3/15/2013 10:31:19 AM: Relationship didnt work out. Turns out he is still in love with someone else. Wish he had figured it out all those months ago instead of waiting almost a half a year to figure it out. But, that means I am jumping back into the pond again. Cant believe I am saying it, but I am single again.

10/3/2012 5:49:36 PM:   I had to say goodbye to another guy tonight. Sometimes it really hurts. Especially when they are great guys. However, those are the guys that always seem to find every one of my faults and insecurities. Knowing that those would become issues in our relationship, the only responsible thing I can do is ask them to find someone else, no matter how much that hurts me and I don’t want to.

9/8/2012 2:50:14 PM: Finally starting to get settled here in Albany. Its pretty much a fresh start on everything. New job is only a few months old, new place is only a few weeks old and I am single.  Time to regroup and decide what I really want at this point in my life.   The move was hellish, and most of my so-called 'friends' bailed on me, leaving me to deal with it myself and get myself out of bad situations. So, it is time to reconsider some friendships as well . Just as I am purging possessions from my life, might be time to purge some relationships as well.   In all of this 'fresh start' mindset, I am also starting to reconsider what I really want in my relationships and sex life. I am not sure that I have the same desire for the same intensity I had before, or maybe it is just lower on the priority list. I am really not sure. Things are really up in the air what I need and want at this point.   Time for a clean slate and to start building my life from the ground up again. There is a lot of thinking to do.

4/15/2012 9:30:03 AM: So, its official, I got the new job in Albany, so my time here in Catskill is heading towards a close. I am expecting to be moving closer to Albany in the next few months. Right now I am doing the commute and it isnt too bad, right now I am thinking early summer for the move.   However, since the commute isnt so bad and I havent had a lot of luck finding what I want in a new apartment, I am open to taking my time in finding a place up there. However, I definately want to be settled by October when the weather starts heading towards winter. So what that means for CM is that I am going to be heading north, so although I am still in Catskill now, that may take me out of range for having a relationship with someone south, and for the guys in the north, especially around Albany, I am  open to pursuing something up there. Right now I am up there at least five days a week. Time for another new chapter in my life.

1/22/2011 4:17:21 PM:      Took a break for a while, tried focusing on a guy and getting my life together. Neither seemed to have worked out. Both seem to reach a peak and then everything fell apart.       Working on picking up the pieces of my life, as for the guy... havent heard from him in weeks.      Hard to be together if he never even contacts you,  even though he keeps making promises of 'soon...' Soon we will talk, Soon I will have time to see you, Soon things will slow down. Yeah, ok, I believed that months ago, but obviously that doesnt seem to be changing.      I deserve to be a priority, not a fill in the blank when you are bored.      So, time for me to move on again. Get my life back together, if a guy happens to be part of that, even better.