12/26/2012 8:51:06 PM: At an End-of-the-World Solstice Party, where everybody was partying like it’s 1999, someone asked me what it is like to have an astrology chart that is ruled by Venus. What a loaded question! I got as far as answering: “Venus ruling the 1st House in a chart tends to give a person good luck in the looks department, because the 1st House rules the physical body and one’s general appearance.”  I didn’t get a chance to say the rest of what I needed to, though -- so I’ll complete my answer here.  Venus ruling the chart also tends to give the native a good fashion sense, in both personal adornment and home furnishings. She brings artistic gifts, too: Look to her sign placement and interactions with other planets, to determine whether that artistry will take the form of music, painting, sculpture, dance, etc. By luck of the draw, my daughter and I both have Rising Signs ruled by Venus. She has one (Libra), I have the other (Taurus). The differences between Taurus and Libra are instructive. For instance, she was a stunner from the get-go; I did not become a full-fledged knockout until my 40s.    But Venus can be a tricky dame -- her blessings are a double-edged sword. What Venus wants above all, is to connect with other people. She has the capacity to bring much happiness . . . but may give away too much to get it. She gives us lots of desires -- she IS desire -- but our drive to fulfill those desires may cost us a higher price than is reasonable. She can be very disruptive and chaotic that way.  The Libran Achilles Heel is being overly concerned about other people’s perception of them, and trying to mold oneself to satisfy public opinion. That way lies madness; you can’t please all the people all the time. Many people struggle with feeling terrible because someone else finds them lacking, but the Librans run an even greater risk of losing their sense of self. Their hardest lesson is learning that the only person they really need to please is themselves -- and stick to it.  That said, the Libran reputation for fairness, making sure everyone’s values are honored, often makes them great leaders. When they make a decision, they have considered all the angles, far better than most people. The hard part is actually getting them to make a decision and then act on it.  The Taureans’ self-esteem is less likely to be dependent on other people’s opinions; they have a great capacity for internal contentment. (Think of Ferdinand the Bull, who just loved to smell the flowers.) But like the Librans, they too have that longing for connection with other people. As long as there is promise of reward or payoff, they will hang in there -- hence their reputation for both patience and possessiveness. They have a hard time recognizing when it really isn’t worth it: they will stay in an unhealthy relationship far longer than they should.   Taureans have to be very careful to not let their principles slide, for the sake of maintaining the connection with someone they’ve made a huge emotional investment in. The biggest mistakes I’ve ever made in my life, happened because I allowed a man to talk me into going along with courses of action that went against my better judgment.  Unconditional love, where no reciprocation is necessary, is more of a Moon quality. It is appropriate in the parent-child relationship. But adult relationships are based on mutually beneficial agreements. If we are giving more to the relationship than we are getting out of it, it won’t be long before it starts to feel like abuse.  Venus is the part of us that wants to be happy. We all have her somewhere, not just the Venus-ruled signs. We all want what we want. It’s natural to want things. If we have full awareness of how Venus is giving us these desires, we will not pay too high a price for our happiness.

12/23/2012 4:28:47 PM: Frustrated by not being able to secure a DVD of the 1926 'Scarlet Letter' with Lillian Gish, I am watching it on YT in a not-very-high resolution. But it does have one of the kinkier subtitles from the era: As Hester Prynne walks beside Reverend Dimmsdale, she says, 'Sir, it would be pleasant to walk beside thee and hear thee tell me of my sins.' 

10/6/2012 7:46:10 PM: Dominance is not just about what happens in the playroom or bedroom, nor is it only about obeying my man's commands. it's about being able to trust that he has good enough judgment to make the right decisions in his life.  The worst mistakes I've ever made in my life, happened because I allowed some man to talk me into going along with a course of action that I knew was not-terribly-well-thought-out -- leading to the financial ruination of both of us. It is no longer possible for me to repair the damage a man does when he goes off half-cocked. I need to be able to trust that he knows what he's doing, and is not acting impulsively out of mere greed.  But how do I know he has the kind of judgment I can trust? What are the markers to look for? Of course everybody makes mistakes, but that's only a crime if you never learn from them. How does he show me that he's learned from his mistakes? 'By their fruits you will know them,' but what do the fruits look like?  This is probably more important than the size of a man's bank account -- all of which can be wiped out overnight by just one ill-considered or unethical move. 

6/14/2012 10:49:23 AM: There's this girl in my ToastMasters club. When she first showed up at a meeting a year ago, she had a boho-goth look, complete with collar -- and a very mousy, meek demeanor. She's coming along, slowly, gaining in confidence. Last night I evaluated her second speech, giving her improvised verbal feedback in front of the whole club.  She is always seen in company with two others: a man who used to be an Area Governor for ToastMasters, and a woman who is Secretary of our local club. Although the girl hasn't worn that collar in public for awhile, last night I reminded her that she had worn it the first time I met her. 'Did it mean what I thought it means?' I asked. The man said, 'Aw, c'mon! Be blunt! What DO you think it means?' I turned to the girl again and said, 'I think it means you're a sub.' And she said yes. So I said, 'If ever you feel a need to talk about those kinds of issues, as one sub to another, you know where to find me.' Thus I outed myself to them, and discovered that the three of them have an M/s arrangement.  The irony? I have just been elected President of the club, the man in this trio has been elected VP of Education, and the older woman is continuing-on as Club Secretary . . . which means that the kinksters have taken over the club! Who'da thunk? 

4/1/2012 5:44:35 PM: It sure would be nice if the Dom I decide upon is good at helping me lift heavy things. I was lifting my mixer board into the car yesterday -- and missed. On the 2nd attempt, I got it, but my knee has felt funny ever since. Occupational hazard of the showbiz gal. At least I will see the doc tomorrow...