Hi my name is Sara and I am very bi, very submissive, and very open minded. So much for the verys. I live in Los Angeles again. I've been bouncing around southern California like I'm barefoot on hot asphalt. Just a quick update, it appears that I am no longer desired by southern California. The robust employment environment has left me penniless and soon to be homeless. So thank you Los Angeles, you deserve the residents that live in you down to the very last douche bag. I am picking up my few meager belongings and headed for a distant land where I will live in a basement and freeze my ass off. Go screw yourself LA and all of you who reside here.
I am not sure what box to check in the gender category as it always seems to be either or. I am a nonoperative trans person with no plans to part with that which nature gave me. I have grown fond of that. I do not live as Sara 24/7, as much as I desire to. My transition was interrupted by a series of lifes fun random occurrences. I have been hovering in limbo for 5 years. I'm not who I wan't to be and not who I was. If I were to hit the lottery or patent the formula for the fountain of youth or find a kind soul with the patience and desire to join me in that life I seek, my less glamorous self would be a distant memory. Life is hard enough without trying to juggle two of them.
I have to be completely honest, I am untrained and inexperienced. Given the nature of the CM user, I don't see that changing anytime soon. Flakes, fakes and liars, with an occasional gem that lives 3000 miles away or is in a monogamous d/s relationship. Ive been surrounded by this lifestyle for many years, but it is only recently that I have felt a compulsion to join it. Some might wonder how I know I'm submissive or that I can be owned. Truth be told, I don't. I have always had a submissive nature and now I am hoping to explore that side of my being.
My fetishes read like the boilerplate profile for most cds, tss, or tgs. If you don't know what I mean by that please ask. I like variety in sex from sweaty, rough and loud, to soft, sweet and tender. Some dominants seem to think that submissive means completely docile and compliant. If you think that, I'm definitely not for you. I tend to speak my mind and if I see a mistake or injustice I'm going to try to correct it.
As for what I am looking for well that is a big question and I not sure I know the answer. I guess different things at different times. There are a lot of things I look for in a person I wish to serve, gender is not one of them. I think both sexes and those in between all have their beauty and I wouldnt rule any out. I don't need a full time or serious relationship. However, I don't see the point in pursuing meetings with a person if there is absolutely no chance of that meeting growing into something meaningful .
My Limits are fairly standard, I'm not into blood, needles, bathroom games, extreme pain and I've never really understood the sexual aspects of infantilism. The last is not a judgment, just a lack of any ability to understand on my part. Also, no bare-backing or similar high risk activities and I never ever top. That would be as unnatural to me as speaking ancient Babylonian. Finally, no activities that could lead to legal entanglement.
Like anybody else, there is a lot more to me than I care to write or you care to read. If you don't see it ask, I am honest to a fault and I have yet to find a subject that I feel is too personal or embarrassing to be honestly discussed.
9/17/2010 5:55:05 AM: I've been away for quite some time and I'm not sure if I am going to come back. It isn't for a lack of interest that I have gone from here but a lack of ability to visit the site. If I ever find myself on stable footing again, a situation that seems highly unlikely to me at this point, I will come back and try to respond to all of the messages i've let stack up.
3/29/2010 12:13:52 AM: I was looking on the recent journals page as I accidentally hit the "Recent Journals" button when I was trying see "Who's Viewing Me?" for a little ego boost. I noticed they have buttons for Female posts and Male posts, but none for those of us identifying in between. I know we dont fit conveniently into the boxes society likes to use for ease of identification and instantaneous judgment, but here? I would think that in this subculture there would be some attention paid to such details as that. I know that the BDSM community is often as judgmental as the vanilla world is on this point, but usually there is the illusion of inclusion even when the reality is we are not welcome.
1/11/2010 12:06:57 AM: God I'm a fucking idiot. I have been on this site off and on for what 5 years. I have been through the process enough to know that mostly, people are here to live a fantasy, if even only online for a few minutes, days, weeks. I have learned that if something looks too good to be true, it is. Even if it doesn't look to good, there is a 90% chance it isn't true. Knowing all of this, having all of this experience and understanding of the online human animal didn't help one iota this last month. I got played. Not just played, that usually brings with it no more than an annoyance. I allowed myself the luxury of hope and dropped my guard. I gave him everything I had to give, I bared my soul to him and revealed things about myself some of my best friends don't even know. We communicated daily and often for an hour or more. He seemed to be taken with me and I was foolish enough to open myself up to the possibility that he was for real.Now nothing. No IMs, no email, no CM messages. None of my messages have generated a response. On top of everything else that is broken about my life, career, social life, finances, and health, I have a broken heart to stack on top. I am in a perfect storm of negative Karma. There is not one single aspect of my life that I can think about that makes me respond "well, at least there is that."To quote Otter from Animal House "You fucked up. You trusted us." If you are reading this thinking, cool a live one, you can put your dick back in your pants. I won't be making that mistake again, not now, not ever.
12/24/2009 10:47:33 AM: I was surfing profiles on this and other contact sites today and something began to bug me. There is a tendency for trans to declare that they are "sexy". While I know that "sexy" is more than how you look, is it really for any individual to claim to be sexy, after all the definition of sexy is different for each viewer. What if I am not attracted to trans or blonds, or boastful people. Saying one is sexy, is like claiming to be beautiful, passable, or young. Those claims are all relative to the viewer and his or her tastes. Now I will reread my own profile to make sure I didn't do it as well. ;)
