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WinterHeart

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Friends:
ElorinIcheLiebeBondage

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WickedSilk is not only my mentor here on collarme, she is my sister, my best friend and the only person that I switch with. When I switch, I am under her direction. Before you ask...No, she is not my dominant and no we do not "play" with each other. I am not bi-sexual, but am completely comfortable serving her as a friend and dominant. I will assist her in scenes and switch under her direction. Have any questions about me? Ask her she knows everything.



I am not actively seeking anything other than friends. I will be respectful to all, until they prove they do not deserve respect. All I ask is that you do not approach me if you are looking for somthing more intimate than a casual friend. I don't have enough time at present to spend online since I just moved and am settling in.

Just to let you know a bit about me; I'm a short, fat redhead with a quirky sense of humour. At times very introspective other times social. I'm a smoker and have no intentions of releasing that bad habit anytime soon. I'm an optimist with no time for negativity, although to be honest I can be a grump at times. There is a temper inside me...I'm a redhead so it shouldn't surprise you. Micro management is not for me as I'm an adult and do not need someone to oversee my every moment.

However, as I said before...I'm not here looking for Master Right...or even Master right now. Friends are perfectly acceptible.


"It isn't your touch that will drive me to my knees. It is the look of ownership in your eyes,
the show of pride in your stance as you look down upon me,
the leveled balance of your tightly controlled lust as I tempt you with my essence.
To own, captivate and Master, me, you must first, own your own spirit,
be Master of your own life, have captivated your own essence
and then formed these into the Man
You wish me, to believe in.~RDE"

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9/6/2008 8:35:19 PM
After reading through a few profiles, I have to let my memories take me back to how I was when first introduced to this lifestyle.

How very earnest I was, intending to learn and experience everything I could in the shortest amount of time possible.

I learned, oh how I learned..and yearned and burned. Afterall these years there are times when that burning need sneaks back upon me, leaving me restless and wanting more than what I have.

There are days that I do not think of what I want or need to have in my life other than basic necessities. Others, I cannot settle for more than a few moments then back to that restlessness that eats away at my spirit.

Still, in the back of mind I ask myself what is it that I truly want and the reply is always..."I want to be real."

Just like the velveteen rabbit, loved into reality...now wouldn't that be nice?

7/13/2008 2:16:37 PM

***Warning rant ahead***



As if I didn't have enough bs in my life I have to get it here too? I try to treat everyone with respect, until they've proven less than deserving.


Let me spell this out to you...I want to be crystal clear.


Do NOT approach me if you cannot give enough of your self for a proper introduction. One line emails of introduction are simply not worth my time especially the likes of this one.



"obey me i will give you your dreams"




Alright, so I gave the dude the benefit of doubt and sent a slightly humorous ice breaker back, thinking perhaps he might be "shy" ~rme~




"curious look~

And do you guess my dreams?

I've always obeyed my Master when in a relationship...that has never been an issue. I must admit to raging curiousity in dream giving though. My dreams are varied and vivid...some might think them too soft...but they are mine.

What do you dream of?"



Now that was intended to bring out a bit of personlity in the person that approached me, not the other way around. So what do I get? This lovely piece of drivel.



"i dream of making u my queen , slave , slut depending on how u obey"



Let's just approach this from a grammatically correct point of view. I don't speak in text-ese, I don't write in IM speak, because I am an adult that can string a sentence or two together and actually am not lazy about the way I write. I feel using IM speak when contacting someone you are supposed to be interested in is very impolite and shows either a lack of education or proper respect for the person you are supposedly attempting to attract.



Giving this person one last chance with a reply...



"With no disrespect intended, I'd feel more comfortable had you at least made the effort to get to know me before jumping right into it.

I'm a very wary person, and my initial response was one that was intended to interject a bit of humor into an icebreaker. I had hoped to open a discourse between us, but one line replies do not give me any
"feel" for the type of man you are.

I am very communicative and would like know more about the person with which I am conversing. Your profile is not full enough to give me any type of clue as to what you are looking for, or the type of man is typing these messages.

In my profile, I made a sincere effort to enlighten those that might read it as to the personality of the woman behind the words. As much as I yearn for a committed relationship, I've learned from past experiences to not jump into a relationship without getting to know that person really well...first as friends then, with time, more."



Bringing about another eloquent response of..

"we got time"




By this point, I'm frustrated to no end, feeling stupid for giving this person the time of day and decided to point him to my sister and mentor to see if he has enough class to approach her with proper respect..



"We all have time. Might I suggest something? If you are truly serious about wanting to get to know me, perhaps you should contact my sister here on collarme, she is a Dominant and knows me better than anyone else on earth.


Also, she is my mentor and anyone that is seriously interested in getting to know me, should contact her as well."




To which he replied.."sure bring her with u , we can do 3  some"



No one, and I do mean no one disrespects her like that. Dude you have struck out...




My final words to him..


" You have officially been blocked!


I've treated you with nothing but respect, giving you the benefit of the doubt that you might actually be worth my time.


You have proven yourself to not be worth, time, effort or trust.

Find some social skills, manners and the ability to treat women with respect and one day, you might find something worth breathing for."




I know this site has it's contingent of wankers, losers, fruits and nuts, but stay out of my inbox...I don't have time for you.

Winter.






7/12/2008 11:54:04 PM
For a while, I won't be around here much...stress is eating me alive at this point and it's taking all my energy to try and remain positive and keep my head above water.

Facing the mortality of one's parents is something that I have didn't prepare for and this weekend, it's hit me right between the eyes. Add this to my own personal stresses from work..etc and honestly, being here just isn't a priority at this point.

I'll check mail from time to time, but if I don't reply right away, don't think it's negative toward you..it just means that I don't have the energy to reply.

Winter....

9/5/2007 8:39:55 PM
I'm not around often...I work and in the process of starting up a business...so my time here is very limited to say the least.

I've met some very nice folks here and hope they realize that I'm not putting them off...There simply is not enough hours in the day to do everything.

~warm smile~

9/5/2007 8:38:17 PM
A question from the curious:


Why do people email others here then quickly take down their profile before one can respond to them...that's happened several times lately and it just seems a bit curious to me.

8/28/2007 9:19:43 PM
I see so many around here that are looking for poly and am amazed at that fact.

Once, I tried poly...was in a relationship with my "M" and his wife. She and I have remained close friends over the years, however it took a long while for us to get back to that point of being friends. Poly didn't work out. To my way of thinking, someone is always going to be hurt. There is such a tension when there are two or more women. Yes, I know those of the Gorean persuation will cry..."It's possible, with the right mix". Each and every poly relationship I've witnessed has always failed due to jealousy issues, lack of communication and in my opinion (yes I have alot of those ~grins~), no man can satisfy more than one woman on any level. Be it psychological or physical. True intimacy just isn't found in the poly relationships I've been involved with or witnessed.

At some point one or all will lie whether to the others or just themselves.

It was a learning experience for me...I learned...I don't play well with others, especially when it comes to the one I love. I'll share my ice cream, my clothes, perfumes but sharing my Man? Well....I'm not wired that way. Some might say it's wrong for a submissive to be possessive, I say it's natural...I don't want my "One" to want to share me and I certainly don't want to share my One.

8/9/2007 8:54:06 AM
Music that interests me: Normally I love alternative/goth music. However lately, I've become obsessed with Celtic music. Perhaps it's my genes....I'm part Scot- Irish afterall. ~grins~

This song by Celtic Woman really speaks to me and I thought I'd share the lyrics...

I hear your voice on the wind
And I hear you call out my name

"Listen, my child," you say to me
"I am the voice of your history
Be not afraid, come follow me
Answer my call, and I'll set you free"

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice that always is calling you
I am the voice, I will remain

I am the voice in the fields when the summer's gone
The dance of the leaves when the autumn winds blow
Ne'er do I sleep thoughout all the cold winter long
I am the force that in springtime will grow

I am the voice of the past that will always be
Filled with my sorrow and blood in my fields
I am the voice of the future, bring me your peace
Bring me your peace, and my wounds, they will heal

I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice that always is calling you
I am the voice

I am the voice of the past that will always be
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice of the future
I am the voice, I am the voice
I am the voice, I am the voice

8/9/2007 8:39:44 AM
Life is definately interesting lately. The job hunt has turned into some possiblities. The house hunt has been put on hold.

However, real life always takes precedence over anything online and my real life is hectic to say the least.

I like busy...it keeps me out of trouble. ~grins~

7/2/2007 9:47:46 AM
Hmmmm

My mail is interesting today. Someone from here wrote me and told me he had pegged me as a fake because I declined to answer his silly questions on his profile.

The fact is, that until I get to know someone "very" well I'm not inclined to check out his inseam, his outseam or any type of seam he might have.

Why? Because I'm not interested in someone that is only interested in the "physical". Fact is...the man did not stimulate a bit of my grey matter and I found it difficult to keep writing with someone that seemed only interested in physical aspects.

Note to those wanting to get to know me: I don't send out pictures. Any picture of me that you see will be strictly G-rated. I prefer my presents wrapped...a little class would be nice and appreciated.

If you have no morals...keep surfing and pass me by..please. If you expect cyber/phone/indiscriminate sex...keep moving cause it will not happen with me.

If you can approach me with respect that is exactly what you will receive from me.

On the flip side...I've had some wonderful stimulating conversations with a few out here and I really appreciate those men. ~blows kisses~

6/26/2007 10:13:50 PM

We have become an instant gratification society. Everything we want comes at the touch of fingertips to keyboard.
Information is out there, dial a phone number and it's delivered to your doorstep. Technology is a wonderful thing, but it has turned us into a world of people that want everything instantly.

This has led us to a place of "lack" in my estimation. There is a lack of work ethic, lack of integrity, moral compass.

A person puts up a profile and immediately is innundated with requests/demands for cyber sex or more revealing pictures.

What happened to getting to know each other, building trust? Making a foundation the proper way? Has everyone gotten so comfortable with the anonymity of online that we can't talk face to face and be comfortable?

I find it so very sad that most are not willing to work for what they desire. It's also sad to find the lost hopes and dreams of so very many. Dream...work for your dream. Build on integrity and trust. Don't expect what you want most to just fall into your lap. Know that nothing free is truly worth having. Care enough to wrap the presents you give. Care enough to give complete honesty. Dare to demand excellence not only from yourself, but others around you.

For every time you are smacked down, stand back up, hold yourself with pride, don't slink away and hide in the shadows of an anonymous world. Be bold and hold yourself proudly. For every mistake you make there are dozens of wonderful acts you have done. Don't allow the world to break your spirit, be like the willow and bend against the gales, but never break.

Don't lose yourself in this ever changing world...be unique, be original for there is only one you. Hold yourself accountible for your actions and hold others accountible for theirs. Be responsible for your own happiness, for it's not found in another, your happiness resides in you.


6/25/2007 8:43:57 PM

What ever happened to common courtesy?


It seems this medium of the internet, while giving us instant access to all the educational information about this lifestyle has also taken away the concept of common courtesy.


I have many Dominant friends and the growing trend among online submissives is  lack of regard and accountiblity for their words or actions.


I hear so much discussion amongst my submissive friends about the so called dominants that expect sex or scening on the first meet, but then they are not willing to admit that perspective subs are pushing for that too.


Where did safe, sane and consentual go? Do people not realize that to put yourself in such an intimate place on the first meet is 1)Dangerous and 2)Flat out stupid.


I will not even consider such activities when I first meet a dominant. There is no trust built between two people on the first meeting and let's face it; first time meetings are for getting to know one another, not scenes.


The more I hear, the more frightening it becomes and I've been in the lifestyle since 1989. Has the world gone crazy?


6/14/2007 9:58:57 PM
It's been over a year since I last updated my profile or made a journal entry. The past year has been interesting to say the least.

Shortly after finding out my Master had lied to me for over a year, I was injured at work and subsequently had to have spinal surgery. Which meant I had to leave my life and move to my family as I spent the following time in physical therapy re-learning how to move and trying to strengthen myself as I had extensive nerve damage.

However, I remained strong and came out of it in my normal...optimistically grumpy fashion. ~grins~

Now, I've moved to TN and am starting over with my sister by my side. Life has a way of inserting interesting little kicks to get your attention...consider my attention caught.

It's a new day, a new life and a new beginning.

2/26/2006 2:57:21 PM
One of my  best friends and the person I room with thinks I am online looking for another "Him". That could not be further from the truth. I won't have another relationship with someone from online.

However, I don't mind having friends that I can chat with and have meaningful conversations. I've met some really nice submissive women here too and it always helps to have a girlfriend or six that you can just let it all out with. There have been some nice males here too that want to be friends and don't mind my warier than thou attitude.

Game plan for the following months....get healthier, more active in church and more active period. To become even more independant so no one can make me feel less than what I truly am again.

Winter

2/24/2006 8:21:43 PM
Ummmmmmm, so very tired. Struggling with high stress and health issues at this time leave me exhausted and I have no energy for anything more than work and sleep. Except, sleep eludes me most nights I toss and turn, burn and cry...then get up and go outside to smoke.

I dream of him and wake up angry, punching my pillows because he wasn't man enough to face me....I am angry for all the lies told and believed.

I am angry for letting down my guard and allowing him access to the "core" of my soul.

And, with no regard to him...I am angry because one of my best friend's mother and friend to me, passed away and I am helpless to give comfort to my friend.

The wheel turns, the spiral seeks and somewhere in the middle I stand.....alone.

2/9/2006 7:59:14 PM
So many have asked me about my profile and why I've been hurt. It wasn't the first time and that is the worst part of it. However, it was the worst hurt I've ever suffered.

This man that I had been with for over a year, that I planned to marry this year. Had lied to me, played me like a symphony and when it was over, I found that he had violated each and every stipulation that I had made in the very beginning.

You might wonder what those stipulations were?

Honesty

Manogamy

Single

Wanted children as much as I

Intent for long term aka marriage


For a year, I was blissfully happy. He collared my heart, soul and body and I never once doubted him. Not even when my friends voiced their concerns that he was away on business too much. I was faithful, loyal and true to him even though there were many opportunities to see other men. I trusted him with the most special and devoted of souls...my own.

In the end, there was pain, betrayal and complete humiliation. That is why, if you want more than just an interesting friendship...a meeting of like minds with no chance of anything more...I ask you to please not write to me. I don't want to waste your time.

Winter

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