Ok, i realize i am probably on the wrong site. i should probably be on Christian Mingle. This site seems to attract Dommes that are far more into kink than relationship building, but it is free, easy to use, and rather addicting!  i lost the only real meaningful loving relationship i ever had because i began to understand my submissive needs couldnt be satisfied with occasional role playing sessions and i began feeling submissive outside the bedroom as well. i discussed it with my love, and asked Her to take the lead in our relationship in any way She felt comfortable , but sadly, it just wasn't in Her nature. i gradually began losing interest in vanilla sex, and continually tried to nudge Her into taking control, i wound up pushing Her away, and hurt us both very much. She was a wonderful Lady, and i will carry a certain burden of guilt for having let Her down for the rest of my days. But i just couldn't live in denial of who i am. Now, realizing who i am, even with the ibternet, i realize that i am almost certainly destined to be alone for the rest of my days, because i am looking for the rarest of Dommes. That would be the One with a huge heart. The One who will love me affectionately and tenderly as well as with structure and discipline. The One who recognizes my submission as a symbol of my love, and sees it as a gift to be cherished.