About me? I belong to Cookie. He's my Boss and I adore him. Even when he's flatuent or won't quit talking so I can go to sleep. He's awesome, he's be-awesome (and yes, I did just reference a kids' movie. Bolt to be exact). I love him more than pie which is why I married him (we're monogamous, BTW).

Now that that's taken care of, what else is there to say? Hmm... Well, I'm not at all interesting. In fact, I'm rather dull. So dull in fact that if I were a butter knife I would fail at slicing through butter. I'm a jerk and a bit of an asshole and I'm really rather mean. I punt puppies for shits and giggles and I've been known to steal candy from babies. I once killed an entire family of raccoons with my Chevette, that's how horrid I am.

I have a dog that farts nearly as much as the Boss does. I have a shiney new car that needs a bath as it's not at all shiney any more. Stupid road salt. I have all of my fingers and toes and really hope that none of them get gnawed off by anything brave enough to venture into thwapping distance.

I don't talk to strangers, only strange people, and I won't talk to them if they try to get bossy with me. My Boss approves of me verbally abusing anybody who tries, and I suspect that if it were to happen in person he would also approve a good, swift kick to the gonads.

I hate quick sand, enjoy long walks of short piers, and love shiney things. I'm also rather fond of Wendy's greasy cheese burgers and Cadburry eggs.