough shit.
 
But it's not all about play. I want a submissive who gets along well with me, who is a delightful conversational partner, who is intelligent and sometimes witty. I would love to find a submissive who helps me with my flaws and supports me in my own goals as much as they work to improve themselves and make me proud they are mine, to be in my service. I want a submissive who is willing to help out, whether it is helping me fold laundry and dry dishes or brainstorming a website design. Gimme gimme! A submissive who loves to learn! A submissive who loves to serve! A submissive who loves to play! A submissive who loves letting go of control! A submissive who is self aware, practices self honesty, and communicates clearly! I'm not interested in someone whose ONLY interaction with me is for BDSM, or for play, or for sex. I want to find someone who can become a part of my life, who feels comfortable joining me for vanilla hangout time, sexy snuggle time, as well as kinky dress up and play time.
 
But that doesn't fully describe it either. I want to find someone who feels that submission is about more than doing chores or taking a good beating. Where is that mind hiding that WANTS to be told to do something disagreeable, because submitting is sometimes about doing what you DON'T like. A submissive who knows saying "I don't like that" is a way of giving me more control. That it doesn't mean I won't do it any more, it just means when I do it I will do it DELIBERATELY!! Are you out there, craving someone who isn't afraid to deny the things you like just to watch you squirm and make you beg for them? Where is the submissive who loves high protocol as well as casual time? Where is the submissive who can make offering to take my plate into the kitchen touch my heart? Where is the submissive who isn't ashamed to kiss my feet in front of friends, who wants to be the best they can be so that I can be proud to own them? Are you out there, unready to give everything to a stranger, but wanting to let go and give up control, incrementally, as trust develops?
 

Read my journal entries to learn a bit about me. This is long already, so I won't start trying to describe who I am, but if you'd like to know, ask and I'll probably answer.

12/25/2023 2:55:23 PM: My journal is fixed?   Happy Holidays to all! May you find the partner(s) that help you feel satisfied and complete, may you find what you seek.

12/15/2023 7:04:06 PM: Started to feel lightheaded and had to end my scene early. My play partner was completely understanding and I can't wait to play with him again. Is it kinder to block and delete, or to reply to a patently incompatible inquiry with 'Can you read? Did you read?' 11.18.2023 My new journal entry option has disappeared. My only choice is to edit existing entries. 11.23.2023 Happy Thanksgiving. Remembering what I am thankful for. 12.15.2023 When you message someone, tell them why. Declaring what you might have in common is a start, but follow up with how you want to be friends or you are hoping to get to know me. Otherwise you're likely to get a good for you and a big fat block. You're reaching out to me, remember?

9/8/2023 4:11:19 PM: Not that anyone reads these journals but... My first sentence on my profile states my requirements. Three or more sentences with punctuation and grammar. There's no need for perfect spelling, immaculate punctuation, or the Oxford comma. I'm well aware of the filters collarspace uses on email and I know that is out of your control. But at least try. It's obvious if you didn't try. Periods aren't filtered out. Grammar speaks for itself. So if you want a response, try. Because if it doesn't look like you tried? I will block you and delete your message. If you write a lovely email about relocating to me? I will respond then block you and delete your message. And if you send me a nasty note because of what is in my profile? Then block me? I will make sure you are blocked and then thank you out loud for saving me the effort. Ms. Elorin 

9/8/2023 4:03:25 PM: Dear male doms, Yes, I mean you, too. Pleasant as you may be, an email with less than three sentences is blocked then deleted. I'm not picking up what you're putting down. Short sentences with punctuation count. Thank you for the compliments. Here's your block. Ms. Elorin 

9/4/2023 6:35:37 PM: I'm an open book! Ask me anything! It seems on the surface to be a very friendly declaration. Maybe you think 'Wow, anything!? How brave!' And perhaps they are being brave and truly would answer any question put to them. But my experience is different. When someone says 'ask me anything,' their contribution to getting to know each other frequently stops there except for answering direct questions asked of them. There is frequently no sharing of 'more' or stories of 'Oh, when that happened to me...' Instead the only things I learn are the things I ask directly. Which shifts the emotional burden of getting to know each other from 'US' to 'ME.' And later on, if I didnt know something, the blame shifts to me for not having the forethought to ask, rather than it being on them for not volunteering relevant information, or better yet shared blame for not getting to know each other better before XYZ. My first marriage was to a man that I believe was and still is a compulsive liar. And one thing he did that was excruciating to me was NEVER volunteer information. It was a method of CYA (Cover Your Ass) so that if he had to cover something up, the less that was known the fewer things he had to cover or sweep under the rug. Trying to get information out of him was like pulling teeth. So I admit, when I see 'I'm an open book!' I have a knee jerk reaction, but it is not solely based on the experience with my ex-husband. I have dealt with more than a handful of people with that mantra both online and off over the years and for the most part, they have similar traits. No volunteering information, only answer if asked, no sharing about experiences spontaneously, and only share as much information as necessary to cover the question. My advice (unsolicited, worth what you pay for it) if you use one of these phrases and you are sincerely trying to be open and brave, is this: 1.) Find another way to word it. Saying you are an open book triggers a knee jerk reaction in more people than just me. 2.) Take the time to realize what you would like to know about a potential partner in early getting to know each other stages 3.) Be prepared to offer the same information about yourself without waiting to be asked each specific piece of information before you share it. What this may look like: Hi I'm Elorin. 'Hi, I'm Jim. Can you tell me a little about yourself?' Well, you found me on FetLife so you know I'm kinky. I've been into kink for over 20 years, I consider myself a Dominant Sadistic leaning switch and I like canes. You don't have to tell everything at one question. But you don't have to make them dig for pieces of information, either. I didn't volunteer information about my relationship status, the number of pets I have, or my sexual orientation. You can give that information as it comes up. But don't be of the mindset that you need to hoard your information anymore than that each question needs a two page info dump. Pace yourself, be open, and share equal and similar information to what someone shares with you. My $0.02 ~Me

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Sweetvictoria35
 
 Submissive, Age:  18
 Joplin, Missouri
dating
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