i'm looking to find a relationship with a woman who is local, and who is the Top to my bottom... Sadist to my masochist. i need the D/s dynamic in my life and in any relationship that i have, and i've been lonely and alone for too long. ;) PM me if You are interested in talking, and learning more about one another. i'm not looking for a one night stand, or a one time play date.

more about me: 

i was fairly sheltered growing up - not because my parents' specifically sheltered me from the world, but because i sheltered myself from much of the outside world. i have anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder, and so i imposed all sorts of rules on myself - many of which were not healthy. i have always craved discipline and rules, and did not have much of that growing up. i was pretty much the "rule abiding" good kid growing up, because i was always afraid to break the rules (part of the OCD and anxiety). i also have multiple medical problems that were really intense when i was younger, especially during middle school through my college years (basically until about a year ago), and can still get intense at times, but i'm more "normal" than not in that regard at this point. because of my living with serious medical conditions, i really never had any true rules, and if a rule was created, and not followed, i was almost always given a pass because my medical status was used as an excuse - by others, as well as by myself. i always fantasized about spankings, and being properly disciplined for not obeying requests, but like i said, was sheltered and had no clue that D/s and the world of BDSM existed at that point in my life, and i thought that something was seriously wrong with me! by the time that i was getting ready to leave for college, which i was attending away from home (i live in NC, and i went to school in the DC area), i finally had my own computer that was not a shared "family" computer, and i started to do searches about spanking, discipline, punishment and the like, and to be honest, i was shocked by the search results the first time that i did a search! until i started doing internet searches, i did not realize that there was a sexual component to spanking, that BDSM existed, and that adults engaged in consensual spanking. i finally started to realize that i was not completely crazy, and i joined email groups where i was able to connect with people who were in the DC area to begin my search for a Dominant.

my journey into D/s:

i connected with an amazing Dominant, and He has introduced me to everything that i now know in the BDSM world. He has trained me, mentored me, and been my guide for the last (almost) 9 years. i was unfortunately only able to be in the DC area for about 2 years before medical issues became too intense for me to continue my university studies and i had to come back home to NC. our relationship has been long distance for the rest of the time, but no less meaningful, nor less powerful. my Dominant has been my Master, my Mentor, and my Daddy. He guided me through the realization that i'm gay, and helped me through that process, and He has been there for me through positive times - my graduations, birthdays, milestone events, - and the not-so-positive times - surgical procedures, family crises - and just day-to-day life.... and now He has guided me to the realization that it is time for me to find a Dominant Woman here in NC with whom i can form a relationship, and move forward with living my life.

some info about how the relationship has worked thus far with my Dominant:
we speak several times each week, and text with updates. part of our arrangement is that i'm only to call on certain days, and during certain times, and that is one of my rules (my OCD and anxiety make me often think that if i'm dealing with an issue that comes up, i have to talk about it with Sir NOW, and i've learned - the hard way - that that's not ok with my Sir). when i break a rule, i am punished, and often severely. my punishments include (and are not limited to): ~ being grounded - no communication with Sir for a specified period of time, an early bed time, and only going out for essential needs (appointments, classes, required errands; but no trips to the coffee shop, outings with friends, "fun" trips to the mall or stores); ~ mouth soaping - holding a bar of soap in my mouth while on the phone with Sir while given a lecture, or if instructed by text, for the specified amount of time followed by the specified amount of time in the corner; ~ spankings (these can be done in a way such that i love them or i hate them - it is possible to use a spanking as a punishment for a spanko!) - using the hairbrush or paddle to spank myself at my Sir's direction so that He can hear the spanks and can hear my reaction. when He is satisfied with the spanking, a picture of my bare bottom/thighs/breasts/whatever has been spanked is required to be sent to my Sir, along with a picture of my face so that he can see the tears; ~ lectures - almost always leave me crying almost as soon as they start, because i really do hate disappointing my Sir; ~ orgasm denial - after a severe punishment, not being allowed to cum for a specified period of time

We also play, and many of the same things that can be used for a punishment can also be a lot of fun under different circumstances. :) Spankings fall in to this category. So do butt plugs and nipple clamps... and making me wait to cum until i'm almost going crazy! When it is for fun, it just makes the orgasms stronger, and a lot more fun. i really like pain. i'm a masochist. i like being forced to put in a butt plug, and then being spanked with the butt plug in. i also enjoy nipple clamps, and being told that i need to run my errands for the day with a butt plug in and nipple clamps on under my shirt. it makes my heart race, and i know that i'm pleasing my Sir to do these things.

i'm an extremely submissive young woman, and i love pleasing my Top.

again, i'm looking to find a relationship with a woman who is local, and who is the Top to my bottom... Sadist to my masochist. i need the D/s dynamic in my life and in any relationship that i have, and i've been lonely and alone for too long. ;) PM me if You are interested in talking, and learning more about one another. i'm not looking for a one night stand, or a one time play date. i'm looking for a relationship that can grow and develop. i'd love to start with a cup of coffee or a meal to get to know one another, and we can discuss further plans from there. if you are interested in getting to know me further, PM me.