5/19/2014 4:57:16 PM: What this slave needs right now is to be bent over and spanked swiftly and hard like with a brush or strap until I am crying my eyes out.   I desperately need to be controlled and taken and not allowed to think. 

4/28/2014 1:58:19 PM: Spent a lovely night with Daddy this weekend, oh how the body aches afterwards....but its good you know?  Knowing that the pain you are feeling is because you played and not because you were working or worse yet doing nothing at all.     cow loves being with Daddy we are so different in so many ways, but when it comes to bedrock beliefs and the way we live our lives we are very very much the same.     cow loves curling up next to him after a long night of play.  It can't imagine the joy others have when they do that on a nightly basis, that must be so wonderful.  

4/25/2014 10:27:35 AM: Ok follow up to cows last post.....feeling disconnected to its true self cow went to the restroom to do its daily enema in order to wear plugs.....well today cow got down on its hands and knees while the water went in.  Instead of doing the enema in a practical normal person way cow did it as if there was a Dominant there and its subjugation was for his pleasure.  Instantly cow felt that feeling of humiliation and lowliness....it was nice.  When cow was down there it notice some cleaning that had to be done so as soon as the enema was complete cow cleaned the bathroom floor as well.  

4/25/2014 9:47:53 AM: Nothing sexy and great to put in this journal because there is just nothing sexy and great happening.  Daddy has not had time for cow in several weeks and the vanilla obligations have gotten in the way.  cow has always believed that the only way one can be a slave or a Master 24/7 is to find a  way to blend M/s with vanilla.  Clearly the world is not ok with cow being taken naked on all fours on a leash for a walk.....if we did that cow's life would be destroyed.  The lives of its family members would also be destroyed.  But if You are a smart Master You can make sure your slave knows its lowly place no matter where You are.   cow is looking forward to the day when it serves its Daddy full time and when we are in the store its clit tickles because it has to walk behind or doesn't wear panties or any number of things where the two of us clearly know that I am his cow and will be fucked and used in anyway he see's fit.   Daddy has implemented some new anal training and that is nice for cow to have some training because right now it just doesn't feel like a slave.  cow needs to find ways to feel its place even when it is very busy doing other things.  Next weekend is another incredibly busy weekend and cow feels rather hopeless about the chance to see Daddy.   Daddy is always saying 'Enjoy life as it comes each and every day.  Don't take anything for granted, Don't ask for anything. Everything comes to those who are patient and wait.' Let cow tell You that this is a very hard example to follow.  As a slave cow believes in worshiping its Master, for cow that means having strong feelings of affection.  Those strong emotions allow cow to lose itself in worship and obedience.  It's kinda hard to blend those two philosophies because  cows emotions of love and devotion create a need to be with him and that flies in the face of expect nothing.  cow can't wait for June when life will slow down a little and maybe it will get the chance to see its Daddy.  it needs so bad to serve on a more regular basis, to know its place and find a way to serve everyday while it is doing its 'vanilla' life.  it just feels like it is losing the slave part of its life.  At the same time it doesn't want the slave part of its life to ruin the vanilla part......can't we have both?

4/23/2014 12:12:01 PM: Cow has a cat that thinks He is cows Master.  He is very demanding and territorial over cow.  Whenever a man calls cow (usually cow puts them on speaker phone) out of nowhere the cat shows up and plops down next to cow....talking to it over and over demanding that cow pay attention to Him.  He puts his paw on cow and kisses its hands while he competes with Human Man on the phone.  its pretty darn funny to watch.  After they hang up He sits there in control of his domain and his woman.