I have had a burning curiousity that I have pushed deep inside for as long as I can recall. Im just now building the courage to explore those feelings and understand who I really am.

Scenarios that consume my thoughts when I have down time

Humiliation, so this is where it gets a bit tough for me to admit to my thoughts. Having a stunning confident woman gain pleasure from my uneasiness, and embarrassment is such a turn on. Does that stem from my feeling of inadequacy or perhaps just giving full control to someone else? Whatever it is being humiliated is a huge turn on, and the more humiliating the better.

Cuckolding. Right along with humiliation. I think maybe its just forced bi, but not the normal suck a cock. Its more of being a convincing sexy crossdresser who doesnt just drop to her knees but is expected to entertain and arouse her partner while her Goddess is amused by her perance.

Restrained. Again this plays in to the first two, but being restrained in a prone position with the agony of anticipation of whats next. Maybe my goddess walks in with a strap, maybe a strap on? Maybe she walks in with her friends to laugh and point, using me as a coat rack while they eat or have drinks. Maybe she doesnt walk in at all but sends a male friend of hers in by himself. What do I do? She isnt here to protect me, does she want me to entertain him or resist him? Oh the things that go through my mind depending on how I answer!

Maybe my Goddess isnt a she but is a he. Could I please him? Could I look into his eyes and beg him, calling him daddy, worshipping him?

So many things that I am looking to explore, I hope to find someone who can help me open and walk through those doors!