I wrote this as part of an introductory message to someone and think it was good enough to share here. "This is an alternative lifestyle to me There are several reasons, one is something that kind of bothered me at a young age I shoved thebad thoughts I had, I had even as a very young youth, thoughts that both horrified and fascinated meI used to justify my thoughts as not being cruel if what I did, I did to those who deserved it, like criminals etc What worried me was the sexuality I feltIt was much later in life, around 40 years ago I started putting it all together from a primal blueprint and social and religious pressure through to conditioning I was relieved to find a world I fitted, and its this world and learning to interact between the lifestyle and the vanilla world that I have been studying, learning, teaching and livingIts a strange world with so many dark and mysterious places."

On Realistic Expectations and the Woman You Are Serving   Let me be plain with you, because plainness here is a kindness and I have never been interested in the alternative. I attended a funeral last weekend. Alone.  I want to sit with that for a moment before I say anything else, because it is the most precise illustration I could offer of everything this journal is about. There is a specific and particular indignity in navigating grief in public without someone beside you. Not because I cannot do it, I can do anything alone, I have proven this repeatedly and without fanfare. But because a woman like me should not have to. Because the presence of a devoted and capable partner at your side during the hardest moments of ordinary life is not a luxury. It is what partnership is for. It is, in fact, one of the most fundamental things a serious dynamic should provide: someone who stands beside you in the moments that cost you something, who carries the social weight of difficult occasions, who is simply and solidly there so that you can grieve or endure or simply get through the day without also having to do it visibly alone. I disdain it. I will not dress that up. I disdain walking into rooms full of people as a woman unaccompanied, not because my worth requires a witness, but because I have built enough of a life to deserve someone who shows up for it completely, including the parts that are not beautiful or exciting or charged with the particular electricity of our dynamic. The funeral is not glamorous. It is not a candlelit dinner or a weekend in Greece. It is a Saturday in grief clothes standing in a room full of loss, and I will do it with my back straight and my composure intact because that is who I am, and I will come home to an empty house afterward, and I will feel the absence of what should be there with the specific sharpness of something that is missing rather than something that never existed. This is what I mean when I talk about realistic expectations cutting in both directions. I am a mother first. This is not a disclaimer. It is not an apology. It is the organizing fact of my life around which everything else, including you, arranges itself. I have two children in their preteen years, which anyone who has raised children knows is one of the most demanding and most critical seasons of a young person's life. They require my presence, my attention, my emotional availability, my time, and my energy in quantities that do not leave a remainder to be distributed according to your preferences. If you have arrived here expecting a Goddess with unlimited hours and frictionless availability, you have arrived at the wrong door. This weekend, I had my children.  My time was spent on them, because it is exactly where that time should be spent.  I am also finishing my education, because I am a woman who does not stop building herself simply because life has become complex. I work. I manage a household. I carry the particular and invisible weight that women carry, the planning and the anticipating and the holding of a thousand threads simultaneously, the mental labor that has no clock-out time and no weekend. What this means for you practically is something I need you to hear completely before you decide whether this life is what you actually want or simply what you have romanticized from a comfortable distance. My time is not abundant. It is finite and it is precious and it is allocated with the precision of someone who cannot afford to waste it. There will be days, entire stretches of days, where the children need me and school demands me and work requires me and what is left over is not nothing but it is quiet and it is mine and I will spend it restoring myself rather than managing your need for attention. This is not neglect. This is the reality of serving a woman with a full and serious life, and if you cannot hold yourself with dignity and purpose during those stretches then you are not the caliber of person this dynamic requires. A serious long term FLR TPE with a woman like me is not a constant performance of dominance and submission playing out in real time every hour of every day. It is a structure. It is an understanding so deeply embedded in the way we live that it does not require constant activation. It runs underneath everything, informing how the household operates, how decisions are made, how resources are allocated, how your time and energy are directed even when I am at a school pickup or a study session or simply in a bath with the door closed and my phone face down. Your place in this dynamic is to raise me. Not in the sense that I require raising. In the sense that your devotion, your service, your resources and your effort should be oriented toward elevating my life, reducing my load, creating space around me so that I can be the mother, the student, the professional, and the Goddess that I am without the additional friction of a partner who has become another item on my list of things to manage. You are not here to add to my weight. You are here to carry some of it. That means the household runs because you run it. It means my children's lives are easier because our home is stable and managed and full of the kind of calm that only exists when someone competent is handling the infrastructure of daily life with care. It means you have found your purpose and your structure in the service itself, not in the moments of explicit dynamic play, because those moments are real but they are not the whole of what this is. The whole of what this is lives in the Tuesday afternoon when I have a deadline and a tired child and you have already handled dinner and the house is quiet and I can do what I need to do because you have made space for it. It lives in the Saturday morning of a funeral when I do not have to walk in alone. That is the submission I am describing. Not the aesthetic of it. The actual weight-bearing practice of it, daily, in the ordinary moments that make up most of a life. The grief clothes and the school pickups and the late study nights and the hard weekends. The presence that does not require the occasion to be significant in order to show up for it completely. If you can find your satisfaction there, in the real and unglamorous work of elevating another person's existence, then you understand something essential about what I am offering and what I require. The collar and the candlelight exist. They are real and they are extraordinary. But they rest on a foundation of consistent, intelligent, humble service that asks nothing of me except that I receive it well. I receive it very well. But you have to bring it first, and bring it correctly, and bring it to the funeral as readily as you bring it to the beautiful moments, because the funeral is where it counts the most and the beautiful moments are easy. I am worth the patience. I am worth the long view. I am worth showing up for on the hard Saturdays. The question is whether you are the person who actually does.

Hot Ash ( My Thoughts ) ...  Sir Hugo Atlanta   ... "Hot Ash" is the worship and adoration of CIGARS.Its not your typical submissive fetish.I started smoking cigars when I was 13 or14 and was living in Isle Verde, Puerto Rico.I was in Old San Juan walking the quaint cobblestone streets, when I passesd a small store, with two men in the very back, the walls stacked with wooden "trays" that held pre-formed cigars prior to getting the wrapper, and band.I watched for a good while admiring their craft of hand rolling cigars. I bought a dozen or so freshly rolled cigars and lite up in the shop. The cigar was mild and had the flavor of hickory nuts, earthy.I was a young dom when I met my first "human ash tray". This was in the early 80's.This submissive girl was obsessed with "ash". She loved if I flicked the white/gray cigar ash into her cupped hands, or if I flicked it into her mouth, or even if I flicked it at her.When I blew out smoke she would take in a deep breath. I would also take the tip of my cigar and singe pubic hair leaving a burnt smell in the air. Just the act of blowing smoke into her eyes and face aroused her.The cigar made a fun probe giving the cigar a TASTE of female sex in my mouth, and the smell of female Pheromones right to my nose!!!That's really about it for HotAsh I also love having a relaxing blow-job while sitting back puffing my Artuero Fuentes 8-5-8 Claro/Candella or smoking a Monticristo #5 while having my feet rubbed and my toes sucked, as I stroke my cock looking at my ashtray."Hot Ash"Sir Hugo (Atlanta, GA)

Guess What? You've been rejected. No long explanations. No closure. No friendship offers. No “maybe later.” Just a big, bold, unapologetic NO. And don’t worry...I won’t block you. Blocking would imply I need peace from you. But I don’t. I want you to sit in the front row for my rise. I want you to watch me glow, knowing full well you’ll never touch it. I want you tormented by the fact that someone like me was once within reach,  but now I'm a constellation you’ll never map again. Consider this my final gift to you: A lifetime subscription to spectator status. Enjoy the show, peasant. This is my FUCK YOU à la mode  topped with success and served cold. As a sadist this really tickles my soul and warms my heart!  

  At Their feet… …a place to kneel in devotion …a place to listen attentively …a place to adore Their mind …a place to worship Their body …a place to understand a lesson …a place to feel home …a place for so much more    

"Profile Not Found"Just for future information, if you ever try to message me or look at my profile, and it says Profile Not Found, that just means the profile is awaiting approval, probably after some small edit or new picture upload. Theres no way to guess how long this will take, sometimes its a few minutes, sometimes days or weeks, its all an opaque black box, a faceless torment machine we all have to endureI'm very unhappy with this approval system collarspace uses, it is ancient, slow, and surely resource intensive. Maybe it works as an anti spam measure, but every other site out there solves this problem without such a systemThey could at least, after seeing a well written profile that engages with others, mark it as trusted so it doesnt need to go through approval in future. This whoe thing feels like a needless waste of everyone's time and resources :(   On a related note, today i spoke with a user whose profile was not found, even while he was still messaging me. Given that you cant message while awaiting approval, something else must have been causing this, but both of us were clueless as to what. Any ideas what it could mean?

So yes, I am looking, but slowly. My needs have not changed so terribly much, but they are non-negotiable.  Be familiar with polyamory, and comfortable with a poly dynamic Be service oriented. My life is full to overflowing with responsibilities, I need someone who is driven to reduce my burdens Be intillectually stimulating - politics, science, culture, history, psychology etc. Engage the brain. Be Pet friendly - I have two big dogs, live in the country, keep chickens etc.  If you're a city only person, no dice.  Be a foodie or nearly so - it is one of the great creature comforts of life to explore and enjoy food Be not conservative. This wing of politics in the US has been subsumed into an authoritarian, fascism based mob trying to dictate our lives.   Be pro-LGBTQ. Trans folks in the US are under attack. I am rabidly pro-civil rights for Trans folks. Be good with that, or be gone. Be politically engaged. If you don't vote, don't know whats happening, you're abdicating your responsibility.  Be reasonably put together - you must have a license, a car, a job, and some degree of education.  Be articulate. If you send a one liner, I may just delete and block. It depends on my mood.  Be aware of perimenopause and what that does to women. Its no small thing. Why do I have to put these things in bullet points?  I guess I've just seen too much garbage in my day, and right now, I'm tired. I am here to find what works for me, not to accommodate other people's interests or wants.  

"First Encounter" Inner thoughts of this dom. HIM:  "Today I'm about to meet this incredibly sexy submissive ive been coveting for a while. She a cute little thing that would be perfect to join my family. I wonder how quick she will succumb to my will? What and how far will she go to be allowed to orgasm?" These as many other stray and random thought rattled their way around my mind. The excitement mounting as we were about to meet real time after a very long period of online and phone chats as we each revealed ourselves to each other. Developing what we hoped would be a meet that would cause sparks to fly within us as the anticipation had grown that seductive. I meet you at a quiet little bar. There we introduce ourselves for the first time in real life. I feel like I know so much about you after the many weeks we have spent chatting online. You are even more beautiful in person. As I hug you tightly to my body the faint whiff of your perfume entices me. I slowly slide my hands down your back as out tongues dance in our joined mouths. Working down your firm ass I can't help but squeeze your cheeks. I slight moan escapes your lips into my mouth. I disengage our lips and bring my face against your neck. Once again inhaling your perfume and freshly washed hair. As I bring one hand up to your head to hold it in place as I nuzzle your neck my other hand slides up your short dress to make sure you followed my instructions and didn't wear underwear.  I pull your head to the side by your hair exposing your neck. Like Dracula I attack your neck. Nibbling and licking it as I work my way to your naked shoulder. My other hand openly caressing your naked ass for all to see. I am so proud of her. She passingly mentioned to me that she was never into PDA nor was she much for kissing. Yet here we stood locked together mouth to mouth for all the world to see. "If only she had gotten thus kind of affection more often. Would she feel differently?" I think to myself.  She feels the cool breeze against her naked ass as I intentionally expose it. I want to see her reaction to my actions. Will she deny my? If I am to be her sir surely she will comply. She knows if she passes the tasks I will bestow upon her over the next week that she will find shelter within my arms. Secure in the fact that I will help her grow and be there to catch her when she falls. For this she will give me her mind, heart and body but eventually I want to own her soul. The pilgrimage of that honor is my quest.   HER: Feeling you lift my incredibly already short skirt and the breeze on my ass, you feel my whole body grow warm, and see the bright red spreading across my skin, as i move my hand to cover my poor ass and gs every so quietly, in your grip i do my best to turn away from the other people near by knowing i wont get far i still wiggle and whisper a quiet "Sir, theres people looking" all the whole attempting to pull the skirt back down and cover myself.  As she tries to pull back her skirt feeling humiliated and embarrassed I quietly whisper in her ear. It ok baby girl. You are beautiful scars and all. I desire to show you off. Love yourself for me.  You feel my fingers sliding between the cheeks of your ass. Relieved that this action is allowing your skirt to begin covering your nakedness. Suddenly you feel my finger tip dip between your lips that are moist from fear and excitement. The action is quick and efficient. Only lasting a split second yet the feelings it created within you may last much longer. You quickly look around to see if anyone noticed your reaction and what sir is doing to you. There at the bar is a young man. He can't be any older than 22. A grin on his face as he quickly turns away when you look his way as if you wouldn't notice the lust within his eyes. You suddenly feel wanted and desired.  Here your sir wants you and is giving you the attention you've been longing for for so long. And a man who is so young looks at you like a cougar with lust. Willing to pounce on you if he could. All these thoughts are running freely thru your tangled mind. Mixed emotions running ramped like a freed feral cat. Yet your body is betraying you with its actions. You turn suddenly away from me pulling me towards the waiting booth in the darker corner. I see the flushed look in your face. The embarrassment I have caused you. It turns me on making my cock twitch even more. The wetness I felt when dipping my finger in you showed me how your body betrays your mind. Although embarrassed you are turned on. Is it because of my actions or because you were being watched. I glance at the young man who is once again looking. I look him in the eye with alpha male intimidation that has served me well all my life. Something earned taught and released from my primal interior being from the years I spent in special forces while in the military. Something about one who has seen things that show the ugliness of man is like an imprint. Although not visible it is detected in posture. My eyes show a certain sadness but also scream that I am not one to be reckoned with. The young man immediately turns away. He picks up his beer and goes to the other end of the bar. Interpreting the unsaid message given to him by just a glare by a man more than twice his age. That instant momentarily distracts me as I faintly hear something you said but didn't fully acknowledge.  I pull you back to me. Holding you tight against my body once again. I feel your breasts pressed against my chest. Our groins mashed together as if they already know what is to come later. Anxious to get started as my cock strains against the denim of my jeans held prisoner. I whisper once again into your ear. "It's OK baby girl. I want to feel you against me for another moment.  After all these weeks you are now flesh and not just words. I nip your bare shoulder lightly with my teeth.  My tongue then flicks back and forth where my teeth once bit as if to offer a healing moment.  Unneeded tho because of the gentleness of it. Putting the smile on my face that I use for the world, the one that doesn't necessarily reach my eyes but seems to somehow charm everyone that comes in contact with.  Feeling you slide into the booth next to me, I have to concentrate so hard. In a way that I do not tense up, but keep my body relaxed. In the way "he who must not be named" showed me at all times. Afterall, no man wants to cuddle a corpse Katey! Shaking the thought from my head. I relax and let my features fall soft. Warm and welcoming. I risk a glance up from the table where my gaze has previously been focused and catch his eyes. They're peering into mine! Why on earth does it feel like he's looking straight into my soul? No one ever notices this much or pays this much attention. I know I'm cute tonight. Hell, I'm always cute. Enough cleavage showing to capture the attention of everyone in the room that has a penis and even some who don't. Why is he so focused on my eyes?  Shifting nervously but trying so hard to stay relaxed. (No one cuddles a corpse Katey!) I can't help but freeze just a bit as he grabs my hand pulling it to his face. Please don't notice the sweaty palms I chant in my head. He's going to think I'm insane or unable to show love. SHIT! What if he thinks I don't like him?  Pushing the thoughts from my head again drawing my focus back to the moment. I realize he's speaking to me. Not hearing half the words, but his eyes capturing mine again like he seems to have a talent of doing. I see a soft side in there. Someone honestly gentle.  You've seen that before too Katey! Right before the black eye my brat pipes up. Shut up it's different this time try to have faith. I zone back into his words and catch something about being his pet for the night.  About being taught new things. This stirs the curious one, the fun filled one with the will to live inside me. She gets super excited bouncing up and down like a child seeing stars for the first time. Eyes shining bright. She loves to learn new things.  All this flashes across my face before the brat hog ties her and sits her back down in the chair. For once her and I agree. Now is not the time for you to surface we're still treading new waters here. Wondering if he saw the roller coaster of emotions going through my twisted broken mind before my face settles. Back to the factory style smile and shining blue eyes all the men seem to love. I relax into his touch trying to show I'm not a mutant. Afraid I'll come off robotic. The motions coming so natural they seem programmed ( No one cuddles a corpse Katey!)  Hoping this gets past him and smile briefly hearing him say, "Tonight I own you". I reply with a sweet, "Yes Sir! I can't wait." Looking into her eyes as he holds her hand for reassurance he sees inner conflict. A turbulent turmoil of emotions taking flight within. He understands these feelings all too well. Demons that he himself has wrestled with for most of his life. His innocence stripped away from him as a delusional teenager.  His mind flashes back to the day he graduated high school. Signing his life away for the next 4yrs. Gonna be a GI! Government Issued, warrior. Right the wrongs and save the world from evil.  Yeah if only he knew who the enemy really was. How evil is everywhere in so many shapes and forms. A delusioned man child at only 18 who thought he knew it all. Quickly his mind snaps back to her. He lays her hand on his thigh and holds it there. Mere inches from his inflamed cock. Swelling that she has caused. Yes she is cute. Those beautiful braless tits on display. Just as he had instructed her to show off. Her beautiful, wanting to please, features displayed on her face. Her body, in that short dress. This too he had requested. One that could have started wars centuries ago. Her freshly washed hair with a hint of fruity smell.  My God what I want to do to that body! But no not yet! Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. That's not what I am after. I want that inner beauty I know is there hiding in fear in the darkness. Perhaps behind one too many negative experiences.  He looks at her again. Tilts his head to the side and leans in. Plants a soft kiss upon her forehead. "This is to free your mind of evil thoughts.", he tells her. Then leaving her hand on his thigh he takes hold of her head. One hand on either side and draws it to him. He kisses one eye, as her eyes instinctively closed. Perhaps out of fear. Then he kisses the other. "These are to ward off evil visions and nightmares.", he tells her. As he releases her he notices her hand is right where he left it. Is it out of fear he wonders as he glances down. Then he sees her moving her hand. Rubbing his thigh. Almost as if she is giving him a non-verbal thank you. Thanking her lucky stars she's put on her trained face. Her body falling in line with the program. This scene all well to practiced in previous encounters with other men. Her body doesn't trip her up for once. It manages to stay relaxed when he reaches for her hand placing it on his thigh.  He keeps her hand trapped under his a few moments. A feeling she's used to. The pinned down feeling. But this time something is different about it. Maybe it's the soft sweet words coming from a reassuring mouth. Instead of the normal don't move whore she was used to. Maybe its the sweet soft kisses he's laid upon her forehead or eyes. She's never felt something like this in all her years experience with men. She finds it confusing. Yet comforting. Feeling that wonder child inside stir some more before the brat slaps her in the back of the head. This is why you stay locked down. Too eager and not enough caution.  The mix of emotions inside rolling over in her mind cause an automatic reaction. The smile softens on her lips. Eyes closing just a little before she peers up at him through her lashes. His hand has moved but two things occured. One she knows never to move from a spot youve been placed unless you want the belt. Yet, a stranger feeling she's not sure she's felt before. Of not wanting to move hand this time. In fear of feeling to stiff again she lightly brushes her fingertips along his thigh. Not out of habit this time but because maybe part of her actually wanted to.  Squeezing her thighs together she notices how wet she's become. She can't understand it. Pressing them tighter in fear of leaving behind a wet spot. She can't help but think, "Where are the drinks?" His relief at feeling her hand beginning to rub his thigh is a welcome relief. Although part of him wonders. Is this just a programmed response? Is she like the many other women he has spent countless hours with chatting, exchanging photos and erotica only to vanish after the session was over.  Almost as if, they, no different than what would be considered creepy guys. They used him to flirt and arouse until they achieved their level of sexual satisfaction and then disappeared. Leading him on like a cruel joke. No he says. That's why he reminds himself, it's not about the sex.  If not to toy with him then what would a beautiful young woman see in an older man like himself. The look in her eyes as she looks at him gives him strength. He sees so much of himself in her. Scars of hurt, rejection, pain and broken promises of lost love.  Yet here I am today he says almost out loud. Daring to take each step to move forward proud and strong. To never give up and to fight whatever battle comes my way. In whatever shape or form it manifests itself. His strength comes from his confidence. A weaker man would be shy and afraid to take a chance again for fear of once again being used and rejected. Tossed aside like left over scraps. But no not me. I am a WARRIOR! I want to believe that there are still people who can love out there the way I do. It keeps my faith in humanity from being irradicated. All this swims through him as his mind processes it all with the lightning speed of a super computer. Just like his training. Compartmentalize evaluate the situation and act. It has worked for him all his life. The long pause between them like a moment of silence causes some awkwardness between them. Then he feels her rubbing his thigh harder. More confidently as if by her own attrition and not a programmed response or expectational desire. It's as if she can see him go far away and is saying, "I'm here. I want to be here and you're ok". Once again he looks into her eyes and sees something that wasn't there before. A softness. A real glitter almost as if they were smiling at him. Wanting and desiring him. His already hard cock twitches. He feels it touch against her hand from the unexpected reaction she's caused. He feels a wetness against his bare thigh as he realizes he's leaking because of her! Thoughts are interrupted as the waitress finally arrives. He orders a Sprite for himself and looks at her and asks. "What would you like beautiful?" A gentle nibble and a kiss! Her coy way of showing affection is illuminating. Her cute sense of witty humor threw him off guard but breaks a grin on his face. She has the humor in her like I do he thinks.  He turns to her and sees her sitting there hands clasped together on her lap. Legs firmly held tight as if to ward off foreign invaders and protect her real-estate.  He slowly eyes her up and down. Her breasts he notices pushed out as if she is attempting to seduce him with them. Her heavy breathing pushing them in and out each time she takes a breath.  He notices how the dress accents her features and brings out the woman in her. Good choice he thinks to himself glad that he purchased it for her and had it shipped to her. Along with the garters that hold up those incredible stockings he liked so much. As he continues down he sees the cowgirl boots as well. He noticed how well the whole outfit fit her earlier but was too enthralled with other things to notice all the details till now. Even tho they are imprinted in his mind to remember forever. Their first meet and date which if leads to what he hopes and knows she desires may be a long term relationship. He brings his eyes up and looks deep into her eyes now. He made it quite obvious that he was checking her out. He looks at her hoping that checking her out and admiring her has pleased her. Perhaps even aroused her. He leans in and plants a soft and gentle kiss on her neck again. He loves necks and shoulders. Moving to her ear as the waitress returns with their drinks He whispers. "You are sexy as fuck. Even more beautiful in person than all the pictures and videos you sent me can capture. If only you knew how much I desire you right now." The waitress places the drinks in front of them smiling as she overheard his comment. She even noticed his tongue flicker across her ear. "Would you two like anything to eat tonight?" She asks. He looks at her and grins. "On our menu" she chuckles knowing what that grin insinuated. His Katey too giggled at that. Feeling more confident in herself knowing his desire was genuine.  He laughing says. Yes please can you bring us some menus.  You obviously know what I would like as my appetizer and dessert He says to the waitress knowing she has a good sense of humor. The waitress laughs with him. I don't blame you she says. I would probably skip all of that and just have her as the main course myself..... A chuckle from in his heart surfaces itself. It's audible sound to those within earshot turn to look it is that infectious and genuine. He wraps his arm around her neck as she cuddles into him for the first time. Feeling her warmth against him he wraps his arm around her neck holding her closer to him. Enjoying how she feels. He notices and feels her hand upon his thigh. This time voluntarily and with movement of its own.  "She's a firecracker isn't she" he half asks half states to the waitress. The waitress can't help but notice in the position she is in now with her head tucked into him, his arm around her neck asnif claiming ownership that she can see right down her dress. Her beautiful breast in plain sight and her nipples hard from arousal. She sees the woman's hand move to his thigh. The action of her rubbing draws her attention to it. She notices how hard he is and how his cock is running down the inside of his thigh mere millimeters from her hand. She notices what looks to be a damp spit on his jeans. She's is mesmerized by these two as she is hypnotized by their hidden affection and the energy radiating from them. She sees her run her finger along the length of his rigid cock. Slowly methodically with purpose. This little vixen knows exactly what she is doing as she looks up at her, stares into her eyes and grins. His cock continually twitching and pulsing from her actions. His voice draws her back to reality. "Whatever she wants tonight. We are celebrating our union" he says. Then he looks down at her as she lifts her eyes to meet his. A glimmer that sparkles thru his piercing blue eyes looking deep into hers. "What would my darling pet like to eat" he softly asks her. As he waits for her reply he can't help but feel a rush running thru his body. The way she's teasing his cock on her own. She may think that he didn't notice the pixy like smile she gave the waitress who saw her doing it. As he looks down into her eyes to ask her what she would like he too notices the plunging neckline of her dress is allowing anyone above her to see her tits. He sees her nipples standing out exceptionally far and hard from the soft roundness of her breast.  It excites him making him leak once again. He can feel the wet warmth released from the eye of his cock. After asking her what she would like he gently blows down the front of her dress. His breath running down her neck across her brwasr and to her nipples. He swears it looks like they just got bigger from that. He turns to the waitress noticing she saw this too. Her reaction is priceless. Her almost hypnotic state excites him. She TOO wants and desires his little pet nestled softly and safely against him as his strong arm holds her tight. He blinks his eyes several times. The light starting to creep its way into the room is almost blinding. He rubs them trying to get the sleep out of them as he looks around and then checks out the clock. Looking down at his crotch he realizes his cock is still hard. There's even a couple wet spots on his underwear. Clearing his head he slowly gets up to go make coffee. Wow that was one hell of a dream he smiles to himself remembering it.  

Well let some thing here about me to help explain who i am what am and things i like to do on both sides of the fence. Let start with that i am 53 years old living in Kannsas . I enjoy movies of most genres from scifi to fantasy action and more i have over 300 dvds i like scifi tv shows cartoons anime. i like to read and cuddle i like to build lego starwars and others i like to play computer and videogames i like baking . i do have some medical issues but dont we all if that upsets you then move along i am not here for your hate messages or you trying to tell me i shouldnt be on here looking as you are not my keeper and have no right to tell me what to do or where i can be. ( sorry about that rant but needed to be put out there)   what i am is real simple i am a gentle kind person i can be supportive and fair but i can be controlling and strict as well . i am someone who believes in a person being honest and keeping their word and promises i dislike those that break then and lie about things     

In shadows deep where secrets lie, A man of strength, beneath the sky, Dominance etched upon his face, Yet hidden yearnings seek their place.   He walks with power, commands the air, Yet dreams of moments soft and rare, Of tender hands and whispered might, Of yielding to her gentle light.   She stands before him, eyes aglow, A force of nature, soft and slow, In her presence, he finds release, His iron will begins to cease.   For in her gaze, he finds his home, No longer does he need to roam, To her, he gives his crown and throne, Under her strength, he's not alone.   He surrenders all, his power and pride, And kneels before her, nothing to hide, In submission's sweet and tender grace, He finds his true and rightful place.   Her touch is soft, yet holds command, A gentle force, a guiding hand, She leads him to a world unseen, There is strength and softness and inbetween.   In yielding to her, he is free, A paradox of strength to be, Her words, a balm, her voice, a song, Under her power, where he belongs.   Sometimes bound by iron chains, He feels the strenght of her reign, In her dominion, he is whole, She claims his heart, she owns his soul.   For in her power, he finds peace, A harmony that will not cease, In sweet submission, he is known, Her slave at rest, underneath her throne.    

I've been following the discussion about the idea behind sexuality, gender roles, and gender of the Gods as it relates to those who worship the spirit of nature. One thing that need to be clear is that when it comes to the spirit world according to most religious traditions (paganism included) gender is a characteristic of the physical world. Granted that we all conceive the divine according to cultural patterns that shapes our understanding of what and how the Gods relate to this world. One important characteristic comes from the way we choose to relate and express intimacy with each other and by extension to the divine. If we assume that the divine realm is an ever present reality then when we perform any duty or activity they are infused with that numinous quality that elevates everything to the realm of perfection. Having said that, our sexuality which is as they say "an accident of the flesh" attract the Gods as a way of communing and partaking of that that is universal.  I we establish a divine relationship with the God of nature let's then look at nature to guide us in ascertain the true nature of the God. In nature the diverse ways in which sexuality is expressed provides a canvas to see that the God is at times active, at times passive, and at times neither.   Male to male sex is a show of strength on a different power stream. One partner is the guiding energy and  and the other is the guided energy. Both partake of the divine order of things. So that was divided becomes one in the union of both forces mating. Who is then the divine? Both are because the God moves freely from the phallus to the receiving vessel and back uniting what was broken into a divine whole. The idea of Top or Bottom is foreign to divine; love and bliss is its true nature. Unity is the key to that that makes us human, sex and fulfillment. Then the God is neither a Top or a Bottom he becomes what his lover wants him to be at that glorious moment in which orgasm elevates our humanity to the realm of eternity.

7/31/2024 6:49:25 PM   A very warm and grateful send out to those who have contacted Me to share of their own story and their strength and well wishing.  This was quite unexpected and I appreciate the consideration shown and stories shared.  My very best to you and yours and thank you for the kindness, it means much and has indeed given Me some strength in carrying on.  xox

128 Basic slave Rules i will serve, obey and please my owner. Above all else my primary focus shall be to please my owner hoping that He finds me pleasing in all that I do, whether i am in His presence or not. my owner knows of my potential, learning more about me in each day i am with Him. He trusts that i will act in accordance with what He perceives of my potential - He knows what is best for me and how important it is that i set a good example for other females who may be present around me. i worship my owner  i worship my owner body. The power of my owner fills me with awe. Just the sheer thought of Him or the hearing of His voice gives me strength. To receive pleasure i must earn it. i worship my owner whip. i trust my owner responsibilities, Her skills, Her hunger and needs, and Her concern for my safety, my emotional, psychological, social, sexual, and physical health. i am nothing more than an of great value - an instrument owner will use to draw out His pleasures. i will ask my owner for permission to satisfy whatever need i have before acting on it. my body and mind are the property of my owner  i must always give thanks to my owner for all i am given immediately after receiving what He has given me, for such things are gifts or privileges granted to me by Him. i must be both specific and explicit in my speech.  

Raw Desire   Slinky, nimble nature. Lingering sweat. Frolicking tears.   Within pelvic bones something smolders deep aching need.   Luscious, round, and sleek breasts exude sweet lactation.   Moist, mature cunt gripping, stretching, fainting on the horn.