From the corner apartment on the 43rd floor, I can see so much. There's construction on all sides. If I can see them, they can see me, right? Ooops. I still walk around naked after a shower.  I think it would be fun to fuck, in front of the windows, in front of the workers across the way.  Just sayin'. 

Holidays are approaching. I'm excited to spend time with my family.  I like the idea of a secret life, even though I don't need to have one. I'm divorced, and my kids are grown, yet the kind of relationship I want can't be discussed over the Thanksgiving table.  Not a secret then, but an omission.  I found myself in Grand Central this afternoon, which meant a stop at the Oyster Bar. I have such great John Cheever fantasies about the place, but the martinis are the worst.  So, on the rare occasion that I try again and hope for the best, I need to go to Gage & Tollner for a proper one. Tonight that also involved a steak and an amazing goat cheese and blueberry cheesecake.  These are the things I love.  My point being, if you allow me to indulge, I will be more pliable.  What are your holiday fantasies?

My son was scammed over a two year period culminating in what was supposed to be a first meeting yesterday. He sent money: plane fare, half the AirBNB, etc. and he still harbors some hope tht she might be real and just got cold feet.  I know people think there are a lot of scammers on this site. I'm sure it's true, but it's sad.  I may not want to meet you, or even talk to you, but I am a real, living, breathing woman, just looking for connection like everyone else.  Good luck out there, and for godsake, don't give anyone money!

What a long strange trip - week - it's been.  It's a good time to be a submissive. What a treat it must be to slip off into subspace and ignore the rest of the world.  A lot of us will probably be fine, but my heart goes out to our LBGTQ friends who must be feeling some trepidation.  Stay safe, and be kind. 

I just reread my last entry, and it's a bit harsh. Maybe a bit of guilt in there for ignoring people, since I HAVE put myself out there.  My desire ebbs and flows. As a natural submissive, it makes sense that it would need a source. It comes from someone else, drawing it out, defining it, feeding on its power.  I can see the outlines of him. I wish I could draw him into being.