DILDOS A metaphysical meditation. I am amazed by the almost infinite variety of dildos available. Not just the obvious differences in length and width, from Tampax Virgin to Indian Elephant, but also styles and decorations. My own preference is for the more abstract and functional. I dislike the fake dick, all bulging veins, a grotesque exaggeration of the anatomically correct--in short a guy's dream, not a girl's. Or as Freud once said while puffing on a salami, 'Only men suffer from penis envy.' This isn't to take issue with other women's taste (if that's the word I want), merely that I prefer a more abstract tool to a mere penis, a Lacanian phallus to a repro dong. A nicely ridged jelly dildo emphasizes the fact that I'm a girl with a toy, not a woman who wants to be a man, or any other heteronormal crap. (Ms. Anne was educated by the best feminists Daddy's money could buy, in case you couldn't tell). So one quick chorus of 'I Enjoy Being a Girl,' and it's off to shop. My favorite dildos to use on other people are the ones I most like to use on Myself--a new application of the Golden Rule: Fuck unto others as you would have them fuck unto You. In the category of the hand-held free-range dildo, I love the Magic Wand, with nicely gradated rings slowly opening up wider and wider. Suitable for use on boys and girls, and it makes a great stocking stuffer. On the strap-on side, My personal all time fav is the Feeldoe. Yes, a tad more anatomically accurate (that is, if dicks came in both directions), but a wonderful addition to any wardrobe. You hold it in with your Kegel muscles (thanks, Dr. Kegel for discovering them!) and the little pad in front provides hours of hole-some fun. Not only do you get to rub your clit, fuck your own cunt, and ream his ass/her cunt, all at the same time, but the angle of penetration is just better--at least for me. With a regular harness, despite the pleasure of leather, I always feel like I'm fucking with my pubic bone (not my most sensitive area). When I'm fucking with the feeldoe, I feel more like I'm fucking with my entire cunt.